Out My Front Door

Finally replaced the molding around the front door casing.  The place is looking spiffy.

Some people wonder why a tenant would put out such effort on a place he is renting.  Here is how I look at it:
I searched for a place upon arriving here in south SoCal based upon a few specific parameters.  I wanted a free standing cottage, guest house, or similar structure.  Big apartment complexes were out, and I hoped to find something which was handled by the owner, not a management firm.  In all but one case in my vast rental history, owner operator has been a better tenant experience.

never posted the view along the right hand, east side, facing north, of the cabin. Should have done a wider view.  Just off frame to the right is a huge boulder that provides shade, and then the terrain rises with some shrubbery.

Also, by being a tenant who fixed his own problems, I received glowing recommendations from the previous owner-landlord;  "Oh, we miss having him here.".   So, if I have to hit the road, these people might say the same.  I did charge them the materials and a few dollars.  Not much, but they paid a little extra.  Still just a fraction of what even illegals--err, undocumented--workers would have charged.  And my overall work and clean up is better.  I do the jobs they won't do.  Backwards from what you hear.

OK.  So I discovered that I could find more prospective abodes on craigslist than anywhere else.  I began my search targeting the Pt Loma, Ocean Beach area.  Another condition was that I hoped to avoid a noisy hole in the wall cramped in with lots of other people everywhere.  Due to price, etc., I kept widening my search area.

those are roses of some kind wrapping the posts of the entrance.  we're top drawer here in ballisticland.

I did not find suitable places until I expanded the search pretty far east.  I was a little skeptical when I had to drive a mile up a winding, rather vertical dirt road.  But as soon as I entered the place I all but begged to rent it.  And it was the best price.  Nothing else was half as cool as this.  I fear I like it too much, but I am used to picking up and moving should they kick me out for whatever reason.

By doing things they don't have much time to do, I help them value having me here, plus I get a sense of satisfaction and am a baby step closer to luring hot chicks to ballisticMountain.  Heck, maybe even the right one will show up.  Could be that happened and I was unprepared and someone might give it another go.  Who knows.

such a deceptive front face. The place is bigger inside, and has plenty of window area--two large picture windows and a screen door in back, but I've shown the view out the back in previous posts.  Few care--this is personal therapy.

I really do good work.  They had a company spray paint the front of the door and I cleaned and sanded and painted all the white stuff plus painting the shed door blue and painting all the white stuff over there.  The molding fits like a champ.  Heck of a job, ...

I say all this because I make the effort to face and appreciate my surroundings when I'm cycling into something dark.  It doesn't fool me, but it has a lot of power over my mood and my attempts to be constructive.  I step outside myself and say what I would if I wasn't me, "Look, you idiot--I word, if you prefer--you're in exactly the circumstances you wanted.  Let go of the sadness and idea that you shouldn't exist.  Work on the things you thought could be done in such a setting."

Hoping that some great woman will "get" me is futile.  I don't get me.  One than can handle it and likes me in spite of myself and who doesn't have ultra rigid likes and dislikes to the point of dogma and hard judgement may exist.  Maybe I'll make some effort to find such a dame as my surroundings become more sociable, logical, and of use.  (can one still use the word "dame" without some sort of reprisal?)

*******JT in NC sent this, and although I wonder if such a contest really to place, I find the definition better than anything I can dream up.
There's an annual contest at the Griffith University, Australia, calling for the most appropriate definition of a contemporary term.

This year's term was "political correctness".

The winning student wrote: "Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rapidly promoted by a mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a piece of shit by the clean end."

Unbelievable, and I Think He Did The Right Thing

So, the feds want to start a criminal investigation on the guy who exposed their secret criminal activity.  That's rich.

The unbelievable part is not that government agencies play favorites, harass select people and groups, or that they overstep their bounds in collecting private info on average citizens without probable cause.

What is unbelievable is that the same people who decried the stretch of such power under Bush now defend Obama, who has taken things where Bush left off and expanded the scope of such skullduggery.

I do not equate Manning and Snowden because I don't think Manning personally reviewed everything and he may have put lives at risk.  Whether Manning did the right thing or not, I don't know at this time.  Snowden, however disclosed crimes against the Constitution and the People.  Domestic spying is over the line.  Those who say you have nothing to worry about if you've done nothing wrong are either morons or they lack hindsight, life experience, or they stand to benefit.

