The Manipulators Are At It Again

I see they are working up toward trying to convince people that only government workers should have guns. People you can trust. Too bad the whole concept of freedom and rights, and not recognizing the divine right of kings and upper castes has eluded the bulk of the world and the people in this country.

Why is it that when we were a budding agrarian country, whose citizens believed they needed firearms to keep the government honest, as well as to protect themselves, there was not the issue of kids punking out with firearms and homeowners afraid to prepare to protect themselves and their property?

No question that civilization's evolution has twisted matters considerably, and that movies and video games have put complete fiction and insanity in the minds of many. Obviously with the growth of the country has come a disproportionate amplification of the ranks of idiots. That is no reason to assume the official idiots have the authority to usurp the rights of the rest of the population to protect themselves against rogue tyranny and other criminals. Not to mention bears.



Just like the prelude to Iraq 1, and Bosnia, etc, it starts with clues in the media. After Viet Nam, no one imagined that any war which was not clearly a defense of the country would have the slightest support. Then they quit airing all the anti-war stuff and started having shows that made it look kind of fun. Pretty soon we were back to having a crop of kids about 18 or so thinking you go kick ass and no one can stop you.

Defense against rogue government is just about a thing of the past anyway. The new McCarthyism, Castroism, Stalinism policy in this country toward those who disagree with those in power is building steam and it could get dicey.

It's always a flip flop. You wait. I bet this administration ends up with more tangled overseas operations than we've ever had. people might join up just so they can have a gun since they are in the sights of the neo-prohibitionists. But don't expect any war, police action or involvement to have any conclusive outcome. That is not longer their purpose.

I don't mind reasonable reports and documentaries, but when the purpose and method is propaganda, and when they ignore some very basic principles, I find it disgusting.

It is stupid to have kids and guns together if a lot of hard core training and discipline are lacking. It is even dumber to have to hide it away if it is there for protection, which is wise in many cities. Hold on, Bad Guy, let me go unlock my gun down in the basement.

Oddly, the show that hit the nerve is showing how easy it is to buy guns, and I find that comforting. It makes me want to buy some guns before it becomes a thing that puts me on too many official lists. That's because I trust the general public more than the government. Gangs and crooks are a problem but the same as the thugs in power. I have noticed that they target regular people more than they really target gangs and true trouble. One obvious case of that was the Ramos-Compean debacle. The drug thug was protected and rewarded by our own government.

Speaking of which, Johnny Sutton is resigning. Perhaps he has a pot of gold waiting in some Mexican beach town as a reward. What a slime ball.

Lazy Day

It was slightly rainy and what I had to do wasn't all that much. So, I did what I needed or wanted to finish and took off early relative to most days. Usually I quit at dark. Today I don't think it was 5:00PM yet.

Times are tight and I hope not to have any unexpected expense. As I drove home I was thinking about that. Then I started looking around realizing how glad I am to be in the low mountains, how pretty it al is right now. It is hard to ward off concern and worry but stressing over it is not a plan of improvement. It is actually counter productive. For awhile I was able to just experience the experience and feel fortunate that I am here.

It's a constant confusion, knowing what is what. I started to better define that thought but decided to leave it at that. Understanding where true limits and capabilities lie is key to knowing if goals are pure insanity. Most of the time I find I can do more than I thought. It depends on the endeavor.

Head Banging

I just deleted a lengthy treatise on why energy development should be private, as in run by evil capitalists, and decentralized, as in figure a way to power the home, at the home, or the neighborhood, rather than be hostage to remote huge central sources. It's far more secure as well.

It is a waste of time to try to push such ideas. But it does seem like something is seriously wrong with the setup, as we know it, and definitely as the rest of the world knows it, or wants to.

When I mentioned the thought that I ought to figure out some sort of business venture to undertake, I was thinking more in terms of lucrative project. Something I would enjoy. A business like a bike shop or prostitution ring is not what I have in mind. Nothing against either of those enterprises, although I don't know how much true happiness can be had there. I guess the bicycle enthusiast and the hooker enthusiast find it worthwhile. I rarely see these bicycle people smiling though. They are all around here and have the expression that they are on a mission from Godt. Suicidal lot, I'll say that. We have ample lanes lined out but they still prefer the middle of the road in places which are not very safe.

