In my case, many things have gone unsorted for a decade or two, at least. Mostly things have been in the box for about five years.
It used to be that I'd start to sort, see an item that brought up something from the past and it would make me sad or remorseful to the point that I just couldn't face it, so I'd stop and leave it for another time. That resulted in chaotic accumulation. And I'd be all down because I couldn't make myself touch it.
I couldn't look at opportunities ignored or family sadness and insanity or the way I felt at some age like 15. Just could not do it. It seemed to get worse over the years. And I never found the right person to help when it came to the minute details. I had to have help to even touch the boxes or the clutter, which is probably another issue.
Poor Joel ended up getting me moved in and out of places in NC two or three times. But those boxes went unsorted. I needed a trusted woman who cared enough not to be too annoyed and that never happened. Way it is when you have unusual defects that make no sense.
It may have been my own fear of letting them in that much, but I never felt I was in the presence of one who wouldn't be judging, even if trying to hide the fact. Positions reversed, I don't know that I could deal with it. Positions aren't reversed so there it is. [update: I may have had such a woman friend but wasn't there yet, now that I reflect on it] I've been stuck with me, and it has been my--I don't know--Moby Dick or something. Damned swimming mammal that tried to eat me alive.
Well, I am happy to say that I have willed myself into a different mental mode. It is a psychic change for sure. I spent the day dealing with everything from very macabre last will and testament sort of papers, written by me and witnessed by me, to sentimental stuff of deceased loved ones, you name it.
Not a shred of fear, regret, pain, or nostalgia. Actually, the scariest thing I found--really scary, macabre and worrisome sent me into almost uncontrollable laughter. (Hey JT, it was my piece of corn under the fridge)
This is trivia to most people, and hopefully would not even compute, but it was like suddenly being able to walk after thirty years confined to a wheel chair to me. All I felt was how lucky I am. I did have a couple of trusted friends in the mix. K and M. K knew me when I was 16, and she even gets why I laughed at something which painted a very dark picture of where I was a year before arriving on this coast.
M gets it too and he's only known me since I arrived here. No one else could possibly have helped, and had a blast doing it. And they wanted to. They've wanted to for maybe three or four years. Is that crazy or what? I'm way older and should be set in my ways and capable of whatever it is that high class neat people do. I may be genetically predisposed to disorganization, but no one in my family ever approached my flat out, long term negligence.
There is more to be done and they're returning Sunday whether I like or not. That will be good. I was freaking out before they arrived today--a little. I wanted to back out but had set it up so I couldn't. Now I don't have that going on.
With me it is the most basic life maintenance and organization that throws me for a loop. And it is the simplest of things that leaves me elated. Maybe that is good because the simple stuff is not a strain on the bank account.
Who knew that I bought a jacket on my ill fated fiasco of a trip to New Zealand? I did, and I had no idea. Also I have a Live! From Sun Studios---the Memphis Snake Doctors tee shirt. I didn't know that. And I did the art work. You can bet I'll wear that next time I'm at a musical gathering. "Oh, that? Yea, I recorded at Sun, same room where Elvis played".
That was cool, but I am so glad I got out of Memphis. Few people know it is either a suburb of Hell, or else Purgatory. But that isn't to say there aren't some cool people there. Don't know how they do it. And I did live in the best of all possible places in the best of all possible neighborhoods--in my book. Wasn't enough.
I'd say the people out here, especially in Alpine and that region, have no idea how good they have it. But even the lifers do seem to know. Weird when people actually like it where they live. Never experienced so much of that before.
====so far six Large garbage bags in dumpster, mostly from things culled out of boxes with helpful labels like "John" and "textiles". No container has only one type of thing. There were harmonicas, kitchen utensils, towels, tee shirts, and notebooks in one of the 'textiles' boxes. No one named John is in the John bin. It was time to trash that tax thing from 1996. Really, I wasn't in love with that document even when it was timely, why keep it another 15 or 20 years?
Thursday, May 16, 2013
People With Way More Credentials and Brains Than I
Often I write rants here. I've been accused of making baseless assertions which contradict the view of people who have studied more, achieved great academic success, degrees etc. Apparently I'm undaunted.
In the realm of energy production and the way that industry has evolved, my suggestions of how that would evolve over time have proven accurate. That was back in the late seventies.
I won't belabor the specifics because I kind of enjoy being told I don't know anything, that people with far more experience and credentials know better.
Regarding the IRS, it's the same thing. I re-read my last post and I kind of like it. Except it is the kind of talk that can get one put on a list these days. Freedom of expression ain't what it once was. National security, you know. I'm sure many people are aware that national security is an excuse against which you cannot argue.
Failing that, depending upon whom you criticize, it can be called hate speech or you're racist and talking in "dog whistles" to your secret racist buddies. Hate speech is a great one. Geez. Some people are hateful. Generally they fall of their own weight. Sometimes the haters are the ones accusing the truthful of hate speech. You never know. Censorship is like that.
The national security catch all excuse can be used for illegal snooping, as in the AP phone records scandal, or any abuse of power. And because it is national security which requires high level secrecy, you can't insist on the truth. "You can't handle the truth!", and you won't get it. Sorry. Expect more of that, too.
When I created a method for controlling the harmful by-product of running cotton from the bale to the finished product, cotton dust, I was told my method would not work.
