Testing, and Where to What?

So, the overwhelmed Memphis Apple store turned it around in 24 hours. They couldn't fix the key between 8 and 0. He said they'd have to replace the keyboard for some reason, so I opted to keep it taped in place and buy an external keyboard. I also bought a new battery which has been on the list for more than a year.

Big storm warnings in the area. The warning sirens wailing, the whole bit. It looks like the biggest tornado risk may be a mile or two north of here.

Just spotted tornado in midtown
Heading to basement.

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The above wouldn't publish but it saved. Did not end up in basement. The funnel cloud was spotted near enough to here but it did not evolve into anything serious.

I'm torn between directions of travel. Weather forecast indicates hot hot hot for just about everywhere south of Montana. The NC benefit is not going to be peopled by those I thought were playing, and sounds like a bust from my perspective. But from my perspective, I can't see the forest for the trees, can't remember why I wanted to take this trip, and can't see the point of any of this.
I assume that will pass. Maybe more than 24 hours in Memphis is a lifetime too much.

It is cloudy and rainy looking again. I guess I'll get to Dallas by Saturday. Finally heard back from cousins there,
The big question is whether to go east then come back through Texas. The thing is, I'd hoped for a return trip far to the north of that.

There are places east I want to go, but I have no love or longing for the places along the way. No desire to do much in the southeast any more. It's not the people just me and my lack of love for much of the past that places represent. I've lost my affection for dripping humid heat.

I guess, since I've never seen Austin, and need to see my Aunt, Texas has to be the next stop. Backtracking is against the grain, but what can you do?

Song of the South in Mississippi

My computer is in the shop in Memphis. It may be an item which they will do for free. It is, they say.

They have the part. Just waiting for genius person to put it in. I offered to do it myself but they strongly urged, NO!!!

OK. At photoLady's. Same house where I used to live. My old apt is empty and the place is for sale.

Good to have lodging.

Something about this town makes me angry. Just driving from Mac store to here seemed to get under my skin. I know is is much me. I have no reason to be mad but this city just does that to me. I very much do not want to live or die in Memphis.

Whether it is the hot humid air or the fact that a huge percentage of the population is not only dumber than a rock but wildly psychotic. I mean a HUGE percentage. The rest just pretend it is all dandy. Not saying there aren't many swell and wonderful people here. There are. Just saying there is an intangible force in this place which makes me angry, on fire with undefined rage, and feel like I'm fighting for my life. And losing.

The Hill country harp fest was very well done.
It rained but I stayed dry.

Sugar Blue and his band were On Fire. They were hot hot hot. SB looked younger than in recent videos. He has a nice personality and good humor.

There were a lot of nice people there, and many very good players.

I'm on borrowed time--not my computer.

Not sure what is next. Trying to contact relatives but have just now emailed. Other relatives have been no help in this lost Texas contact.
Some of that determines where to from here, when my mac is back.

Keep my old friend from long ago who plays sax in your thoughts. He broke his neck and is due to be laid up awhile.
They are doing a benefit in NC, Clemmons, I believe. People I jammed with in the 80's. At least a few of them.
I'd like to play it too, but do not know if that will happen. They should do more than one benefit. He'll need the help and all else, I'm guessing.

So, best of recovery to Dwayne L.

Plan Z2

OK. Come heck or high water I am out of here Monday night. Then a day in eastern AZ. Then 3 days to drive to MS for the blues harp festival, providing it is not under water. Then back to Texas, then we shall see. I expect to head east agin, then eventually west. The one place not on the list is Bumble Bee, AZ. That is where I encountered the cuchacabra a few years ago. Did I spell that right? Believe me I did not stick around and ask about spelling when its fearsome head caught my eye.

Maybe it is Chupacabra. Whatever it is, the only time people talk about them is on Coast to Coast AM radio with George Noory or Art Bell.

I lived to tell about it and to avoid the endless dirt road to Bumble Bee.

a blast from the past

PS: I'm bringing the last of the Howling Wolf spice rub with me. Great on potatoes or on cheese, lettuce, tomato and mayo sandwiches, on wheat toast. The stuff is incredible and a little goes a long way--otherwise I'd already be out.

