There's Blues and then There's Blues

It always puzzled me when I'd play music, probably some sort of blues, with people who seemed to be approximating what they thought it felt like.  But then, they were thinking in terms of other "cool" guitar players or old time blues men.  I never was.

I've never been the greatest player, but  suspect I've often been the most heartfelt, tormented, passionate soul in the group.  I don't say that as necessarily a self congratulatory remark.  That is no assurance that the sound is going to be pleasing or move others.  It can move others right on out of the room to get away from the racket.

I played to get that feeling out, and go into that place where time stands still and I'm floating in the scream or whatever emotion.  It is suspended animation.  That was why I played.  Now, I'm not sure. I am more aware of good, bad and little technical things, and what everyone else ought to do, according to my taste and vision.  It used to be 100% feel and not much else.  I always had sense about not stepping on others for the most part.  Maybe I lay back too much. Maybe not.  The emotional outlet is still the deal, though.

From all the poking prodding, mri,  brain waves, etc. that were done and analyzed on me, it is clear that I probably have an electrical or chemical oddity that messes with my mood or aspect somehow.  I can be fine and almost happy in thoughts, but feel that thing you feel if you are sad and grieving.  It comes and it goes, and lately it has been a little more dynamic than usual.  Whatever usual is.

I know from experience that I do not want the miracle medicines for add, depression, narcolepsy or any other epsy.  I'm sorry I do know from experience, but glad I finally decided I'd rather deal with the fog and other such things than side effects and whatever.  It may be tougher to conform in certain ways but I'm convinced creativity is improved, and, if I can quit fighting my nature, I'll likely find my happy niche.  Or not.  Probably.  But I may die first and that will be that.

The trick, though, and the reason I mention this at all, is to find ways to mitigate these spells of sudden physical grief which leave you in a puddle of meaningless tears and blank, numb, frozen inaction.  I'm finding a couple of ingredients which seem essential and effective.  One is that I have to just go with the flow of that sense that there is something more at play in life than meets the eye.

The hip deal for academics and young know-it-alls is to accuse those who believe in a power beyond themselves and what is visible as having an imaginary friend.  So be it.  When you've been to hell more than once and ridden different trains to get there, who cares what anyone thinks.  Being laughed at sure beats that rotten dark despair that some things bring.

Some people visit hell through depression or sadness, despair and that sort of thing, just because of upbringing, environment and/or genetics and physical chemistry.  Alcohol and other substances can amplify and compound the problems to the point that they are still a tangled mess even when all those substances are long gone.

So, the trick is to find a way to believe in something, but don't expect burning bushes or seventy two virgins to come knocking at your door.  Just expect the right thing, and look for whatever that may be.  And the easiest way to do that is to put yourself in a place where you might be useful to someone else.  They need not know it.  You know when you can possibly boost the morale of another or help raise a barn or whatever it is humans do.  I avoid the conspicuous look-at-me kind of thing because I find it a little annoying and in some cases it kills the value in my mind.

Sorry.  If I really think I am doing something to cure cancer or help patients, I will do it directly one way or another. I will not wear the tee shirt and run around the block.  Fine with me if you do that, but I have had friends who directly did things which actually aided the science, developed better study methods, etc.  To describe the disgust one major player had with the big charities racket, and his horror stories regarding government involvement and the cancer society would only make you doubt the veracity of my story, or make you cynical.

I don't want to do that. If you want to walk up and down stairs and be on tv and get everyone to pay you a dollar a mile, go for it.  I am simply not wired that way.  But I think that anyone who knows me well would be fairly certain that they could call me at three in the morning from anywhere, if they needed help, and know that I would do anything in my power to help them avoid whatever disaster is at hand, even if it wipes me out.  Just don't give me a tee shirt that says I'm oh so altruistic, blablabla.

I'm not altruistic or wonderful.  I just hate to see people suffer, and I know what it is like to be in a bind. And when I can be somewhat helpful, I forget that I am in a fog and fearful of my life, sad and whatever else.  It even helps me find the humor in my own frailty and can result in a big belly laugh at my expense.  God, it feels so good when I'm talking to a confidant and we can laugh at me and my condition.  I'm very funny in some ways.  So are my friends, on good days.

