I Want To Play McGonagall in The Movie

A movie based on the life of William Topaz McGonagall (self described poet and tragedian) could be a great flick. He would be a blast to play. People paid to hear his recitations for the humor and generally bizarre content and delivery. Had he not had an intensely serious aspect, the humor would not be there.

It is suspected that he may have actually been putting people on, but there is little hint that he ever got caught out of character. One article I read suggested that he may have glorified people and ideas in a way that actually made the opposite case. He never showed any signs of not being very serious and sincere, but that made some of it even more farcical.

My favorite story about him is the one describing his first foray on stage. He managed to play the role of Macbeth but when he was supposed to be run through with a sword he refused to go down, wildly flailing about with his sword until the other actor finally tackled him to make him go down.

Other performances of Shakespearean characters involved him becoming so animated with sword play that all the others ran off the stage and even some in the orchestra sought refuge under chairs or ran to a safe distance.

His history and writings are hilarious. It is still hard to figure out if he was a totally sincere lunatic, or a genius. Times were tough and had he not been such an outrageous character no one would have paid for his entertainment.

I love the part about being in a play and deciding he didn't want his character to die without a real life fight.

His efforts to get the Queen to name him Poet Laureate involve more bizarre and hilarious adventure. Why no one has made this movie, I do not know, but it could be the best period piece to come out in many years, maybe ever.

Public Service Message Re: Demon Drink

With all the wine promoting I've done, I feel the responsible thing to do is offer this warning, written by William McGonagall. There is no way I could match his simple elegance and deep insight.

First a bit of a bio on Bill:
William Topaz McGonagall, poet and tragedian of Dundee, has been widely hailed as the writer of the worst poetry in the English language..

A self-educated hand loom weaver from Dundee, he discovered his discordant muse in 1877 and embarked upon a 25 year career as a working poet, delighting and appalling audiences across Scotland and beyond.

(apparently references to Home Rule in the following masterpiece are referring to Ireland-)



The Demon Drink
Oh, thou demon Drink, thou fell destroyer;
Thou curse of society, and its greatest annoyer.
What hast thou done to society, let me think?
I answer thou hast caused the most of ills, thou demon Drink.

Thou causeth the mother to neglect her child,
Also the father to act as he were wild,
So that he neglects his loving wife and family dear,
By spending his earnings foolishly on whisky, rum and beer.

And after spending his earnings foolishly he beats his wife-
The man that promised to protect her during life-
And so the man would if there was no drink in society,
For seldom a man beats his wife in a state of sobriety.

And if he does, perhaps he finds his wife fou',
Then that causes, no doubt, a great hullaballo;
When he finds his wife drunk he begins to frown,
And in a fury of passion he knocks her down.

And in that knock down she fractures her head,
And perhaps the poor wife she is killed dead,
Whereas, if there was no strong drink to be got,
To be killed wouldn't have been the poor wife's lot.

Then the unfortunate husband is arrested and cast into jail,
And sadly his fate he does bewail;
And he curses the hour that ever was born,
And paces his cell up and down very forlorn.

And when the day of his trial draws near,
No doubt for the murdering of his wife he drops a tear,
And he exclaims, "Oh, thou demon Drink, through thee I must die,"
And on the scaffold he warns the people from drink to fly,

Because whenever a father or a mother takes to drink,
Step by step on in crime they do sink,
Until their children loses all affection for them,
And in justice we cannot their children condemn.

The man that gets drunk is little else than a fool,
And is in the habit, no doubt, of advocating for Home Rule;
But the best Home Rule for him, as far as I can understand,
Is the abolition of strong drink from the land.

And the men that get drunk in general wants Home Rule;
But such men, I rather think, should keep their heads cool,
And try and learn more sense, I most earnestlty do pray,
And help to get strong drink abolished without delay.

If drink was abolished how many peaceful homes would there be,
Just, for instance in the beautiful town of Dundee;
then this world would be heaven, whereas it's a hell,
An the people would have more peace in it to dwell

Alas! strong drink makes men and women fanatics,
And helps to fill our prisons and lunatics;
And if there was no strong drink such cases wouldn't be,
Which would be a very glad sight for all christians to see.