No one could get the levels down to a point which was unlikely to cause the deadly condition known as brown lung. I guaranteed that I could, and in the very dirtiest, hardest to treat room in a cotton mill. And it was proven by independent tests to not only meet the target levels, but to exceed it by over 10%. When I say exceed, that is on the down side. Levels averaged over 10% under the level they all said I couldn't hit.
By the way, I actually got a minor study run in NC State's textile lab. I worked with a doctoral candidate. End result--the head of the department wanted me to come there and get my doctorate in textile science. I liked that guy. At the time, NC State was the top, cutting edge school in the world in that field. I think maybe Clemson was right up there too.
There were some very successful companies in that field who employed engineers and hotshots with far more experience, and much higher levels of education than I ever achieved. I guess they knew better and I was irrational and arrogant to think I knew better. They'd spent their lives doing this. Who did I think I was? I was only 26. Young punk kid, wet behind the ears, blablabla.
Well, they did know things I didn't. They knew about cronyism, government, and how to play the game and put on the show for public consumption. I was innocent and naive. But no one can change the fact that I was right. And I have proof, and there were witnesses.
The point is, many a scientist, PhD, government "professional", whatever, can be wrong despite credentials and experience. I respect what it takes to get those credentials, all the hard work. All of that. But those things do not necessarily prove a point. Often those people do wonderful things, with the exception of the government professionals.
This is the USA. Never were the terms professional and politician supposed to be linked together. It is a sure recipe for destruction of a nation, and in our case, a culture.
No, I decided I do not care that these brilliant people should have a better idea of how it should be than I do. If I strongly believe they don't, I'll trust myself.
You know who I'm talking to here, don't you homeboy?
hahahahahahahahahaha
I have to tell you, nothing was more satisfying than the mill president, who decided I may have something real, coming back from an industry wide conference on cotton dust control telling me how they all said my scheme was impossible nonsense, and then to see the results of the independent testing prove I was right.
The case of a runaway state is different. I would love to be wrong. But I am not. The trap for many bright people is that they think they can make it all work like a charm, if only they have the authority. And the other smart people who back them somehow see themselves as part of the benevolent elite, too. The inescapable truth, that when tax funded entities control choice and resources, injustices and cronyism will and do occur, is simply ignored. They mean well, but they got it wrong.
I guess I just had to make a bit of a case for why telling me I'm arrogant to question and suggest the things I do does not go far in convincing me to back off.
I do love how that IRS guy got thrown under the bus, while the one who probably should be under the bus, other than the head of the executive branch, ended up a head of the IRS department that is supposed to enforce the health care system. If nothing else, it is getting interesting, and it is a good study in how to get out of hot water even when you are caught red handed.
Who you gonna believe; me or your lying eyes? (you know that reference right? The guy gets caught in bed with another woman--or visa versa--and he says what woman, no woman here. Who you gonna believe, etc)
Oh, and by the way, the reason the US does not manufacture textile and cotton goods like they used to is more the result of crony business-government doings than slave labor in China. Certain corporations benefitted, others were crushed. That is how it is done. And the spin for the public sounds air tight logical, but it is not fabricated using truth.
But, hey. A lot smarter people than me say different.
so there
In the realm of energy production and the way that industry has evolved, my suggestions of how that would evolve over time have proven accurate. That was back in the late seventies.
I won't belabor the specifics because I kind of enjoy being told I don't know anything, that people with far more experience and credentials know better.
Regarding the IRS, it's the same thing. I re-read my last post and I kind of like it. Except it is the kind of talk that can get one put on a list these days. Freedom of expression ain't what it once was. National security, you know. I'm sure many people are aware that national security is an excuse against which you cannot argue.
Failing that, depending upon whom you criticize, it can be called hate speech or you're racist and talking in "dog whistles" to your secret racist buddies. Hate speech is a great one. Geez. Some people are hateful. Generally they fall of their own weight. Sometimes the haters are the ones accusing the truthful of hate speech. You never know. Censorship is like that.
The national security catch all excuse can be used for illegal snooping, as in the AP phone records scandal, or any abuse of power. And because it is national security which requires high level secrecy, you can't insist on the truth. "You can't handle the truth!", and you won't get it. Sorry. Expect more of that, too.
When I created a method for controlling the harmful by-product of running cotton from the bale to the finished product, cotton dust, I was told my method would not work.
No one could get the levels down to a point which was unlikely to cause the deadly condition known as brown lung. I guaranteed that I could, and in the very dirtiest, hardest to treat room in a cotton mill. And it was proven by independent tests to not only meet the target levels, but to exceed it by over 10%. When I say exceed, that is on the down side. Levels averaged over 10% under the level they all said I couldn't hit.
By the way, I actually got a minor study run in NC State's textile lab. I worked with a doctoral candidate. End result--the head of the department wanted me to come there and get my doctorate in textile science. I liked that guy. At the time, NC State was the top, cutting edge school in the world in that field. I think maybe Clemson was right up there too.
There were some very successful companies in that field who employed engineers and hotshots with far more experience, and much higher levels of education than I ever achieved. I guess they knew better and I was irrational and arrogant to think I knew better. They'd spent their lives doing this. Who did I think I was? I was only 26. Young punk kid, wet behind the ears, blablabla.
Well, they did know things I didn't. They knew about cronyism, government, and how to play the game and put on the show for public consumption. I was innocent and naive. But no one can change the fact that I was right. And I have proof, and there were witnesses.
The point is, many a scientist, PhD, government "professional", whatever, can be wrong despite credentials and experience. I respect what it takes to get those credentials, all the hard work. All of that. But those things do not necessarily prove a point. Often those people do wonderful things, with the exception of the government professionals.
