Lately, the hauntings have returned. Woes over the ones, and opportunities, that got away. Then I was wondering what was behind all the misguided turns in the road, and the freeze that stills my mind and body when it is time to take positive action.
I'm still uncertain. The freeze is habit, most likely; conditioning that cut so deep that I react the same as when a gun was to my head, even though it is no longer there. Hasn't been for almost the last 2/3 of my life. That gun was one that forced inaction.
Some of the tale can't be told because it would sound stupid and present an unfavorable indictment of relatives, alive and not, who had and have their own demons, albeit in much better wrapping than mine. I think I must have done something already that pissed them off. I wasn't even invited to, or sent an announcement of the last wedding in my family. I accidentally found out the deed had been done, online. The worst thing is that, without understanding what is going on, I assume that I must have inadvertently committed some error, and I feel guilty even though I'm ignorant of what it was I did. I've done so many stupid things. Who knows which included witnesses.
In my defense, I have concluded that although I understand right, wrong, and some aspects of reality, I do not quite grasp some things social. Much of civilized life baffles me. As a result, I have been known to assume that people all think and act a particular way, even though it makes no sense, then in an effort to join em if you can't beat em, I suspend reason and do what I perceive is the way it is done, then I suffer because my initial sense of reality was correct despite the appearance that society sees it otherwise. Boy do I suffer from those times when I exercised that kind of bad judgement.
Those times of absurdity have become much less frequent, but you never know. Over the years there was usually a woman who figured prominently in my foibles. I've become far lonelier and less easy, but find I make fewer errors in judgement which anyone would notice. My main errors now are mostly related to that freeze up syndrome. Then the panic of knowing I am a waste washes over me, and I know I don't have to be. There may be a better way. Or else this is the best I'll ever do or be; the zenith of my so-called life.
That's right, I have succumbed to self-pity. It will change. Most things do. Even as we speak I am slightly less concerned about it.
It beats being a well meaning doctor in a John Edwards style lawsuit. Imagine building an honest career and practice, then having all you own and the reputation you built destroyed by some sleezeball in court using junk science, playing on the class envy and ignorance of a jury. I guess this current state of personal angst is less than trivial by comparison.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Hiding from My Life, Considering Tyranny of the Majority Concept
The idea that the job of America is to spread democracy, or that our fabric is about pure democracy is misguided. Overdone, democracy is tyranny. That is why you have to have limits on it. Most of the biggest problems in civilization can be traced back to tyranny of the majority.
Freedom and democracy are not one and the same. For matters which are under the proper jurisdiction of the common conscience, then it is properly decided by majority will. The only way freedom is maximized is to protect the minority from will of the majority in matters of property life choice, etc.
Our system is designed to maximize, in theory, the individual freedom of citizens, however, throughout history the actual principles upon which it was constructed were bypassed, and the result was always bad. That does not discount the validity of the structure, only the validity of the reasoning which has allowed unequal treatment under law.
When special treatment is given to groups based on some identifiable characteristic which has nothing to do with behavior or belief, or any reason devoid of merit, there is risk of a tyranny of the minority. We live in an age in which both sides of that coin operate. Usually it amounts to an oligarchy which finds dividing the population into blocks by varying treatment is able to better maintain power in this manner. That all works because people are more than happy to accept favor at the expense of others, and enjoy believing that life's hardships are visited upon them alone, because they are victims. Too bad so few seem to see that the extra hardships are almost always created by that same oligarchy which pretends to show them special favor.
It is still troubling that the possibility of forced health insurance purchase is on the table. Those who compare it to auto insurance are guilty of faulty logic. If that is the case, can you opt for liability only? Auto insurance is to protect the lender in case you destroy the collateral for the car loan, and to protect others in case you cause damage to people or property with your vehicle.
Had it not been for the twist of thought which allowed courts to deem others responsible for normal risks of living your life on earth, much of the medical mess would be less costly and cumbersome. The idea that the only answer is universal insurance is kind of a jump. I guess those in the insurance business and the related financial businesses like it. It does have its use, but it has become bizarre.
I remember the time before all the hoops; before you had to go to a primary care provider so you could get a referral to see a dermatologist for a raging rash--something most would know was under the purview of a specialist. There was a time that minor surgery could be done without signing forms absolving the surgeon of all liability. I had some bump where I bit my lip and I had to sign all kinds of things acknowledging that I understood I might die from the simple surgery. They didn't even put me under. Of course, first the insurance was going to pay, then not, then the doctor's office was to handle it, then they said, "No, you handle it", then this then that. I just ignored any further mail.
They idea that more government involvement will cure this is one I don't believe. It is primarily tricky regulation that has allowed the insurance game to become what it is. Everything is a code, which any good trouble shooter knows does not always fit the situation. The task of the people messing with your body is to cover themselves ahead of time in case you sue or die or go crazy. The least of the worries is fixing your problem. Those are the things best addressed.
Regardless of all that, free people should have a right to opt in or out, to pay as they go, or to simply take their chances and refuse medical attention if they choose. Someone stands to make a fortune off this forced participation. It has nothing to do with taking the burden off society for those who abuse emergency room services.