O admit, a man may be a very good man,
But in my opinion he cannot be a true Christian
As long as he partakes of strong drink,
The more that he may differently think.

But no matter what he thinks, I say nay,
For by taking it he helps to lead his brither astray,
Whereas, if he didn't drink, he would help to reform society,
And we would soon do away with all inebriety.

Then, for the sake of society and the Church of God,
Let each one try to abolish it at home and abroad;
Then poverty and crime would decrease and be at a stand,
And Christ's Kingdom would soon be established throughout the land.

Therefore, brothers and sisters, pause and think,
And try to abolish the foul fiend, Drink.
Let such doctrine be taught in church and school,
That the abolition of strong drink is the only Home Rule.


***my impression is that he was kissing up to the Crown whenever he could. But how can you fault his wisdom and logic regarding Demon Drink?****
You can go to the Wm Mc site and sign a petition for the Brits to put him on a stamp. I know most of us have no business petitioning the Royal Post, but it kind of makes me feel like I'm getting a taste of what it is like to make demands on foreign lands. That's all the rage these days...


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Sometimes Brits are hilarious.
Here's the petition to get Wm McGonagall his own stamp


To: Royal Mail
Julietta Elgar
Head of Special Stamps
Royal Mail
148 Old Street
LONDON
EC1V 9HQ

We the undersigned urge the Royal Mail to release a commemorative stamp to honour the memory of Scottish poet William Topaz McGonagall (1825-1902). Mr. McGonagall was an exemplar of optimism, having travelled on foot over fifty miles to petition Queen Victoria for the position of Poet Laureate, despite being unburdened with even the most basic understanding of fundamental poetic principles such as scansion. Nonetheless his poems, principal among them his masterwork “The Tay Bridge Disaster”, remain with us today, overshadowing the works of many more technically gifted poets of his time. His life stands as a testament to the irrepressible nature of the human spirit, and we ask you to make this gesture in celebration of the life of one of the greatest eccentrics Britain has ever known.

Sincerely,

The Undersigned


They have things on that site where they ask your country. They have all of North America under the British Empire heading. Then they have a category for "Other Colonies". Funny people there.

Product review; Jack's Juicer///and other

Lots of entries here. Starting Friday I have a project which will be a real push due to time limits. It will be a live-on-site-until-done operation so I doubt I will write much then. Not that it matters. The self indulgence of this sort of blog is mainly for me. Otherwise I'd be disappointed that millions don't read and enjoy or argue or otherwise react.

OK. The Jack LaLanne power juicer. I have the shiny one with lots of chrome and stainless steel, and black on top. What a wonderful gift that was.

In Memphis, at some point during the planning stage of my escape I bought a cheaper brand which worked OK. I felt it was wise to find ways to pump in some natural nutrition since energy was low and diet was bordering on malnutrition danger. It did the job but was not nearly as efficient and splendid as the Jack Juicer. I gave it to Photo Lady but I don't think she ever got the hang of it. I believe it induced fear, like if she were to try using a chain saw. Just not the power tool sort.

This juicer operates on a centrifugal set up that pulverizes what goes in, casting the juice through a metal screen and the pulp back into a hopper. There is not way to get 100% of the juice out of things this way, but it does a good job for the type of machine it is. I like it.



If you have ever seen the info-mercial for it you know that Mrs. Jack is the one doing all the hard selling. To put it bluntly, Mrs. Jack is about the money and speaks with forked tongue; she lies.

While Jack is trying to say how great he thinks it is that the machine uses an induction motor, she cuts him off claiming clean up "is a snap!". Big lie. It takes a few minutes to clean the thing up, and it is a process for which you develop a system. It is worth it, but definitely NOT "a snap!!".

Mrs. Jack also tries to suggest you can make all kinds of tasty treats from the left over pulp. That I would have to have proven to me before I believe it. I used it to make some kind of broth once and it was not tasty. Nothing else has come to mind. Supposedly you can make muffins or birthday cakes. I think she is just lying because she thinks the hard sell is the cool way to go.

It could be that the thing to do is dry the pulp in the sun, then spin the fibers into some sort of straw and make baskets. Whatever the case, Mrs. Jack earned my distrust for all she says with that "clean up is a snap!!" malarky.

