Safety, I Get. Something about the official approach hits a nerve

On the radio, they seem to be waiting with bated breath for the first death of the holiday. It is kind of macabre, the way every news report includes talk of how many hours we are into the July 4th weekend, how many predicted fatalities, how many died last year, what police are doing to keep you in line, how many drunks have been arrested, etc. I can't quite put my finger on what bothers me.

It does bother me that so many people think they have to go out and be idiots on the road. It also puzzles me that those appear t go unnoticed by law enforcement, except at road blocks if they get nailed for being drunk. I'd think the most effective road blocks would be right there where people drink. Most of the bars are close together in places where drunks typically drive through store windows and restaurants.

That is another unusual thing I notice about California--people regularly drive through the walls restaurants. I rarely recall this happening in other places I've lived. Maybe it is how things are laid out, but it doesn't seem so different than elsewhere. You have a better chance getting offed in a fast food joint by a speeding zombie than getting struck by lightening or winning the lotto in SoCal.

I can only hope that CA Highway Patrol and the media are disappointed. They sound as if they want fatalities so they can admonish the public and excuse further intrusive tactics. If I had no obligation to play, I think I'd not drive this weekend. Holiday crowds are not a thrill to me. Unless, of course, I'm on stage and the lunatics are there to hear us play. Then I am all for lunatics crowding in.

Did You Know

-that some detergents do not get your whites whiter than white

-that the hair on your legs moves to your nostrils and ears over time

-there is almost no way to dispose of rubbish, cleaning fluids, oil, or anything else in California

-well made corn liquor in the Blue Ridge Mountains is probably the best alcoholic beverage on earth

-bull sharks sometimes can tolerate fresh water and go up river in India and bite off arms

-some people try to make vegetarians of their pet dogs

-

First July 4 gig In Recent Memory

It is possible that I played somewhere on the 4th during my early band jam days, drinking and etc. days. Hopefully I didn't play naked. I do not remember.

Anyway, I do not remember ever playing a conscious 4th of July event. This year we play. I think I have the Star Spangled Banner down pat. It is still very difficult to pull it off clean on a 10 hole diatonic harp. I'll be using a Lee Oskar in G. And I do not intend to hop up or stylize the tune. I think doing the best I can to produce a reverent, possibly slightly dramatic, clean, clear rendition will convey the most respect and sincerity.

Keeping the words in mind as I play helps. And being conscious of what they mean. For years I paid little attention to the actual story being told, so it was just a bunch of empty words with a bit of imagery due to the bursting bombs and such. As per my previous rant, I think a great many in this country lost sight of, or never grasped, the importance of what was attempted when we broke ties with the Crown. The idea was to forbid the governing body from usurping rights and power from the individual to the greatest possible extent. Limited rights were granted to what has become known as "the public sector".

Excuse me while I barf. The terms "public sector" and "private sector" irk me because they imply something foreign to one who actually believes that rights are granted the government by the people, not the other way around, and that the only true economic sector, from the standpoint of producing wealth has nothing to do with government. The encroachment has been misguided. What happens is that dependence leads to more of the same. And allowing such concentration of power, and the advent of career politicians like the late Klansman democrat from W Virginia, has resulted in an unholy alliance between multinational corporate and economic interests and our government. It is not a case of one party being free of that and the other enmeshed. Both are enmeshed. That is why it is so hard to find reason and truth, as well as fidelity to the Constitution in the governing bodies.

They've sold people on the idea that without their control we're doomed, when the opposite is true. Such a ruse.

OK. So we are playing on the coast in an upscale neighborhood. A church of all places. I like that it is supposed to be a crowd of maybe 300. I also like that the band wanted me to play the anthem solo. That is a nice show of faith. Wasn't my idea.

We'll do at least two solid hours, with some interesting songs in there and a lot of good harmonies, if it goes like practice. Much of this falls heavily on guitar/vocalist K. He is definitely the kind of consistent front man that holds things together, and his vocals are outstanding. The other guitar and I rarely do anything the same way twice. It works out. There are a couple of songs L does that really suit her. I heard the original version of one and she does it better than the lady who put it on the map.