Strange Days:part 515

Mental blocks are sometimes treated with drugs or diagnoses of various types. That approach s the luxury of those who can carry their issue to well paid professionals. If that luxury is out of one's grasp, the best thing is to realize that the block is mental, and that means you have to fight through it.

I thought I put up a post a day or so ago and now it is gone. Maybe I imagined it.

I have coolers and other things now, found that Target is best for cheap gear, WalMart's selection is wanting. Cheap is how we role in this realm.

Maybe I can get the massive mess, that is the manifestation of my mental block, under control in time for an almost on time departure. It is working on me and actually causes shallow breathing and internal panic. That is unacceptable. No way for a brave man to be. I'll retreat into a calming trance and down a ton of Cuban coffee and bull through it.

Half of the purpose of this trip is to force me to confront things which my self imposed stagnation has allowed to become unmanageable and unmanaged.

If you really begin dropping out of life in an unhealthy way at an early age, it can carry over for decades. For some it takes longer to confront the internal lies, regardless of who is at fault for them being there, than for others. Like always, I probably have everything I need and find it difficult to accept this. The rest is just confusing work. Organizing and de-trashing is very complex for someone like me.

boohoo. OK. Whining is over for now. Luckily I don't have a flood to deal with. Cleaning up after a house is flooded would be a real challenge. I could probably clean up someone else's mess, for pay. But my own, it is as if I am looking at an unfamiliar planet and haven't a clue what to do. That is obviously a mental issue which is internally based on completely wrong premises.

Burning Bridges/Squeezing the Most out of Last Minute Prep

*****Phantom post returned. Here it is*****


I'm working tomorrow but bringing an instruction sheet for the people who will do what I do in my absence. The won't do repair work, just the regular things when people come in and when they leave.

The housekeeper's son and his pal often help her and they do good work. Maybe 18 or 20 years old. My nine button is messed up so I could not numerically list the in between age. I refuse to spell it out on principle of some kind.

I've told people I'm going to be out of here, so I have to go. That's the burning bridges part. No real or long term metaphorical bridges will be burned. Even though the landlord has placed this estate on the market. It is not possible due to various rules and regs to split out the cabin part. Otherwise, I might attempt to find a way to buy it.

If they sell while I'm gone, they'll know how t reach me. For their sake, I hope the sell. For mine, I'd rather the didn't. It may be more important to them than to me so I can't wish too hard for no buyers. In this market, it is very very tough. Especially out here with SDGE decimating Alpine business with their construction, uncertainty over the Powerlink scam, etc. Values have dropped to about 50% of their value in just a few years, and few are selling even at that. Great time to buy in East County.

Cheapo camping hint--there is more available for good prices at Target in this area than at WalMart. I don't go very high end with this stuff. And Target is the only one with the affordable airmattress with pump included. Better prices on coolers too. The 5 day jobs were all too big at both places so I went for convenient size that was on sale, included a tiny baby cooler inside plus a 20 pack of Coke.

Still skeptical of the Mississippi festival but I will pay about the time I leave if all looks like it is still a go. There are bound to be a lot of mosquitos if the wind is out of the west there, I have sticks that you burn to keep them at bay.

It sure takes me forver to start on things like this. A normal person would have spent the last month chipping away at the things that need doing, like leaving the house organized, etc. Guess I lack in the normal department.

Premonitions

Ever feel like you ought to state a premonition, just in case? So, then, it will make sense if it al panned out? I have, but I think it is a bad idea.

Best just to take things as they come and forget such hocus pocus.

Still Wonder What Synthetic Oil Is Made Of

The say it is better, and maybe it is. If it is not regular oil made from crude, I wonder how it is made. Someone ma have told the answer but I didn't remember it. Probably did not really make sense to me at the time.

