Casting Pearls Before Swine

Seriously, I wonder what I should do about this.  The last 3 or 4 posts here are as good as anything since the stories of Tito Bandito and his perpetual McDonald's soda cup.

The world just keeps going, paying no notice of it.  Probably trying to make me smoke.  Is there no one who is not part of this conspiracy?

I'm going to go see Lone Survivor.  I read some reviews and a few reminded me of a time long ago when Once Upon a Time In the West came out.  It was during a period when it was hip to decry anything slightly violent, unless the violence involved mobs storming administration buildings or snarling and stopping traffic in the name of peace.

Wait.
So it is bad if a politician screws with traffic because someone is not in his camp---could be dangerous and cost lives---but ok when unions or others do it in the name of some self righteous zealotry?  Let's think about one set of standards someday.

Anyway, the film critic at the Miami Herald made such a complaint of the opening scenes of that movie, admittedly walked out in the first 10 minutes,  slammed the flick so hard that it was pulled after just a few days.  It was one of the best of westerns--spaghetti western with Charles Bronson, Henry Fonda and others.  Pure classic.

But it was the pretense of the critics that they were giving original viewpoints, when they were merely echoing the hipster intellectual party line of the time, that was obvious to me.  That kind of trendy pseudo-intellectualism has always made me want to rebel or punch someone.  I see similar idiocy in the language of many of Lone Survivor's reviews.

My response to pandering critics is, I'll see the flick, even though I think our mideast involvement has been insane since probably the 1950s.  Certainly since the 70s.  But that is not the point of the thing.  I do not dislike our policy because I think the cultures and people there are marvelous and wonderful.  I think they are examples of the mass insanity typical of religious fanaticism, and religious states in general.  Especially Islamic states.  Very brutal and backward and impossible.

You cannot deal with religious states, and we should mind our own business, and define "our interests"  little more narrowly.  As it is, we could go to war anywhere in the name of national security and "US interests abroad".  This crap about bringing democracy to everyone in the world is improper on various levels.  For one thing democracy and liberty are not one and same.  For another, if those societies wanted something different they've had many centuries to change things.

So there.  And you can't make me smoke today, so quit trying.

Mama's Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Junkies

This damned keyboard is driving me to sniff glue or point toy guns at the ground while cops shoot me down.  The s and d aren't printing on the screen much of the time.  They know when I'm not watching. That's when they lay out.

It is the keyboard of the laptop.  I have one that plugs in to usb or other port.  I guess I have to break it out finally.  What a pain.

I should not be going through withdrawal at this point but it is monumental today.  And it is making me have to fight myself not to fly into an unfocussed rage.  I tell you, it is the curse of my people; the ones of high cheek bones cursing my light eyes side.

For that reason I do not give in.  The bastards want me to fail.   I am sick of them winning.  They are as obnoxious as the one sided, half truth Obama worship that guy keeps posting on facebook.  Republican this and republican that.  They are all posted from other fanatic sites.  And then they claim, oh look, a 53 billion dollar surplus in dec.  Thank you obama.  Then all the comments go back to republican this and republican that.  Explain how you have a surplus if your debt is in the trillions and not going down?

And leave republicans out of it.  They do not hold the major power, and don't do much to counter the shysters that do.  And that is on the page where everyone plays Mr and Ms Ultra intellectual.  They really do pretty much go off in the vein of angel dancing on the head of a pin, except they always mange to spin it as something regarding republicans; either outright or implied.

So you hate republicans.  I'm not arguing.  But I do think, since we never nailed Bush for things like prosecutor Johnny Sutton's criminal acts and pandering to Mexican crooks, we can avoid the same mistake and hold this group accountable for their gun running fiascos, both in Mexico and, in another context, in Benghazi.  And IRS and NSA abuse; just to scratch the surface.

But nooo. Any mention of any of it and here we go with republican this and republican that and opponents just want to take Obama down because he is black.  What part of bullshit do these sycophants not understand?   It is annoying me to no end today.  It is like a bunch of automatons programmed to parrot the same thing over and over, no matter what facts or questions lie before them.