The really crazy thing is to realize that a secret court, with secret judges, makes secret rulings on secret projects that may involve collecting the private information of citizens without their knowledge.  And there is no way to legally combat it in the courts because it is all f'ng SECRET!

But, surprised, I am not.  People have considered me a fringe thinker, and paranoid forever because I have suggested that extreme and massive control of individuals by the state is the direction we've been headed for a very long time.

I'm stunned that Obama worshippers are so afraid their little bubble will be burst if they face the truth; he's another in a long line of puppets that won't put an end to this kind of abuse of power.  To them it is all about party and Obama.  To me it is not.

It is about the erosion of principles, and the foolishness of expanding the scope of the state's power rather than seeking to maintain and reinforce the checks on its power.

It is a lie that every member of congress was briefed on such activities.  Only certain committees and a couple of high ranking posts in house and senate.   And they were sworn to secrecy, because it is all SECRET.

So they couldn't very well go campaign against what was going on because it was a secret they had to keep or face consequences--and none had the cajones to face consequences; although I think there were a couple who tried to hint that there was trouble in River City.  At least one was a democrat.  The fact that there are not sufficient, if any, restrictions on what government, and government agencies can do is not a thing of one of the two bogus parties.

Ignore the grandstanding.  It isn't like republicans had nothing to do with this evolution of the collective monster.

Despite the insulting spin, white house double talk, and the complacency and ignorance of the public, I'm somewhat enthused to see these things come to light in a way that only a hopeless codependent could ignore.

Played a Little Last Saturday

A guy took a lot of photos of people, many of which were excellent.  I won't show you them since you don't know them and I don't want to.

Several people sat in with us, and how it sounded, I don't know.  If the sound matches how it felt, we're on to something.  In any case it was the most fun playing I've had in some time. Pays to lay out a week or two.

Playing that Suzuki pro-master C harp I found in the router box.  Like new but has to be over a decade old.  Fanatstic harp.  First time played in public.

(for critics and purists--yes I hold it wrong. and I use left hand for the effects rather than right hand. it works for me and feels right, so that is how it goes)

 Cliff is one of those people who is the part--the look is not an affectation.  It was an interesting little session.  We did thirty minutes.  He played a song I wrote--Mr. Sleazy.  He came up with the music.  I wrote it in Memphis and got into a big blowout with that guitar player because I didn't like they way he wanted to do it, and the fact he was kind of hijacking the thing.  Cliff is a different story.  He came up with several versions before I gave in.  Surprisingly, it was a big crowd favorite.  But when Cliff is performing, he has that air about him that makes people of all ilks want to like it, and they usually do.

So, I'm still in life improvement mode.  More to sort, but no backsliding, and working like crazy this week over in Rancho Trophy Spouse.  And changes is how I approach basic life are still manifesting.  I'm much less frozen and negligent.  

Out My Back Door

The pic of the front of the place got lost, and then it was too dark to take another shot.

We do have the view if you were standing on the west side facing north, and a shot of the white door on the shed that I painted blue, and the unpainted, and paint flaking off trim around the door which I painted white.

I do not know what any of the stuff outside the shed is, it is not mine.

Again a Gruncle

The youngest of my two rabbit nephews has produced a girl child, with some help from his wife.  His brother has one in the oven which is due to be fully baked sometime in July.  I guess if my wife had been willing when I was, I would have cranked out something.

As it is, I think the perfect Darwinian outcome has been achieved--the better part of the Ballistic gene pool is marching on, while the less suited for long term thriving is weeding itself out of the mix.  That is just fact; not good or bad or poor me.

It is up to me to do the things the better adjusted kin can't wisely chance.  That means following what I feel is the most beneficial.

In the mean time I have a ton of work over in bizarro land, where money is not related to brains or sanity, but the people have more money than they can carry.

The New Me

Ever since M and K came over--3 times, I think, to help me get rolling with organizing and culling, I've felt an internal pressure to maintain and not live like a sad and lonely man.  Well, I still live the life of a sad and lonely guy, but I don't allow some of the trappings.

It spilled over into other parts of my life which I've neglected.  And all of a sudden, I have tons of work.   Hopefully, it will last.  That is my intention.  There is plenty yet to do, but at least I know how and things aren't going backwards.