As for hookers and their clients, I don't really know. I see what could be working girls around the area and some look happy enough, and ever so qualified. That profession covers a wide spectrum between the five dollar dumpster crack whore to sky's the limit, designer clad grad student. For varying reasons, I couldn't afford either one. Mentally, if nothing else. The idea of paying someone to like me seems a little depressing. Maybe if I were the one getting paid I'd view it differently.

I think I am overdoing it on this teak. How many times can you go back over something? How smooth can it be and how many microscopic little whatnots are you going to deal with? This stuff is beginning to look like it belongs in the house with the other multi big buck antiques and furniture that is too foo foo to even be utilitarian. I like crude, comfortable furniture. Maybe I'm just too clumsy for delicate fine things and dishes that break if looked at wrong.

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My traffic treasure updates have fallen behind. I dodged a big box in the road but was going to fast to read what was possibly inside of it. Could have just been a rodeo clown practicing or something.

I neglected to mention the other day the pedestrian reported strolling in the median and another selling water on the on-ramp. They included those in the list of things on various roads. Today all I heard was that there were boxes somewhere, and a big planter. I'm not sure if the latter was a gardener, and maybe due to California law had to call himself a planter to avoid licensing.

I Forgot

First thing I forgot was what I intended to write. Something was on my mind and seemed like an interesting topic. It wasn't even related to current political or collective madness.

The other thing I forgot was the name of a street in Memphis which is one of the main thoroughfares. I used to travel it frequently. I avoided it regularly. The thing that bothered me was that I could not call it to memory. There have been an increasing number of known things which I find temporarily unavailable when I call for them. That's disturbing. Sometimes I will be around people I know rather well, see frequently, and I will momentarily draw a blank on the name, or I'll feel uncertain about it. I've never been great with names but I knew the names of friends.

Just another of those things. It may be a reflection of the odd kind of stress I've placed on myself lately. Why would anyone indulge stress which could be avoidable or ignored? I don't know. Habit, maybe.

On the other hand, I am remembering more things of distant past, and see many of them in a slightly different light. Some of them are unchanged as far as my opinion and emotion. Mostly there is not much emotion involved. I guess worry is a reflection of fear, so I must be occupied keeping fear at bay. It's a mental exercise. If you are in a room with the walls closing in, the best course is to find an exit or a way to stop the trend. That's where thinking forward, conceiving new goals and endeavors probably pays off.

I think I need to figure out the what and how involved in starting my own business of some kind. Something less physical and more prone to increasing returns than straight job work. One guy can only do so much job work, and charge only so much. It is limited. I have no wish to build an employee heavy enterprise because it is not worth it when you consider the governmental hassles, tax issues and the headaches that come with most employees. I could care less about bossing people around. If others must be involved, I'd rather be the lead than the other way around, but that's not the nature of what I'm after.

Speaking of forgetting, I am in disbelief at this latest crop of Castro worshipping nincompoops. It just goes to show how low the bar really is when it comes to elected officials and others in political circles. Whether the embargo is backfiring or doing any good is one thing, to pretend that life for the average Cuban is equal to that of the overage American is nuts. Forgetting the way that country became a giant prison is dangerous. Of course the idiots who say that you have to crack some eggs if you are going to have a revolution, to justify his mass murder and firing squads are safely wealthy over here.

People were tricked. The wanted change and an end to corruption and such but they thought they were welcoming freedom when Fidel and Che swaggered into town. The got communist style socialism, and the cult of personality. Those places always post humongous portraits of the dictator and his chosen icons. Castro created the cult of Che, and some might argue he also was somewhat complicit in his demise. He became worth more to Fidel dead than alive. He could play him as a martyr to the Revolution and all that. Suckers around the world fell for it hook, line, and tee shirt.

It borders on criminal for people to go over there and fawn over the guy and his ideal state, especially if they are officials in our government. They are supposed to be about freedom and here they are praising the opposite and implying they'd love to institute similar policies and programs here. Oh, I guess they already are.