They want me to smoke.  You think I'm going to do what they want me to do?  No!  They can probably turn that into some republican this and that nonsense.  Obviously they refuse to hold the two teams they think cover the entire gamut of human discourse and thought to equal standards.   A republican can sneeze in a closet and it is some evil racist plot, most likely involving the Koch brothers.  But Pelosi or Feinstein can be making millions off of government favors and any mention is back to republicans this and that and furthermore fox news is bad.

I've never seen anything like it.  And it is all a plot to make people smoke cigarettes, sniff glue and give up.  And you better buy insurance or they'll mess you up so you have to go to the hospital, and then you got some 'splainin' to do.  But they aren't republicans, so that makes it all OK.  That is, apparently, the whole democratic platform; we aren't republicans and every screwed up, corrupt, crony ridden act we make is not our fault.  It is all because republicans hate women, puppies, old people ("seniors" barf), the children, education, art, and they love mass murder.

These are people who probably do well at scrabble and other smarty pants contests, yet they continually pump out this one sided, half true or totally false nonsense.  They sincerely believe that you can run the US like a small european state and that making everyone but them pay for it is going to be utopia.  They must be on grants.

I want a grant to research how not to smoke when the Man and his herd of elitist sheep drive you over the edge.

==============
Been reading Roxanne's dad's books about the airlines and his life.  What a cool guy.  A movie should be made without a doubt.  Really something, I think.  Most WWII veteran airline pilots were 1st class jerks.  Heroes, sometimes, but total ego-swelled pricks.  I knew many, including my own dear dad, pbuh.  Facts are facts.  Papa of Roxanne was not like that.
I don't know why Roxanne isn't putting the full court press on me.  She really should.  If she isn't totally nuts we'd be good.  If I had a game, I'd step it up.  Friggin subliminal attack is not yielding any obvious results.  She's probably in on the make-John-smoke conspiracy.  Not sure if she has high cheek bones.  I only know I do because some people said so.  I don't even know what that means.

In any case, papa Roxanne is an excellent example of how to live your life.  I'm sure it hasn't all been roses, but I think he's kept his end of every bargain, and been gentle and forgiving of those who may have fallen short.  Although he probably held a hard line at times.  He married someone who never quit being ultra attractive, and probably hasn't spent a boring moment since birth.  And he has good looking daughters, and a son that did quite well.

So, the ones who can't address an envelope without going off on republican this and that, the ones who want a king, Roxanne, the Cherokee nation, and maybe the Sioux, are all trying to make me smoke.  This is now a battle of wits, and I think it inconceivable that I will lose.  Been taking DHA to make my brain optimal.  They have no chance.

Dancing on the Head of a Pin

Back in the good old days, maybe during the medieval period or similar era, supposedly intellectuals and philosophers of the day debated topics like "How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?".

Later the topic arose as indication of the superiority of more modern intellectuals as a form of derision toward their predecessors.  Don't be fooled.  The self appointed elite never ceased in such egocentric dialog.

{People forget just how rare freedom to improve one's lot in life was back in the pre-automobile, pre-electric, and pre-American Revolution times.  You could probably get away with more in many ways because technology of official control and oversight was rather weak and ineffective.  They couldn't afford to have government agents hiding in the woods hoping to catch speeding buggies, or horses with a missing shoe.

It has taken us a long time, but much of the ideology which switched us from being considered subservient subjects to being autonomous individual citizens did influence world thought, including ending slavery in most places.  Though it is still prevalent in parts of Africa, the mideast and asia.  Unfortunately, the basic premises of individual liberty have been lost or convoluted under the power structure which evolved in spite of the Constitution. (not because of, as some nincompoops claim)}

But we don't hear much about the people who accomplished the mundane things of life, like market the first toilet paper.  We hear about the geniuses who could take a topic, like angels dancing on a pin, and employ very deep, complicated analysis to it, so that a normal person happening upon such a discussion would conclude that he was too ignorant and devoid of intelligence to even understand the topic, let alone venture an opinion.  The topics may not be the same, but lawyers and doctors and academicians, among others, built much of their industries upon such linguistic and philosophical tactics.