This is the USA. Never were the terms professional and politician supposed to be linked together. It is a sure recipe for destruction of a nation, and in our case, a culture.
No, I decided I do not care that these brilliant people should have a better idea of how it should be than I do. If I strongly believe they don't, I'll trust myself.
You know who I'm talking to here, don't you homeboy?
hahahahahahahahahaha
I have to tell you, nothing was more satisfying than the mill president, who decided I may have something real, coming back from an industry wide conference on cotton dust control telling me how they all said my scheme was impossible nonsense, and then to see the results of the independent testing prove I was right.
The case of a runaway state is different. I would love to be wrong. But I am not. The trap for many bright people is that they think they can make it all work like a charm, if only they have the authority. And the other smart people who back them somehow see themselves as part of the benevolent elite, too. The inescapable truth, that when tax funded entities control choice and resources, injustices and cronyism will and do occur, is simply ignored. They mean well, but they got it wrong.
I guess I just had to make a bit of a case for why telling me I'm arrogant to question and suggest the things I do does not go far in convincing me to back off.
I do love how that IRS guy got thrown under the bus, while the one who probably should be under the bus, other than the head of the executive branch, ended up a head of the IRS department that is supposed to enforce the health care system. If nothing else, it is getting interesting, and it is a good study in how to get out of hot water even when you are caught red handed.
Who you gonna believe; me or your lying eyes? (you know that reference right? The guy gets caught in bed with another woman--or visa versa--and he says what woman, no woman here. Who you gonna believe, etc)
Oh, and by the way, the reason the US does not manufacture textile and cotton goods like they used to is more the result of crony business-government doings than slave labor in China. Certain corporations benefitted, others were crushed. That is how it is done. And the spin for the public sounds air tight logical, but it is not fabricated using truth.
But, hey. A lot smarter people than me say different.
so there
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Insatiable Retribution Service
Please tell me that it is not really a surprise that the IRS is used as a weapon against those who oppose those in power. Or against those who oppose the IRS.
Here's the trap: the group in power won't get rid of this evil organization because it is one of their biggest weapons against opposition, and it is a great source of private information and such which can be used in elections or simple blackmail.
It also controls which charities are deemed worthy, controls how you invest or save, and a whole myriad of life and business choices through a system of not stealing as much from you if you do A rather than B.
It is a tool of behavior modification as well as a legal terror organization. Being the IRS means never having to say you are sorry. They've ruined businesses and lives on rumors which proved wrong, then did nothing to atone.
They've ruined lives because they decided some rule didn't apply in case A but did in case B, based on arbitrary whim of judgement. It has no place among free people or decent people. And everyone actually knows this. They just refuse to admit it.
The group not in power doesn't want to push too hard to get rid of this jackboot operation because of the risk of being targeted and having their lives ruined by the IRS. Everyone is afraid to pull the plug on the out of control machine.
So, imagining that the latest hint of scandal even begins to touch the full story is very wishful, naive thinking. This government organization has been used as a weapon of reprisal by presidents, and others, even before FDR. That was the real motive behind its creation, in my view. Certainly the motive behind how it is structured.
Its very existence, and the nature of the tax code it enforces--a code so complex that no two irs creeps can give the same answers to questions regarding the rules---ensures the perpetuation of corruption and thuggery in government, funded by the taxpayers. I honestly do not see how any person with a shred of integrity can work for that outfit.
"Just doing my job" only goes so far. But that goes for an alarming number of government jobs agencies and projects. "Sorry to unreasonably ruin your life, but I'm just doing my job" (because I'm a spineless c*nt who doesn't have the backbone to refuse, and who is too greedy to turn down the salary.)
Oddly, there are a ton of people who think they are incredibly intellectual who support that sort of tyranny. And they ridicule those who don't.
No sympathy for republicans who feel targeted. Why didn't they 86 this outfit when they had more power?
Possibly because they, too, couldn't resist use of this weapon. It is the most obvious and glaring clue to the fact that the parties are more similar than different when it comes to serving the infrastructure of absolute control. Team A or team B, the tools are the same. Result is the same--massive control, reduction of individual rights.
You say there's nothing "we" can do about it? Come on. Think. You absolutely know there is. Too few are willing to take the risk. Massive boycott would carry minimal risk. It is the only way I can see that would work. Maybe there are other ways of which I'm unaware.
So to accept it and claim to be powerless is a lie. Gutless maybe. Not powerless. It takes no gut to go march in a large herd of people chanting whatever Mr/and/or Ms Megaphone says. That won't work. Refusing to feed the monster does take some nerve, but would achieve results. But you could wind up in trouble.
Almost as much trouble as not buying whatever insurance those lunatics demand that you buy, at whatever price they deem fit.
I think starving the monster is the surest way to neutralize it. But who wants to be that kind of weirdo. John Stewart or that sleazy Maher guy might make fun of you. OMG. Big O himself might ridicule you. And the alleged opposition to those creeps certainly won't do you any good. They'll be all wrapped up in what you think of abortion or condoms in schools.
Anymore I see it as Democrats=totalitarian jackboot neo-nazi tyrant lying bastards, and Republicans=idiotic pretend puritan wishy washy spineless untrustworthy hypocrites. Republicans pretend not to be totalitarian socialists, but their actions rarely back that up.
To the credit of democrats they are openly in love with a totalitarian state, and openly approve of censoring enemies and dissent.