Most of the covers are ones I never heard, which is how I prefer it. Otherwise I get messed up with how the harp player fit in on the original. I find I do my part best without that influence. There are some songs I already knew, like Georgia. My favorite version of that is Willie's. K does it a little differently and does it well. C plays a tasty guitar on it and I do my thing without worrying about how well Mickey Raphael did it with Willie Nelson. He is one of my favorites for how he handles being a side man and back up player. Great solos too.

Anyway, I hope this year's celebration means something to people who believe in freedom, rather than being just a day to get drunk and be stupid, blindly following some media promoted stereotype of behavior. It is too bad that on the 4th and New Year's day people get ripped and act out not even knowing why. Plenty don't and I expect the Presbyterian Church orgy crowd to be somewhat sane. I've never been to a Presbyterian orgy, so this will be a first.

No telling, this may lead to becoming a staple on the holy roller circuit. If they pay, I'll play. This is definitely the best program we've put together since we started this group. You may laugh but I think I've got them talked into covering a song you won't believe; partly as a funny novelty, and partly because with our harmonies and instrumentals it may sound good. Inagodadavida, baby. Actually it means In the garden of Eden. It will not sound like the original, but it is doable. Cracks me up.

Between K, C, and L, there are few limits to what can be undertaken in the vocal realm. I mostly throw in a somewhat fake bass, merely producing a slightly lower range, blending sound, which fattens it up but definitely stays back in the mix. Very similar to how I play harp compliment sometimes--just float it in but don't step on the part that should be on top and the focus. I'm not very good as a vocalist, but I can't say no because I want to remain a part of the group. Being the harp player side man in a group is the easiest job in town.

Everyone has to know and do way more than I do. What I rely on is my instinct for blending and handling little instrumental breaks. Maybe everyone doesn't have that natural instinct, I don't know. I feel guilty for having the easiest job.

One thing for sure, this group has forced me to improve my playing considerably. It is the nature of the material, and the fact that it is acoustic. Thankfully there is a bit of effect on my mic to broaden the tone. Not like holding a mic and playing dirty through an amp, but it will make me far better at that when next I play with a more electric group. Or when I go back to Memphis and sit in with the old band.

It is good that I moved into this neighborhood. What are the odds you rent a place out in the sticks and have such talented neighbors right there on Ballistic Mountain?

Most People Would Have Scoffed at those We Celebrate

I was thinking about all the smarmy bastards who think freedom is too much for the common man, those not quite so bright and enlightened as themselves. There is always a rationalization for elitist philosophy.

It comes as a shock that when I consider friends and relatives, how many would never have crossed that line toward independence. They would have reasoned that it was "not that simple", "not for the greater good", or maybe a crime against nature. Very, very few of the people I know are of the philosophy that had to be in place for that big break. Especially since it was such a gamble. Most of them lost homes, family, fortune in the process.

I've worked jobs in which someone wouldn't risk a minimum wage position to do the right thing. There's an abundance of snitwits in the work place who will sell their souls just to make a couple of brownie points more than their coworkers. No way I can imagine these people being the stuff of freedom. That is not what put this place on the map. Too bad so few realize that "this place" refers as much to a concept as a location. The fact that life and liberty weren't privileges granted by the state, but part of nature, was a huge twist in the way people had thought about things forever.

Too bad we never really shook the feudal system as time went on. It is sad. The stupidity and smallness of people allows the perpetual, never ending, ever intrusive con to keep on gaining steam.

Most in the public eye, in entertainment, news, politics scoff at anyone who shares the philosophy of those who sought to create a nation of free people. We are well on the way back to being serfs, subjects of the manor, slaves of the state. Some of these things are subtle but real. I don't even think it is subtle, but I am hypersensitive to uninvited external controls.

So, hopefully you can celebrate the birth of the nation without choking on the word "freedom", knowing that it has to be used in something other than the literal sense. I celebrate the fact I've made it another year without working for the government or seeking public grants or enjoying public assistance. Dependence leads to disappointment and trouble. Just look at how dependence on the feds for disaster relief and approvals helped the gulf. Until recently all offers to help contain the mess were refused. States couldn't get permits to do things themselves in many cases.