And that has been the trick employed by manipulators of people and public principle, as well as academia, ever since.  Had I not undergone extensive testing, for simple yet complex reasons, I would have forever believed that such people were far more intelligent than I.   I always found the ones who convolute the issue at hand with a myriad of obscure, and often irrelevant bits of information highly annoying.  Now I know why.  They are annoying, and not as smart as they'd have you believe.

It is the vanity of many in academia, and people all over the internet, to swamp a discussion with alleged facts which avoid the principle at hand, and are half truths which really require a separate analysis on their own.  Throw in some LOL, and reference to unhip political opponents, and bammo, you've won the day without making a single legitimate point.

Sometimes I see academic types who have to reference obscure literary works or other esoteric references when discussing things with which they personally have little knowledge;  blue collar jobs, being poor, hazards of racial violence, running a small business, etc.  But they know the answers, and how others feel.  Their nonsense is so steeped in rhetoric that only masters of the expert level of Trivia would know, it tends to cause one to shrink away from commenting or disputing their marxian conclusions.

I have a lot of trouble using what intelligence I have.  Maybe I'm too stupid to know how.  It did open my eyes a bit when two separate, unaffiliated shrinks tested me about a year apart and exclaimed the same thing, which would indicate that these annoying academic types, insulated from real life, have absolutely nothing on me in capacity to know or learn.   I do have my glitches, but that is another story.

The point is that much of the world is run by purveyors of fine print, and coded language which only serves to dupe others, feed egos, and generally steal and mislead.  I observed a thread discussing the war on poverty, and why are there so many poor people?

They went into all kinds of mumbo jumbo, analysis of the lack of apprenticeship opportunities due to manufacturing moving overseas, and using words like "vector" and on and on.  I envisioned a pompous pipe smoker, mumbling in a country club voice, sipping scotch, chilling out in the smoking jacket.

Obviously, these guys had never worked where I've worked, closely examined public schools, or been stranded in pockets of either white or black redneck areas.  They never tried to legally go from homeless to self sufficient with their own transportation only to discover that fees and taxes and official hoops doubled the initial cost of existence.   They, like most people, never considered those who really want to better their lot, but do not want to go to a government agency and be humiliated, second guessed, treated like a truant child, and lose what shred of self respect they have left.

How many programs and initiatives have to be lost in bureaucratic insanity before the dancing pin analysts figure out that their theories and misuse of the wealth of others has contributed, and still contributes to the problems they decry, and characterize as "somehow Kafkaesque", all the while maintaining a condescending, if not disdainful attitude toward those who attempt "pedestrian" enterprises like building a business, owning a gun, working without joining a union, speaking or writing in ways that most people can understand, raising a decent family, building a lifelong marriage, minding one's own business...things beneath the self appointed arbiters of social cost and greater good.

Funny how running a hardware store is considered somehow less elevated than being in advertising if one observes Hollywood's take on it.  And, oddly, Hollywood and academia are largely on the same page, as far as what is revered and what is shunned.  And being in acting or politics even trumps advertising.  Some jerk spending public money in a way in which 49% disapprove gets labelled as a "great American"; great man or great woman.  Give me a friggin break.

Let those leeches dance on a pin.  The guy who used to run Miller Road Hardware in southwest Miami was a great man.  And he didn't do it on money taken at gunpoint.  You can have your huckster heroes posing as "public servants".  I'll take a good hardware person over them any time.