Two parties. Choose the slick, clever witty tyrant, or Ronald McDonald.
Don't expect the public to stand up to anything of real substance, like boycotting IRS, or selective service.
No, expect the best they'll do is litter and trash public places, stop traffic, abuse businesses, chant through megaphones, march around in a mob, and claim it is because they are the 99%. And you won't know if they are complaining because there is too much government or too little.
Apparently Occupy is anything you want it to be. I've asked various people who identify with the 99% what that means and what the objective of Occupy is, and I can't get a consistent answer. When I get an answer at all.
Mostly I get angry responses to my questions because I am clearly only the 99% when we are talking percentile in relation to measurements of clever or odd. Oops, but that actually means I'm in the 1%.
I'm not in the wealthiest 1%, but if you compare to the entire world, even our homeless are somewhat well-to-do.
That is not brave, not useful, and does not weaken the monster. You want to put a dent in cronyism, or even corporate abuses, the IRS is the key player.
I hate the sheep minded weakness and cowardice of people more than anything. I like people in general, but I hate the herd mentality that makes most people afraid to look uncool or different, even when they know it is right. You see it on the job every day, in almost every company.
You won't get rich standing on principle, but at least it reduces the number of incidents in the regret column. I do not regret standing for what was right at various job rather than watching people get fired unjustly while I hid behind "just doing my job", or "not my problem", etc. I leave those lame rationalizations to cops, and hapless de facto criminals.
People, I love them in ways, but why are so many so f'ing stupid and afraid to be autonomous and free?
Here's the trap: the group in power won't get rid of this evil organization because it is one of their biggest weapons against opposition, and it is a great source of private information and such which can be used in elections or simple blackmail.
It also controls which charities are deemed worthy, controls how you invest or save, and a whole myriad of life and business choices through a system of not stealing as much from you if you do A rather than B.
It is a tool of behavior modification as well as a legal terror organization. Being the IRS means never having to say you are sorry. They've ruined businesses and lives on rumors which proved wrong, then did nothing to atone.
They've ruined lives because they decided some rule didn't apply in case A but did in case B, based on arbitrary whim of judgement. It has no place among free people or decent people. And everyone actually knows this. They just refuse to admit it.
The group not in power doesn't want to push too hard to get rid of this jackboot operation because of the risk of being targeted and having their lives ruined by the IRS. Everyone is afraid to pull the plug on the out of control machine.
So, imagining that the latest hint of scandal even begins to touch the full story is very wishful, naive thinking. This government organization has been used as a weapon of reprisal by presidents, and others, even before FDR. That was the real motive behind its creation, in my view. Certainly the motive behind how it is structured.
Its very existence, and the nature of the tax code it enforces--a code so complex that no two irs creeps can give the same answers to questions regarding the rules---ensures the perpetuation of corruption and thuggery in government, funded by the taxpayers. I honestly do not see how any person with a shred of integrity can work for that outfit.
"Just doing my job" only goes so far. But that goes for an alarming number of government jobs agencies and projects. "Sorry to unreasonably ruin your life, but I'm just doing my job" (because I'm a spineless c*nt who doesn't have the backbone to refuse, and who is too greedy to turn down the salary.)
Oddly, there are a ton of people who think they are incredibly intellectual who support that sort of tyranny. And they ridicule those who don't.
No sympathy for republicans who feel targeted. Why didn't they 86 this outfit when they had more power?
Possibly because they, too, couldn't resist use of this weapon. It is the most obvious and glaring clue to the fact that the parties are more similar than different when it comes to serving the infrastructure of absolute control. Team A or team B, the tools are the same. Result is the same--massive control, reduction of individual rights.
You say there's nothing "we" can do about it? Come on. Think. You absolutely know there is. Too few are willing to take the risk. Massive boycott would carry minimal risk. It is the only way I can see that would work. Maybe there are other ways of which I'm unaware.
So to accept it and claim to be powerless is a lie. Gutless maybe. Not powerless. It takes no gut to go march in a large herd of people chanting whatever Mr/and/or Ms Megaphone says. That won't work. Refusing to feed the monster does take some nerve, but would achieve results. But you could wind up in trouble.
Almost as much trouble as not buying whatever insurance those lunatics demand that you buy, at whatever price they deem fit.
I think starving the monster is the surest way to neutralize it. But who wants to be that kind of weirdo. John Stewart or that sleazy Maher guy might make fun of you. OMG. Big O himself might ridicule you. And the alleged opposition to those creeps certainly won't do you any good. They'll be all wrapped up in what you think of abortion or condoms in schools.
Anymore I see it as Democrats=totalitarian jackboot neo-nazi tyrant lying bastards, and Republicans=idiotic pretend puritan wishy washy spineless untrustworthy hypocrites. Republicans pretend not to be totalitarian socialists, but their actions rarely back that up.
To the credit of democrats they are openly in love with a totalitarian state, and openly approve of censoring enemies and dissent.
Two parties. Choose the slick, clever witty tyrant, or Ronald McDonald.
Don't expect the public to stand up to anything of real substance, like boycotting IRS, or selective service.
No, expect the best they'll do is litter and trash public places, stop traffic, abuse businesses, chant through megaphones, march around in a mob, and claim it is because they are the 99%. And you won't know if they are complaining because there is too much government or too little.
Apparently Occupy is anything you want it to be. I've asked various people who identify with the 99% what that means and what the objective of Occupy is, and I can't get a consistent answer. When I get an answer at all.
