Degenerative Evolution

When people make excuses for ill informed hate peddlers you have to wonder what is going on. My take is that more and more, people are incapable of understanding and applying universal principles in the realm of human events. Human, not Black Power, White Power, Girl Power, or Gay power.

The insanity that comes of condescension and elitist reasoning leads ultimately to hatred, frustration and violence. That is because such patronization assumes the ignorant will and should remain so. Pretending intellectual dadaism is brilliant thought does not make it so. It is cruel, in a way, to feed such things in order to foster a false sense of self worth. In the end it is dangerous and destructive. Look around and you see the product of such arrogance.

Deep down, people know when they are being given what is not earned, when those who can credit them with skills they don't possess, creativity which is devoid of substance. Sometimes that knowledge is so far down that they almost believe the lie themselves. The inner conflict created leads the dupe to resent those who give him the unearned status of thinker, artist, social guru, whatever the case may be.

This way of things has come full circle. The big pretense has now given rise to ever growing racism. KKK, the New Black Panthers, and a host of other idiots who band together to hate everyone else because they can't deal with their own inadequacies. Pretending to have a just cause, to be victims and threatened leads to the attitude that any act against "the other" is justified, right and holy. It is a far easier road than just legitimately getting by and taking responsibility for one's self.

There's usually an element of truth in the complaints, and a large amount of fiction, faulty logic and refusal to apply a principle uniformly. It is all about power over others. People who do not believe in wielding power over others are not that vulnerable to such sickness. Those who would embrace such power, no matter how it is achieved, are very vulnerable to joining in lockstep with any activity which promotes a culture based on condition of birth rather than merit. Some relatively intelligent people can't resist that. It shows a smallness of character to think in terms of promoting the politics of gender race or sexual proclivity.

If one actually believes freedom of choice is the logical, natural path toward the best human condition then he/she is not going to be pushing the politics of ethnicity, or sex. Either everyone has the same right to choose his path, live life according to personal choice (as long as those choices don't prevent others from doing the same), or else they don't have that right. If they don't then you can't very well claim that is a free society. Those people are not free.

Watching the cracker haters burn the flag, and similar groups spout their complaints, it is clear that racists breed racists, and they love nothing more than to get like minded idiots in other groups to react. Coddling any of these is not the job of government, and will lead to more of these calls to violence toward people based on race and ethnicity. The fact that these people do not represent any significant number of the group they say they are saving gets lost. I think that is because those in power find these creeps useful in their never ending thirst for power, and search for excuses to grab more power in the name of protecting us.

I'm not sure if the best approach is to ignore these people or beat the piss out of them every time they make a public spectacle of themselves. Maybe some degree of both approaches. I do not think trying to reason with hate groups is worth the time. They are not reasonable people. They want attention and power. When they see they have neither and that people recognize tolerance of differing viewpoints does not include tolerating calls for hate crimes, maybe they will settle for robbing banks or exercising their cowardly hate in some other way.

Just a theory. Thinking they would ever honestly look at the truth is too much to expect. If they did, they'd not be doing what they do.

Hearting Iota of a Cracker

Some people hate crackers. Every iota of a cracker, as a matter of fact. If everyone felt that way, those little elves that make them would be out of work. Is it Keebler that hires them?


I like crackers. And elves. All kinds of crackers; the round brown ones, wheat, ever popular and controversial soda cracker, those fancy ones that better hosts than myself put out when you come over. I'm not so fond of the ones with too much onion or whatever that is in them, which precludes me from saying I love every iota of a cracker, bar none.

Now, in my life I have loved every iota of some crackers, and savored their every flavor and substantive nuance. Mmm, mmm, those were some fine crackers.

Crackers are good for a lot of things, adding interest to salads and soups, providing a place to lay a slab of cheese or slather of peanut butter---lots of things. Those who hate every iota of a cracker perhaps suffer from an allergy, or maybe they are just the closed minded type who haven't really approached crackers with an open honest mind free of preconceptions. Perhaps it is a religious matter, or they never acquired the taste. I think for most people it is not one of those acquired taste items, they like crackers from day one.

Without crackers, I hate to think what the world would be like. Sure, there are some stale ones, and ones like I described with odd spices and flavors that ruin the whole experience. In the main, however, crackers just work for me. I like to get my mouth on them, lick the salty skin, and sort of tease those crevices before devouring them.