I think much of what ails our country, and many others, is that they let the debate regarding angels dancing on the head of a pin serve as the model for making laws and reasoning through various problems as they've arisen.  (Of course, behind the scenes, the unscrupulous make fortunes off the madness)

This explains why the more effort on the official level that has gone toward solving "crises", the more the crises have grown and multiplied.  But we pretend it makes sense because they sound smart, and they claim all who disagree are idiots, bigots, fools, unAmerican, xenophobic, baby killers, warring against women, mean to old folks, for poisoning the children, racist, stoopitt, etc., and then they lol .  Or even roflmao, and worse!

The emperor has no clothes and, it appears, he/she/it/they has undergone a sex change.

Aloha, you peasants and peons.  Let's move, you obese subjects. 

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr   

 First spouses shouldn't be seen or heard.  Nothing but fodder for lazy journalists and a waste of tax dollars.   You want royalty and nobility?  Move to a goddam kingdom!!!

update: the native part of me has still been successful in resisting the white devil's firewater.
The white devil in me is still resisting the red devil's evil killing smoke.
One, or two, must be ever vigilant, and it can be trying at times.
I'm repulsed by firewater most of the time, so that is good.
I'm hoping to find the evil tobacco as repulsive someday soon.  We are getting there.
This inner conflict caused by my multi-cultural genes is tricky and potentially volatile.
Just imagine the foolishness of thinking it isn't equally volatile and dangerous in the outer world on the macro scale in society.

Sitting Bull's revenge

Ever think the revenge of the red man might be cigarettes?   I guess it is ok to say red man.  God only knows.

I was thinking about it because I cannot understand why I have a desire to murder myself with smoke.  It is not only the nicotine that is craved, but the harsh feel of the smoke which is undoubtedly the sensation of throat tissue undergoing abusive irritation.  Like ripping fingernails into an open sore that tends to itch.  No good can come of it.

So why would anyone be compelled to such self mutilation?  It goes good with coffee, must be the definitive answer.  Chicks do not tend to dig it, so there isn't that.

Seriously, this thing of having an addictive personality and physiology is not as cool as I'm sure everyone thinks.  It's like having a free pass on a railway that only travels between here and hell, and you hop on because you want out of the house, and it is the only option.  Or something.

This is the first time I've suspended the smoking habit and actually noticed that I felt better in any way. Previously, I couldn't tell much difference in physical feeling of well being.  This time I feel a physical improvement to a small degree.  Enough to notice, and I've not done without for long.

I blame it on Hiawatha and the gang.  Probably my own ancestors, since I have high cheek bones like that Indian princess from Harvard who is now a senator, Running Compost aka Liz Warren.  So my own people may be getting revenge on my other people, and the war was waged in me.  "Smoke and die, you white devil!!!"  "Live free and don't smoke.  Let pale face with forked tongue die like dog, not you".

This is what wannabes don't get; life is full of conflict and confusion for the truly multi-cultural.  And the wannabe hucksters actually make it worse with their white guilt, and support of ethnic and racial jingoism.  All these internal factions drinking the kool aid and warring with one another as a result.  Stop it!! I say.  You are driving parts of me to smoke and die badly.

But not today.

So, when waxing poetic and lamenting the abused perfection of the native American, (of which I am one--born here and raised here through no fault of my own) rest easy knowing that an effective long term curse did, and does still, plague the evil pale intruders.  And many of their not so pale brethren.

Was this an intentional plot?  Could they have known the many directions in which this would pull the multi-cultural generations of the future?  Like me.  They launched a scheme which is dividing my spirit and awakening the Jones within.  The ready-rolled jones.

I'll try not to be their puppet by refusing to do what they want me to do.  They want me to smoke so I won't.  I'll blow smokeless air in their face.

I can get nicotine any time I want, from a lozenge.  But I tell you, nicotine is a small part of this conspiracy.  Obama smokes.  That indicates that the American Indians aka Native Americans have him right where they want him.  They own him.  He's their bitch.

That's what I'm trying to avoid, especially now that I've uncovered their dastardly plan.

Income Inequality

Oh my God!!  Not everyone's income is equal.  Thankfully, Obama and the latest NYC annoyance are "fighting" to solve this problem.  That sort is always "fighting for you".  They don't mean it.  They aren't actually fighting.