If you think all that "people's" this and that is glorious stuff, and that what we need is a glorious state like Cuba, just pray that you aren't one of the eggs that has to be cracked. And don't play the sax. They labeled instruments like that as symbols of capitalism, bourgeois, and wouldn't let them play. Cracking eggs was serious business. No time to play and have fun when the people's business needed doing.

I got off on a tangent there. Maybe my memory is not quite as selective as some. Those people get paid and make these trips on the taxpayer's nickel. If idiots like that can make a decent living, I ought to do OK. I'm not quite that idiotic.

Real Things amid the Biggest Mass Mind Control Ever

Last few days have yielded more road furniture and useful building materials right there on the highway for the taking. One report mentioned large boxes, so I count that as a grab bag special. No telling what was inside. It could be nothing or it could be dancing girls and a marching band. Wood and steel were in the road, in different places, and the ever popular couch. California is a different kind of place. But I like it, other than the ever growing volume of taxes and rules which only apply to citizens.

That should not be construed as a xenophobic outburst. I like Mexicans and tend to get along with the ones working in the area where I work. I'm one of the few Americanos who do labor intensive jobs there. There are a couple of others but they are more official and do things of slightly different nature. Foreign and domestic criminals I do not like. And I'm cold enough to think tax money ought not go to feed clothe educate or heal those who aren't citizens or at least here legally. Overall I think that whole issue is probably sort of a smokescreen for more diabolical mischief in power circles.

There is so much to do and experience out West. Freedom to do it is the real treasure. More and more that can mean you need money. Right now, you just need enough to have and hold a vehicle and put fuel in the tank. Lots of places to camp for free if you wind up homeless. Or if you want to escape.

That is a new way of thinking for me, to even consider where to pitch a tent. I learned it on the Ballistic Tour. It seems that people are far more serious about recreation out here. In the west, in general. I don't recall people on the east coast in such numbers just enjoying the nature of the place.

It is important to maintain mobility I think. That is not so easy to do, but so far it seems like it can be done. Easier to stay mobile than to get mobile. That's where having a cross country bike may pay off. If they make driving impossible, put on that pterodactyl looking hat tie the essentials to you back and go pedal across the mountains.

Hell of a thing that I'd even think that way in the 21st century. We should be floating around in 3D, flying cars or some such. But no, we're headed back before horses. You could get in trouble if you start riding a horse everywhere--only a matter of time before the horses-are-people-too people bring a class action suit or something. I bet people wouldn't be throwing furniture all over the road if it came to horses and bicycles.

A lady on George Noory's show claims she was taken to Mars, back in time, several million years. I couldn't follow the whole thing. Sounds like a good idea anyway. Maybe. It could be I found myself in another universe. This could be Mars. It's all adventure wherever it is. It takes some time to make sense of the customs and language. I've been wrestling with that all my life so that's no excuse to complain.

Money Saving

In case I find the irresistible Mrs Me; one big money saver is if she buys into the whole blood diamond thing. How in Hell can anyone ever buy a ring like I see on fingers everywhere in SoCal? Really, that item worries me and has for years. I just don't have the dough. I was watching a good looking news chick tonight and noticed a friggin ring that must have contained an once of gold and a forty carat diamond. I could be over estimating a tad, but even the news chick sets a bad example. So, to save money, ban diamonds.

To save on the cost of water I consider the entire world my urinal. It's a public service as much as anything, especially in an area that pumps water in from places like Colorado. Confuses the coyotes, too.

Don't do credit cards. They can end up charging a lot of money.

Figure out unit cost rather than suckering for the grocery store excitement sale labels. Often it is cheaper to buy 2 18oz jars of peanut butter than the 36oz economy size which has some hooplah tag on it. This is where mental division and accurate estimating pay off. They purposely price things in order to make it hard to quickly break down per unit. Some places have the unit cost in fine print on the price label, but not on the sale label.

Usually generic or store brand is cheaper than famous name brand.

Don't buy Marlboro.

Claim multiple personality disorder and list 2 or 3 of the distinct personalities as dependents.

Keep only pets that can be let outside, and which can find or hunt food on their own. Something like a badger, alley cat, raccoon, squirrel, wolf, owl, mountain lion, or wharf rat. If the animal has no health insurance, treat it as you would yourself, let it get well naturally or die.