Anyway, the reason that there is a cumbersome process for passing laws, requiring a large majority, and requiring both houses of congress is to prevent the majority form being able to run roughshod over the opposition, and to prevent acting on whim. If you've ever witnessed crowd control, or even large committee debates, you know how quickly and easily the majority can change its view. If there weren't barriers to enacting laws they'd be proliferating like rabbits on fertility drugs. They are proliferating like rabbits as it is. Mostly because no one can resist stolen money and special treatment. If it is extorted by government from strangers then it is easy to convince one's self that all is above board and OK.
Pure mob rule by majority could forbid religious choice or even taste in fashion. We don't like those fluorescent green golf pants, make possessing anything of that color punishable by a fine and jail time.
With the advent of various "studies" as support, people have not been able to resist forcing their will on others. Often as not the studies cited are flawed, or the conclusions unfounded. That doesn't matter in California. They still do public service ads and make laws even when the study which spawned the action has been discredited. The important thing is that the desire to influence the bahavior of others is fed. These days that is one appetite which knows no bounds in too many people.
Freedom and democracy are not one and the same. For matters which are under the proper jurisdiction of the common conscience, then it is properly decided by majority will. The only way freedom is maximized is to protect the minority from will of the majority in matters of property life choice, etc.
Our system is designed to maximize, in theory, the individual freedom of citizens, however, throughout history the actual principles upon which it was constructed were bypassed, and the result was always bad. That does not discount the validity of the structure, only the validity of the reasoning which has allowed unequal treatment under law.
When special treatment is given to groups based on some identifiable characteristic which has nothing to do with behavior or belief, or any reason devoid of merit, there is risk of a tyranny of the minority. We live in an age in which both sides of that coin operate. Usually it amounts to an oligarchy which finds dividing the population into blocks by varying treatment is able to better maintain power in this manner. That all works because people are more than happy to accept favor at the expense of others, and enjoy believing that life's hardships are visited upon them alone, because they are victims. Too bad so few seem to see that the extra hardships are almost always created by that same oligarchy which pretends to show them special favor.
It is still troubling that the possibility of forced health insurance purchase is on the table. Those who compare it to auto insurance are guilty of faulty logic. If that is the case, can you opt for liability only? Auto insurance is to protect the lender in case you destroy the collateral for the car loan, and to protect others in case you cause damage to people or property with your vehicle.
Had it not been for the twist of thought which allowed courts to deem others responsible for normal risks of living your life on earth, much of the medical mess would be less costly and cumbersome. The idea that the only answer is universal insurance is kind of a jump. I guess those in the insurance business and the related financial businesses like it. It does have its use, but it has become bizarre.
I remember the time before all the hoops; before you had to go to a primary care provider so you could get a referral to see a dermatologist for a raging rash--something most would know was under the purview of a specialist. There was a time that minor surgery could be done without signing forms absolving the surgeon of all liability. I had some bump where I bit my lip and I had to sign all kinds of things acknowledging that I understood I might die from the simple surgery. They didn't even put me under. Of course, first the insurance was going to pay, then not, then the doctor's office was to handle it, then they said, "No, you handle it", then this then that. I just ignored any further mail.
They idea that more government involvement will cure this is one I don't believe. It is primarily tricky regulation that has allowed the insurance game to become what it is. Everything is a code, which any good trouble shooter knows does not always fit the situation. The task of the people messing with your body is to cover themselves ahead of time in case you sue or die or go crazy. The least of the worries is fixing your problem. Those are the things best addressed.
Regardless of all that, free people should have a right to opt in or out, to pay as they go, or to simply take their chances and refuse medical attention if they choose. Someone stands to make a fortune off this forced participation. It has nothing to do with taking the burden off society for those who abuse emergency room services.
Anyway, the reason that there is a cumbersome process for passing laws, requiring a large majority, and requiring both houses of congress is to prevent the majority form being able to run roughshod over the opposition, and to prevent acting on whim. If you've ever witnessed crowd control, or even large committee debates, you know how quickly and easily the majority can change its view. If there weren't barriers to enacting laws they'd be proliferating like rabbits on fertility drugs. They are proliferating like rabbits as it is. Mostly because no one can resist stolen money and special treatment. If it is extorted by government from strangers then it is easy to convince one's self that all is above board and OK.
Pure mob rule by majority could forbid religious choice or even taste in fashion. We don't like those fluorescent green golf pants, make possessing anything of that color punishable by a fine and jail time.
With the advent of various "studies" as support, people have not been able to resist forcing their will on others. Often as not the studies cited are flawed, or the conclusions unfounded. That doesn't matter in California. They still do public service ads and make laws even when the study which spawned the action has been discredited. The important thing is that the desire to influence the bahavior of others is fed. These days that is one appetite which knows no bounds in too many people.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
This is way to rich to pass up: NY Times preaches ethics
Thanks to Mr Scribbler who put this on one of those confusing x rated dating sites, or maybe twitter or faceoff or was it something else Off? Face the Nation? Could be, Scrib is more of a celeb than he lets on:
For Freelancers, Whose Ethics Matter?
By Mike Janssen on Mar 16, 2010 10:38 AM
A memo sent yesterday by the New York Times suggests an opportunity for freelancers to review their practices for ethical soundness. The memo urged freelancers to revisit the Times’s ethics policy and to be wary of areas particularly ripe for potential conflicts:
Work for companies or organizations that The Times may cover.
Undisclosed ties between the writer and people or institutions mentioned in an article.
Lobbying, advocacy or political activities or contributions related to the area of coverage.