They are funny because they are navigating with a muddy compass, too.  Maybe we don't share the same radical brain waves or whatever, but we still share enough of the same madness that communion is possible on various levels. That is what makes some people more suitable friends than others.

So, if you are plagued by sadness, give me a call or send me a check.  Or give people a call or visit that will be happy you thought of them.  Any contact helps.  That kind interaction with others helps the most.

Avoid people who are usually uncomfortable with you calling if you are in a possibly fragile frame of mind.  Those are hit or miss.  Wait until it won't send you into  dive or hurt your feelings if you feel like contact is an intrusion.

 You never know when you make them feel worse or better if you make contact.  And if you're battling overpowering blues yourself, you can be the worse for the effort.  There are other ways to have contact with people, and people you can be sure like hearing from you.

It is apparently a long term war, this sort of thing.  Of course it is all due to being abused and neglected by women.  I may have trouble proving that, but I enjoy putting that label on the cause anyway.  Probably because I'd love to think some wonderful woman could make me well.  But it does not work that way.  Behave in the way that is healthiest, and right--in every sense--and then maybe all that will work out.  I'm counting on it.

I'm also well aware that this phase of the ballistic tour is somewhat of a blind leap of faith from day to day, but far better than it was 6 or 7 years ago.  It depends upon how you look at things what kind of reaction you have.  I do not want to panic or go nuts any more than I can help, so I don't focus too hard on the grim aspect of my reality.  There are many things in the plus column, some of which can't be taught or bought, so that is fortunate.

The universe and all the gods and angels like me in spite of myself.  I don't think they really like everyone even though I've seen that on bumper stickers.  Probably, if you really do have some purity of heart and aren't unusually mean, they'll like you OK.  I find it tough to believe any good force likes sadists and jerks and people who tailgate in rainy weather.
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So, that is the trick.  Just quietly be in the company one way or another of someone who can use it or gives a damn or in whose presence you tend to behave like you aren't sad and lost.  They'll never have to know it is therapy and they are keeping you from jumping off a high cliff.

That is the way of it.  Make it about someone else and it will bring a little relief and even clarity.  And don't worry if you are feeling a bit mystic or spiritual and all that. Keep it a secret unless there is good reason not to.  Otherwise you do no one any good and you could lose it anyhow.

I know what I'm saying. Remember--I'm the harp player of choice for the Mormons and the Lutherans--even dead Lutherans.  And I am not officially sanctioned by or a member of any religion.  Just a peripatetic holy blues harp man.

President Obama & VP Biden Show Us How; seriously? WTF?

I could not make this stuff up.

And there are scores of other equally condescending, waste of tax money videos which seem designed to encourage and reinforce the idea of an elite ruling class in some sort of gigantic national schoolyard.

These people are the boss of the military, can drop massively destructive bombs, can order people to send radio controlled aircraft around the world to kill selected individuals.   Oops, except sometimes random nobodies get wasted in the process.



This is probably the sort of thing that separates certain types of people.  I remember the same kind of attitude split when I was in public school, long ago.  There are those who immediately find this kind of thing (given the context, the fact that these are tax paid nutcases, etc.) extraordinarily offensive and not the stuff of truly free society.  And there are those who think this is as cool and holy and wonderful as bringing their religion to remote tribes of people who were happy until they met you.



Let's run around the Whitehouse, being sure to keep the big O in front, and then make a big damned deal  of drinking a glass of water so Michele doesn't get mad.  Holy whatever!!  MO was not elected.  The US  spent over 600 billion dollars more than it took in last year---and they cheered because they have been spending an even higher amount than that compared to what they take in.   Yippee, we're only sinking 97% as fast as we were last year!



So, trillions in debt. Excited because they didn't add to the debt as much as they have been.  And priorities are for the pres and vp to run around to encourage the rest of us to "move" because we are too dumb to know better?  We all want her majesty to be happy.



This is really sick, but I think people either see it as such or they never will.  I want a cigarette.



Oh.  I know what the rebuttal is likely to be:  What about Bush?  They aren't republicans. If you are offended, then you are racist.

OK. I'm racist against goddam cartoon people who extort money.



Unbelievable.  There seems to be a class of people who see themselves as so elite and wonderful, and everyone else as so extremely stupid and inept, that they feel it their duty as humanitarians to instruct the rest of us on how to live, eat, travel, think, and feel, and, if necessary, force us to conform to their idea of how we should conduct our lives.