Read your neighbor's newspaper

Forget cable, or watch it next door. Or, run a splitter from your neighbor's cable.

Carry a siphon hose at all times.

If you want to give flowers, visit the cemetery for a wide selection at no cost. Weekends and holidays are the best times. Hospitals can be a good source for fresh flowers as well.

Get my new piggy back green machine, a device designed to hook under the frame of the car in front of you. Throw 'er in neutral and experience the joy of extremely high gas mileage. Device comes with easy eject button should your unwitting benefactor turn off.

Run an extension cord from the outside outlet of your neighbor's house, or from nearby businesses to power lamps refrigerator and other electric hungry appliances.

Eat jalapeno peppers in winter to reduce the need for heating.

Never Ending Story, part Nth degree

For as long as I can recall there has been some kind of inner conflict going on. Most of the time I can't define it. Sometimes it is a battle between what makes sense to me and what keeps me from upsetting police. I almost almost subjugate my better judgement to the inferior course of action dictated by the people with the guns.

In retrospect I have often tossed better judgement aside in favor of the inferior course which seemed the majority way, the mainstream, normal thing. Half the time it wasn't at all the normal mainstream thing. Maybe it was just some sophisticated pretense that those wired for civilization as we know it understood. I have some little glitches which evidently are not so obvious, but which have thrown me way off course on a regular basis.

I can see the value in realizing the reality that life is not a practice round so regrets don't do much good. It still seems cruel that smoking doesn't win friends and build muscles, but that is how the game is laid out. Much of what I regret may have been a blessing. It is highly possible that I was never really capable of raising the seven children I wanted, and I probably would not have done well had I remained in various jobs, even though outwardly it appeared that I had promise and potential. You can be competent in some way but lack essential ingredients that would allow you to profit like you would were you not a few apples shy of a bushel, so to speak. It isn't a crime, just how it is. It has taken a long time to see that.

Every now and then the realization of limits, and more, the realization of times when I tried to ignore those limits, causes a little angst of one sort or another. That is the stuff that makes me want to hide away.

And that leads to a type of inner conflict. Accepting one's reality without accepting the wrong type of limitation. Opportunities are far more abundant than I know, almost by definition; I have no idea what all the possible inventions endeavors and schemes possible to a ballistic tourer are, so setting a mental limit is not even logical.

Yet, I do know I have limits on a certain aspect of understanding and reading people which either leads me to trust the untrustworthy or to see rejection when it is not there. That is somewhat more extreme than average. On the other hand I can spot it when someone else is up to no good in matters between others, in which I have no vested interest. I think some of that is normal.

What is not normal are the extremes which have characterized some episodes of my life dealing with such matters. Not a reason for regret because it does not good, and it wastes time and energy as the woe erodes attitude, diminishing the likelihood of recognizing good opportunities. Such regret and sadness over what should have been another way serves only to destroy the contentment of the moment. That is not to say conscience is no good. I'm not talking conscience.

I don't know what I'm talking. But here's a secret teak trick; after all is done and you coated it with teak oil, come back and rub a final coat in with #400 wet or dry sandpaper. It is the way to make things dazzle and be smooth as [name withheld]'s bottom.

Dreaming, the Nerve

Although I'm assuming those, who wake up every day in tax paid comfort wondering how they can fight to make the little nobody's life better today, consider me among the poor downtrodden retches, I find more solace when I find a glimmer of hope to make something happen myself. Partly because my daydreams of productive adventure do not include special ID, waiting in line, or asking permission.

Interesting psychology in that dynamic; "I'm fighting for every hopeless, miserable son of a bitch out there numbing his mind with booze and TV". There is that implication that the one thinking so intently about the plight of the little people is a superior being. Maybe even a God.

Well, I began to envision possibilities again. They may or may not work. Only one way to find out. Half the time, attempting to achieve one goal ends up resulting in a different end altogether, as adjustments along the way change the course. It can be better than plan A. The only way to determine if the goal is attainable or not is to go for it, given that a little forethought has gone into the scheme.