This raises the question: Whose ethical standards do freelancers follow? More often than not, the answer is probably “their own”—and a grasp of ethics can rely heavily on a writer’s professional path. They’re learned, not innate. And unless a freelancer establishes a long-running relationship with a particular publication, it may be rare that he or she ever sees an employer’s ethics policy—if the employer even has one in writing. (Smaller publications in particular may overlook this.)
This is unfortunate because, perhaps more so than journalists tethered to one employer, freelancers may be at greater risk of wading into ethically murky situations. They often cover a variety of subjects for a wide range of clients—somewhere along the way, wires may get crossed, and unexpected conflicts could surface just as a byproduct of all the sources, employers and interests being juggled.
Periodically thumbing through ethics codes such as the Times’s may not be a bad idea for a freelancer, just to get a sense of potential pitfalls. The Project for Ethics in Journalism offers this compendium of codes from various news organizations.
This smacks of job protection and resistance to the growing independent news sources. Sure, some may have an agenda, but it hardly seems possible that their slant is less steep than that of the NY Times, and the usual media suspects.
Seriously, how can anyone not see the slant when the partnership between them and governments have painted anyone opposed to the IRS as a "right wing wacko". Nutcases like neo nazis are painted the same. I guess that socialist equals right wing, because that is what the fascist thing was about. The professor who shot up the faculty meeting was not labeled. Reportedly she was an active campaigner for the current administration. A lunatic is a lunatic.
Back tp the point, it seems odd that the Times would pretend to be above the common unwashed; the lowly freelancer. Remember all the stories they got caught inventing a few years back? I am ever suspicious of news organizations which pretend to be above others who do not share their worldview, or even their concept of what is news.
Standards of integrity would be great to see in all publications and news media. Generally they are the government's marketing department, and the sales tool for the special interests which own those in office.
It has come to the point that huge blocks of the population don't really want truth or value it. They think in terms of the two teams we've been given as our choice. If you criticize democrats or Obama on lines of principle the knee jerk response is "what about Bush, etc.?". Geez. That is rarely the point. One over-stepping administration for another.
Integrity? Give me a break, New York Times. How aout publishing what is in major bills, verbatim, and be sure to cover unequal treatment of various states and groups, earmarks and all that. Of course when you are reporting on things that involve thousands of pages, that's tough.
Having been in marketing and under some circumstances I didn't like, I recognize the tactics; especially the one of telling you what something "means" or will do for you, while avoiding actually defining the "it". Responsible journalists would be digging into that relentlessly. Not t mention the cases in which people in the armed forces and others are being railroaded dishonestly for doing their jobs, or just being on the wrong side of the philosophical spectrum, or maybe just convenient vehicles for people to play political games.
So, you fear competition, Times? Too bad. Practice some objectivity yourselves and maybe life will get better.
For Freelancers, Whose Ethics Matter?
By Mike Janssen on Mar 16, 2010 10:38 AM
A memo sent yesterday by the New York Times suggests an opportunity for freelancers to review their practices for ethical soundness. The memo urged freelancers to revisit the Times’s ethics policy and to be wary of areas particularly ripe for potential conflicts:
Work for companies or organizations that The Times may cover.
Undisclosed ties between the writer and people or institutions mentioned in an article.
Lobbying, advocacy or political activities or contributions related to the area of coverage.
This raises the question: Whose ethical standards do freelancers follow? More often than not, the answer is probably “their own”—and a grasp of ethics can rely heavily on a writer’s professional path. They’re learned, not innate. And unless a freelancer establishes a long-running relationship with a particular publication, it may be rare that he or she ever sees an employer’s ethics policy—if the employer even has one in writing. (Smaller publications in particular may overlook this.)
This is unfortunate because, perhaps more so than journalists tethered to one employer, freelancers may be at greater risk of wading into ethically murky situations. They often cover a variety of subjects for a wide range of clients—somewhere along the way, wires may get crossed, and unexpected conflicts could surface just as a byproduct of all the sources, employers and interests being juggled.
Periodically thumbing through ethics codes such as the Times’s may not be a bad idea for a freelancer, just to get a sense of potential pitfalls. The Project for Ethics in Journalism offers this compendium of codes from various news organizations.
This smacks of job protection and resistance to the growing independent news sources. Sure, some may have an agenda, but it hardly seems possible that their slant is less steep than that of the NY Times, and the usual media suspects.
Seriously, how can anyone not see the slant when the partnership between them and governments have painted anyone opposed to the IRS as a "right wing wacko". Nutcases like neo nazis are painted the same. I guess that socialist equals right wing, because that is what the fascist thing was about. The professor who shot up the faculty meeting was not labeled. Reportedly she was an active campaigner for the current administration. A lunatic is a lunatic.
Back tp the point, it seems odd that the Times would pretend to be above the common unwashed; the lowly freelancer. Remember all the stories they got caught inventing a few years back? I am ever suspicious of news organizations which pretend to be above others who do not share their worldview, or even their concept of what is news.
Standards of integrity would be great to see in all publications and news media. Generally they are the government's marketing department, and the sales tool for the special interests which own those in office.
It has come to the point that huge blocks of the population don't really want truth or value it. They think in terms of the two teams we've been given as our choice. If you criticize democrats or Obama on lines of principle the knee jerk response is "what about Bush, etc.?". Geez. That is rarely the point. One over-stepping administration for another.