The truth is, to get a better juicer you need to spend ten times as much for one of those things that uses a gear crush mechanism. Short of that, it is unlikely you can really do any better. It rates my recommendation, but only if you are a person who understands it won't clean itself, and you have to use some sense on what you jam in there because things can get stuck.

They rave about how you can put apples in whole, but some apples are too big for the inlet mouth. It will accommodate some apples whole, and many tomatoes as well. It ain't rocket science but I know how the public is, and if you take Mrs. Jack's word for it, you will be confused and disappointed. Jack, himself, tries to play it straight. But the man is 150 years old and his wife is bossy, so he can't get a word in edgewise on the commercial. Even so, you can trust Jack. Old as he is, he can still kick most our butts into next week.

In keeping with my last discussion about solving the problem of a life un-lived, I made a big batch of juice which included unknown green leafy things, celery, orange, yellow, red, and green peppers, cauliflower, spinach, lemon, apple, carrots, and tomato. I think that was all I included in this batch. I made enough for 3 days--one substantial glass per day. I drink the stuff right down, and actually like it. Others may find it is an acquired taste.

+++update: I just remembered that I put a bunch of broccoli in there, too. You'd be surprised how the apple and lemon make the stuff taste OK. People who don't want the sugar of the citrus or carrot use hot peppers to make the flavor less "earthy".+++

In any case, who cares about taste if a glass of something gives you more good stuff than you normally get in a week of your usual diet? That is my situation. I'm not much for sitting around eating a bunch of fruits and vegetables unless someone else fixes them and does so in a way that makes it taste good but not cooked to death.

You'd wonder what does a vegetarian eat then? Often nothing. Sometimes omelets or peanut butter sandwiches, maybe cheese, lots of corn tortillas, potato chips, cheese sandwiches--stuff like that. Any kind of nuts when they are in front of me.

Geez, who cares what you eat? I don't know I just felt a need to explain. No one cares so shut up. OK.

That was a little internal conversation. I know it is impolite to whisper among myself in public. Sorry.

Sudden Recall; vertigo, or what

I just now recalled some of my last gigs in Memphis. There had been a running battle over volume, me not wanting to wear a hat very often, etc.

On the volume front I remember that for the last six months or year of playing, I sometimes would suddenly become totally disoriented on stage and the sound would lose all structure in my mind. It would be alike just a bunch of disjointed noise and rhythms, and would make me dizzy and somewhat nauseous. Almost like a seizure or attack. I remember one time it happened there was a guy who wanted to sit in on harp so I put him up there and kept him there longer than he really wanted.

Then it happened at other gigs and I just continued to play from habit not really hearing or feeling any of it. No one seemed to notice because I guess I was in key and starting and stopping at the right time. But it was like operating on remote control. Very weird. I had to avoid much more playing in that environment for awhile.

I think they were too loud. It drove people out the door, I know. They still deny it, but how they can I do not know. More than one inn keeper and patron said we played well but way too loud on the guitars. Duh. That did not phase them.

Amazing. But I am more sensitive to noise than most people, and especially more sensitive to it than most electrified musicians. Good I got away from it before it caused a grand mal seizure, which it very well could have.

Now I think I would not have a problem. I'd like to sit in with a high powered band again sometime. Due to the precision and different techniques required to play with my mountain buddies I think I could do far better than ever in a blues/rock electric setting. Amplified harp setting. If I did it for any length of time though I might get those special ear plugs. To loud is hard on the ears.

Abstract Introspective Apologia Critique

Initially, I was pondering the course of events with an eye toward defining what permitted others to overcome what I apparently could not. Much of it was in the vein of the rich man/ poor man, good son/ bad son scenario. That proved somewhat fruitless, as I realized there are innate, organic factors which separate those who thrive from those who perish, regardless of external circumstances.

Naivete may be one such factor. I always assumed everyone was honest and knew of what they spoke. Those close to me who overcame many shared obstacles were never under such an illusion. They assumed that most of those around us were idiots or small minded schemers, and rightly so. The disparity between what they reasoned as true and what was put forth only strengthened their resolve. It served to cause me to believe my ability to reason and use logic must be greatly flawed.