Too good a crisis not to let get out of control first. That's how it works when you put all your trust in the most corrupt institution ever conceived by man---people having authority over others, and the means to use force to ensure that power hierarchy. Many groups are so steeped in ignorance, petty greed, class envy and false sense of power that they willingly give up every real right thinking they are gaining security and wealth. Useful idiots.

Live free or die. That's how it works, figuratively or literally.

Confidence Lost; worse than the mind

It has occurred to me that I tend to lose all confidence in my ability to view and recognize reality, and often, my ability to do anything. This is stupid. It shows that the beat downs of life have not been shrugged off yet, going way back.

So many times I will be dealing with some task or effort, thinking "I don't know if I can", then I get fed up and just think, "screw that, do it!" and I do. Sometimes that angry push does not kick in, and I do not do whatever. The point is that the confidence, when there is well founded, and the doubt can sabotage the deal.

There are those who have a false sense of confidence--nothing backing it up. I do not want to be that. Being too steeped in self doubt is just as bad. Two sides of ignoring reality.

Just thinking, that's all. Playing a clean single note version of the national anthem on diatonic harmonica, with no mistakes should not be that tough. Only one awkward bend. However, it is a tough one to get perfect.

Time to Grow..

RICH.

OK. What I do is fun, you get high without realizing it, and not many people bother you. There are birds chirping, flowers blooming, and the general ambiance of the work place is like a very peaceful rest home with no one around.

However, if I am to make enough money to keep alive in the future, collect trophies of various types, and achieve the freedom I seek, I must do more with my life.

If you were any kind of friends you'd suggest directions I could take which would yield satisfaction, a fortune, and generally soothe my restless soul. In what way could I employ my many unidentifiable talents toward this end?

Winning suggestion gets 9.2% of my future net profit for three (yes, 3!!) years.

Out in East County

Here's a sample of the sort of emails you get in this neighborhood:

subject: rattlesnake vaccinations

For those neighbors who had th first of two rattlesnake vaccines for your dog at the fork in the road, we’ll be able to administer #2 of the vaccine on Saturday, July 3 at 8am at the fork in the road. The vet who was due to be here two weeks ago has had a family emergency, but he has passed the serum on to Lori ...

It goes on to explain that the vet who shot up the dogs last time and can't make it, passed the dope on to Lori* and some chick* who is a veterinarian tech student who will be able to do the job. At The Fork In The Road, of course. That is where the long dirt road which winds its way up here by means of several switchbacks divides into two parts; the one which goes straight and the one that curves left past my abode.

*It is assumed that everyone knows Lori and the other dame. I have no idea who they are. I'm not part of the inner circle and the cool clique here, obviously

My question is this: If dogs can get a vaccine ahead of time, why can't humans? and..what would be the side effects? If it is merely slurred speech, I can see why dogs wouldn't care. I bet they shouldn't operate heavy machinery.

I've seen several flyers out this way, at the Descanso post office, and in Alpine, for classes to teach your dog not to play with rattlesnakes. I feel ignorant. No one taught me anything about how to be rattler savvy. Between bears and rattlesnakes, I'm wondering if I should be re-thinking this life as Western Man.

So, if one brings me coffee can we be friends?

In California, Anything is Possible

The figure below is life size, at least. That is assuming a man with a bull's head would still be the same size. I think it may be a statue of one of the people who employ me. The one I've never met. I met his girlfriend. She is an interesting sort--writes porn for women type stories. Apparently has a publisher and gets paid. With his money she wouldn't need to get paid much.



It's there at the entrance so you know who you are dealing with before you enter. I'm not sure if he is always there in the buff, however stranger things have happened in CA. Given the fact he does lots of business in Arab countries, I wonder how his appearance strikes them, especially if he goes around like that. People are probably careful about calling him on his BS. I wonder if he has ever gored anyone.

I do find the most unusual people, and I don't even try. It just happens.

Another Day Out of the Fog

Praise be, and pbuh, etc. You don't really miss some things until they return, then you realize what you were missing. That's they way the mind is.

The difference is astounding. Every task I performed today seemed accomplished with so much more clarity and awareness. I did not have to strain to monitor every move just to be sure I wasn't about to throw a can of paint in the pool, or cross two lanes of traffic with cars beside me. For the last six weeks to varying degrees I've had to triple and quadruple check every move, or most it seems.