Often these nannies holding guns to our heads do none of what they demand from us.



Seriously embarrassing.  Even pointing at Bush won't somehow make this video less of an embarrassment.  All we need is shirtless Putin to join them, but he would have run it three times and still beat them to the waiting glass of water.  What if he then seduced Michele?  That would have maybe been worth whatever the cost of this rubbish was.



yikes.

Change is Kind of Constant but maybe Not Linear

Does something someone says or does ever throw a switch inside causing you to finally lose patience and think, "That's it.  I need to cut that non-friend loose."?   That recently happened with me.  As I've warned before, facebook is the devil, but did I listen?   Maybe not.

Mostly it was just used as a minor music connection and people would tag me in pictures playing here and there.  My vanity enjoyed that well enough.

Then with the Christmas trip I thought maybe I could hold the interest of someone in particular and kind of have a safety net of people knowing where I was.  And I got sucked into the things where you want to rant or give opinions.  I tried to resist but I can only handle so many half truths, so much talk of how anyone who thinks Obama or democrats are problematic is clearly racist, or how Cuba is Utopia, etc.   I get emotionally charged when facing the rationale thrown out there to justify a totalitarian trend in this country.  I'm that way.

But  don't think I'm going to win hearts and minds on facebook.  The problem with social media is that it promotes a short attention span, bad grammar, and it is not a good place for serious matters because you need a picture and some short bit of propaganda technique in action to push the point and hold the reader's interest for more than 5 seconds.  Invariably a half truth.

It is how the Daily Show works.  Invariably something is left out or something, like maybe political prisoners in Cuba or Constitution, etc. is ignored.  They are as expert at appearing to cover bases while herding the crowd as any outfit going.  I don't always disagree, but even then the humor is interwoven with purely misleading propaganda.

OK. So, facebook is the devil and  got ticked off because of a minor comment or two by a couple of people who were on thin ice for committing a kind of offense that I'd warned before would kill any friendship.

Anyone pretending to be my friend that either pushes me to drink and/or tries to make me into the momentary freak of the crowd because I do not drink, to boost themselves or for whatever motive is someone  do not need to appease.  I've rarely dealt with it.  Most people get such boundaries and have sense enough to know I had to quit for a reason.  But even if I did not or I never drank, it is a screw them kind of deal, really.

So I got a little irked, yanked the ill-named "friend" classification and delivered a rant in two different places and decided to nix the music scene for awhile.  I'll play in June since the Copper Creek group up here on ballistic mountain is slated to play a big event a radio station is doing at the winery up the mountain.

This is a change, but I realize I've been marking time and maybe I am not feeling it.  It is not paying and I need to work on other things, materially, spiritually, creatively, you-name-it-ly.   But change is hard and even though I am healthier cutting certain people out of my life, even if they will badmouth and sneer--or especially because they will.   It is always hard not to try to soothe such personal dynamics so that everyone likes me, but really, how lame is that?  I would not dream of maintaining your respect an affection if I ignored boundaries and made light of something that could be life or death to you.

Even so, I guess it bothers me slightly, because I am such a humanitarian.  A philanthrope.
ORIGIN mid 18th cent.: from Greek philanthrōpos, from philein ‘to love’ + anthrōpos‘human being.’  That's right, I'm a lover, not a fighter.

This is all part of change.  The no smoking is a good tangible symbol of some changes going on.  If I'm not careful I won't fit into my pants and being the no-pants guy running around will be another tangible change indicator. Let us just not let that happen.  Can't be buying clothes right now.  Or getting arrested for being weird.

I can't tell you how often I still have sudden almost overpowering craving to smoke.  Like just now.  
No wonder.  Yikes, look at the time.   I have a chance to look into some buy and sell situation tomorrow.  May learn something that leads somewhere.  Or just learn something.  It is a neat opportunity in any case.   I like to broaden my horizons.  

Rain in Southern California

It doesn't rain much in SoCal,  and this year it has been even dryer than normal.   So, everyone is all excited about the storm scheduled to roll in on Friday.   Of course they worry about flash flooding and, in some places, I guess houses will slide down hills.