Integrity? Give me a break, New York Times. How aout publishing what is in major bills, verbatim, and be sure to cover unequal treatment of various states and groups, earmarks and all that. Of course when you are reporting on things that involve thousands of pages, that's tough.
Having been in marketing and under some circumstances I didn't like, I recognize the tactics; especially the one of telling you what something "means" or will do for you, while avoiding actually defining the "it". Responsible journalists would be digging into that relentlessly. Not t mention the cases in which people in the armed forces and others are being railroaded dishonestly for doing their jobs, or just being on the wrong side of the philosophical spectrum, or maybe just convenient vehicles for people to play political games.
So, you fear competition, Times? Too bad. Practice some objectivity yourselves and maybe life will get better.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Norton Buffalo, he left and I didn't even know
Oct 30, 2009, Norton Buffalo , I can't seem to say died, I suffer from magical thinking and mystology, and in his case, mistology, he ceased life on this plane. He was a great harp player and composer. Some of my favorite stuff is on the albums with him and guitar wizard Roy Rogers. Not the Dale Evans cowboy.
They did several albums together. Slideways is a great one. Norton did some of the scores for Garfield and Charlie Brown. Who knew? And guess what? He was not quite as old as I am. I envy lives well lived. I'm convinced I don't know how to do that. In the mean time I try not to lie cheat steal or otherwise cause trouble. That's why I don't drink. That was the sort of disaster which eludes you somewhat until you can clearly look back at it. Or get thrown out of places or lose friends cars and money, and maybe your soul. Sorry, just how it goes. I may not have ever lost anything, but think I did.
I'm sorry to see Norton go.
They did several albums together. Slideways is a great one. Norton did some of the scores for Garfield and Charlie Brown. Who knew? And guess what? He was not quite as old as I am. I envy lives well lived. I'm convinced I don't know how to do that. In the mean time I try not to lie cheat steal or otherwise cause trouble. That's why I don't drink. That was the sort of disaster which eludes you somewhat until you can clearly look back at it. Or get thrown out of places or lose friends cars and money, and maybe your soul. Sorry, just how it goes. I may not have ever lost anything, but think I did.
I'm sorry to see Norton go.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Ricochet Reckoning
Few people in the world like to be told what to do less than I do. Plenty of people enjoy ordering others around more than I do. Often people either like being told what to do or like telling others what to do. Maybe they are happier. I respect neither approach when it involves non-consenting adults.
Even so, sometimes I think I need someone to dictate my every move so I don't get sidetracked and forget why I got out of bed or drove fifty miles on any given day. One minute I am giving someone a little info on harmonica playing, the next I find I have become almost a biographer of a sexually confused instrumental genius. But for what? No gain there. I know more about some strangers than I know about friends.
That may be a sign of the times. I'll bet hordes of people know more about various celebrities than they do about reasonably close acquaintances; birthdays, likes, dislikes, list of ex relationships, etc. That is strange. Must be an aspect of human nature. Kind of like people who wear their compassion on their sleeve, T-shirt, ball cap, and bumper sticker, yet by-pass all the possibilities in their own backyard, even their own country to go adopt kids from exotic lands, even if it requires bending the laws. Sort of like designer international baby acquisition. No offense Angelina. Not much, anyway. Poor Brad.
See? Why do I know more about lunatic publicity nuts than about real people who've actually broken bread with me? And I'm a mild case.
You have no idea how confusing basic life within civilization is to me, and how it works on me. The one thing that appears certain is that I will leave almost no footprint whatsoever. Contrary to the hypocrites who promote such things, that is not a good feeling. And it is not the way one is supposed to live life unless he's a squirrel or a snail.
I regularly forget that the big "save the planet" routine is still running its of the road, lost from all reason course. Hell we have a new "green" Toyota dealership in El Cajon. What defines a green car dealership? They have power lines running to the place. People will buy anything. I wouldn't mind except all that becomes an excuse to tell people what to do, mind their business, kill the economy and ensure that we don't produce our own cheap petrol. Oil fields do not appear to be as big a blight on the landscape as wind farms. I like both, but the logic of environmental mythology has become beyond absurd.
OK. Screw it. I'm more distressed about the zero footprint life.
Even so, sometimes I think I need someone to dictate my every move so I don't get sidetracked and forget why I got out of bed or drove fifty miles on any given day. One minute I am giving someone a little info on harmonica playing, the next I find I have become almost a biographer of a sexually confused instrumental genius. But for what? No gain there. I know more about some strangers than I know about friends.
That may be a sign of the times. I'll bet hordes of people know more about various celebrities than they do about reasonably close acquaintances; birthdays, likes, dislikes, list of ex relationships, etc. That is strange. Must be an aspect of human nature. Kind of like people who wear their compassion on their sleeve, T-shirt, ball cap, and bumper sticker, yet by-pass all the possibilities in their own backyard, even their own country to go adopt kids from exotic lands, even if it requires bending the laws. Sort of like designer international baby acquisition. No offense Angelina. Not much, anyway. Poor Brad.
See? Why do I know more about lunatic publicity nuts than about real people who've actually broken bread with me? And I'm a mild case.
You have no idea how confusing basic life within civilization is to me, and how it works on me. The one thing that appears certain is that I will leave almost no footprint whatsoever. Contrary to the hypocrites who promote such things, that is not a good feeling. And it is not the way one is supposed to live life unless he's a squirrel or a snail.