I'll be using synthetic oil for my not so synthetic journey. I got rid of my old oil at WalMart. It is hard to find places that will take it and not charge you for that. WalMart makes it known that they are the place to go for that. What gets me is that the want you to sign a sheet with you name, address, and signature.

I realized, from past experience, that they do not check ID, so this time I signed in as J Pastorius from Alpine. Next time I'll be Stephen Hawking, although I need to check to see if he uses the ph or a v. Eventually I'll use names like Spiro Agnew and Wally Cleaver.

Why do they need you to sign? It isn't as if they can determine which of the oil in the dump tank was mine. Probably they originally thought it would be a good source for mailing lists, but you can tell they are not making use of it. I gave no street address for J, as in Jocko, Pastorius.

The tour should begin in a few days. How it will proceed, and where it will take me are variable factors. Those things are just not carved in stone. We'll see what happens. As time goes on the importance of things have changed. What I thought was the purpose has changed. It makes more sense. Because it is personal to me, there is no need to justify the why and all that. Doing that kills the idea. It is clear there are matters to be worked out and lessons to be learned.

I look forward to finally getting this car unloaded because it has been packed with junk and work related paraphernalia for years. The things that will travel with me are mostly light weight and functional. I always bring some tools and items that would serve in case of emergency. Of course the machete will be on board. It is a useful tool and has been used in the past for cutting sticks or chopping brush to put under tires for traction or just as an accessory which makes the riffraff think I am too crazy to bother.

Maybe I'll wait until Texas to get a haircut. The only good haircut here is expensive and way over at the coast. I don't trust any of the fairly priced haircutters any more. I could cut hair better than them, but it is tough to effectively cut your own hair. The need has reached near crisis level. It is just not good style at the moment, and a man of my stature can't go around looking like the unwashed masses.

In the mean time I could slick it back with some synthetic oil.

These Guys Look Familiar

Imams kicked off Delta flight in Memphis.


When I worked at the airport, I had a few run-ins with people trying to create racial and ethnic incidents. I knew it and they knew it. I managed to keep things just under the boiling point. They egg you on and show utter disdain, as if you are a dirty dog. I think one even called me a dirty dog.

One of those guys looks like the one I caught one on one after an unnecessary bunch of trouble and insult. We exchanged words about how we really felt, both knowing the other could not substantiate any claim later. He'd lost whatever the battle was which was more public and in sight of video cameras. I won't say what I told him, but I think he left with the idea that I was as crazy as the craziest radical of his clan.


Speaking of clan, how is it less of an abuse of free speech when crowds gather in London to protest the death of their hero Osama, carrying signs that read, "Islam will dominate the world" than it is when Black Panthers or KKK do their insane rants? The outcry in the case of fanatics who support violent Islam is actually not that loud, partly because mind dead governments of the west and people who deny reality refuse to take these threats seriously. But up close, the mistrust is there. That's why passengers freak out easily, and a pilot who elects to fly a peaceful ship catches hell.


In this case, I don't know if the pilot was right or wrong, but it is his call and you are far safer not usurping the traditional authority of the pilot to make that call. My guess is that their behavior and disrespect of other passengers made them nervous. They are Americans and purposely wear the garb and play it up when they fly to spur on some incident which gives them the chance to cry that they are victims.

I don't really sympathize with them. They got their apologies and another flight, but it will not end there. CAIR is getting involved and on and on.

And I'm one who has questioned our policy in the Arab world and with Israel forever. But when people are trying to bully through playing victim and pervert our own laws to give themselves special privilege, I have no use for them. I've seen people show respect and make effort and I've seen the opposite. Knowing you are going to create discomfort and annoy, and purposely going that route is looking for special privilege. If the pilot found it unworkable then that is how it goes.

I swear I think I dealt with these clowns in the past. They behave as if they are going to spit on you.

They want to improve the bad image, dissipate alleged islamaphobia? Quick purposely fueling it. Quit being jerks, and do something about the stonings, beheadings, and human bombs who blow up for the glory of the prophet (pbuh). Speak up loudly and visibly when people get killed over friggin cartoons. Things like that would help.

