DOD

In San Diego's Old Town district, they have a big Day of the Dead festival. It ended yesterday.  We played la musica por la gente three days in a row.  Some of it was OK.  Some was not quite a train wreck, but nothing to brag about, either.

That may be poor English.  I don't care.

The festival was pleasant and where we played was in a shady spot in a yard with old style buildings on three sides.  I guess they may have been houses at one time.   Now they are historical landmarks.  That means non-profits profit in this environment.  What a weird concept--no profit.  I won't go there, but it is actually nonsense.  This is one of the better paying music endeavors.  Getting paid by non profits.  They eschew profit yet are constantly hounding people for money.  Relentlessly.   But it is for a higher purpose, so it is OK if they are greedy.

Actually, I find "not for profit" outfits, and charities to generally be the greediest organizations around.  They get by with it, because, even though people do make a living working for these organizations, they pretend to be holier than thou because their cause is clearly more lofty than whatever it is others do to earn their keep.

That brings me to the tendency for certain groups to constantly pat themselves on the back publicly, as if they are so much better than normal people.  I appreciate various occupations like ambulance drivers, rescue personnel, military, etc.  But those are chosen professions.  They get paid.  They are not necessarily better and more worthy than someone building houses or cars, or whatever.  I get tired of government employees calling themselves public servants and pretending to be more generous and wonderful than everyone else.

You joined the military voluntarily.   And personally, there are few if any dangerous conflicts that I would have sent you to fight since World War II.  I sort of thank you for your service, but only because a strong military is a deterrent.  I do not encourage action in lunatic lnd--North Africa and mid east.  I just don't.  So many people I know put on this weird pious face whenever there is military around, and they oh so humbly proffer the meaningless phrase, "Oh, thank you for your service!".  You don't even know what service those people perform.  See the uniform and knee herk react into fawning spectacle.  Seems phony to me. Sorry.

OI do not thank those who participate in no-knock searches and raids, and militaristic action against civilians for their service.  No thank you to those who enforce bad laws, and do it in improper ways.

But I do not consider a demonstration peaceful if you force traffic to stop and interfere with people who do not care to be part of your mob.  That is force and it is not peaceful.  So, here we go.  Not thanking people who make more money than I do for their service, and not even slightly enamored with the self styled 99%.

The dead behaved very well at the Dia de los Muertes festival, so that is something.

Packed House

What a surprise.  When it cm time to play the Kaffe Meister coffee shop--really good espresso--the place was getting crowded.  By the time we played a couple of songs, it was packed, and remained so until the end.  What an enthusiastic crowd.  Some familiar faces.

This was a good outing.  I think we did well.  The reception was certainly remarkable.  In a place that serves food and various beverages, you are doing well if there is not a lot of chatter.  I'm not one who gets too worked up if people talk, but it is cool to notice their rapt attention.

Maybe that look I saw on some faces was the kind of interest one shows when watching a train derail.  Who knows?  In any case, they were definitely paying attention. My chiropractor and his wife show up, too.  That was cool.

They reacted enthusiastically.  Having Alberto on bass is a crowd pleaser, too.  They like it when he climbs up on the stand up bass.  People go for those things.  It worked out well.

Why Not Me - 10/27/15

If you go here thousands of times, maybe we could play on Jimmy Kimmel.  Really that is the way it works.  Of course I'd rather play Jimmy Fallon show, but Kimmel is just fine with me.  So, if you have software that lets you inundate sites with visits, make it go here  http://songwriter.amplifiertv.com/channel/EnterTheBlueSky     and listen a bunch, or something.  I want numbers, so I don't care about any listening

The Same Wasn't That Great Anyway

It is dawning on me that my life has definitely changed,  and it will never be the same again.  Then I realized that I was not that thrilled with it when it was the same.  I do not like having system malfunctions, but it is probably what is needed to force me to finally either overcome whatever the invisible limiter and saboteur in my life has been, or just succumb and give up.  The former option has fortunately been gaining the upper hand lately.  That is hard to maintain.

But that is the goal, so we try.  I wish I had the means to just travel around the country indefinitely.  I don't even care to go to too many other countries right now.  So, maybe I will quit being frozen lazy and figure it out before it is all over.  Definitely a tough race.

Four days if one or two gigs per day

And most of them pay well.  It is so rare that you hear that in the small time, unknown, original music scene.  But some sets will be covers.  I think we do two hours of original then two hours of covers and spanish songs.  The spanish ones are my favorites.  At least some of them.

I have had little time to practice or even listen on my own. We did some at practice. The viola player likes to call it rehearsal, with practice being whatever you do on your own.  I'm sure I'm meant to have a doctorate in some odd branch of psychology.  Perfect subjects for my doctorate continually drop into my life.   I realize that I am no different, but I prefer not to dwell on that.

What makes it so fun, beside the fact that I like the songs, is that they all are so enthusiastic about my playing.  It always surprises me.  Last night I sat in with Chris and Emily and Richard resonator.  If you do not know who they are, they are the people with whom I sat in last night at Lakeside VFW.  It was on my way home from the house of dignitaries.