Graham crackers almost aren't even crackers but they are quite a treat sometimes. You can melt marshmallows on them and create all kinds of delectable desert/snacks. Cover them with melted chocolate--chocolate graham crackers, now that's a fine mix. The marshmallow works with that too. They are easy that way. Also they are fine just plain raw, right out of their
wrapper.

I'm no cracker fanatic, but I do believe they are sometimes quietly under rated. I like crackers. That's all their is to it. Fun to lick and fun to eat!

Not everyone feels as I do.
This man threatened gunplay when someone tried to bring crackers into his house.

"I hate every iota of a cracker!"

Just at the sight of them he launched into an angry tirade, threatening to kill the crackers.

There are foods I don't like, but I've never felt the need to kill such substances. I'm not sure how you know a dead cracker from a live one anyway. Perhaps one that has been demolished by gunshot would be considered a dead cracker.

His allergy must be severe. If not that, then I'd say he was overreacting just a bit.

It would be interesting to see his reaction to Cracker Jacks.

I better get dipped in white wash

From a news source (hey, they get by saying 'a source', so can I):

One of the less-publicized measures in the new health-care law, the tax imposes a 10 percent surcharge on the use of ultraviolet indoor tanning beds.

Supporters -- including the Obama administration, congressional Democrats and dermatologists -- have argued that the tax will raise an estimated $2.7 billion toward the cost of expanding health coverage to the uninsured, while discouraging a practice that increases the risk of skin cancer by as much as threefold in frequent users, according to scientific research.
(scientific research is another of those terms which may or may not really mean anything. I'd venture to say that less fair skinned people who wouldn't use tanning beds anyway probably were counted as a portion of the control group. Not even relevant, though. This is edging closer and closer to totalitarian rule. )

I can only hope they don't decide to tax anyone whose skin has darkened from exposure to rays from the sun. Some of us just naturally tend to darken. It is inconceivable that in America you would be charged a special tanning tax. Regardless how i, or anyone, feels about tanning by black light, it is not something that rates a monetary penalty. Allowing taxes to vary by product as we have on many items, is a big mistake. It leads to taxing behavior not considered worthy by the ruling elite and it leads to purposely hurting businesses not in favor of the governing nitwits.

We are not going the right direction here. The degree of control and oppression modern technology allows is unprecedented which makes deviating from strict limits and consistent application of taxes and law all the more dangerous. More than ever before. Doesn't prevent some from refusing to accept and conform, though. Too many just don't get it. Maybe they never will. Maybe they will just be bewildered when they realize the things they thought did not affect them set the stage for policies that will step on their lives.

Post 23 for the day:Self Improvement Program-save the misfit

OK. Rule number 1 is to form a concept of the desired lifestyle and quality of life one thinks is right for him/her/it
Rule 2: from now on attempt to use "it" as the universal pronoun, noun, whatever. Who can be offended or twist that?

In picturing what the desired life circumstance should be, I can't go too far or get overly detailed, or overly general. Very tricky.
Those who have the sort of life continuity that has yielded generally gratifying results don't need to make such conscious effort to plot tomorrow as it has apparently become a habit already to take the proper steps.

The misfits among us have not all figured out how to find their fit, hence the tag, "misfit". That would be where I place myself at this time. Some people think I like that role. I really don't in most respects. Not conforming in some ways does not bother me, especially when I am acting upon the firmly embraced portion of my value system. Also, it is the birthright of any individual not to conform in any way which does not step on the natural rights of others.

I'm addressing issues which have nothing to do with others per se. In order to better the world around you, the best place to start is with your own world. I believe that to be true. If my affairs are in disarray how can I think to decide how you run your life?

My goal is to have not much clutter around me, be able to use the resources I have, both tangible and intangible, and the nerve to pursue the efforts which I think could bring in some wealth. (In my world, wealth includes any income, not just big money). There are tools, materials, half started projects, objects and whatnots buried in boxes, piles, and hidden all over the place in my junk. It is daunting to think I used to possess so much more in the way of material goods, and bads. Hard to recall when my stuff was under my control and not run amok as it is now.