The main ingredient needed to launch an idea is nerve. I think I lost the will to force myself to call on The Nerve a long time ago. I've never really accepted that I would always live in a state of surrender, though. But I haven't quite been willing up until now. I'm not sure if I'm willing to let go of the inhibition at this point. In my dreams I am, and that feels much better than no picture of it at all.

The projects I actually think of aren't really the ones I describe to others. Those may hold some interest, but they aren't the ones in the dreams which feel more liberating, fun, and in sync with my nature.

It feels good to see a course of action which could pay off to some extent, and which may actually be possible. The steps toward it are fairly straight forward. I love it when I can see the way, even if I wonder where I'll get the time and energy.

Somehow that talk of fighting for me seems at odds with the creative process of finding a way to thrive. The mental state it takes to want people you don't even know to wake up thinking how they can control your life in ways they think you want is one of deep depression. It is no wonder it is easier to say, "I'm lost and I'll never be otherwise" than it is to say, "I think I have a plan and it's just crazy enough in might work. I may yet thrive". People view the thriver with resentment and/or suspicion, and the one who's spirit is broken with relief and gratitude. Like family. It's like we've become conditioned to believe we are supposed to have no spirit, and that trying to regain it is futile.

Admittedly the deck is heavily stacked against rebirth and revival of will, but it is probably possible. I hope so.

Just thinking. And it did feel good to muse over possible paths and opportunities again. I'd just come off a jag of fear and loathing. The battle is always between freaking out over my lack of security, what I don't have, can't do, and what is good, what I do have and can do. I'm of the belief that if I keep putting the idea of being some benefit to people who matter up on the front burner, things will be OK. It's a balance, and you never really know when you are a benefit, even though you may think you know. It pays to keep a pure heart. Those times when you think it doesn't always come back to haunt you.

If you make sense out of that then I'm surprised and happy.

Clearing The Mind Clutter; Coast to Coast

The benefit of working until dark is that I can often listen to Coast to Coast radio on the way home. When I decide I don't want to hear any more of the latest Obama adventures into global madness and the oneness of statism, this is a good way to clear my mind.

Tonight, being Saturday, they have old Art Bell episodes. I prefer the ones post 911 for some reason. It appears things just aren't the same since then and things prior to that date feel like another world; one that is gone for good. We've been on the rapid move toward fascism and socialism ever since, and willingly so. At least enough were willing that questioning things paints one as a fringe character, domestic terror risk, probable militia member, or outright kook. Even so, I don't feel as comfortable listening to anything pre-911. Nostalgia makes me uncomfortable. Good memories are fine but I find reliving some things depressing. I'm more nostalgic for times prior to my birth, so I guess it doesn't qualify as nostalgia or living in my own past.

OK. So, tonight's episode was from 2002. I don't know the name of the guest or even what his particular specialty is/was. At one point they were talking about finds in N.America of large, 7 or 8 foot, humanoid skeletons in burial mounds, and other organized spots for placing the quiet and inactive of our neighbors.

The Art guest claimed there were pre-existing mines under the ones we made when first mining coal and copper and such. All this indicated a sophisticated society predating even most of what we think of as Native Americans. Most cultures, even oldie goldies, came from some place else, then they got displaced by some interloper group, and sometimes that group fell to yet other interlopers. Modern bad guys, the evil us, aren't really the only beneficiaries, in history, of good land got by overrunning the less astute in the ways of war or technology, or simply taking advantage of the power greater numbers can bring.

That's the trouble with modern civilization, one of the ills anyway; people are all hell bent on being the holy tribe. So, in our case, first those who sailed from Europe were conquering heroes, the Chosen tribe, then the tide turned so that the vanquished became the holy ones. A lot of truth and a lot of bullshit in both cases. The main point is that there is always a need to have a villain and an innocent victim. Fact and nuance be damned.

No telling if any of what they were discussing has any validity, but it does give a sense of the flow in the dog eat dog world of the population and development of the planet. Now that everyone knows it is round and roughly where everything is, it takes the charm out of conquering the infidel. Or so you'd think. The game and the rules, if any, have changed. In a way I'd love to live to see it all, and then again, I'm happy to know I won't.