Religious states, and absurdly catering to every religion is suicide. Let people do what they want on their own time but keep the state out of it. Wash your feet when you leave home, don't saddle the tax payer with your airport foot wash.

Intolerant groups always push the most tolerant of societies, and do all they can not to assimilate and to punish the host society for their own inflexibility and arrogance. These groups are the ones who ignore the values of the place where they elect to settle. All the while accusing everyone else of intolerance--only because they know the society under attack values tolerance. They don't. Many groups play this game. Their homelands would not yield one thousandth as much as most western european and the nothern two countries in north America do.

Mississippi Rising

They say the end of Beale street, which runs perpendicular to the Mississippi River, is getting a bit damp. I've been down there when the river was high but nothing like now, and it is nasty. It stinks and you feel the sticky, hot humid catfish droppings become one with the mist.

I hope it doesn't do too much damage. The casinos in Tunica are going to be in really tough straits I think. Floods, tornadoes, and hot weather on the way. Let's hope the Westboro cult doesn't go down to harass the people, telling them it is God punishing them for something to do with "fags". Sorry. I guess I could have gone a lifetime without giving mention to that group of psycho-cultists.

Anyway, at first I thought this would mess up the blues harp fest in Mississippi, but it looks to be far enough inland to be OK. Not so sure how some of the upper MS blues towns located on the river will fare.

Maybe I'll get there after all. If so, I am pretty sure I am going to have to do most of my TX and other visits between here and there on the back swing. Time will be too tight, and I hate to rush everything. It is a long way there, and I am a little apprehensive about the river crossing at Memphis. In case there is damage on the road in Arkansas, I need to have time to go another way.

We shall see. It could be I make Dallas for a day or two then go from there. But I may have to go straight there, continue on, then catch all the rest on the way back home, although I still feel like I have yet to find home. This is as close as I've got, and some people here do feel like family, so there is that. I know it puzzles them that I am so unsettled and nuts. It puzzles me.

What puzzles me about myself and my life is a lot, actually. On the other hand, I probably am more at peace than most in some ways.

I'm counting on being physically up to this endeavor, and hoping the adventure actually promotes a little better fitness and energy. I also am allowing the possibility that I decide I can't do it and turning around early. It could go either way.

Most likely, once I get rolling I won't want to stop.

Prediction

Current mysteries will remain mysteries, however, in time for the 2012 elections, intelligence gathered by whatever means during whatever went down in Pockeestohn will serve to ensure one or more very dramatic operations which will divert attention from the obvious inflation of the dollar and resulting restrictions on travel and lifestyle. Not to mention lack of long term job growth.

Don't assume I would have any different prediction if a mainstream Republican was at the helm while totalitarianism seems to loom large. I wouldn't.

The good news is that it is hard as hell to control so much from a central power base, manned by the relatively few, who consider it their duty to control the lives and interactions of others. We vote and they assume they are elite and above us. Hell, if people keep voting for the obvious choices, I guess they have a point.

I will say, that without being convinced of any story I hear, and having only one alternate possibility in mind (which I hope is true), the whole thing does not give me a good feeling. Maybe nothing is amiss, but it doesn't seem good at the moment. No facts to back that up, so I can't say my feeling has any validity.

Like when they caught Saddam, I was kind of happy. But when his hanging was on video I felt like we'd let these people drag us back a few centuries. Other incidents over the last decade have reinforced that observation. Since when did we cheer in the streets and demand to see bodies? I understand the reasons, but the reactions are suspect. What has lead up to all this is suspect, and I'm going back many decades with that reference. We've had beheadings on tape. Tell me we aren't dealing with some people stuck in a time warp back in the worst of the Medieval period.

Anyway, I predict there will be more unusual and momentous expeditions and they will provide a big bump in the polls. I seriously doubt it will backfire politically. That would be no big deal if I did not think it would distract from some serious domestic encroachment on lives like mine.

I'll survive and be happy and insist you buy my book whenever I'm done. The rest I cannot control, but I do take notice. If only I had such a keen sense of the dynamics of the market.