Mostly I get angry responses to my questions because I am clearly only the 99% when we are talking percentile in relation to measurements of clever or odd. Oops, but that actually means I'm in the 1%.
I'm not in the wealthiest 1%, but if you compare to the entire world, even our homeless are somewhat well-to-do.
That is not brave, not useful, and does not weaken the monster. You want to put a dent in cronyism, or even corporate abuses, the IRS is the key player.
I hate the sheep minded weakness and cowardice of people more than anything. I like people in general, but I hate the herd mentality that makes most people afraid to look uncool or different, even when they know it is right. You see it on the job every day, in almost every company.
You won't get rich standing on principle, but at least it reduces the number of incidents in the regret column. I do not regret standing for what was right at various job rather than watching people get fired unjustly while I hid behind "just doing my job", or "not my problem", etc. I leave those lame rationalizations to cops, and hapless de facto criminals.
People, I love them in ways, but why are so many so f'ing stupid and afraid to be autonomous and free?
Monday, May 13, 2013
It's Summertime
In east San Diego county that means in the 90s during the day down in the 60's or 50's eventually at night these days. Takes awhile to get the inside cooled down. Place is well insulated but no a/c.
Once I finish this massive clean up/sort/get rid of the useless stuff, I must build the long planned fountain which can serve as a mister and cooler when fans blow over it. Low humidity makes that method of cooling possible. Air conditioners are still the best, but with the power company employing "smart meters" to screw you for using power when you really need it, I doubt I'll push to install a portable unit here. It would just give cause to raise the rent.
I'm not ready for what looks like a very hot summer. Oh well. Life goes on.
Once I finish this massive clean up/sort/get rid of the useless stuff, I must build the long planned fountain which can serve as a mister and cooler when fans blow over it. Low humidity makes that method of cooling possible. Air conditioners are still the best, but with the power company employing "smart meters" to screw you for using power when you really need it, I doubt I'll push to install a portable unit here. It would just give cause to raise the rent.
I'm not ready for what looks like a very hot summer. Oh well. Life goes on.
There Are Fun Times
Last Saturday I attended the open mic in Rancho San Diego by the Starbucks. They asked in advance if I wanted a time slot to perform and said I guess not. They put me down anyway.
Unlike the others who play, I never know what I'll do until I do it. I'd finished writing a song, at least the lyrics, on Friday. The melody eluded me, even though I had some clue of what I'd like. Even so I couldn't formulate it in my mind.
Fortunately, I didn't know I had a slot until a fews minutes prior. My intention was to just play a random key harp for ten minutes or so with a drummer backing me and nothing else.
On impulse I decided to see if I remembered the words to my song. I sang it a cappella and a melody emerged. It actually went over well. I was in a rare mood, shameless, I guess.
Then I riffed a short bit in A minor, a longer bit in E minor, then even longer in A--using a D harp. That morphed from just made up stuff into Amazing Grace, into Shortenin Bread, and eventually into the Star Spangled Banner, with no stops in between--just jamming around and working into one or the other.
People actually stood for the national anthem, many singing along. It worked better than I could imagine. Then I quit while I was ahead.
Later I hit Parky's since Mockingbird had a gig there and had mentioned me sitting in. I figured they'd forget or change their minds. That little place was packed. Diego the guitar player spotted me hiding toward the back and I ended up sitting in on maybe 5 tunes, one of which I'd heard previously. It worked well and I left in a very good mood.
They had the place jumping. Couldn't have gone better. It was a good quality crowd too, very short on riffraff.
the end
.
Unlike the others who play, I never know what I'll do until I do it. I'd finished writing a song, at least the lyrics, on Friday. The melody eluded me, even though I had some clue of what I'd like. Even so I couldn't formulate it in my mind.
Fortunately, I didn't know I had a slot until a fews minutes prior. My intention was to just play a random key harp for ten minutes or so with a drummer backing me and nothing else.
On impulse I decided to see if I remembered the words to my song. I sang it a cappella and a melody emerged. It actually went over well. I was in a rare mood, shameless, I guess.
Then I riffed a short bit in A minor, a longer bit in E minor, then even longer in A--using a D harp. That morphed from just made up stuff into Amazing Grace, into Shortenin Bread, and eventually into the Star Spangled Banner, with no stops in between--just jamming around and working into one or the other.
People actually stood for the national anthem, many singing along. It worked better than I could imagine. Then I quit while I was ahead.
Later I hit Parky's since Mockingbird had a gig there and had mentioned me sitting in. I figured they'd forget or change their minds. That little place was packed. Diego the guitar player spotted me hiding toward the back and I ended up sitting in on maybe 5 tunes, one of which I'd heard previously. It worked well and I left in a very good mood.
They had the place jumping. Couldn't have gone better. It was a good quality crowd too, very short on riffraff.
the end
.
Eating Cake; idol worship
It is astounding, if not nauseating, to watch how people will defend any action their chosen team or leaders take, just because that's their team.
The most egregious examples, lately, would be the Chris Matthews genre of Obama worship, and the HuffPo brand of party worship, and truth laundering in relation to the Team. It goes both ways, but O is in power, the head of an administration which is obviously so thirsty for power they'd damn near kill for it.
Whenever they are called out for lying, disregarding constitutional limits on their power, etc., they immediately claim the other team is out to get them, and (bizarrely) paranoid.
This is how presidents and power groups have gotten away with murder and mayhem in this country. People tend to ignore anything their team might do. The first and most common defense is to say, "what about when the other team's captain did this? You didn't complain then!"