I regularly forget that the big "save the planet" routine is still running its of the road, lost from all reason course. Hell we have a new "green" Toyota dealership in El Cajon. What defines a green car dealership? They have power lines running to the place. People will buy anything. I wouldn't mind except all that becomes an excuse to tell people what to do, mind their business, kill the economy and ensure that we don't produce our own cheap petrol. Oil fields do not appear to be as big a blight on the landscape as wind farms. I like both, but the logic of environmental mythology has become beyond absurd.
OK. Screw it. I'm more distressed about the zero footprint life.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Maybe I'll Hit the Bean Blossom Blues Fest again
Oddly, Ricci is headlining again. Same as 2007, when I went there to test my ability to camp and speak to strangers.
Speak of the devil, I was just discussing him in the harp player section of last post. This playing is him cruising, nothing close to the full scope of his music, but a taste---strange tunes, fantastic instrumentals.
Might as well add this one too. Was that a beer in the last one? I think it had to be soda or water. He's been sober for several years, and you cannot play like that drunk. He does chain smoke, or did. Quite a phenomenon.
Got to check this one out. This guy is to harp beyond what Hendrix was to guitar.
This is some wild acoustic
He's a master at bending notes up as well as down, not a common skill. Have to have the harmonica reeds adjusted right. His are professionally reworked by a guy that has about a year waiting list. Takes a $25.00 harp and turns it into about a $300 harp. You figure he's got roughly 20 in his harp box, plus others. Between the electronics and pure talent, I find what Jason does inspiring. You can see from the last video that his range is not just the result of fancy electronics.
*****Now I find this wild crew is playing San Diego on Mar 20, right down there on Shelter Island. maybe I'd go, maybe not. Only $10 which is pretty fair for this kind of quality. His guitar player is getting high praise in blues magazines and such. I think Ricci's up for best instrumentalist at the Blues awards this year.
Speak of the devil, I was just discussing him in the harp player section of last post. This playing is him cruising, nothing close to the full scope of his music, but a taste---strange tunes, fantastic instrumentals.
Might as well add this one too. Was that a beer in the last one? I think it had to be soda or water. He's been sober for several years, and you cannot play like that drunk. He does chain smoke, or did. Quite a phenomenon.
Got to check this one out. This guy is to harp beyond what Hendrix was to guitar.
This is some wild acoustic
He's a master at bending notes up as well as down, not a common skill. Have to have the harmonica reeds adjusted right. His are professionally reworked by a guy that has about a year waiting list. Takes a $25.00 harp and turns it into about a $300 harp. You figure he's got roughly 20 in his harp box, plus others. Between the electronics and pure talent, I find what Jason does inspiring. You can see from the last video that his range is not just the result of fancy electronics.
*****Now I find this wild crew is playing San Diego on Mar 20, right down there on Shelter Island. maybe I'd go, maybe not. Only $10 which is pretty fair for this kind of quality. His guitar player is getting high praise in blues magazines and such. I think Ricci's up for best instrumentalist at the Blues awards this year.
Hyper Mentobia
That is all I know to call it. A little free time and a few stimuli and my mind takes off. I'm not referring to substances when I say stimuli. Just things that come to my attention. These mind racing episodes do not occur all the time, just periodically; sometimes every few hours, every few days or every few weeks. Not necessarily in that order.
Francisco is learning to play harmonica. He's done some time on one of those big guitars doing bass for a mariachi group. He likes blues. So I was asked to give him a list of artists whose CDs would be good in helping him learn. I tried to avoid some of those guys who play a style that seems impossible to learn, like Jason Ricci. I started with Little Walter, of course. He's the one that first found "the sound". It seems too complicated to explain that I learned by a very little bit of exposure to John Mayall and Sonny Boy Williamson, but mostly tried to get the same feel as Eric Clapton's guitar rides when he played with Cream. He actually started with Mayall but that's another matter entirely.
That caused me to check out all sorts of harp players on line and I ended up listening to various samples, and watching plenty of videos. It makes me want to get serious and get electric. Maybe I will before I am way too old, which I may already be. Hell with that. I'll just put a bag over my head, or entire body, and who'll be any the wiser?
Sugar Blue is still playing and has done some good stuff in the USA during the last couple of years. Jason Ricci, I think is still going. He's relative young for a harp player. Most of the best hit their stride later than a lot of other musicians. Ricci is in his early 30's and has pushed the envelope on what you can do with a harp. In some ways he is the best going. He's gay, which just goes to show you---just because you're gay doesn't mean you can't play the hell out of blues/jazz/funk/ way out there music.
He actually gave a little seminar at the Indiana harp event which was the prelude to the Tour and my great escape from total stagnation. Nice guy and very bright. He doesn't sound gay. I should have asked him why. He does often look the part, just no gay voicing.
There aren't but a few girl harmonica players that are any good. I remember seeing one and I forget her name, which is a shame. That chick was good. The implications could spell magic. Again, that's an entirely different matter.
My mind has gone from energy self sufficiency thoughts and ponderings to remembering when I was responsible for little K and her errant mother. When she was 7, I recall walking with her to her mom's job. We'd encounter people I knew from work and they would assume I was the bio dad. They said she had my eyes or other similarities. Mostly, at that time, she shared some of the sense of humor. I liked being a responsible guardian. You have to hold her hand or the little goof ball will walk in front of a speeding train or who knows what. When she was a little younger than that she liked to get too tired to walk so I'd carry her. That is actually one of the highlights of my life; carrying a little kid up three flights of stairs. And generally attempting to make a secure happy place. Don't ever try that with a moron, lunatic, alcoholic, or drug addict.
