Often people who seek a forced utopia of their design like to ignore the universal elements which get in the way; like the fact that your idea of heaven may not be mine. And it goes on and on.
On that same line of thought are those who like to say that anything you can say, think or hope has already been said or thought of by someone else long ago. That means that you can never have an original thought. I find that a bit pessimistic and doesn't account for much. When did all the possible permutations of thought, music, crime, and invention get used up? Who had the last original idea? Was any idea ever an original one?
I suppose that it makes giving up and being a critic at large more justifiable if you already know that no one is deserving of credit for any idea or creation for which they claim responsibility. That is not a fun school. Got to rain on everyone's parade. Once again, I guess the thing to do is get out the fumigator---the same one I use on people who want to bring back the sixties, or who try to tell me what God thinks without me asking them for this information.
Today I practiced again with the guy who used to live in Nashville, and his girlfriend the singer. His arrangements of the few covers he does are definitely unique and I'm thinking they will work. I get to play in a way that is not what most people expect me to play. It is shaping up toward what I want to play and not how I think I ought to play. Big difference there.
We are of the same view regarding original music--if I'm going to play, I'd much rather be there from the moment of conception, than adopt everyone else's successful babies. It is one process in which abortion is often the kindest thing. But then we all probably know that a piece of music or art or writing is not actually a baby and God would be just as happy if the bad stuff gets snuffed early on.
The mountain group has a gig coming up somewhere which should be good. I believe the event expects a lot of people.
Those kids I walked away from due to the lead guy's arrogant and somewhat insulting remarks are getting some good bookings. I do not regret the split there. They have a drummer now, and I would never have played with them at all had I not liked something about their sound. It is better for them this way, and probably for me. I doubt young Bert even realized how out of line he was. His brother has kept up with me from time to time, at first trying to get me to play with them.
They could do well, but I know from being a dumb kid myself, you just have to learn as you go, and someone thinking they are going to lay it all out and have their advice followed or even remembered is fooling himself. They got the point and are happy enough to know I still wish them well.
Some people look back and think, "If someone had just told me (this or that)...". Maybe someone did. I look back and realize now that many people tried to tell me certain things but I wasn't ready to comprehend. I think those who wish they'd been told don't realize that they probably were told. The thing is, if the useful guidance and trust is missing as you are forming and growing up, you are kind of on your own, and not likely to make the best use of would-be mentors or your own innate talents and abilities. Fact of life.
The real deal is recognizing that if you blew chances in the past because you thought too little of yourself, couldn't pay attention, assumed you knew what others were thinking, or any host of other mistakes, then there is a good chance that you may be doing similar stupid things now, especially if you wonder how to improve your lot, aren't happy with your life, etc.
How to spot the errors? I'm thinking maybe the trick is to try to get the truth out of my subconscious, conscious, or inner mind so that I can know the answer to the question, "What would you like to be doing---what do you want?". Eliminate certain limits so the honest desire can surface. I mean I may want to be an NFL quarterback but obviously that is not going to happen unless the rest of the world gets struck by a plague that leaves them all very weak, very slow; something that levels the field drastically.
So far, I haven't done well at finding that answer. I did find such an answer once, and that is how I got out of Memphis and as deep and dark a depressive era as I've ever known. In a moment of clarity I was able to ask myself what I would be doing if I could do whatever I wanted; and I was able to offer an answer.
I would wander and meander out west until I decided to stop. Then I realized that I could swing it, providing that I could handle sleeping in a tent most of the time. So, I set out to do just that, and as slow as I moved toward that goal, I finally got on the road, and it is one of those turning points which I do not regret at all.
Where do we go from here has been vague, although I enjoy much of what my life brings here among the California rednecks and goofballs.
CA is full of rednecks, or what I call rednecks. More here than in the South. They just don't make it as easy to throw stuff away.
But I look around and wonder why anyone here is at all hostile or impolite. It is nice. Lots of places in America are way too cool, just from the geography/and/or the architecture and lifestyle, for it to make any sense not to be happy and thrilled to be there. Some people think the Native Americans were like that. They were killing each other, too, in many cases. I was born here and so were many of my ancestors, why can't I put "native American" on those forms that always want to split people in categories by race or broad brush ethnicity--like "hispanic"?
There are vast differences in cultures within North, South, and Central America which all have some spanish influences. At this point I still think the ticket is either you are an American citizen or not and the rest, by definition, according to the Constitution (and simple reason), is irrelevant. Some would say, oh but that was violated back when, etc. So, doesn't it make sense to now abide by that idea? No. Guess not.
Let's all be hyphenated, tribal, war mongering, jingoistic victim idiots. The ridiculous notion that an arbitrarily defined group based on condition of birth or sexual tendencies or some other philosophically irrelevant trait must include members who all think alike on issues of economics, nature, politics, and favorite color is one of the biggest cons yet; and one that has been very successful. Congratulations suckers!
Lucky me, my high cheekbones and odd gum pigmentation give me the right to be anything I want**
**source: Elizabeth Warren, Mass. senate candidate, liberated squaw, academic ethnic chameleon
Another time, I'll express how I really feel on that topic.