I can't even leave a dirty pan after I cook.  Right after.  The food waits until everything is cleaned and put away.  I'm getting that down to a quick process.  If stuff is stuck to that pan that needs soaking, then I'll leave it to soak.  When the plate is done, then it all gets handled.

That sounds silly and basic.  To me it is rocket science.

The landlady asked me to paint the wood railing out front and a door to what she calls the bunkhouse.  I think of it as a shed with a nice door.  One of those with 10 windows.  If you see a door like that, and the paint is all flaky and gnarly, don't go out of your way to paint it.  It will take plenty of scraping, then sanding, then sanding some more, and that is just to arrive at the point where you can do an adequate job.

Actually, I enjoyed it.  One side had to be blue and the other white.  That is trickier than it sounds with all the windows.

When she asked, she said they'd pay me to do it.  I never asked how much.  Now she wants to know what they owe.  I'm so glad for how they deal with me, leave me alone yet make every effort to accommodate me, that I can't charge them much more than materials I bought for some of the projects.  I'm also replacing the molding around my front door.

It is some kind of therapy.  Didn't see it coming.

I'm looking at the stone box.  It hasn't always been appreciated, but I see now that it should have.  One friend remembers it and it made a favorable impact.  That is a big deal.  I was quite proud of it when I built it, but I was casting pearls before swine.

I think I tried to give it to more than one girl over the years.  Maybe the box can be my test for The New Mrs Me.  If she digs the box then she's in the running.  If not, I no what the end result of our time will be so I have the choice of hitting the road now or later; either way it is inevitable.

Forgot my original train of thought. Amost none of the foregoing was it.  Old Me and New Me have a lot in common.

Cop Motto

"Protect and Serve" is painted on the doors of police cars in many places.  I guess it is San Diego city that has that.  I don't know about the others or what is on highway patrol.

But how many times when I encountered or observed police were they protecting, or serving?  Not often.  I usually see them hiding, trying catch someone on a traffic violation so they write tickets.   At times they do protect people.  Those are generally the same instances in which their behavior qualifies as serving, I think.

A more accurate motto would be, "Mop Up and Disturb".  Most of the time, when you deal with a cop, it is after a crime was committed, violent or otherwise.  They are mopping up the mess.  Or they are disturbing you, maybe at a roadblock, or when you are minding your own business at an overlook on Sunrise Highway.

Just another example of how we accept language that is way off the mark.

Thank You, whatever you are, etc.

I thought I'd start of with a nod of thanks to whoever and/or whatever has looked after me all this time.  By rights I could be unhealthy, dead, dead more than a few other times, or homeless on the street in any of the listed conditions.  Unhealthy and dead are about all that I listed.  Still, I think I get a lot of milage out of the little bit of constructive effort I exert, and the few good decisions I make.

It really is my own fault that I don't have more to show for my time here on this planet that seems to need saving.  It seems that way to lots of people, but I never would have thought in terms of the planet needing saving--not in those words.

I was writing down ideas for all kinds of recycling products long before Hollywood geniuses were suggesting we use only one square of toilet paper per visit.  Long before they were experts on renewable energy and the evils of exhaling CO2.

That is partially why I believe good engineering and clever business would naturally gravitate toward things that don't require fishing new resources out of the ground as much, and would be cheaper.  It is how the honest inventor thinks, provided his God is not government and public money.  That is how I thought before I found out how it work and went into a decade of pure shock and grief.

I understand the need for certain regulation, to a point, but that does not change the fact that people are, and been, suckered.  Some of it may be the natural flow of things--not conspiracy, not planned, just the result of allowing the system to evolve as it has.  The point is, government influencing industry through subsidies, grants, etc., and over regulating--with chosen members of "the business community sitting in and advising--slows true beneficial progress, and even kills it sometimes.  No way to see that from the outside because the casualties rarely get that far.

Thugs are thugs, whether they be in business or government.   Odd how the thugs of business tend to be in bed with the thugs of government.  Even the good guy who got where they are without that biblical knowledge of politicians and other officials, tend to eventually join the club.

Why do you think that is?  I don't think it is to promote an environment which would give rise to a Steve Jobs or Bill Gates in that industry.

Checking out Huffington Post.  Man, they are so wound up in Democrat vs Republican land they lose sight of why anything is there at all.  Their latest contribution to divisive politics is a poll about who would want to see in Congress.