Anyway, I guess there was some good that came from it. We can only hope. It wouldn't make sense for it to be a happily ever after thing. That is just not the way it usually works. I probably never would have started and kept playing music if I'd known how to live a reasonable life, and if I'd not be running from that sadness since at least four years old. I still don't know what threw the switch but I know it was thrown by the time I turned 4, but not for most of being 3. That mystery still puzzles me at times. Then again, my life is over 2/3 done, so no need to dwell on the useless.
I'm saving up, I hope, to take a long trip this summer. Maybe a road trip. while it is still legal to drive for the hell of it. One way or another. The whole bit of playing blues harp has been such a love-hate relationship. One minute I really want to be playing, and the next I hate every thought of it. It amplifies the fact that I have lost much that I love just because I am how I am, and the music seems to be part of that off beat aspect. I think it is a sign of my defectiveness. Then again, I get mad enough to want to play anyway and just figuratively throw my finger up at all the loss and everyone else.
It makes no sense. I wish I understood. St Francis claimed it is better to seek to understand than to be understood. For one thing you will never be understood so it is smart to get that part out of your mind ASAP.
Francisco is learning to play harmonica. He's done some time on one of those big guitars doing bass for a mariachi group. He likes blues. So I was asked to give him a list of artists whose CDs would be good in helping him learn. I tried to avoid some of those guys who play a style that seems impossible to learn, like Jason Ricci. I started with Little Walter, of course. He's the one that first found "the sound". It seems too complicated to explain that I learned by a very little bit of exposure to John Mayall and Sonny Boy Williamson, but mostly tried to get the same feel as Eric Clapton's guitar rides when he played with Cream. He actually started with Mayall but that's another matter entirely.
That caused me to check out all sorts of harp players on line and I ended up listening to various samples, and watching plenty of videos. It makes me want to get serious and get electric. Maybe I will before I am way too old, which I may already be. Hell with that. I'll just put a bag over my head, or entire body, and who'll be any the wiser?
Sugar Blue is still playing and has done some good stuff in the USA during the last couple of years. Jason Ricci, I think is still going. He's relative young for a harp player. Most of the best hit their stride later than a lot of other musicians. Ricci is in his early 30's and has pushed the envelope on what you can do with a harp. In some ways he is the best going. He's gay, which just goes to show you---just because you're gay doesn't mean you can't play the hell out of blues/jazz/funk/ way out there music.
He actually gave a little seminar at the Indiana harp event which was the prelude to the Tour and my great escape from total stagnation. Nice guy and very bright. He doesn't sound gay. I should have asked him why. He does often look the part, just no gay voicing.
There aren't but a few girl harmonica players that are any good. I remember seeing one and I forget her name, which is a shame. That chick was good. The implications could spell magic. Again, that's an entirely different matter.
My mind has gone from energy self sufficiency thoughts and ponderings to remembering when I was responsible for little K and her errant mother. When she was 7, I recall walking with her to her mom's job. We'd encounter people I knew from work and they would assume I was the bio dad. They said she had my eyes or other similarities. Mostly, at that time, she shared some of the sense of humor. I liked being a responsible guardian. You have to hold her hand or the little goof ball will walk in front of a speeding train or who knows what. When she was a little younger than that she liked to get too tired to walk so I'd carry her. That is actually one of the highlights of my life; carrying a little kid up three flights of stairs. And generally attempting to make a secure happy place. Don't ever try that with a moron, lunatic, alcoholic, or drug addict.
Anyway, I guess there was some good that came from it. We can only hope. It wouldn't make sense for it to be a happily ever after thing. That is just not the way it usually works. I probably never would have started and kept playing music if I'd known how to live a reasonable life, and if I'd not be running from that sadness since at least four years old. I still don't know what threw the switch but I know it was thrown by the time I turned 4, but not for most of being 3. That mystery still puzzles me at times. Then again, my life is over 2/3 done, so no need to dwell on the useless.
I'm saving up, I hope, to take a long trip this summer. Maybe a road trip. while it is still legal to drive for the hell of it. One way or another. The whole bit of playing blues harp has been such a love-hate relationship. One minute I really want to be playing, and the next I hate every thought of it. It amplifies the fact that I have lost much that I love just because I am how I am, and the music seems to be part of that off beat aspect. I think it is a sign of my defectiveness. Then again, I get mad enough to want to play anyway and just figuratively throw my finger up at all the loss and everyone else.
It makes no sense. I wish I understood. St Francis claimed it is better to seek to understand than to be understood. For one thing you will never be understood so it is smart to get that part out of your mind ASAP.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Massa-kissed, and Rahm a Dahm a Ding dong
Strange as it sounds, I don't think anyone actually believes it is out of the day to day Washington envelope for naked men to be bullying other naked men in the figuratively smoke filled back rooms of the legislative process. And anyone familiar with a scintilla of Rahm's resume and reputation would find it hard not to believe he is not beyond pistol whipping members of congress, in the lewdest possible sense of the phrase.
