The Eye Nazi

There have been a few peculiarities in my ocular world for a couple of weeks or more. I was pretty sure it was not serious, but it seemed wise to consult professionals rather than guess, considering they had done some internal welding with lasers.

As it turns out, nothing is amiss, and some of the occurrences are normal or caused by external factors of unknown type and character.

Obtaining audience with such a professional was a peculiar journey. First I call and describe, to the best of my ability, what I am experiencing. Like the honey badger, the phone lady don't care. She'll have a tech call me back.

An hour or so later, a tech calls back; the eye nazi from a bad Chinese restaurant.

"You have flashing lights? YES OR NO!?" "So, it just bubble in eye!".

No, not a bubble, like suds look but two dimensional in peripheral vision, sometimes, etc.

"You have bubble? YES OR NO!? "
"What about light flash? YES!? NO?!"

Uh, well, I, uh.... The eye nazi has me on the ropes. I forgot what my problem was. She's getting pissed now and asking questions faster and louder.

I start just telling her what she wants to hear.

Yes. Lights flashing sometimes, and a big bubble come over eye.

"OK, we call Dr asdfkhasdfakh, you doctor out sick."

Maybe I should wait for my doctor.

HE SICK. DON'T KNOW WHEN HE COME BACK. WE CALL DR KJHLGHLHLKJ, AND IF HE WANT YOU IN TODAY CAN YOU GO DOWNTOWN NOW?! YES?! NO!?

OK.

A few hours later the other guy's office calls up. I was expecting some sort of punishment but they tricked me by being nice and seemed to know what I was saying--whatever that was.

As it turned out, the tech I knew and liked had been promoted to lead tech and as such was transfered to the downtown facility, and he's the one I drew by stroke of fate. His first day on new job, and I was his first patient. Definitely an A team sort of guy. That was reassuring, and all went well after that. Dr kshdfgkjhsd turned out to be rather sharp and probably did not get his degree by cheating.

If I go back to the other office in the future and draw the eye nazi, I fear she may poke my eye out if I don't say the right thing.

The sick part is, I started imagining what her love life must be like. "YOU DONE OR WHAT? YES OR NO!!," and many variations on that theme. Now that I think of it, the juxtaposition of this thought with "poke your eye out" kind of takes it to another dimension entirely.

OK. I quit while I can. It's been a swell visit, now I get out.

Questions I ask Myself; part 192012

Having skipped breakfast, I opted to have breakfast for dinner. After a couple of bites into the meal, I humbly asked myself, "What is your secret? I've never had better omelets and such anywhere else on earth, you, sir are a genius!"

"Aw shucks", myself replied, "I guess I'll tell you the secret; Richard's Delicious seasoning, and clever use of sour cream in the omelet goo, as well as spinach."

"Where can I get this Richard's Delicious seasoning?"

Myself, refused to say more than that you can get it in North Carolina, and that a full blooded Carnivore* is the one who introduced him to this unique mix.

This past Christmas I passed out a few bottles of the substance to carnivores around the country. It is hard to be taken seriously in such culinary circles when you are a vegetarian, yet you tell them to cook it into meat, fish and fowl. They are sure I have no hope of enriching their cuisine.

Fortunately a few people tried it more than once with favorable results. Down in the Florida keys my sister in law was feeding several people. OK. My brother helped some. One night they grilled roast beast burgers of some kind out on the gas grill. They tried the seasoning on that. It must have been good because I found out that she used Richard's Delicious seasoning in the cooking of the Christmas turkey which was heartily devoured by all save for myself.

Food things can often be like women's clothing---you can make some choices, if you buy clothes to give women, that in no way work out for the recipient. Seasoning is much cheaper and easier to hide so it doesn't really put people so much on the spot. Like if someone dropped off a lovely squid dinner, I'd immediately regift it or go driving down the hill and throw it off the side of the road somewhere. Fortunately no one would expect me to wear it.