That cannot be right. Whatever the deal, it was delightful to feel so much more aware and on the ball. I fear it may be a cycle and that I may have entered a new era. Maybe yes, maybe no. At least I know if I get fogged in, the wheel is likely to come back around and things will change.

In other irrelevant news, the tourmobile is ready for its first long haul road trip. All we need is the money to do it and off we go. I may add an after burner, turbo charger, and maybe some sort of rocket boost, just to speed things up in case I leave under time constraints. If someone would pay me a few thou real quick just for being, then I could go while it is still warm in Taos and CO, and I'd include them as well as points south I have in mind. Got relatives and such in the great state of Texas so that is the number one priority for a visit. Everything else is subject to factors too numerous and unknown to list.

All of a Sudden I Don't Feel Comatose

For the last month, at least, I felt progressively brain dead. Moreso than usual. Way more. It was exhausting in an odd way. This one was new. It wasn't like the traditional fog which waxes and wanes, although the symptoms of the relief when it lifted are reminiscent of the cycling syndrome of the past. I learned to ignore the highs and lows.

This time it seemed like whatever is in my brain was locked away. Just this weekend I realized I could not remember simple things like which side of the plate goes the fork? Now I know, and that sounds silly. It is just an example, but something that bothered me because it is a thing I know and can normally picture from experience. That scared me a little.

Then today my senses slowly returned. I feel almost clear. By the end of the day I realized my head was no longer filled with molasses. It is quite an extraordinary thing when relief comes, and you can't even put a label on what is being relieved. I'll bet my IQ is now back up to that of a human. For awhile there I felt that snails were outwitting me and making fun of my slow mental capacities, behind my back of course. Snails are sneaky cowards and totally lacking in compassion.

Whatever was going on, I hope that is the last of it, or at least the last of experiencing that degree of inability to connect with my brain. Maybe I have been too exposed to fumes of various varieties. I finally removed some things from my car which gave it a fumey aspect when the windows were up. There could be a correlation. I wouldn't want to think it was an actual organic malfunction.

Time, once again, to stop sniffing glue.

Relief is a recurring theme in my life. I am always thrilled when it happens, and I often am in situations which weigh me down or wear me out, then comes the salvation and relief. It is not always related to being temporarily out of touch with my normal thought process. Some of those times were rather dark. The beginning of relief is usually pretty clear cut. Getting out of that pit I was in before leaving Memphis was a huge deal. I remember the night it turned the corner and starting moving in the right direction. It took about a year to get out after that. I was in deep. That was a huge relief. A gift.

This time I don't have to become cautious due to feeling unreasonably euphoric. That last episode was something different. It may be good I don't have easy access to the medical world. I am pretty sure I'd be undergoing a zillion tests and taking pills, and not feeling better in the long run. If you ask, the medical world will do their best to fix whatever bothers you, even if you'd be better off just dealing with it without chemical, or other, intervention.

Not everyone is better off without pills and such. I am, unless something new crops up. It took doing the rounds to figure that out. A lot of years. At least I have hard evidence which proves I don't imagine these foggy periods. That is worth more than any treatment I ever had for it. I just don't like it when the slo-mo periods change their nature. Then you worry that something new is in the mix. Unless things became really serious it is best just to ride it out I think.

If most drugs were legal and you could get what you felt you need over the counter, I might use some ritalin or the like temporarily in a fog like I had. And it would harm no one. Not worth the time and trouble to mess with the industry for it. Should be legal--even cocaine, and opium. They have their place is you don't become an addict. I see no reason a doctor has more rights to decide what I buy than I do. Indirectly, it is actually the government deciding what you can choose for yourself. It would be a lot cheaper to bypass all the middle men.

So, there you have it. I would decriminalize possession of any drug by an adult. Now, being hazardous by driving or whatever is a matter for peace keepers. I doubt you'd have any more issue with blitzed fools making trouble than you do now. People fear freedom. They are convinced the Lord of the Manor knows best. Unevolved souls; they just can't let go of the feudal system. Willing slaves of the state who are convinced the rest of humanity is incapable of making their own decisions. Always a rationalization for fear of freedom. Always has something to do with the hypothetical greater good.