They are making conspicuous rules and directives to please large blocks of morons who vote, while including inconspicuous perks for companies and interests which fund campaigns and help keep them in power and luxury.  You'd think they were out on a battlefield somewhere slaying dragons to hear them talk.  No.  They are cruising in limos and jets and doing "important" stuff that we're to common to comprehend.

One thing on which you can depend:  when wealthy people in government pretend to care that people are not all rich, another sliver of honest opportunity is about to go out the window, chances to scam the system are going to increase, and crony capitalists(that part is really a misnomer) are preparing for a windfall of one type or another.

It is a waste of time to discuss minimum wage laws with the hard core.  It doesn't work, won't work, and can't work.  If every bit of wealth is centrally controlled, and the population so under the thumb, dumb, or drugged that no private initiative is possible, then you may have a shot for success.  But you have to be able to make everyone do exactly the right amount of work, according to ability, as well.  And you have to be a damned good planner.

Otherwise, forcing a minimum wage merely inflates the money, and sometimes contributes to contraction of an economy due to less hiring and other reductions in business expansion.  Eventually the new minimum wage is worth the same or less than the old one.  If you are lucky, technology advances allow one to survive with little wealth. Mostly it is another front for power grabbing by forcing more dependence upon lovely government programs which enrich the cronies through contracts and blatant theft--like the outfit which produced the healthcare website.

I refuse to call it obamacare--too orwellian, patriarchal, and totalitarian in it implications.  Besides, he has no idea what is in it, only who it benefits in terms of paying off those who put him in office and keep him there.

One reason I want to find a way to make money is so my income will not be equal to what it is now.  We seek greater numbers in that realm.

I've worked more than one job which paid people according to job title and time of employment.  No exceptions.  Both union and non-union.  And I can say this without even a shadow of a doubt,  in those situations the problem was that there wasn't MORE INCOME INEQUALITY.   Many, often most, of the workers were worth about half what they were paid, while the rest were worth their pay, or double or triple what they were paid.

But they couldn't pay by merit.  That wouldn't be fair. And what about the over paid worker's kids, and child support?  The slackers tend to multiply as if they haven't a clue how it happens.  Too lazy to figure out the fine points of birth control I think.  Not the people that need to be multiplying, that's for sure.  But I'm definitely not in favor of some official agency making that decision.

The problem is created because government does not do its job--protect against force and fraud, maximize individual freedom.  It cannot do that while maintaining "business-government partnerships".  Such alliances merely allow elect firms and organizations to avail themselves of tax money while ruining competition.  Not that complicated, and they do it in plain sight.

Corporations, as such are not evil or bad.  When they write laws, own politicians, start wars and generally usurp the military and police for their own ends, then you have what we have now. I consider modern trade unions, as well, to be modern corporations which employ a very similar scheme.  They are even more transparent but people have an emotional attachment that causes them to ignore the scams, the violence, and outright thuggery.  It is always justified with "what about that evil thing...", never addressing the real problems.

So, income inequality is nonsense when being touted as some new issue by a guy who is OK with the IRS enforcing the buy or die insurance scam.   He's just pandering, trying cement further ignorant voting blocks for the democratic party, while those who oppose him are suckered into the republican party, and the real infrastructure of oppression, and un-constitutional madness continues to grow.

Whenever they had power to do it, I didn't see republicans reshaping foreign policy into what it should be.  They did not can the IRS or many other agencies which have no business existing in the federal government.  Democrats clearly believe socialism and centrally controlled wealth works.  They don't like to be called socialists, usually, but that is pretty much where it is.  They also love to think that condition of birth amounts to varying degrees of virtue and philosophy.  Politics of race, genitalia, and ethnicity.  I don't get it, but they do.

So, at least I know what they represent.  I despise that plan, but that is the way it goes.

Republicans on the other hand, baffle me.   They claim a variety of economic suggestions that often sound right, yet they are not that different from democrats on foreign policy or being intrusive.  And they go along with the snowball from hell spending and power grabbing of the central government.  Enough get all religious that the the group has been painted with the zealot image.