I guess I doled out the Richard's because no one would expect it of me, and because I like it. They should all be on notice that if they don't care for it, I will gladly take the unused portion off their hands with no hard feelings.

It doesn't hurt my bias that I spoke to the people who make this stuff and I like them and the way they do business. I may become a traveling seasoning salesman selling Richard's delicious products. I'd only have to sell thousands and thousands of units to make it pay for the travel.

I should ask myself if this is a viable plan. Anyone who can create such an incredible breakfast for dinner would probably know.


* If I don't give Joel credit by name, he's liable to sue or put out a hit on me, so here it is.

Sometimes

..I love all of humanity, and that includes huwomanity. (for those in public school and the universal noun and pronoun challenged)
Sometimes, I hate them all. I know I really don't hate them all, but it is easier than assessing my many failures in life and my interactions with others allegedly of my species. I'd blame them for the wringer my heart has gone through for decades, but I guess it is m own doing. I'd much rather blame and hate. That is so much easier than looking at the truth.

What can you do? In spite of never being "home"--not sure when or where ever felt solidly like home--some people seem to appreciate what little I offer, while respecting my autonomy, boundaries, etc. Boundaries, autonomy, where one's rights end and begin are all totally foreign concepts to some people. I do not think such people are capable of understanding or embracing that sort of respect. Being an optimist, I place that group in the minority of Americans. Otherwise the whole country would be far more tilted toward unsavory pathologies than it is. Not a pretty thought.

It comes down to the simple truth that you cannot blame others for your choices.

Back In The Land of Fruits and Nuts

My abode is not as mess as I thought. That was a pleasant surprise.

As much as it is nice to be home, I hate for the journey to end. I could keep cruising around from place to place, trying to catch the motel scammers in lies, visiting friends and checking out new out of the way places indefinitely. I like being in travel mode.

I'd like to go around conducting clinics on proper lane usage, following distance, the wisdom of turning on lights, not just parking lights, in fog and rain, how it won't kill you to move over to let someone merge or so a car isn't blocked in so he has to stop for a slow moving tractor, etc. Then again, some people, like those rednecks in Phoenix in the big new red Dodge truck actually enjoy making travel tough for others. They actually smiled as they went out of their way to inhibit a lane change by more than one driver. My seminar might give them more ideas on how to screw up the world.

Kudos to Texas for the 80 mph stretch on I-10 in West Texas. And for being better suited to motor vehicle operation as a group than are Arizonians. Maybe it is the tricky approach the cops take in AZ, I don't know, but on the road they are kind of rude and angry. I think it partly the universal tendency of third word transplants to be clueless when it comes to basic rules of the road, lane usage and the idea that the objective is to get from point A to point B without incident, and in a timely fashion.

It was pretty much smooth going. I forgot where it was that people would race up like they wanted to pass then just hang in the blind spot. Maybe NM and maybe AZ. It was very odd. I entertain myself by mentally chronically trends in driver behavior, and by finding common denominators, such as car type, person type, state of license plate, etc. Like most issues, the raw data and the results would only make trouble for the one reporting it.

Overall, the highways were not very angry this past week.

I cannot over emphasize the time saving properties of empty coffee cans, with lids and a secure place to stow, easily accessible while driving. Cruise control is a big help in exploiting the potential of the empty Bustelo can.

Somewhere In The South

The empty place at the table is Fin. He was taking pictures while I asked Bethany what was Italian for "food I like". My two favorite cuisines are Mexican and Italian. I left there stuffed. Thanks Fin.
This is located in a very cool town that is kind of out of the way but near a splendid natural resource. One of those places I'll keep in mind, like Ponca City Oklahoma, except Ponca's natural resource fun place is not nearly as abundant.

(that was a good choice of camera angle, looking sort of down on the scene. Both of my hosts are unusually talented in various ways. You'd be amazed at some of the things around that house that Bethany has created; from photos to functional additions to the house itself. Not a room addition, although I wouldn't rule that out)

Another Good Tour

Slow connection and tiredness prevent me from going into detail. I am in TX taking the fast way home, so I won't be stopping in Dallas. I need to return a little quicker, and this is taking awhile.