As a result, much effort was aimed at somehow aligning my conclusions and attitudes with those which appeared to be well accepted by my peers. That was disastrous. Much like those who suddenly find themselves in new business positions and proceed according to what they think is the norm. They prove to be tyrants when in power because they really don't get it.

All that failed effort toward rectifying conflicting values led to purely angry resignation, and some edgy activities. Needless to say such a mindset does not lead to constructive outcomes.

For a minute there, I wanted to post an open letter apologizing to those I think I let down. Those whom I perceive as being less than proud to include me in their family tree. Then I think I would not have such a view, positions reversed, but how can one really be sure? If not for the extreme pain and desperation experienced, would I have the same compassion and insight that I have now toward those who fall off the edge of the normal life path? Doubtful.

So, no open letter explaining how terrible I feel for being a let down and disappointment. And no letter vowing to make from now on a better more constructive process. The wish to change everything and the actual doing are worlds away, and that gap is not so easily bridged.

I cringe any time I hear a person expressing their disgust with a wayward brother or relative who seems to flounder about in unhappy chaos rather than thrive; who seems unable to make good use of the special consideration and generosity of well wishers. That is frightening close to who I am, and have been since the age of 12 or 13. In my defense, I was not always in the position of authority over those choices. Some of the glaring cases of turning my back on opportunity were due to family restrictions forbidding such things.

But later cases were merely my own autopilot at work, continuing such ignorant negation, as if an internal guidance system felt an insane loyalty to the powers that used to be. Good thing I was sedated through most of that so my mind did not explode from the internal conflict. That conflict is still with me but less intense now, so sedation would be a waste. That had its own consequence and too many lines were crossed to ever risk smoothing the edges with alcohol or opiates again. I do not rule out being a pothead. But for now, forget it.

I wish I'd done like the head of the physics dept and head of math department at one or more institutions suggested, and taken it seriously, gone on to grad school, then made it through the doctorate level and become a secluded academician or mad scientist. Trouble is, even then the thought of having to rely on government money turned my stomach. Still, it would have been a good thing to do. Maybe I was constitutionally incapable of such discipline. There are some places in private industry for physics people. Mostly the government partnership with corporations has killed that. They sold out so that government has the corner on research and such.

Besides I really dislike most so-called scientists because they seem to fear truth, and are more concerned with everyone thinking they are superior. I've known plenty of them. A rather arrogant closed minded bunch, especially those who are strictly paid from government coffers.

But that is all external. Maybe the internal landscape is just too worrisome to explore at this point. It always has been, in reality.

It leaves me continually feeling secretly apologetic to life, in general, for my lack of effort and accomplishment. Never, or rarely, proud of my existence and life. This is beginning to interfere with enjoying life and looking forward to waking up.

Beginning to? Well, it comes and goes and is actually an old emotion, not something that is just now beginning to cause annoyance.

Vegetable juice may be the only answer; throw every green thing they sell and all other colors of plant life into the Jack Lalanne
power juicer and consume in large quantity. It usually improves energy and mood. But it requires buying groceries and keeping up with it. I suppose most people find they have to buy groceries from time to time. The very basics are what throw me the most. Dammit.

Too Much Info

Perhaps it is my destiny. I recall the strange and unbelievable story my foray into cotton dust control revealed. In short, the companies, which politicians and agencies act like they are going to fry for whatever reason--usually something stupid--are often behind the very actions being taken. They will whine publicly while pulling the strings privately. Don't be fooled into thinking we have no major textile manufacturing, particularly in the world of cotton, because of cheap labor and all that abroad. The whole thing was being orchestrated in the late 70's. I fell into proof of how that web operated. Makes no difference if you believe it or not.

Now I'm in a circumstance in which I, once again, just happen to see some things first hand which indicate that what you hear in the press, and the images very prominent people convey are not the real story at all. It does make one tend to believe there is such a thing as a conspiracy. The why of it still eludes me, but the if, how, and who sure don't. If you are one of those people who think that those who talk redistribution of wealth mean to pilfer from the rich and give to the poor, you are being duped. Wealth is and will be redistributed, but it is more a matter of shifting who controls the wealth. Mostly it will go from very wealthy to ultra wealthy, from producers to those who deal purely in money handling of one form or another.