Too many diversion issues in the republican world, and too easily bullied.  Benghazi actually was an atrocity and a scandal, but republicans are so easily bullied that now it is used in the press by dem puppets as a joke on those NOT in power to cement the position of the party who committed the lies and negligence in this case.

It doesn't help that some New Jersey issue comes up and the reaction is "what about Benghazi?"  That's like Obama blaming Bush for his crony motivated stimulus, ill fated foreign policy and polar bears drowning.  I don't care about new jersey.  I care about the USA and have a vote on that.

They will not win that way.  Or maybe so, and then we'll have the same over reaching police state we have now with a little different twist.

The news is trying to pretend that Chris Christie was the big hope of those who don't want Hillary--another Obama, except allegedly white and female.  

AS if Christie is significantly any different or less self serving and corrupt than the democrats who hold power now? Hillary may be less of a race demagogue than Obama and Holder, and so may Christie.  She serves the politics of birth condition--being female.  That's the difference.  He's fat and male.  She's less fat and female.  Not much choice, except I think she's more experienced in being ruthless and corrupt, but he could have held his own.  Substantively they aren't much different.  They just pander a little differently.

Someone in power must have feared Christie.  They are frying him early.

Oh yea.  Income inequality.  If you let those whose policies have done much to contribute to opportunity inequality convince you that idiots should get paid more, and that it is not they who made the corrupt obscenely wealthy, then embrace the results of your foolishness, again.  How many half assed wars have to be waged, how many unqualified people put in schools and jobs ahead of the more qualified, how many crazy economic bubbles must burst leaving people broke with wiped out savings, how much pretense can people take before they admit this nonsense of the last hundred years ha been a progression of lies and doesn't work?

Never happen.  Good enough for Woodie Guthrie, by God, must be the right way to think.  Lots of fine people mean well, and have charisma, brains, and they are good in bed.  That doesn't mean they aren't a little misguided when it comes to law, order, international conduct and the public purse.

Some of the misguided have no brains or charisma, and are a celebrated blight on humanity.  I won't mention names, but I hope they never leave N. Korea.  Somewhere along the way ugly became chic and insanity grew to be dubbed genius.
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I Like the Attitude

and I like the idea that this picture might annoy hand wringing, white supremacist, PC police cadets.  They think they are so much better than everyone else that they have to defend and protect those they see as victim by condition of birth for not being like themselves (whether the group wants their condescending protection or not) even from things like this mascot, which the Seminoles officially support and endorse. 

This guy expresses my feelings on a number of fronts...screw it, this is war!

Can't Shake It

The "unproductive lives" discussion just won't go away.  Worse still, I can't argue with the basic premise which defines me as a waste of space.  I try to have little hopes of something or someone to help make that view fade away, but the somethings or someones are not going to materialize, and I know it.  That makes me angry, almost to the point of rage.

No point in being mad about it.  It is how life is.  Not everyone has sense enough to make sense of it, which usually requires ignoring the views of peers, authority, and pop culture, while pretending otherwise.

Things are different, and I'm glad, and I'm disappointed I can't make it all more different.  As much as I decry the practiced stupidity of various cultures we are supposed to embrace, celebrate, or even respect,    I hope never again to hear people patting themselves on the back for being superior.  Some of those people are real creeps.  But they must be productive, they have a creepy wife, kids, and career.

Maybe it is time to give up, but often the time not to give up is when it seems the thing to do.  Alone in paradise is not the smart way to get the most out of the experience.  I doubt it will change.

One relative's view of what constitutes productive and not productive carries a lot of weight with me, I guess.  Even though I think it is a flawed and arrogant view, only now allowed full expression because both his kids are finally married with offspring, and both have great jobs-careers--that they like.  And each has a house.  Now we can pronounce our true views without condemning our own.  I am not "our own" anymore.