Obviously that doesn't address the issue, but it seems to work. But quite often both teams are involved in some initiative, then if it doesn't work out, the minority team points blame at the team in power, pretending they were in no way involved. Iraq is a great example of that.
I don't know how that worked because I don't know what end result was expected.
There are hints that Bush thought they'd be a mideast version of some small peaceful heartland USA town by now.
I'm phobic so I figured that no matter what help or hindrance you offer fanatic lunatics, they are still lunatics and prone to mass psychosis. I must not be alone in that view because this view was at the heart of the lies about the consulate attack in Libya.
Oh, they hated the awful video so they all started jumping up and down in the streets and next thing you know they launched a mortar attack and killed people.
But we can't just point out the provable and obvious, that both Clinton and Obama knew that was a lie, yet they promoted it, even to the point of blathering the nonsense at the nonsensical UN.
I really have no respect for the UN, and I know that puts me as an iffy character in the mind of another organization that deserves no respect, Homeland Security.
Geez. These people are not your family. It is OK to let them be responsible for their actions. Let the consequences be whatever. Why the blind loyalty and protection? It is asinine to keep insisting racist motives and such.
I'm not a promoter of republicans and I think Obama is a wannabe dictator. I do. However I do not think he's a lone ranger in such efforts. Messiah complex or no, figureheads are rarely a complete force unto themselves.
But I know his people have lied openly and that they've sought unlawful power openly. That is not admirable.
But what about Bush? WMD? Or Iran-Contra? They don't even hammer him for things I would, like why he let Johnny Sutton keep his job, and why didn't he pardon the innocent, etc.
Still, that's the defense for Obama abominations--what about Boooosh?. I'd say 'idiots', but it is more a form of insecure zealotry at play. I think I'll hold my anger and just call them other names; fascist fuquits. (short u in first syllable)
The real reason to avoid bullying as a kid is because many of the victims grow up to seek lifelong revenge through politics and law. Many of the bullies manage to continue abusing humanity through those same means, if they are smart enough to handle school and stay out of prison. Lots of the others just become drunks and cops.
Remember the bumper stickers that said, "Question Authority"? Now those same people are in lockstep with those who think such slogans represent threats to national security=Obama's image, and they seek to silence dissent. Obama himself says ignore the voices of those who suggest that there is tyranny in the government.
I guess I more say F%^$ Authority, than question. I questioned long ago, time and time again, with the same answer over and over again. They just won't mind their own affairs and stay out of mine.
The most egregious examples, lately, would be the Chris Matthews genre of Obama worship, and the HuffPo brand of party worship, and truth laundering in relation to the Team. It goes both ways, but O is in power, the head of an administration which is obviously so thirsty for power they'd damn near kill for it.
Whenever they are called out for lying, disregarding constitutional limits on their power, etc., they immediately claim the other team is out to get them, and (bizarrely) paranoid.
This is how presidents and power groups have gotten away with murder and mayhem in this country. People tend to ignore anything their team might do. The first and most common defense is to say, "what about when the other team's captain did this? You didn't complain then!"
Obviously that doesn't address the issue, but it seems to work. But quite often both teams are involved in some initiative, then if it doesn't work out, the minority team points blame at the team in power, pretending they were in no way involved. Iraq is a great example of that.
I don't know how that worked because I don't know what end result was expected.
There are hints that Bush thought they'd be a mideast version of some small peaceful heartland USA town by now.
I'm phobic so I figured that no matter what help or hindrance you offer fanatic lunatics, they are still lunatics and prone to mass psychosis. I must not be alone in that view because this view was at the heart of the lies about the consulate attack in Libya.
Oh, they hated the awful video so they all started jumping up and down in the streets and next thing you know they launched a mortar attack and killed people.
But we can't just point out the provable and obvious, that both Clinton and Obama knew that was a lie, yet they promoted it, even to the point of blathering the nonsense at the nonsensical UN.
I really have no respect for the UN, and I know that puts me as an iffy character in the mind of another organization that deserves no respect, Homeland Security.
Geez. These people are not your family. It is OK to let them be responsible for their actions. Let the consequences be whatever. Why the blind loyalty and protection? It is asinine to keep insisting racist motives and such.
I'm not a promoter of republicans and I think Obama is a wannabe dictator. I do. However I do not think he's a lone ranger in such efforts. Messiah complex or no, figureheads are rarely a complete force unto themselves.
But I know his people have lied openly and that they've sought unlawful power openly. That is not admirable.
But what about Bush? WMD? Or Iran-Contra? They don't even hammer him for things I would, like why he let Johnny Sutton keep his job, and why didn't he pardon the innocent, etc.
Still, that's the defense for Obama abominations--what about Boooosh?. I'd say 'idiots', but it is more a form of insecure zealotry at play. I think I'll hold my anger and just call them other names; fascist fuquits. (short u in first syllable)
The real reason to avoid bullying as a kid is because many of the victims grow up to seek lifelong revenge through politics and law. Many of the bullies manage to continue abusing humanity through those same means, if they are smart enough to handle school and stay out of prison. Lots of the others just become drunks and cops.
Remember the bumper stickers that said, "Question Authority"? Now those same people are in lockstep with those who think such slogans represent threats to national security=Obama's image, and they seek to silence dissent. Obama himself says ignore the voices of those who suggest that there is tyranny in the government.
I guess I more say F%^$ Authority, than question. I questioned long ago, time and time again, with the same answer over and over again. They just won't mind their own affairs and stay out of mine.