I've never understood that aspect of CA living (among many others).  If houses fell off the hill a decade ago in a big rain storm, why wouldn't you put it back in some other way?  Up more in the L.A. area where the beautiful but dumb as a rock cultural icons and political and environmental gurus live they seem to have more incidence of houses sliding downhill repeatedly.

Check it out.  This is a news picture of rain near me.  A file photo they used in proclaiming the "big storm" coming up.   Notice that the second vehicle is about four inches off the bumper of the first?  That is how they drive when it rains, and they actually tend to speed up if possible.  Then they'll wonder why so many accidents and traffic jams result.  I've seen dumber drivers--Memphis---but I've never seen a more bizarre and predictable pattern of behavior.  In areas of sparse precipitation, the road is extra slippery when it does rain.  Should be fun.    The article with the pic makes no note of the pick up truck on that car's butt.  Because it seems normal to hard core locals.  If possible, ride in the back seat of the car ahead.

It will flash flood in my area, but not right where I live.  Just the road below and the one leading to my place.  I often wondered what it would be like if this cabin slipped off the pilings on the north end and slid down the hill.  I think if I avoided the broken glass it would be a fun time.  The aftermath would be dismal, but who worries about consequences?

If I'd ever learned to realistically consider consequences prior to acting I'd most likely be in another state with a beautiful family, or at least a loving, sexy wife who wasn't out to destroy me--mind body and spirit.  Or maybe I'd be dead because I got hit by a speeding, out of control, bus while I was living in bliss, wisely taking consequences into consideration before making significant decisions or giving in to feel-good impulses.

This brings up the question, would I rather have had the thoughtful, full life, with the sexy love machine and good choices, but get killed by a speeding bus ten years or so ago, or would I rather keep living and have the path I took?   Do I even need to answer that?   Given the choice I'd even pay the bus driver just to show there are no hard feelings.

It is wrong, I'm sure, and God will hate me for this, but I am not pleased with my mistakes, or even grateful I lived through those which should have killed me.   I'm not inclined to cultivate this view because it does seem wrong or blasphemous or something.  Who wants to piss off "the man upstairs" and get smote with the jawbone of an ass?   Those things happen, so I hear.

My mother warned me.  I can't say she didn't.  She did not do much in the way of explaining an alternative path to the one she warned against.  But I may not have been listening.

With great luck the big storm will wash us away.  They say it is a set of circumstances, not seen since 1983, which includes favorable tornado conditions.  What a miracle, to disappear in a tornado in the rain in Southern California.  Rarest of rare conditions, and a complete win-win.   The cool thing would be that my place would be blown away or washed away, so no mess left for others.

No More Wake Up Calls. I Can't Afford It

The perpetual screw up is forever fielding wake up calls.   I hate wake up calls.  They always bring stark reality into focus and that is not what I want to see.  The reality is always the same.  The warnings always the same.

Wake up!!  You need more money because you may die or have health issues.
Wake up!!  You need more money so you can at least find a gold digger and pretend she gives a damn. Otherwise you will have to settle for being a solo vegetarian loser; no one wants you without a big payoff.
Wake Up!!! You need more money because the goddam Check Engine light came on at night, on the mountain, on the way home from playing with the local group for the first time in months.   Like all bands I've ever been part of they ignore my advice about the name.  There are other Copper Creeks so I do not approve of labeling the group such a thing.  Old news, done deal.

I want to name it "I Probably Need Money Because That Check Engine Light Might Mean I have to Pay Money".  Or maybe just call it Check Engine Light.

Haven't seen any other groups with that name.  I checked on line and there are other west coast Copper Creeks.  Same issue in Memphis.  Tons of bands with the same name as that band.  But it wasn't Copper Creek.

This group listens most of the time, so I can't complain.  I'm just really annoyed at this check engine madness.  I'm not feeling optimistic about things in general.   My faith in everything tends to wane.   I'm thinking that anyone with any sense would not love me.  So don't be talking for Jesus and them.  The rest of everyone only pretends sometimes because it is such a fun sadistic game.   Most people I get emotionally attached to,  are cruel sadists.  They deny it, I'm pretty sure.  Deny if they want, that changes nothing.

Check Engine Light.  You have no idea the string of senseless adjectives and expletives I am putting in front of those words in my mind.   I'd kick and punch it if I could.