So, I think in order to move forward in a positive way I must deal with the tedium and whatever it is that plagues me when facing items that may bring feelings and memories of the past. Get over it. I need that ex drill sergeant therapist from the GEICO commercial. It is meant as a joke, and is funny, but I think his approach would probably work better than most.

So, goal one is to not live in a state of material chaos. This has plagued me on and off for decades. And I've blabbed the same blabber about it.

Alright, once it is put in better order, then I will put the toe in the water---begin projects 1, 2, and 4; all of which have been clearly defined but I do not want to list in detail. None of these excludes the other. They can be done more or less concurrently.

A byproduct goal is to provide an example and chronicle of success in converting a middle aged male hermit lone wolf life, of one who cannot afford to be old yet, into one filled with zest zeal and zoom, and a healthy degree of accomplishment. In the process perhaps some service to others will also result. Balance between work, play, spirit and whatever else their is will somehow be achieved. Once that is in place, I'll be set to participate when some state opts out of the union, or fighting for freedom becomes a stark reality. I'm a born freedom fighter.

Being free is the proper spiritual condition of the human being. Being part of an ant colony run by the queen* is not.

*a euphemism for any ruling elite; man woman, child, corporate entity, racist organizations, unions or religious institution.

Shake Rattle and Roll on Ballistic Mountain!

Holy smoke. This is one earthquake/aftershock I felt.

Just now the ground under the cabin was rumbling and the cottage was shaking back and forth. Like having a vibrating bed, sort of. The cottage didn't dislodge from its pilings and roll down the hill, but the event did get my attention. I've felt several smaller tremors over time. This was the first that really seemed to move significantly. It was short of the intensity that would break windows and make standing up impossible, but not too far short of that.

I wonder where it started and if there was more going on elsewhere. Life on earth--it is not a balanced, static thing. Rather than "balance of nature", the term should be "imbalance of nature". It is never really in balance so things naturally move to fill voids and things somewhat seek a natural equilibrium, but that static state is never reached and never will be. This is a fact that eludes many enthusiasts who think nature left alone would be like a Bambi animation.

Nature will kick your ass every chance it gets. Worshipping the earth will not appease it or turn predators into vegetarians or philanthropists. The only thing as sure to mess with good people as is nature is government; and those who partner with it to serve their own ends.

I'd rather deal with natural assaults from the earth than the intrusive nonsense people support through unnecessary, complicated, thieving, overreaching laws and rules.

UPDATE: It was a 5.9 centered about 20-25 miles northeast of here, something like 7 miles down. Rock n roll

From Now On

The recurring theme in the life of the misplaced vagabond, and one whose domestic tranquility is checkered with lack of continuity and reasonable commitment, is rebirth. Like or not such an individual is forever faced with the prospect of starting over in one way or another.

Old ways and habits obviously achieve only the same unsettling results. Some aspects of beginning anew may be in place, but I find there are nagging habits that sabotage the benefits of new surroundings and activities. The most glaring of these is that I have to bring me along and I tend to run from myself, like someone attempting to elude his own shadow.

The difficulty is purely self made as near as I can tell. Much of it is born of self doubt at crucial times. Why anyone would allow such nonsense to plague his enjoyment of life s a mystery. Personal history shows that when I act on what I think is possible without seeking the approval from others or basing my judgement upon whether someone else thinks it is a good idea, I do OK. That doesn't apply to ill conceived stupidity, but those schemes are usually fairy obvious and, long ago, were the stuff of a mind soaked in mind altering, numbing substance.

Giving in to the immaturity which sees the materials that surround me as insurmountable mountains of clutter and confusion is to believe lie. If they could clean up the mess of the destruction of the Twin Towers in NYC, then anything can be straightened out and put in order. And I'd rather do it of my own volition and gumption than have to have Rudy Gulliani come supervise and direct. Of course, I'd rather supervise than do the dirty work myself.

As usual, everything I need, I actually have. I'm a little sick of the involuntary balking. I think it comes from my early training which associates sharp pain with initiative. Old story and not unique. It happens. The adult is supposed to replace all that with his own set of rules.

The last thing I did, which I wouldn't have changed even if everyone I knew told me it was crazy, was the big move and meandering journey West. Somehow it felt right from first thought and that was my purpose for living until it came to pass. It did take a long time to actually get things stored and gone and get on the road, but I did it. I'm glad I did.