Be that as it may. What strikes me, and what is being totally ignored, is the fact that we have paid to build a gym for representatives in Congress. I can't afford gym membership, and I do not see that as essential for doing the job they allegedly do. Why can't they just join the Y or maybe use some of that extra money, they always seem to get under guise of consulting and such, and pay for their own exercise and entertainment. As flabby as most of them appear, I think they just like the excuse to look at one another in the shower.
Lord help me, for every time I look at the situation I come slightly closer to thinking a citizen strike, pure revolution is in order. Only to put it under the restraints it should be under. The laws already exist. Why should they get to buy gas for their cars cheaper, drink, party and travel the world on our dime? The President and necessary ambassadors, OK, travel. These other thieves, not without real reasons. And usually the reasons are not so valid. I am not willing to send Nancy Pelosi to Italy to do genealogy research, or to Amsterdam with all those others to sample some Dutch ganga for enhancing the senses to detect the warming of the globe.
This guy Massa is one whose credibility can't be taken too seriously. Then again, some of it adds up. The part I have no doubt about is that they have built themselves exercise facilities with public money. We have let freedom degenerate into monarchy. That is not how it ought to be. It's been going on forever, I guess, just progressively worse over time.
So the smoke clouds the view. He groped, he chased around the shower, on and on. The whole time not giving a second's thought to the arrogant entitlement which underpins the entire scene. Groping is a mild metaphor, and like good abuse victims we pretend it isn't happening. Many of us actually do the rationalizing for our abusers, somehow thinking their power will rub off on us. Not me.
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Just to clarify: the above is in reference to the noisy, messy resignation of Rep. Eric Massa from Congress. He is under ethics violations investigation for chumminess unbecoming a legislator. Sounds like making odd advances toward young male aides. He claims he's been set up because he is not going with the flow as laid out by Obama et al. Oddly, he thinks they are too conservative. He relayed a story about Rahm Emmanuel confronting him in a naked chest poking incident in the congrssional gym showers. He says they have now shower curtains. Figures. There are more perverts and sex offenders in DC government than n all the states combined. Well, if you exclude the capital of California maybe.
Be that as it may. What strikes me, and what is being totally ignored, is the fact that we have paid to build a gym for representatives in Congress. I can't afford gym membership, and I do not see that as essential for doing the job they allegedly do. Why can't they just join the Y or maybe use some of that extra money, they always seem to get under guise of consulting and such, and pay for their own exercise and entertainment. As flabby as most of them appear, I think they just like the excuse to look at one another in the shower.
Lord help me, for every time I look at the situation I come slightly closer to thinking a citizen strike, pure revolution is in order. Only to put it under the restraints it should be under. The laws already exist. Why should they get to buy gas for their cars cheaper, drink, party and travel the world on our dime? The President and necessary ambassadors, OK, travel. These other thieves, not without real reasons. And usually the reasons are not so valid. I am not willing to send Nancy Pelosi to Italy to do genealogy research, or to Amsterdam with all those others to sample some Dutch ganga for enhancing the senses to detect the warming of the globe.
This guy Massa is one whose credibility can't be taken too seriously. Then again, some of it adds up. The part I have no doubt about is that they have built themselves exercise facilities with public money. We have let freedom degenerate into monarchy. That is not how it ought to be. It's been going on forever, I guess, just progressively worse over time.
So the smoke clouds the view. He groped, he chased around the shower, on and on. The whole time not giving a second's thought to the arrogant entitlement which underpins the entire scene. Groping is a mild metaphor, and like good abuse victims we pretend it isn't happening. Many of us actually do the rationalizing for our abusers, somehow thinking their power will rub off on us. Not me.
-----------
-----------
Just to clarify: the above is in reference to the noisy, messy resignation of Rep. Eric Massa from Congress. He is under ethics violations investigation for chumminess unbecoming a legislator. Sounds like making odd advances toward young male aides. He claims he's been set up because he is not going with the flow as laid out by Obama et al. Oddly, he thinks they are too conservative. He relayed a story about Rahm Emmanuel confronting him in a naked chest poking incident in the congrssional gym showers. He says they have now shower curtains. Figures. There are more perverts and sex offenders in DC government than n all the states combined. Well, if you exclude the capital of California maybe.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Disapproving Phantoms
Writing here offers me a measuring device to monitor how much I concern myself with opinions (mostly hypothetical) of others, and how much I assume my thoughts and rants would meet with disapproval (also hypothetical, mostly) of friends and acquaintances. The less I write, the more I am assuming people would roll their eyes and scoff. Since I am already isolated enough, I don't risk what I see as my very fragile connection to humanity. They would be idiots to scoff, but most people have their idiotic moments. I know I do, and believe I also have lucid enough moments when I can discern the idiocy of others. I'm just a little less condemning in some ways.
Or I think I am.
Most people are snobs, whether they know it or not. The disdain of "the rich" and disgust at one who has never had to skip a meal for economic reasons, be rejected from a stupid job, etc. is a face of snobbery in itself. Of course there is the usual kind which is based on money, education, esoteric knowledge of secret fads known only to the very chic. Then there is a very peculiar sort of snobbery which is somewhat double jointed. That is the sort of money which eschews the gaucheness of new money, and at the same time abhors the injustices and arrogance of old money, all the while enjoying the society and wealth of each.
Usually, I think that sort of snobbery comes from employed insiders, writers, artists and the like, who enjoy the benefits of rubbing shoulders and being friends with the rich and powerful, but somehow feel guilty for it. Often they come from such money themselves, then grow to believe their subsidized lifestyle, impossible from the noble guilt vocation they've chosen, is a grudging entitlement. They become smugly superior. I've seen it and I've read it. Snobs, snubbing snobs.