Some of us hang by a thread and we always have.  Some of them have all the answers, but don't live in my skin so maybe they don't really know it all.  Maybe they do.  It should be very easy being me.  It is not easy or hard.  It mostly makes no sense.  At one time it made even less.

One little light can send me into a raging spiral diving straight into the dirt.  That doesn't make a lot of sense does it?  And those who can only imagine their own condition and have no ability to extrapolate from experience to conclude they do not know it all, have quippy, maddening wisdom at times like this.  But there are times when those things do not really fit the moment.  More sadist fun, I guess.

Never let them know they fazed you.  And soon enough you are back in the flow of things, provided that stupid Check Engine Light issue gets resolved or goes away for another 2 months.

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What Surprises Me is that Anyone is Surprised

I'm also curious why none find it strange that those least affected by any of this were so hot to get complicated bills, which they didn't read, and couldn't understand if they had, passed.  No chance their campaigns, crony business pals, and other nefarious items could have been in the mix.

Then there is always the "we have to do something!!!!!!!!" panic attack argument which is highly popular.   Never mind if the action is counter productive, wrong, immoral or abusive; by Godt, action  is being taken!!

Failing that, "you are racist and that is why you notice that Obama is a puppet, a charlatan, often lies, and has  a core view of government far different from what you think is right.   Yep, you're just racist.  Unless you are Black.  In that case if you disagree with this administration you aren't black enough, so you don't count.  And everyone not black who agrees with you is racist.".   No arguing with that logic. And that is the plan.

Unbelievable.  Buy or die?  That is the question.

It's Too Crazy, but they are the people with the guns

WASHINGTON -- Rep. John Dingell (D-Mich.) is retiring from Congress after 59 years.

Dingell will make the announcement Monday at a luncheon in Downriver, Mich.,according to the Detroit News.

"I’m not going to be carried out feet first," he told the paper. "I don’t want people to say I stayed too long."

I'll say it, you nutcase.

Hey Mr. Dingell, you stayed way too long.   You overstayed by somewhere between  quarter and half a century.  And your dumbass colleagues went out of their way to celebrate your abuse of the system.  They know, you know, and I know that turning elected office into a career, replete with benefits and pension, is at the core of our corrupt, unjust, immoral, over reaching, authoritarian governmental condition.

That you and your pals would be celebrating and publicly praising this deadly flaw in our system shows that you understand full well that the public's capacity to be suckered is seemingly endless.  I'll bet you and your buds even have the nerve to use the "public service" tag as if decades of power, special treatment, benefits, and now pensions, not to mention perks from cronies needing favorable contracts and legislation, is a noble, holy sacrifice which deserves the thanks of those whose money you burn.

The mentality reflected in the accolades given because the guy is the longest "serving" member of Congress, ever, show how far gone people have become, and how so many think government is God, and that all this crazy nonsense is OK and makes sense.   Many in the world of cool elitist, tediously intellectual (so you'll notice and say, "wow you're smart") academia, and other fields dependent upon the government dollar, will spin this sort of abuse of the representative system into something sacred, and a higher calling than whatever normal taxpayers do to get by. 

I'm finding myself in an uncomfortable quandary now and then.   I have been irately opposed to our foreign policy for most of my life, and haven't been a fan of the last several wars in which we've involved ourselves , how we conducted those wars, or how we extricated ourselves from them, in those cases in which we did.  Bosnia?  I don't care.  VietNam, don't care. Iraq, don't care.  Afghanistan, don't care.  Certainly not enough to say, hey I'm going to give my life for this cause---whatever it is.  Usually you get no clear consistent answers regarding the purposes and goals of modern skirmishes.  

If I have not liked any of the wars, and do not like the little domestic games being played for "protection against terror", how can I blindly, and sincerely say to everyone in the military, "Thank you for your service?"    I backed out, at the last minute, of a slot to go to fighter training, partly because I knew I couldn't follow orders given by corrupt idiots with whom I disagreed.  They were not going to say, "hey let's take Cuba today!!  We'll give back the property that Castro stole, as best we can, and we'll make them use their constitution that both Batista and Castro ignored, then we'll have fun on the beach and be happy".  That would have been great.  I would have enjoyed serving under that kind of attitude, but NO.