I was able to rest and have a thoroughly good visit with Fin and Bethany. It is a very pleasant place, away from the hectic city life, but close to a very cool town. That's all I am permitted to say regarding the location.

Bethany is expert at many things, one of them having. a knack for anticipating a guest's needs before they arrive. You just find this and that right there when you need it. I even had a choice of places to dwell--one was an rv which is very comfortable. I chose that since it was a new experience, and so much preparation had gone into making it a splendid resort accommodation. I would have moved in until evicted had I not felt the need to get home.

We had a good time; night time walks around the 'hood to check out the holiday decorations, and to walk Copper the wonder dog, great dinner in the cool town, Bethany's fresh blueberry pancakes, Fin's professional keyboard playing, and more.

Copper is allegedly a purebred breed of some kind, but he appears to be the only specimen of whatever breed he is. Basset hound is what I think the papers say, but he's more like a basset hound on stilts with a bit of alien thrown in. He's something else. I love the fact that he rarely barks (mostly if he sees a rabbit--rabbits to him are more alluring than crack is to a crack addict), but instead he just kind of grumbles under his breath in response to what's going on. He is quite a character. I've never known or seen a similar canine in appearance or behavior.

That is one cool dog.

Better go and hope this connection will handle posting this.

Happy New Year!

I'm very happy to be out and away from any of the New Year's hooplah

S Fla.

Here I am in Tavernier. Got here at midday to be greeted by the signature low lying puffy cumulus clouds and sunshine. 80 degrees and a gentle breeze. The water out in Florida bay has some definite greenish turquoise hue to it. I can see that from the living room and deck here at my brother's place. It has more of that turquoise color than I remember.

It changes, depending upon the light and other factors. Lots that azure color of water in the Caribbean and off of South Florida. It is pretty nice. Earlier today, as I was driving in, I was thinking that I have no use for Florida whatsoever. But then I got to Key Largo and before I was half way through that island I began to soften on the issue.

That's the end of my story.

Driving Tips /Unashamedly Racist Motel Review

Let me get the review out of the way.

First I should say that I have worked with many people from India and some are great while others are the kind of people ou want to run out of town--much like any other ethnic group. I consider white people an ethnic group as well, even though the definition of "ethnic" has come to mean all those not of european decent.

The Indians previously mentioned--the group that ought to go away--seem to buy up motels like crazy. Only one in two hundred fifty nice ones go into the hospitality business. Especially in the south. Please note, however that the Mr. Patel who runs a motel in Ponca City is not only hospitable and friendly, but he also maintains the place in tip top condition, does not pretend he "already gave you" the senior discount, AAA discount or other discounts advertised, when quoting a price without knowing if you are senior or have the AAA card.

The bad people do all of those things. They give you the rate, then you say you have AAA, if it is advertised, or you ask what age is considered senior. Then they say, "Oh, I already discounted it. The normal rate is 5 or 10 dollars more". Liars. And they are so cheap they set hot water temperature at roughly 98 degrees F.

Those people give foreigners from that part of the world a bad name. They cut every possible corner then wonder why people don't flock to their unkempt hovels. They soley prey upon the poor and ignorant, like me. I bite my thumb at them!

On the driving front, if it is raining cats and dogs, foggy and overcast, and you can hardly see two feet in front of you, turn on your lights! It may not help you see, but it goes a long way toward helping others see you. And don't do the parking lights routine. That is not for driving. It has been shown that for some reason you cannot judge the distance of parking lights on the front of a car as well as headlights.

Besides, when trucks kick up massive mist, or it is just foggy and rainy, headlights are a lot easier to see. If you have to be told to turn on your lights in the rain, and that it is so people can see you, you probably should just stay home and give your car to a veterans' organization.