[[OK. I don't know how to make a post short by splitting part of it out so, since I know you really don't want to read this, I am cutting what remains and sticking it in the comments. I sort of got the idea from over at BenB's. Except he had a post in comments then posted it in a post. It seemed technical and like a good idea. I think it had to do with site malfunction. ]]

Proof of WHISK shakes, etc.-You do not drink My milkshake

Long awaited photos from my security cameras prove I wasn't lying about my limited kitchen facilities and milkshake making.
I am disappointed I couldn't get away with referring to the implement as a "wisk". I like that word better than whisk. However if you try to use Wisk to make a milkshake, you are in big trouble.



I drink your milkshake. I drink it up!


*****Wine Update---Here's the label you look for, and if they don't have it, tell them they need it

Of course the text under the ass may be different, as there is more than one type of wine from this outfit.

Not sure if that is Bonnie or Clyde. Those are the names of the burros they got on a rescue a donkey mission.

Wine From Ballistic Mountain: wine lovers, trust me on this

[this was originally the last half of the previous post, but I wanted to make the posts a mile or two shorter than usual)

****added bonus!!! wine tip--if you want to try some wine from the winery further up the dirt road from me, go online to
Rock Canyon Vineyards

The site gives a feel for the better parts of Ballistic Mountain. Tim and his wife are great people. I got to know them at the party up the hill the other night. People seemed to be enjoying the wine they brought. I don't risk alcohol, so I rely on the impression of others. Some people brought wine with them, but I noticed that after tasting the Rock Canyon stuff they just stuck with that.

If wine reflects the personality and character of the vintner, then this stuff has got to be good; intelligent, witty, smooth, earthy, with lots of personality. When I'm around the right people I end up cutting up with as little inhibition as those who are drinking, sometimes I'm more over the top. Such was the case with this crew. That only happens rarely. Check out their wine and if it can be shipped to your locale, give it a shot. Shipping alcohol involves a ton of convoluted regulations. Can't ship to Tennesse or other places who try to protect their own fledgling wineries.

This is from their site, and very much what the view off my deck was like this morning, early. They live sort of to the south and west of me, but you can't see the place from here.
Just follow the dirt road, take the right fork and when it seems like the road is gone keep going.

Click the pic for the full view.

Oh well, I decided to steal another pic from Rock Canyon Ranch and Vineyards. This guy used to live at the beach. Seems like a surfer dude/cowboy. Way it is here.
There's a rise between us, but this view includes some of mine.

Gourmet Tips for those Who Have Not # 6

Actually, this is tip # 1 in this series, but I wanted to make people think this has been going on awhile, and that they missed something. Then, because I am ever so compassionate when it comes to deceptions, I had to own up. I'm the guy who spoils the tasteless practical jokes if it involves misleading or messing up the victim too much. I have my own brand of those.

Imagine your kitchen consists of a hot plate, and that you gave away numerous blenders, mixers and more when you decided you had to be a vagabond, or else. So, as luck would have it, your only powered appliance is the vegetable juicer given to you as a welcome to your new place present (and maybe by default--finally, he's not sleeping at our house present). I love/and/or/heart my juicer, so don't be messin'.

You don't know when you last had a milkshake but you are craving one, yet you do not want to spend the money for a store bought one. Assume that you purchased ice cream on sale, along with some extra stuff so you could finally get back to the vegetable juicing. I'll discuss that later.

OK so you are making a tasty sandwich, bread toasted in your frying pan with a little oil and garlic powder. The hot plate is slow so I put an upside down steel bowl over it. I have one that just fits.

Spinach lettuce, tomato, cheddar cheese, and those Morningstar farms picture-of-bacon strips. They cooked along side the bread. Don't criticize--it is what I like. You may like squid. Just not for me, that's all. Of course I use lots of mayo to glue things to the sandwich, and mustard too. I even splurged for chips. I worked today, got paid, and quit feeling like life is or should be over, so I planned my reward.

The combo is sometimes best with a milkshake, and I am not sure when I had the last one--was it in Seattle? Who knows. But now I have milk (I don't know why but one of the brands claiming to be organic, from cows that don't use steroids, seems to last twice as long as other milk. I don't use it quickly and the normal stuff goes bad before I'm done. Not the milk from happy cows. So, I actually save money even if I pay slightly more.) and ice cream.