I suspected I'd find myself at odds with the brass, and that I wouldn't last long.  I would have started an international incident, or refused to do something.

I appreciate a defense department, but an offense department deployed for dubious, vague and often conflicting reasons does not inspire my support.  I know that 99.5% of those in the military do not think like I do.  Over half are there because it has good benefits, provides funding for college and is a good way to get out of an early life rut, to get away from family and grow up.   The awesome skill, intelligence, drive and discipline some military jobs, like SEAL, require are quite admirable.   But they are under control of less than honorable people who give no good honorable reasons for how the military is used.

I'd say thanks, but when was the last posturing of our military one of defense instead of off the wall wars in countries where even the good guys are raving religious fanatics and lunatics?   When was it a matter of defense instead of such a web of deceptive and varied interests that no one can unravel it?  I don't know.  I wish I could thank the good people who are "just doing their jobs" under the management and direction of bad people with dishonest and/or immoral motives, but I can't do without feeling like I am lying.  But I usually keep quiet and pretend to be into it. 

It is a lie.  I do not thank policemen either.  Once in awhile their job does not involve bothering people who need not be bothered, and in a non bullying way.  They get paid.  I'm giving no extra thanks.  I've seen more of their abuse and bullying than I've seen of their help.  And help is their job.  Not like they do it for free.  They get pensions.  Most people do not these days.

Thank you for your service, and I'd thank you even more if you refused to do the wrong thing. I do offer my sympathies for those who have to serve under impossible rules of engagement dodging the political correctness police at every juncture.


At least most government workers who get obscene perks and privilege, like the astute Congressman Dingell, don't bleed the rest of the world dry for half a century. His father only did it for a couple of decades before Johnny boy ran for his dad's old congressional seat. Must be a locked in district.

The wars on poverty, drugs, and terror have all three done very little to alleviate poverty, diminish drug use, or make us safer, freer, and any less annoyed by lunatic factions and lunatic states of the world.  The cool thing is that we've enriched many slumlords on the local level, helped enrich and empower drug lords and thugs all over this hemisphere, removed any pretense of rights against arbitrary search and seizure, and helped arm and enrich the same terrorists and evil countries we now label as enemy.

This clown will most likely be on someone's payroll as consultant, influence peddler, connected jerk, lobbyist before the day is out. It is shameless and you'd think they'd play down the fact that this guy has been bilking the public for nearly sixty years. But the public is easily herded, even the supposedly intelligent contingent of the population. So they go along with the party. The news goes along, of course; they are the government's sales force and have been since before this Dingell clown ever served his first term.




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Trying to Grow Up

I think I finally know one person who is as un-grown up for her age as I am.   Not the bratty, petty kind of immature you see around town, but a certain brand of clueless that is rarer and not so hostile.  Takes one to know one, I suppose.

Coincidentally this comrade of clueless is the first female my age I ever met.  One of the first, if not the first non-adult females I met in this life.  It takes one to know one, and that means I see trouble.

Maybe she was mean so I just assumed they all were.  No wonder my life has been an unproductive, can't get past "that" disaster.  I may have been too clueless to achieve anything better.

Clueless people can do a number on hearts and feelings without having any idea how to avoid it.   Good thing I replaced my blood with ice water.

Can't get to me.

It is absolutely absurd to have feelings or dreams of any kind at my age.  But my dreams more involve one day actually living in reality.  Reasonably, and happily living life as it is, not as I wish or imagine it to be.  Away from the annoying sadness than can be allowed too much power and attention.

A confusing thought which has nothing to do with this came to my attention.  OK.  I've always hated that abortion became a big topic over the years.   But then I was thinking, what if a woman gets pregnant, and the guy wants to keep the child, offers to raise it with or without the woman, be married or not, whatever it takes 100% out to do whatever he can, and the woman says no, this baby is not going to term?

If she wanted it and he turned his back, then he's an evil deadbeat and any number of stereotypical bad guy things.  The state may even chase him down for money.

If she doesn't want it, the argument is that it is her choice and she's asserting her rights, etc.  Probably the word "empower" is in there somewhere.  It's always in there, especially when a double standard might be in the mix.  And Mr. Man needs being put in his place.

It does seem a double standard.  Mr. Man is on the hook at her whim.   She chooses whether she is on the hook or not.  He has no say in the matter unless she gives him a say.