At first I thought it was a quiz on how much you'd love to see me there, or Batman, or some particular person.  No, it was about what condition of birth would you like to see the members possess.  Seriously?  I would like to see more semi-anarchists, highly libertarian leaning people there.  What does that have to do with women or men?  I'll take all Asian women if that is how they think.

Huffpo tends to group people by ethnicity and sex, then pretend you don't really belong to that group unless you think a certain way.  The way they think; which means when considering what you want from the group that wields power over things some prefer they not, in many cases, first thing you consider is tribal ID, based on race and whether they are male, female, or other.  Huffpo readers would like to see more women there.

I would like to see more restraint, and generally more running things the way I prefer it.  If that unlikely fantasy group turns out to be women, fine. If it is 100% White men, fine, 100% Black men, fine.  The point is, I don't care what they look like.  I care about what they do.  And I'm not even sensitive to the feeling of ethnic groups.  But I am apparently less racist and sexist than a big chunk of the population, and less so that Huffington Post.

Sorry, it was on my mind.

Lots of work for this little period of time.  Work here at behest of landlord.  Work elsewhere because of I don't know what.  And the new me project is still moving toward the goal of neat, tidy, organized, and seductive.  The good things is that I haven't allowed any backsliding on the progress that has been made.  Habits are improving.

Unlike many people, I can change certain habits.  Some are tougher than others.  My advantage is that I have never been anywhere too long, and never tied myself to anything or anyone to the point that I can be all that set in my ways, even if I want to.  That has an obvious downside, but I'm mining the silver lining here.

That fits in with my thought that as much as I'd like to own this cabin, I think I'm better off not owning anything out here.  Too many things trap people in this area and then they almost have no choice but to stay.  There is always a choice.  Just not always a pleasing choice.

That is another thing that blows me away;  we live in a time when ownership of much is punished in many ways, yet the many of owners in this nation tend to support self-punishment.    I'm really not a nut.  People have always pointed at differing viewpoints and labeled the nutcases, often finding in the long run that the nutcase was right.

You'll see that I am right, if you live long enough.  It may take awhile.  Already I'm seeing comments about how insane the idea of getting rid of the IRS and this tax code is.  Some ignorant stuff about how that is putting us back pre-Constitution to the Articles of Confederation.  Hey, there was no income tax for a long time, and they had to ramrod an amendment to the Constitution to get it done.   There are other ways which do not involve abuse, confusion, corruption, and prejudice.

You would not believe how great it feels to walk into this place in the evening or afternoon.  Cool, calm, inviting.  It is like entering another dimension.  From the front, there's no way you'd guess what it is like inside and out back.  The impact is far greater with 90% less clutter than there was.

.

Next In Line, The "I" Word

What passes as sensitivity to narrow groups, and as a hedge against ignorant troublemakers, is pretty much political gaming and power grabbing.  Whatever you call it, free speech is fading fast.

Oh, yes, you can say whatever you want as long as no identifiable voting bloc finds it offensive.  We've got the N word, which is OK for some to say, but not others.  We have a whole host of F words.  Now fag or faggot is the F word.  Looks like we are headed toward the H word with Homo.

Considering these very groups use the words frequently, and some even berate "breeders", again it is OK for some to say it, but a crime for others.

I'm not anti-gay or anti-[insert ethic description here].  I am anti-use-my-condition-of-birth-as-a -weapon-to-enhance-my-victim-status, and get some special treatment.  Just the power of forcing an apology must be irresistibly exhilarating.  These things become absurd.   Nine times out of ten the offended party is not really that offended, and in no way harmed.

But apologies abound.  Condemnations fit for a serial murderer flourish, people lose jobs, people are branded for life.

There may be a business in that--writing and/or delivering apologies for celebrities.  Maybe they were drunk, maybe it was a case of accidentally blurting out a slur in a foreign language.  They don't even have to know it is a slur or a word, like the macaca guy.

Besides, I thought a fag was a British cigarette.  The proper term when applied to a gay male is "fagunia" anyway, however it is rarely uttered anywhere.  Ever.  I'm very politically correct and all about zero tolerance.  I'd have put that kid with toy gun the size of a quarter away for life.