Be careful about protecting those who don't even know you are looking out for them, and who never asked your protection.  You'll realize you sacrificed yourself to create your own most influential detractor, and no one but you will ever realize it.  An you'll never live long enough to change it, because it is etched too deeply in every thought path and cell in your body.

This is a challenging time, once again.  If I were on the outside looking in, I'd say, "What an idiot!", so I guess I must know better, and can do just fine acting another way, reacting other than how I always do.   You live, you die, and it is as if you were never here.  My overall footprint is like that of a ninja.  The ninja of existence.

Never believe anything.  That is the best chance.

A Milestone of Sorts

Time will tell why this feels like a turning point.  I hope the change sticks.  Everyone goes on trips, but I seem to make a bigger deal of them, even though I fail to plan much.

Still, for me this was a borderline spiritual experience.  Those come and go, too.

What a shocker when I arrived home.  I forgot about all the work I did prior to departure.  The place looked shockingly neat and inviting.  Now I recall that being my goal. I didn't want walking in the door to be depressing and tiring.

Not the most hideous structures ever built, but even so, windmill farms tend to screw up the landscape.   There are better ways to get power without screwing up large tracts of land 

I really have my work cut out for me if I am going to ... can't think of how to say it without saying too much.  Whatnot.   That covers it.

There were guitar hangers on the wall when I moved here, so that is covered.

The hospitality extended in both Mississippi and Texas was more than I'd expect, and it set the bar high for me if I am ever a host.

My cousins apparently raised extraordinary children while I was inommunicado, or otherwise not paying attention.  They are gown up now with their own families.  I tried to impress upon them that we share blood.  We are genetically linked to some degree.  Hopefully I can claim some of their awesomeness by pulling the blood relative card.  And they are Texans on top of it all.

I wonder at some people who can't wait to get home "to their own bed."  I can think of beds or bed other than my own I'd rather occupy.

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Just Some Stuff

Hanging for the night in Benson, AZ.   My old friend, El Gato Loco, drove up from Sierra Vista for conversation and supper.  I must have been hungry.  For once in my life I may have beat the house on an all you can eat buffet.

My educational trip is nearly at a close.  I was in a hurry to get home, but now I'd like to turn around and do it all again.  Efforts to improve diction and grammar have paid off; so far, no more "check english" lights have illuminated.

in this part of New Mexico, they cultivate groves of dead trees.  They produce more dead fruit than any other place in the country.  It is what drives the economy in boom towns such as Deming

It really does appear to me that Texas by and large contains the highest percentage of civilized and pleasant people of any state between California and Florida, inclusive.  Sure, the Mexicans in Dallas shoot guns in the air, disregarding gravitational consequences, but most of them will at least return a greeting.  Culturally, Texans have some advantages over the rest of us.  Doesn't mean they aren't crazy too.  All cultures and populations appear to be somewhat psychotic.

And they generally drive better in Texas.  That is hard to deny if you drive from state to state, and the path carries you through Texas. Unless, of course, you are one of those who has no clue what lanes ae for, compulsively speed up when being passed, and/or compulsively slow down and pace a car or truck you are supposed to be passing.  You know who you are.

That being said, if you must top for the night, avoid Pecos.  Lodging costs a fortune and the place smells like oil.  It is not pleasant.

What I learned on this journey: I can avoiding reacting when being cut to the quick as only family can do, I can still feel things I haven't felt that give me a glimmer of hope.  That will likely lea to disappointment and rejection, but at least I know.  Babies can keep people entertained for hours without trying.  The government may be piking the water in Louisiana with LSD or other psychedelic additives.

The neighborhood of my youth has turned into a tropical paradise.  It looks the way naive activists picture a rain forest.  Quite impressive.  S.Florida is one rude place, but the Keys are still petty good and must never be lumped in with Broward and Dade county culture.

I still prefer Miami to Ft. Lauderdale.  The Quality Inn in Live Oak is a good place with the nicest desk lady in Florida.   Friends along the way are more tolerant of me than I would be.  Southern hospitality is alive and thriving.  I guess I mostly experienced it with a Texas influence, even outside that state.