Now I see I did not carry out phase two of that scheme which was to remain organized and focussed so I could begin certain projects and endeavors once I landed in the proper place. It is all part of how to not accept defeat, no matter how much the past has been botched, no matter how one managed to facilitate the breaking of his own heart. Dramatic, I know, but applicable nonetheless.

When you think abut it, you'd be surprised how many times you hurt the feelings of others when you are steeped in the contemplation of your own emotional confusion and pain. It's the way of women; they crush you then you realize you managed to wound their feelings, too. Nothing is worse than feeling like you made a woman sadder for the experience. If only I knew then what I know now. But skittish as I am now I probably would never have got to the point of Hello.

No matter how you slice it, even if the border patrol concludes you are an alien, but not the sort they know what to do with, all there is now and what comes next. From now on. If the rest is not put in constructive perspective then memory is a wasted asset, and history repeats, especially the parts that were no fun.

I mention the border patrol because of my recent encounter. There are a couple of places that are like trailheads; parking areas where you can hang out, go hike bike, or ride horses off into the wilderness. Sometimes I go there just to get away from everything. Often there are no other cars or people around and the scenery is good. It is a place to think and generally be incommunicado. Also to occasionally smoke since that habit has yet to be crushed forever.

Yesterday I was at a place and the Border Patrol thought I looked suspicious. They quizzed me and with every question, my answers seemed to confuse them further. Some guy, alone, sitting there for no good reason just did not compute. Then when the guy asked about my work it just puzzled him more. He was not used to vagabonds and at large individuals without title official employer or other people in tow, unless of course they just hopped the border without proper authorization.

On top of that I guess it confused him further when I asked how he felt about the cases of Campean and Ramos in that Johnny Sutton mess. He did allow that the agents did not like it. That did not seem to solve his internal puzzling over what kind of individual is such a loner that he would come sit in the middle of nowhere to maybe smoke and contemplate what to do next.


Many who believe in such things applaud the influx of illegals for their propensity to take car pooling to levels rarely seen

I did let him know I was thinking of picking up some of the litter which appeared to be the refuse left by illegal transients. It had been there for more than a week and I figured it would remain unless someone like me just carted it off. I had an extra plastic bag in the car so why not? (I did pick up most of the trash after they were out of sight)

By the time he ran my info and asked his questions he seemed afraid to ask anything more because he did not want to hear any more answers that just confused him further. It was funny. If ever anyone looked at me like they truly believed I was an alien from another planet, it was that border patrol agent. The exchange was civil and polite.

Finally, he and his buddy locked up there car and he informed me they were "going for a hike". I think that is lingo for wandering down the trail into the woods looking for illegal ne'er do wells. I gave them my blessing and that was that.

Agent #2 quickly realized I was too confusing to be a comfortable interview and that I was not what they were looking for so he ambled off about fifty feet away on the other side of their car and just sort of walked around in little circles. He knows the sort of alien than doesn't fall into the category they deal with when he sees one.

The thing about illegals is that they litter like crazy, start fires, and are often up to no good. There are plenty who mean no harm.

Not the same trashed layup site but similar


What the news, Obama, and much of the country doesn't get is that border citizens do not have a racial bias toward mexicans, or even a callous attitude toward the wetbacks. They probably also don't realize that a huge portion of border patrol agents are Hispanic. My pal was. Most I see are. Another case where politics dictates the public be fed lies to solidify a voting block and keep the deals with drug cartels and corrupt governments in place. Openly racist outfits like LaRaza, who want what is not theirs and seek power and special privilege, twist facts and perpetuate complete lies to make life easier for violent gangs and perpetuate the propaganda that serves their selfish, somewhat criminal ends.

If LaRaza thinks they should own California and other states, then they need to cede plenty of territory to those conquered by the Aztecs. The logic and truth of the matter does not support their complaints if you apply the logic all the way through. And the states they want would go back to all kinds of cultures which would exclude any Spanish Aztec mix and LaRaza--the Mexican race created by the mingling of Spanish and Aztec, and other indigenous cultures of the time--- would have no claim on anything. Nothing but a hate group using half truths to foster anger, resentment and grab undeserved power.