Friday, May 10, 2013
Genius. Really
This lady explains things that I have never been able to express properly. Or maybe I have and I encountered the same genre of reactions and fears she describes.
There is not a 100% literal correlation between her post and my life, but it is way closer than you might think. Except, with me, it has come and gone many times, and lasted even longer. Remember, we are not talking literal correlations. I never had dinosaur toys, and didn't talk to the ones I had.
So, if it is of any interest, by referring you to her blog I'm blurting out a half hearted confession, I think. Today I feel less like the condition she describes, but not much less.
So go here http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/
She is absolutely brilliant and there aren't so many words. She has fabulous, hilarious illustrations and it isn't boring like some of my stuff can be.
The text, though, is very well written. This chick is definitely a cut or two above.
Whoever she is, I think I love her because she explains what haunts me. A lot. And she makes me laugh, and she draws pictures with easy to read text.
Others must like her. 5000 comments on 1 entry? She typically only gets 2000 or so.
Yea. I know she's way younger, twenty something or maybe thirty something. I love her anyway.
There is not a 100% literal correlation between her post and my life, but it is way closer than you might think. Except, with me, it has come and gone many times, and lasted even longer. Remember, we are not talking literal correlations. I never had dinosaur toys, and didn't talk to the ones I had.
So, if it is of any interest, by referring you to her blog I'm blurting out a half hearted confession, I think. Today I feel less like the condition she describes, but not much less.
So go here http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/
She is absolutely brilliant and there aren't so many words. She has fabulous, hilarious illustrations and it isn't boring like some of my stuff can be.
The text, though, is very well written. This chick is definitely a cut or two above.
Whoever she is, I think I love her because she explains what haunts me. A lot. And she makes me laugh, and she draws pictures with easy to read text.
Others must like her. 5000 comments on 1 entry? She typically only gets 2000 or so.
Yea. I know she's way younger, twenty something or maybe thirty something. I love her anyway.
Thursday, May 9, 2013
De-Programmed
For some time now I have avoided any TV show with a laff track. Intellectually, and I'm no major intellect, I find it condescending and insulting. Really? You think I need to be cued and prodded to spot humor?
OK. So I don't like the canned laughter. Secretly, I thought that push come to shove I could deal with it in a pinch.
I wanted some background entertainment as I tackle the 400 and some square feet of mess which has terrorized me for who knows how long. I saw a show that looked interesting on Hulu, and I did the proper sequence of clicks to get 'er rolling. Then I went to brew a pot of espresso. OH MY GOD.
The initial dialog was mildly interesting, for about 3 seconds. Then it happened. I heard the fake laughter. It grated on my nerves far worse than fingernails scratching across a blackboard ever have. It made my skin crawl, my stomach felt nauseous, my head began to threaten serious ache.
I leaped through the clutter to shut that show down. Then I breathed a sigh of relief, suddenly becoming aware that on top of all else, the canned laughter had stopped my breathing.
Over the years most of us who view even a moderate amount of television have become conditioned to take the laff track as normal, not giving it a second thought. I realized that I have become de-programmed, like those kids that get kidnapped back from religious cults by their families. It takes some serious de-programming for many of them, and that may be more serious.
The point is, I was once conditioned to not only accept the laff track, but to chuckle along with it. That cannot be good.
I feel like I've achieved something. A little victory earning me more control of my life and psyche. I won't say empowered because that word generally annoys the hell out of me. Kind of like "you go girl!" does. That's got sexist overtones, and is generally uttered by some wannabe doing that waggle thing. Obnoxious.
Maybe I really am achieving freedom a small bit at a time.
OK. So I don't like the canned laughter. Secretly, I thought that push come to shove I could deal with it in a pinch.
I wanted some background entertainment as I tackle the 400 and some square feet of mess which has terrorized me for who knows how long. I saw a show that looked interesting on Hulu, and I did the proper sequence of clicks to get 'er rolling. Then I went to brew a pot of espresso. OH MY GOD.
The initial dialog was mildly interesting, for about 3 seconds. Then it happened. I heard the fake laughter. It grated on my nerves far worse than fingernails scratching across a blackboard ever have. It made my skin crawl, my stomach felt nauseous, my head began to threaten serious ache.
I leaped through the clutter to shut that show down. Then I breathed a sigh of relief, suddenly becoming aware that on top of all else, the canned laughter had stopped my breathing.
Over the years most of us who view even a moderate amount of television have become conditioned to take the laff track as normal, not giving it a second thought. I realized that I have become de-programmed, like those kids that get kidnapped back from religious cults by their families. It takes some serious de-programming for many of them, and that may be more serious.
The point is, I was once conditioned to not only accept the laff track, but to chuckle along with it. That cannot be good.
I feel like I've achieved something. A little victory earning me more control of my life and psyche. I won't say empowered because that word generally annoys the hell out of me. Kind of like "you go girl!" does. That's got sexist overtones, and is generally uttered by some wannabe doing that waggle thing. Obnoxious.
Maybe I really am achieving freedom a small bit at a time.
A Tale of Two Harps in a Datsun 510 Wagon
Once upon a time, on a dark, rainy night in Greensboro, N.C. I found myself and my old Datsun up on that hill which served as the parking lot for New York Pizza--eatery and pub. Maybe it was summertime, or autumn. It was definitely night time.