And if he said the H,N,C,F,Q,R,S,T, I, A, etc. word, off with is head!!!  Oh, geez, that was supposed to be absurdly far fetched, but there is a lot of that going on these days.  I heard it may be illegal to express one's islamaphobia on line.  Hurts the civil rights of those who haven't blown themselves up or anyone else.
****more on that at end****

Zero means ZERO!!  And tolerance, well, that depends upon who is expected show tolerance toward whom.  It has become quite a fluid and fickle word.

I don't go around saying N this and that, or homo fag swish, etc. anyway.  I'm not geared toward matters which do not affect me, like your ethnicity or where and how you diddle.   However, I do believe it is a right to say whatever you want about whomever, within the bounds short of slander.  It is your right to call me names, dislike me, like me, and express that how you see fit.

But it has become hate speech if selected groups are the focus of your disdain.  Hate speech is code for "we are buying votes by making you feel powerful as we rip away rights of your detractors".

I think they are fostering racism by playing selectively sensitive, and I hate to see it.  Partly because neither my philosophy nor my trust and faith in a person are in any proportion to what ethnic group, sexual preference situation you are in.  You are either trusted, respected and a friend, or you are something other.  Overall, this trend has set race relations way back.  Every kind of relations; men-women, breeders-fags, black-white, idiot-moron, etc.

So, I am thinking it hurts my feelings when people use the term "IDIOT" in a derogatory fashion.  It hurts my self esteem, and I think it marginalizes a huge portion of the population.  I want it listed as hate speech, and whoever says idiot has to write things a thousand times on the board, and has to mop the sidewalk from here to San Diego.

Idiots are people too you know.  I suggest we be clever and instead of using the word "idiot", we just say, "The I Word", in a lowered voice of course.  Almost a whisper.  And furtively look around for idiots as you say it.

I'd say, "idiots of the world Unite!", but I'm not sure they haven't already done that.



****if I belonged to a religion, and people were continually using that religion as an excuse to be as big a pain the ass to the rest of humanity as possible, I'd change religions.  If I were Catholic and clerics and zealots were shouting "In the Name of Jesus!" as they stoned a woman, or blew up random strangers in public places, and it was a long term trend which showed little sign of changing, I either start a sect called, "Catholics who are not psychopathic homicidal lunatics", or I'd cut myself off from them and not claim that faith.  I wouldn't go, "oh, look at me, I'm so nice, and you are so mean to think we Catholics are a pain in the ass."  I wouldn't just pretend it isn't a problem.

But then, I am no fan of our foreign policy which has enriched weirdo rulers and holy men, been very vague on true purpose, and shown little worthwhile, that I know of, for the effort.

Anyway, I'm a bit skittish about most religions, if they don't have well thought out, hospitable fertility rites.  I'm particularly wary of those faiths which do their best to annoy those to whom they know it is strange, then play all indignant and condemning.  Especially when they are the newcomers to an area.  Talk about lack of sensitivity.  You jump with both feet, forcing customs, people see you as a pain in the ass.

It is annoying any time anyone from outside your country, or other tribal ID, moves in and then starts telling you how to behave, what to change, and how to treat them.  Anyway, I'm a little skittish of a few groups, mostly ones with initials, both churches and not,  

But believing a person or group to be aberrant, misguided, or an unfortunate result of genetic mutation is not the same as expecting to, or even wanting to, limit their natural rights.  The whole conflict comes into play because they don't see anything wrong in forcing others to do as they wish.

Mountain Lion Update

Fish and wildlife visited the site of the goat massacre and confirmed that it was indeed a mountain lion attack.  They found tracks in the area which indicate a mama and cub.

So far they haven't arrested the goat owner for making it hard for the cougar by placing the goat behind a seven foot fence.  That would be par for the course in SoCal, or California altogether.  Few people here tend to recognize the balance when it comes to human survival vs questionable leeway enforced for critters.

They either hate people and think we've invaded the land of bears and squirrels, therefore we should all die.   Or they don't care and would be perfectly happy littering, riding the bumper of the car in front, and shooting anything that moves.  That latter group is mostly transient from the south.

If for any reason I was threatened by a mountain lion and was lucky enough to kill it, I would not notify the authorities for fear of reprisal.  I'm watching for them, though, because it would be cool to see the killer cats cruising through my back yard, which is the Cleveland national forest.