Why is no one focussing on the policies and and abuse in Mexico that makes people desperate to leave? It is not a nationa without resources which couldn't enjoy a much easier standard of living than it does. This is not the fault of the USA. It is the fault of their own corruption.

on second thought

The national anthem should be left to pros. I didn't really botch it, not like Rozanne Barr, but it was kind of lame. One thing I noticed in reviewing the FLIP recordings is that Presbyterians like to keep the sound very flat and thin. In the monitors it sounded as if they gave a hint of the delay I requested but, in reality, there was none to speak of, and the vocals had no reverb at all. Since the place is acoustically dead, the presence was just not there. May as well use megaphones if the P.A. has no body to it.

Our own (Kevin's) PA system gives far better sound, at least how we have it set up. Besides not generally having faith in strangers on sound boards, I double don't trust churches. Sorry, I just don't, even when they are nice. The average sound guy at most venues is not very flexible when it comes to adapting to what works for any group different from whatever he is used to. Or she. I forget that they now teach you to say he/she instead of using a universal pronoun from the old days. So sexist and abusive toward women. Right. Need to come up with some word. I'd be fine with using "it". How have words like person and human survived? perSON, huMAN,. Awful. I haven't encountered a sound lady yet. Maybe that's the trouble. Although I doubt it matters what the individual is packing in its pants.

Today I was freaking out over the degree of underachievement I've accomplished in my life. When it comes to underachieving I am an overachiever. Perhaps the experts who felt the tools were all in place were wrong, and the best I could ever do is nothing. I think many family and friends would say "Oh, he's a bit 'different', but really something--- if you can get past 'that'". Some actually have said that. Obviously, I greatly resent that. However, it does not change the ledger of life a bit. I'm turning in an empty sheet year after year, and I am becoming bothered by it.

One thing for sure, you can be a complete twit, and creep, and pretty much an idiot and make money, achieve security, power, maybe even a trophy spouse/concubine or two. That much I have seen with my own eyes. So, there must be something more to achieving than brains, personality or general wit. If you don't need brains or personality or wit, I can qualify, yet the other ingredients elude me, I suspect because I lack those things. Maybe it is the willingness to succeed. Maybe I am too lazy, and unwilling to face the responsibility that comes with it. Or maybe I am incapable of better due to internal wiring and genetic disposition.

Some are born to sweet delight
some are born to endless night*

I hope it isn't just a case of the latter and there is no way out.

I should be happy. Few people would have survived this long living my life. It was only very odd coincidences and unexplained events that kept me from being killed more than once---way more than once. I still wonder at a couple of those escapes from certain destruction. And I made it west to a completely new life, more friends, and very true splendid friends at that. It is myself that leaves me disappointed, not my friends. That is one thing I don't feel---that friends will let you down. They usually exceed expectations. Only when people maliciously deceive is it a big issue, and they aren't friends. I've not had that for a long time now.

I'll bet some endeavor which would qualify as worthy achievement is possible, even for me. What, I am not sure. If sleep counted, I could be a smashing success if I put my mind to it.

*wm blake; auguries of innocence

Presbyterian Church Orgy a Senior Food Fest

Not everyone was older than I am, but a comforting majority were. We played well, and the acoustics were that of a busy cafeteria, although the sound man was fairly conscientious for a 15 year old. Actually, he was better than many I've seen. Certainly more amiable than the guy at BB Kings in Memphis, and less nauseatingly cool than the one at Sun studio.

No one is up there with the guy at the Arkansas Blues heritage festival, formerly known as the King Biscuit Flour Hour Blues fest. Give the kid his due; surrounded by Presbyterians in a food frenzy, most of whom were peers of his grandparents and great grandparents.

Soon into the solo rendition on diatonic blues harp of the National Anthem all in the room were completely silent and standing, hands over hearts. I played it almost as clean as I wanted and without noticeable error. I was hoping to produce something that would invoke a slight air of drama while remaining simple and not stylized. A reverent statement of respect for the good in the conception and growth of my country.

It does not go easy to realize that I rarely envision current culture and trends as part of the underlying philosophy which allowed our land to become a significant part of the map.

The vocals and performance of the rest of the group were excellent. I think they had as much fun as I did. Later we spent the late afternoon on a deck overlooking the bay at my friends' newly rebuilt house. A more perfect place to spend Independence Day, I cannot imagine.