Alright, usually I'd make a milkshake by putting ice cream and milk in a blender, along with some extra flavoring if I had it. I don't.

So what you do, if you are a have not, and you want to make a milkshake is put milk and ice cream in your glass, then use your handy dandy wire wisk--the only one you have, which just happens to be smaller diameter than the glass. It works like a charm.

(spellcheck on this blogger thing doesn't think "wisk" is a word. I think it is.)

I used a little vanilla ice cream, and a lot of mint chocolate chip--Breyer's if you must know. I go by price on these things, and it is so rare I have ice cream, I don't know that I'd like one brand that much better. It said "all natural". But every atom on earth is natural in some way, so who knows what that means. You can manipulate natural ingredients, but where else but in the natural universe can you get the most basic of raw materials for anything?

If I had been in a real bind I would have secured a fork in my electric drill, and used it like a mixer.

You don't need much to produce a world class sandwich ensemble.

In case you are wondering: the juicer is not a thing that works for milkshakes.

Public Service Appeals and Charity

Something which has puzzled me on and off for some time now is the whole structure of the charity/ enlightenment game. Having spent far too much time in the underbelly of a city or two, I often find myself reacting unfavorably to guilt based efforts to encourage people here to send their wealth over there--usually to a region most people have never seen, for purposes that sometimes don't add up, and sometimes do.

Why are problems in distant regions, in cultures far different from our own, of more importance than some serious issues within subcultures right here? And why is there tax incentive to cast your lot with organizations you know nothing about, yet none for merely helping those you see who need it? Personally I am for no tax incentives, and a flat rate tax at most. It appears those who run many non-profit organizations profit plenty. Why should being non-profit be considered more noble than for-profit?

We've got situations in large cities in which people growing up in many neighborhoods are receiving more education in how to use weapons against one another than they are learning useful skills like reading, using language effectively, basic math, basic history, basic human decency, or any other constructive thing. It is a culture of crime, violence, and disrespect for life. It does not have to be that way. I'd argue that government policies and practices, the prison system, and refusal to really look at the problem contribute a great deal to the mess. You always hear about how hard it is for a kid to escape it, to distance himself from gang life. I believe that is fairly true.

So, instead of concerted efforts to eliminate the hierarchy within these places that keeps the problem going, we send money all over the world for who knows what. We build new schools in Pakistan and other regions, imagining that this will somehow "stabilize the region" and everyone will like us.

If school districts are complaining about condition of school buildings and funds, why are we building schools elsewhere? If you can't take care of your own, you really don't need to assume you can fix everyone else. It may be useful to realize that the general goals and aspirations of the people in various cultures are not necessarily the same. Thinking they are is idiotic if not suicidal.

I'd feel better if various actors and such people would give away all their money, leaving themselves the same amount I live on, then see if they enjoy being asked to donate $10 here, 7 there, 20 somewhere else. If they care so much they will buy up millions of dollars worth of mosquito nets, sponsor thousands of children, and put their money where their mouths are.

It is all part of the big pretense, the ubiquitous blind eye. To anyone who pays attention you see it in public schools where non offensive kids are terrorized by riffraff, and in prisons where many of the idiots in normal life think it is cool that there is a jungle hierarchy in which people are brutalized, mini gangs develop based on race, etc. That is dumb. With all the people incarcerated in this country, there has to be a huge number who should not be there. Well, that is obvious just from the things that land some people behind bars.

Whether it is the church, our own government, or some Hollywood hack, I do not get the drive to take up causes abroad while ignoring the problems at home. A good many problems in other places are the direct result of self righteous idiots insisting on bringing them the Word in one form or another.

It is hard to rise to the top in America, so I guess it soothes the ego to find places that have yet to discover the wheel and go play God.

Our system indirectly penalizes those who simply help a neighbor in need. No, the only way to a lower tax bracket is to throw money at huge, government approved organizations, whose top admin people make far more than most of us, and often the percentage of money that actually goes toward directly dealing with whatever problem is shockingly low.

They've done a good job of using peer pressure to maximize the profits of the non-profit game. You can buy your way to positive reinforcement and recognition without ever personally doing any thing for a person who needs it, one on one. Unless, of course, there's a photo op in it.