I'm just observing, not setting out the rules.

One thing for sure, a guy is smartest to avoid getting her pregnant unless he wants to.  And if it gets strange and confusing, be damned sure it is yours, especially  if the confusion includes buzz words like "empower", and other sexist dog whistle words that mean "screw you. Suffer an die, Mr Man!".  

You may never know the true paternity if she opts to abort.   That may even be her motive--to avoid discovery of her duplicitous behavior.  It can make you wonder, even decades after the fact.

Women have it hard.  But they do manage a great deal in the way of choosing when the rules are the same and when they aren't.  When government tries to ignore nature and dangles the promise of empowerment,  chances are it is not what it appears.  Many times what passes for a victory and hard fought gain can be an odd form of dehumanizing enslavement in disguise.

Whatever all that means, I do wonder how many abortions are had to avoid the possibility of the true paternity being discovered.  We'll never know the answer to some questions.  Or maybe the fact that one need ask is answer enough.
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You're Funny

was going to go in and correct, because I just checked to see what I'd written and noticed a lot of missing letters.  Keyboard issue.  Too much trouble. Bet should be best.  Whole words, like they, may be missing. Lots first last or middle letters

I'll assume she meant that in the best possible sense of the phrase.   That's what she said.

And I'm thinking, "No kidding.  I'm one of the greatest humorists of our time.  Nice of you to catch on."  But I don't actually say that because what if I'm wrong, or maybe she doesn't like world class wit?

You never know.  Maybe she meant funny as a synonym for peculiar.   Hmmm.  Maybe that one's got my number.  I guess either use of the word is applicable.

Do you ever step back and notice how, in some cases, any attention you get is a big deal to you?  I do.  But I end up categorizing these thing so I don't get carried away.   I'll just think, "OK, that is some of my favorite attention".

But sometimes, if I see someone that needs a jump, or coolant, or a tire pumped up,  I think if I were they, I'd like a little help.  That's one kind of attention I like if I'm stuck.

So, every now and then I end up with a hitchhiker or assist a little with whatever needs it at the time.  It is great material for writing someday, and there have been interesting adventures as a result of my gregarious roadside manner.  Been awhile.  I only deal with people who don't overly creep me out.  Only a few do.

But there are other types of attention that rank up there, and are just as fun to give as to get.   Part of how life is made.  It's odd that some of us have to check our natural inclination to throw things out of balance.  Good things reportedly come with responsibility.  Bummer.

Then again, how would I know?  My first instinct is to ignore the tempering influence of reality.  Or I just run because, Who mistakenly sent anything good and fun my way?  I don't rate this.  I see it in writing and I wonder, "how could I ever think that?  I'm the most worthy, and the best catch of all the unglamorous, unqualified, one-in-a-billion catches on the whole block!   I'm more fun than a barrel of monkeys, if you ask me.

I've noticed a lot of stuff online lately which expresses total disdain for believe in God or anything akin to that, and expresses criticism for faith of any kind.   Yet it seems to me that they have forgotten that much of what is thought to be true in science is theory.  It holds and may be demonstrable, but it is not the whole big picture or the infinitely small picture.  It works for now.

I can see where misguided attitudes and antics, under the banner of religion can be problematic.  But I'm not sure why the hostility I'm seeing.  The word idiots is thrown around a lot.

Of course, many of these people are highly immersed in the business of politicizing science and pushing the idea that government should oversee and control research.  Another cronyism issue when the curtain is thrown back.  And it plays into the arrogance, vanity and territorial jealousy which is absolutely rampant in government funded scientific circles and throughout academia in this country.

The nuanced message many of these armchair geniuses put out is an unquestioning worship of what "science says".  Just trying to put themselves where God used to be.  Otherwise, when not directly affected, why so hostile?

Don't get me wrong, I like advances in science.  But many of the people pushing things in the name of science have no first hand skill as far as math, physics, etc. go, so they can be made to believe anything.    They just like to cheer for government action while jeering the evil corporation, and facts be damned.  Argue, and the next thing you know the discussion will devolve into something to do with George W Bush.

Here's my point.  I, and any real scientist who is honest, admit that what we know now, is the bet we have, at this point, until or if we find out different.