Soon enough the guitars came out and we played some more. I had to play the Star Spangled Banner Twice more. The last time was become a couple of their friends who are well connected in the state department showed up. It was by request which surprised me plenty. Who would think that I have probably never been asked to play something so much ever.

The bizarre point of the day was when some guy at the church orgy tried to request Peter Paul and Mary tunes. He asked if we play "If I Had a Hammer and I just gave him a flat "No". I'm way more touchy about requests than most people. If it is a friend who knows me, or a free form jam, I can be flexible, but generally I just don't do requests. Get a juke box. I'd have been more fond of the guy had he asked for "Melancholy Baby".

From our vantage point we could see all the fireworks in the area. In San Diego, they coordinate five or so launch points so that each sends up the same displays simultaneously. I could see everything from Shelter Island to Imperial Beach--a stone's throw from Tijuana. It was a day full of hard core, good natured banter and fantastic friends. I probably made an ass of myself, and I was the only one in most of the city who was stone cold sober. They had me laughing so hard I didn't know the difference. I cannot imagine how I would have behaved if I was drinking.

Much of the show was recorded, but the sound may not have come through very well. We'll see. A few times when the guitar player did a solo song or one with his wife, I was able to go out to see how it was. Some areas were almost dead zones, Most of the time, in a place which has its own set up, you can nitpick the acoustics and the sound. That is the name of the game. You just do the best you can, adapt, and realize your little performance is not going to change the course of history anyway.

I was, however thinking of becoming a professional national anthem player, with visions of being driven from stadium to stadium playing the Star Spangled Banner for every sporting event in town. At 100 or so a pop, I could make a decent living. Already, between practice and actually doing it for those who asked, I can probably play it in my sleep. Wouldn't surprise me if I end up doing just that.

I use a harmonica in the key of G (in case you want to try this dangerous stunt at home) because it is in the lowest range, pitch-wise of all the standard harmonicas of this type. Seems to have the best quality for what we wanted. I tried a couple of others in practice and everyone voted for the G. I am still happy I did not blow it and that they had faith I would do OK. My own certainty was inconsistent in that regard.

When I opened my eyes during the thing and saw all those people standing, it made me more sure I would pull it off. I do better under that sort of circumstance. What a relief. I was more nervous before this show than is normal for me. But during it, we were all quite relaxed.

I won't look on youtube to see who does it better on bluesharp. The real last word on that tune is uttered by the Cactus Cuties out of Texas. A group of little girls who absolutely blow me away with their performance of that song.

and a year or so later, I think. I'm a fan of that group

Safety, I Get. Something about the official approach hits a nerve

On the radio, they seem to be waiting with bated breath for the first death of the holiday. It is kind of macabre, the way every news report includes talk of how many hours we are into the July 4th weekend, how many predicted fatalities, how many died last year, what police are doing to keep you in line, how many drunks have been arrested, etc. I can't quite put my finger on what bothers me.

It does bother me that so many people think they have to go out and be idiots on the road. It also puzzles me that those appear t go unnoticed by law enforcement, except at road blocks if they get nailed for being drunk. I'd think the most effective road blocks would be right there where people drink. Most of the bars are close together in places where drunks typically drive through store windows and restaurants.

That is another unusual thing I notice about California--people regularly drive through the walls restaurants. I rarely recall this happening in other places I've lived. Maybe it is how things are laid out, but it doesn't seem so different than elsewhere. You have a better chance getting offed in a fast food joint by a speeding zombie than getting struck by lightening or winning the lotto in SoCal.

I can only hope that CA Highway Patrol and the media are disappointed. They sound as if they want fatalities so they can admonish the public and excuse further intrusive tactics. If I had no obligation to play, I think I'd not drive this weekend. Holiday crowds are not a thrill to me. Unless, of course, I'm on stage and the lunatics are there to hear us play. Then I am all for lunatics crowding in.

Did You Know

-that some detergents do not get your whites whiter than white

-that the hair on your legs moves to your nostrils and ears over time

-there is almost no way to dispose of rubbish, cleaning fluids, oil, or anything else in California

-well made corn liquor in the Blue Ridge Mountains is probably the best alcoholic beverage on earth

-bull sharks sometimes can tolerate fresh water and go up river in India and bite off arms

-some people try to make vegetarians of their pet dogs

-