Finally in Florida, toward the upper part. I cannot wait to get to the Keys. You can have the rest of this place. And after that I can't wait to get back across the Mississippi. It is nothing but traffic in the east.

I'm really being tough on the place. I'm sure it is only being overly tired that makes me this way. Memphis can do that do you all by itself. Except my friend's restaurant and a few things. The town just doesn't agree with me. Something about the mojo or vibe or joojoo or something.

I know I stepped over the line with the motel review, but you tell me you do not know what I'm talking about and that you do not feel relief when the inn keeper is more ethnically American. Any race or nationality can be that. It is a way of doing things, not a racial imperative. Oh hell. If you of are a certain mindset you would never get this anyway. Just telling the truth.

It poured rain all day from to the bottom of Alabama and Georgia. Part of the time I was in a tornado warning area, part of the time tornado watch, the rest just sheets of rain slapping everything around.

No Jams Strange Days

No use going into it but it was a day like that.
Anyway the jam just didn't work out on any level. People have lives and some have more drama than others. Often one can get sucked into the aftermath of such things, carting people to and fro, carrying Christmas trees on your car against your will.

Out of here. Soon. Not soon enough.

Memphis and Restaurant Review

G1, for various reasons will not be able to jam tonight.

Last night I was able to get by his very nice house for the amp exchange. One pristine Mesa Boogie Blue Angel amp with 4 10 inch speakers in the cab--it is all one unit --for a 1966 vintage Fender Bassman amp with a Mesa speaker cab with one 12 inch speaker. Speaker cord and amp cover included. For some reason the bassman lends itself better to the harp, although I did like the Blue Angel.

But what a bear that Mesa was to load and unload in my car. Since it was one big unit, maneuvering it to fit in was a task. The new rig is two smaller, lighter units, and much easier to carry.

It looks like no electric jam tonight but probably a little acoustic get together with the bass player and his friends at his house, in the back yard by a big fire pit.

This brings me to the restaurant review. Bass player and his lovely wife bought a building in the artsy Cooper-Young district in Memphis. They converted into the coolest restaurant in the area. For whatever reason, they only serve breakfast and lunch, but they do cater night time parties and group events on site at night.

I had breakfast there this morning and was caught by surprise in every respect. The place is immediately comfortable and hospitable. It is hip without the usual over the top stuff usually done around here to announce that the place is chic. Those places end up being uncomfortable except to the special regular crowd of posers.

Stone Soup--the name of this establishment--is extraordinary in that it is ultra clean, very relaxed and has the sharpest, most competent staff I've seen just about anywhere.

All the bread and biscuits are made on site from scratch. If you know Memphis, the lady who used to own Buns On The Run now works at Stone. My tour included the kitchen which looks like the kind you see on those chef shows, except it may be cleaner.

The called it "oats" on the menu. I call it oat meal, and it was the best I have ever had; served with a side dish of raisons and one of brown sugar so you can doctor it up how you wish. Eggs cooked perfectly, in butter, I think. Something made them better. The biscuit was good enough that you could eat it without butter or anything and not complain, although I added butter because I could. I sampled the toast that was a slice about 2 inches thick, at least, and it was also good enough without adding a thing. They make great bread.

Another clue for me about a place is how they handle the simple task of cooking potatoes. It is surprising how most eateries struggle with that while pretending they are doing a good job. M hashbrowns were neither greasy nor undercooked. Not overcooked. I don't knw what they do but it comes out just right. Usually you have to pie on pepper or salt or something to make them edible. Like the bread, the hash browns are great as is.

Most of the time, places cook potatoes on whatever was used to cook greasy meat things and you can tell it. Here they don't tend to have that bleed over from one item to the next.

All I can say is that whether you are carnivore r not, this is THE place in Memphis for lunch and breakfast. Most likely they wil grow into a dinner joint, too.

Since breakfast and lunch are my favorites, I guess a place like this suits me better than most. If you are in Memphis, try it you will like it. Just south of Cafe Ole on Cooper.