My friend Joel and I were there for reasons which I do not recall. Maybe he does. Whatever the original reason, we decided to attempt a 2 harmonica jam. At that time, I guess I considered Joel somewhat of a protege on bluesharp. By then he already surpassed me in certain respects. From the start he was the only harp player I knew who had sense enough to make it work when two harps play. Normally multiple blues harps make worse noise than cat in heat, fighting.
That night we developed some kind of groove which evolved and got wild. I closed my eyes and felt like I was flying. I remember I pushed myself to do things I didn't know I could do. My heart was in it. Time lost meaning and I can't say if we were there for a minute or hours.
All I know is that, at some point, I opened my eyes and it was raining, and people were standing outside the car cheering or applauding. Where did they come from? And standing in the rain listening to us! That felt pretty good.
I have no idea what we played. Joel is very good with solid, funky rhythm. He kept it moving and kept the rhythm working, which gave me something to work with, I think. He did that better than I've ever been able to.
There was something magical about that little concert. My friend won't let me forget it. He seems to think I was channeling something special that night. He has also commented that, while I may be better now, he wonders if I ever really pour my heart out like that any more because he hasn't seen it in any videos.
I argued, of course, that he didn't know what he was talking about, but I figured out he is right. Or was. I like much of the more disciplined stuff I'm doing, but that feeling of really letting go is rare rare rare.
Very hard to describe that state of being, but it is why I play--hoping to feel a little of that. How it sounds, I don't know, but how it feels I do know. It is addictive to the point where I play stuff that doesn't move me at all, hoping for a chance to sail into wonderland. Sometimes years go by without a taste of it.
Lately, I've brushed up against that place a few times. Mostly because Joel was pushing me to let go and do it. Good thing he's still in NC. I wouldn't put up with such advice in person. I don't care if he has a point.
That night was like a step away from time. It was as if nothing existed. Strange. That was almost half my lifetime ago.
Still, I remember the way it felt.
My friend Joel and I were there for reasons which I do not recall. Maybe he does. Whatever the original reason, we decided to attempt a 2 harmonica jam. At that time, I guess I considered Joel somewhat of a protege on bluesharp. By then he already surpassed me in certain respects. From the start he was the only harp player I knew who had sense enough to make it work when two harps play. Normally multiple blues harps make worse noise than cat in heat, fighting.
That night we developed some kind of groove which evolved and got wild. I closed my eyes and felt like I was flying. I remember I pushed myself to do things I didn't know I could do. My heart was in it. Time lost meaning and I can't say if we were there for a minute or hours.
All I know is that, at some point, I opened my eyes and it was raining, and people were standing outside the car cheering or applauding. Where did they come from? And standing in the rain listening to us! That felt pretty good.
I have no idea what we played. Joel is very good with solid, funky rhythm. He kept it moving and kept the rhythm working, which gave me something to work with, I think. He did that better than I've ever been able to.
There was something magical about that little concert. My friend won't let me forget it. He seems to think I was channeling something special that night. He has also commented that, while I may be better now, he wonders if I ever really pour my heart out like that any more because he hasn't seen it in any videos.
I argued, of course, that he didn't know what he was talking about, but I figured out he is right. Or was. I like much of the more disciplined stuff I'm doing, but that feeling of really letting go is rare rare rare.
Very hard to describe that state of being, but it is why I play--hoping to feel a little of that. How it sounds, I don't know, but how it feels I do know. It is addictive to the point where I play stuff that doesn't move me at all, hoping for a chance to sail into wonderland. Sometimes years go by without a taste of it.
Lately, I've brushed up against that place a few times. Mostly because Joel was pushing me to let go and do it. Good thing he's still in NC. I wouldn't put up with such advice in person. I don't care if he has a point.
That night was like a step away from time. It was as if nothing existed. Strange. That was almost half my lifetime ago.
Still, I remember the way it felt.
Another new Music Kick
While I still find Los Lonely Boys often produce music that suits my soul like no other, I'm on a bit of a Leonard Cohen kick at the moment.
I've always liked lyrics which ring of superior poetic substance. Lenny does that well. It usually has lustful overtones, which also suits me just fine.
Like many artists I feel his political bent is somewhat naive, yet well meaning, but what can you do. That's why I do not put politics in any songs I write or sing. At least so far. It queers the deal.
OK. The jig is up. Got to get to cleaning and detrashing and de-filthing my abode. They are painting stuff tomorrow and no getting out of opening the door for them because they are going to paint it.
This is good. Whatever illness it is that makes me punish myself by being so insanely negligent when it comes to maintaining my personal environment and affairs is temporarily put at bay when THEY close in---witnesses who aren't likely to tolerate or make excuses for the results of my bad habits.
So, I'm pumped. Life gets better.
.
I've always liked lyrics which ring of superior poetic substance. Lenny does that well. It usually has lustful overtones, which also suits me just fine.
Like many artists I feel his political bent is somewhat naive, yet well meaning, but what can you do. That's why I do not put politics in any songs I write or sing. At least so far. It queers the deal.
OK. The jig is up. Got to get to cleaning and detrashing and de-filthing my abode. They are painting stuff tomorrow and no getting out of opening the door for them because they are going to paint it.
This is good. Whatever illness it is that makes me punish myself by being so insanely negligent when it comes to maintaining my personal environment and affairs is temporarily put at bay when THEY close in---witnesses who aren't likely to tolerate or make excuses for the results of my bad habits.
So, I'm pumped. Life gets better.
.
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About Me
- John0 Juanderlust
- Ballistic Mountain, CA, United States
- Like spring on a summer's day