Here we go. I went from Art Bell and Atlantis or shadow people right back to raging against the things that I was trying to avoid. This could be serious. It's why people spend lots of time doing church stuff. Obviously I'm unbalanced.

This is what drives people to sail the oceans in a 20' boat. It takes forever, you might not make it, and you have too much reality to occupy your mind to be concerned with the insanity of governments and people who like to run the lives of others. And steal their money and loved ones.

At least I have one useful tip; the True Value in the nearby town sells Watco Teak Oil for over 50 cents less than the Poway Home Depot. That's a tip you can take to the bank.

Green, another word for righteous inferiority

Clean water is great. I like water that won't kill me or leave me glowing in the dark, although it would save on flashlight batteries. Of course clean water is not green. I normally won't drink green water.

It may be more a left coast phenomenon but I suspect the whole country (and many others) has found shelves stocked with Green products which tout their greenness rather than their effectiveness. It is rare that things which say right on the label, "Green, earth friendly, no animals trees, chemicals or anything else used in this product. It won't hurt anything and you can eat it safely", are worth the money. I'm beginning to think that companies which have an abundance of products which don't work are slapping "We're Green" labels on them to exploit the madness and recoup the investment in bad goods.

People feel good that they are somehow honoring the earth goddess by sacrificing money and usefulness with such purchases. They generally don't feel great that the cleaners won't clean.

I'm sure there are some great substances which include only ingredients like eggs and lemons which do work for a specific purpose, although I am hard pressed to name them at the moment. But by godt, we are being good to The Earth, which, of course, we all love dearly. When you really think about it honestly, it is a love-hate situation.

Everyone loves the earth when insulated from its wrath, whether it be little bitey bugs, cold, hot, rain, toranadoes, earth quakes, fires, animals that want to eat you or your food, land that can't be tread in its natural state, etc. The entire game of being human is to protect ourselves from Mommy Dearest--The Earth--so we can mate in clean comfort.

We may as well like it because it is the only planet we have, for now. Loving it or hating it makes no sense to me. Not destroying any source of resources is just rational self interest. Worshipping it and feeling guilty for making use of what's here or for making life a little tougher for creatures who would love to eat us does not seem natural or reasonable.

If people truly want to get back to nature they'd be chasing away every creature that gets in the way, and they'd clear tons of fire breaks in the forest and brush, and make sure their own species comes out on top, with no shred of guilt. Nature is about beating the other life forms in the game and ensuring survival of the species. That's what every life form does to some degree. All they care about is making more of their own. Sometimes a cooperative interaction serves the purpose. Humans and dogs, horses, cows, pigs, etc.; those fish that clean barnacles of other fish, or whatever the deal is.

Not every effective chemical, which one way or another came from the earth, is a sinful devil potion. It takes very little for things to earn that label though. I remember in the 70's when some members of Congress insisted we not allow or work with Boeing in the launch of their SST because they claimed super sonic transports would cause skin cancer and other ills. I'm not making this up. Of course then that opened the door for the French thing that managed to fly here for awhile. Boeing's looked like it would have been a better aircraft.

There is a balance, and it is not anywhere to be seen. Ruining a water supply and such is not good sense, but withholding worthwhile remedies and processes which actually save lives and enhance standard of living makes no sense either. Much of that thinking has only kept primitive third world cultures in poverty more than would be the case if a little evil chemical had been used. In many cases the "science" which was cited to ban a very useful product proved bogus and agenda driven.

More and more the cries for tiptoeing around the holy environment push practices which aren't natural at all. I don't think one could say that forced socialism is at all natural either. Free trade and barter of one's own volition is natural. If 50 people were somehow isolated in the woods with nothing, pretty soon those good at one thing would be trading that for goods and services produced by people good at that. Some would do more building, some more hunting or gathering, and so it goes. Those who couldn't contribute would probably be cared for if they had a decent attitude. It's human nature, but it is by choice.

I don't think the mass hysteria will last forever. I hope the class envy thing ceases before long. That is dangerous.

OK. I'm rambling, but the various elements of passing off tomato juice as dishwashing liquid, and confiscation of wealth and arbitrary distribution of same as humane, seem to reflect a similar mentality. It is somewhat oppressive and no fun.