I'm no idiot, and I think there is more than meets the eye.  I think people who fanatically ram religious concepts angrily at people are actually in doubt and trying to convince themselves.   Fanatic Muslims just want to get laid, and if it takes holy death and being a corpse to get at them there 72 virgins the o be it.  Religion does some crazy ass things.

So do politically inspired scientists.  In the span of fifty years they've gone from raising hell about a coming ice age to global warming.  Maybe the cited the same causes both times.  Hell if know, I was too scared to think.

Odd that the answer is always more tax money.  It is BS.

But somehow this is supposed to divide between those who believe in something divine, and those who can reason and are sane and love solutions like taxing those evil whoever.  Smart people see the need for more tax and greater authority vested in regulatory agencies of any sort.  Or so the people who claim to be smart tell me, and the world.   If you don't agree, then you are not smart, deserve lol, and the smart will say that you are ignorant and superstitious, maybe racist, maybe George Bush--either one, or both, and you aren't like them and should be strung up, or run out of town, because you lack diverity and aren't tolerant like the smart people.

That's what they tell you.  Some smart people are so blinded by their own ego that they cannot see reality at all.  And they do reinforce one another, with their repetitive tired jokes and self congratulatory nonsense.   Often I find the ones who believe in something to be a little more peaceful an helpful than others.  Not the crazy fanatics.  The ones who try for the right thing.

Seriously, if you think placing your faith and trust in human authorities and governments is likely to bring better result than God or other power not easy to prove or disprove, you are nuts.  Governments shoot people and put them in cages, and harass them about all manner of things.  Most modern deists and churches don't do a lot of that.  Maybe some have little sexual field trips, but compared to governments and law enforcement they are squeaky clean.  Didn't say they were squeaky clean, just compared to.

So many officials are flaming crooks and sexual predators and offenders that it hardly makes the news when they decide to nail one.  Become an electable politician; get rich, get laid.  That is how it works to a great degree.  A few just settle for the first part.  The ones whose spouses would shoot them between the eyes if they strayed.

I have doubts on definitions and certain elements of history and certain bible things.  But I don't get the outright hostility and push to pretend an absolute knowledge under the church of "science".  You start making a religion out of science, then it i no longer science.  Tying it up with tax dollars and government is not a mark of validity.

I'm sometimes funny.  Extra funny.  More fun than a barrel of monkeys

Best thing yet in Connecticut is lack of new gun rule respect from citizens

"...If you pass laws that people have no respect for and they don’t follow them, then you have a real problem.”

That's a classic quote from a politician in Connecticut.  They were talking about how gun owners hadn't run to nearest sheriff to register the weapons, despite the new law.

The man behind the quote was some sort of state senator I think.   I only saved that bit of quote, the page and all else are long gone from my easy access.  

But doesn't it do your heart good when people ignore official overstep?  It does mine good.  

Of course you are going to have a real problem if you try to enforce laws on people which they do not respect.  And to the degree they respect themselves, they ignore you and the law you rode in on, and they do not acknowledge your authority over their being.   And you have nerve enough to whine and call it a problem as if the people are the problem, and not people like you creating and trying to enforce stupid laws.  

I don't care what your cause is, if you pass stupid measures to cure the ill, yet your cure is nonsense.  Calling you out on it does not mean I hate babies or whatever your cause is.  It just means you are spouting nonsense or violating personal rights.

I'm still shaking my head.  Ever consider making fewer laws and learning to respect personal boundaries in the process?  

I'm not sure I'd do well in CT.  Not sure there wouldn't be a cultural personality conflict.   Maybe it really is more laid back out here.  But they are not shy about making laws here any more than there.  And whether it is something based on junk science, the word of a child molester, you name it, in CA they'll get the damn thing done, even if it is wrong.  "It is better than doing nothing".

What a day, when they all say, "we've got a problem, no one is obeying our draconian, busy-body, poorly thought out, intrusive, oppressive laws".  That's when the citizens will have begun to do their job.  Non-compliance.  They can always lie cheat and steal and get into office, especially if you have crooked and greedy running against greedy and crooked.  There is not much difference in reality.

So it cracks me up that someone is all worked up over something that is not likely to make people less violent, and safer overall. 

The more people quit making the state into a religion or a god, the better off they'll be.