I bet I do it too, but can't quite find the self honesty to admit to myself or others where my snobbery falls. It could be that some people see it. I know I have less of that than I once did. I'm not sure that is good. Maybe if I had more pride, false or otherwise, I'd have more of everything else.
It must be a sort of inverse snobbery that I would dread being the brunt of such things in certain venues. Probably less sensitive in many situations. Still the areas it touches are not very beneficial. It would be great to outgrow destructive snobbery and grow into pleasant, entertaining, beneficial snobbery. The kind the guys at the Club enjoy. Very confusing.
Or I think I am.
Most people are snobs, whether they know it or not. The disdain of "the rich" and disgust at one who has never had to skip a meal for economic reasons, be rejected from a stupid job, etc. is a face of snobbery in itself. Of course there is the usual kind which is based on money, education, esoteric knowledge of secret fads known only to the very chic. Then there is a very peculiar sort of snobbery which is somewhat double jointed. That is the sort of money which eschews the gaucheness of new money, and at the same time abhors the injustices and arrogance of old money, all the while enjoying the society and wealth of each.
Usually, I think that sort of snobbery comes from employed insiders, writers, artists and the like, who enjoy the benefits of rubbing shoulders and being friends with the rich and powerful, but somehow feel guilty for it. Often they come from such money themselves, then grow to believe their subsidized lifestyle, impossible from the noble guilt vocation they've chosen, is a grudging entitlement. They become smugly superior. I've seen it and I've read it. Snobs, snubbing snobs.
I bet I do it too, but can't quite find the self honesty to admit to myself or others where my snobbery falls. It could be that some people see it. I know I have less of that than I once did. I'm not sure that is good. Maybe if I had more pride, false or otherwise, I'd have more of everything else.
It must be a sort of inverse snobbery that I would dread being the brunt of such things in certain venues. Probably less sensitive in many situations. Still the areas it touches are not very beneficial. It would be great to outgrow destructive snobbery and grow into pleasant, entertaining, beneficial snobbery. The kind the guys at the Club enjoy. Very confusing.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Private Gum Shoe, or ballistic Fife, or Private Ballistic Dick
My strange ballisticTour of a life lands me in unforeseen places, serving functions not commonly listed on my resume, assuming I have one. Tonight I am guarding a dwelling high on a hill overlooking San Diego bay, and downtown SD beyond.
In case no one remembers Barney Fife, I guess I should call this portion of my enterprise the private whatever. Or ballistic whatnot. I have a radio playing Mexican music downstairs to confuse the enemy. And I am armed with, um, arms. Two of them. I can always throw my shoes at any evil doers, should they be so foolish as to molest the premises on my watch.
The view is the sort I'd seen in Architectural Digest years ago. The spreads they did of houses with decks that overlooked hot shot cities. This is the very bay where they tested the America's Cup boat. It is not out there at this moment.
I left the lowest level dark with a metal chair precariously placed in the stairwell so that they'd either trip, make noise or be otherwise inconvenienced should the intruder try to come in from down there. Too bad good old fashioned, deadly man traps are frowned upon in the courts. I see nothing wrong with rigging a shotgun to go off if someone enters uninvited.
This is a phone pic, and it is night so it doesn't do much justice to the view. Just consider that this is how it would look if your eyesight was impaired with cataracts or something.
This is unrelated. Just another phone pice from a couple of days ago when I swung by the 6000 ft place to get some altitude on Mt Leguna, as the sun was setting behind me.
So, here I am. I broke out the inflatable Morgan bed, and my sleeping bag. I even brought the camp stove and an espresso maker, just in case. The walls are enclosed and some lights work. It is much less messy than my place and they are in the middle of construction. I wonder if that should make me worry.
In case no one remembers Barney Fife, I guess I should call this portion of my enterprise the private whatever. Or ballistic whatnot. I have a radio playing Mexican music downstairs to confuse the enemy. And I am armed with, um, arms. Two of them. I can always throw my shoes at any evil doers, should they be so foolish as to molest the premises on my watch.
The view is the sort I'd seen in Architectural Digest years ago. The spreads they did of houses with decks that overlooked hot shot cities. This is the very bay where they tested the America's Cup boat. It is not out there at this moment.
I left the lowest level dark with a metal chair precariously placed in the stairwell so that they'd either trip, make noise or be otherwise inconvenienced should the intruder try to come in from down there. Too bad good old fashioned, deadly man traps are frowned upon in the courts. I see nothing wrong with rigging a shotgun to go off if someone enters uninvited.
This is a phone pic, and it is night so it doesn't do much justice to the view. Just consider that this is how it would look if your eyesight was impaired with cataracts or something.
This is unrelated. Just another phone pice from a couple of days ago when I swung by the 6000 ft place to get some altitude on Mt Leguna, as the sun was setting behind me.
So, here I am. I broke out the inflatable Morgan bed, and my sleeping bag. I even brought the camp stove and an espresso maker, just in case. The walls are enclosed and some lights work. It is much less messy than my place and they are in the middle of construction. I wonder if that should make me worry.
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About Me
- John0 Juanderlust
- Ballistic Mountain, CA, United States
- Like spring on a summer's day