In general, I was troubled or confused or stunned or surprised, yet was treated as if I had value, especially en route to and from the target destination.  There, I was treated as well as could be hoped, considering I've lived a useless, unproductive life.  Even there, certain infidels appeared unaware of my glaring deficiencies.

Already I have work lined up for Monday.  Money would be good.  I have stories to write.  Already I wonder if my pursuit of Trouble Lady is hopeless.  I'm most likely too pedestrian.  Lack of fortune, title, acceptable degree, etc. has been an embarrassment to a couple of flame in the past.  I'll not tolerate that again.  One can sense these things.  I'd have scored the degrees while they were in reach and money available for it had I known.   Who knew it would queer the deal on woo.   To be snobbed, when once I was the snob.  It is just wrong.  But, you snooze, you lose.

It may not happen, the thing of not fitting the status required, but I suspect it will.  Only this time, I do not care in the same way.  And I am more prepared should a suitable candidate actually want the fabled "nice guy" who would be dedicated, true and a hopeless sap.

One fact of life is that, as much as you hear females bemoan the alleged scarcity of nice guys, I have observed very few who actually want one.  Rare is the woman who could spot a nice guy, even if he bit her in the butt.  What can you do...

I need a kayak, particularly a hobie with mirage drive.  It is the perfect thing for the legs without screwing up knees and feet.  It is a healthy item, but too costly.  One day, we'll figure it out.

It must be the approaching the end of the trip blues.  When I get home, I'll start working on guitar, and continue streamlining and organizing my life's junk.  I may not see the group I drove down to see for quite some time, if ever.  If I manage to make significant money, I may visit, but not stay with them.  I guess I'm enthused and shattered at the same time.  It happens.

So, maybe it is time to do it on my terms and quit letting myself be defined by those whose definitions are no fun.

Imaginary Family...or are they?

So, I was conducted in the cousin-mobiles (they suspiciously switched cars at some point) to the GQ couple's house in a nearby town; where everyone is clean, polite, well to do, and, oddly, youth doesn't appear to be wasted on the young---they seem to use it well.

The GQ couple has two GQ children, ages 13 and 10.  OK, 10 1/2.   If you know nicer, more gentle and polite children of that age, I'm certain you are lying.  A girl and a boy.   The cool thing is that we are blood relatives, not too distantly diluted.

I have a calendar with their picture on it, and who in SD county can prove that Mrs. GQ is not my daughter, and the sweet children not my favorite grandchildren?  Who wouldn't sympathize with me because her mother, my late wife, died in an unfortunate lab accident while on the verge of discovering a sure fire cure for the common cold?

I lost her when Mrs GQ was only three years old.  We made it through and have always been close.  It wasn't always easy protecting her from the bitter truth that the fatal explosion was undoubtedly not an accident.  Believe me, many of the outfits which peddle remedies for cold symptoms do not want a cure to emerge.   And they have plenty of political clout.  Tragic.

When you are raising a child under such circumstances you find courage you never knew was in you.  Anything to protect the child and ensure that she thrives.  I'm so proud of the woman she's become.  A forty year old mother of two who looks to be a healthy twenty five.  Her husband is clearly her soul mate.  And no one could ask for better parents.  Her mom must be very gratified.  I can feel her joy in the after life.

Those kids are encouraging me to find someone special, and maybe I will.  My late sweetheart, Willowanne, would kick my butt for waiting so long.  She was always the pragmatic one, and sincerely concerned for my happiness and well being.

I try not to brag on my daughter's family too much.  It only makes others feel inferior.  What a joy, though, to visit, to have the grandkids jump for joy when I enter the room.  They've all won so many awards for everything from science projects to tennis tournaments to saving lives back in the big flood of '07 that a separate room is required to hold all the plaques, diplomas, trophies and certificates.

Great way to start the new year.  I'll take their advice when I return home.