Country is actually very hard for me.  It will go along like I expect, then it either goes up when I go down or vice versa.  Country and blues have much in common, but there is that point where one goes one way, and one, the other.  It just takes doing it and before long it all makes sense.  It is still not first nature for the most part.  But I like playing with those guys.  Richard plays a mean Dobro, although his is some other make.  The generic term is "resonator".  

There were very few people at that VFW last night.  Apparently that is unusual. I suspect it was due to the debates. That clientele is the demographic that is interested and involved in some way; posters, bumper stickers, clipboards full of paper looking for signatures.  Even so, it was a good time.

I often feel guilty because all the bending and overblowing (causing the pitch to rise, as opposed to standard bends) that great players have always done seems secondary, at best, to me.  I don't really think about it. I just think the sound or something.  All my life I really focused mostly on single note play.  Now I do chords like crazy.  Lots of split chords. On harmonica that is when you block one or more holes in the middles and play some number of holes on either side. A real variety of sounds can result.  You can sort of imply a note you don't exactly have.  Somehow the chord works instead.

Depends on the texture of the thing whether you want to bend or not.

Still, compared to what lots of people can do, I am surprised at the ones who choose me on purpose. I think only some other harp players like my playing.  There is a harmonica culture to some extent, and little, or even large, cliques with impose these standards. Nothing official, just peer pressure I think.

I have seen forums with comments from people boasting of their ability to bend certain notes and how anyone who can't is a piker, blablabla.  I always feel bad because I rarely make any effort or even think I can do whatever it was they mentioned.  I must enjoy playing. I think it is because I like interacting with people.  I mean, I play a thing that is really not that much fun to play without people either playing, too, or encouraging enough that ...no. I take it back. I rarely like the solo thing, playing for a small crowd.  Much rather be jamming.

No Ninja Door Jam Repair

Some months ago, I didn't think I could rely on myself to get the work done that needs doing over at the resort house.  My friend, Jim, is sure I am employed as a lawn jockey there.  No too far off.

Back then, I brought a drummer on board.  Not to play drums, but he allegedly had skills.  I was having the aquagenic pruritus phenomenon visit me daily; any time I exerted at all.  So it seemed.

He turned out to be a complete lunatic, and I do not mean that lightly.  I may have outlined the disaster many months ago.  I don't recall.

This guy had some fantasy that he was living the life of a samurai warrior, or some other Asian offshoot.  "The true warrior lives as if he has already died; thus they can focus only on being of service to others--like I do."  Grasshopper, give me a friggin break!

Besides the fact that I had to re-do much of his work, he owes me $100.  He went to Arizona so we do not cross paths.  But he has re-written history enough that I hear he is planning on passing through.  Several people would be happen if he did not bother to stop.  Maybe if he bec omes convinced that a real ninja would just stay the hell out of Dodge, he will vanish into the night before we mortals even know the mystic warrior has tread among us.

Due to the hyroxyurea, and my sensitivity to it, the attacks almost ceased for awhile.  I got him out of there, and have gradually been doing more myself.  Lately the AP has returned, despite my improved lab numbers.  But now I have plans and strategies for mitigating the issue.  Plus I decided to do everything I can to vanquish the dangerous blues that want to swallow me.  Fighting to get things done helps.  It is not so easy though.

Today I finished the double door, out-behind-the-house equipment room door jam.  It was half rotted from a prior water heater leak.  It was long ago.  It was a little spray leak in a line, so it went up high.

Be that as it may. Originally I thought the new MFWIC was going to hire Rico (whom we are sure is a cleaner for the CIA) to do the job.  After the secret service visited, I asked if he wanted me to try or was he going to call Rico.  He asked me to go ahead.  Seriously, I am not really a handy man.  I am just a guy who figures out some way to do a thing, and the people who hire me are usually pleased.

This was a bear of a task.  And it definitely showed me that I really may have some physical issues going on, that I can still mange to get things done, I can operate a portable table saw without losing fingers, and I can push on even when dizzy or whatever.  It feels so good when you know the little roadblocks which are on top of the usual difficulties of retro fit, remodel, and working in tight spaces.

I think I pushed about as far as I could without seriously being dangerous.  Right to that edge, plus just a little bit.  Just enough left to put everything away clean up the site, and somehow lose my travel mug.  It was dark pretty quick.  Lighting there is horrible. Seriously the worst outdoor night time lighting ever.  They paid a designer to do that.  Sick.

It occurred to me that the ex employee ninja psycho claimed that the problem was that the whole thing was interior door stuff.  He was wrong, of course.  His vision included solid wood doors with dents made by a router to look like louvres. The present door has real vent capabilities, not just pretend.   Anyway, I am convinced that this guy could not do the job.  Even so, I had visions of him sneaking up on the project in a ninja suit, shouting fake Japanese.  The vision did not go beyond that.

The Old Mirror Deal

First, I have to say that I managed to fix the car in time to make it to the doctor.  That included a trip to the dealer for a part at 7:30 am when they opened.  The other part, I already obtained from the O'Reilley's in El Cajon.

I only had to use my new magnet-on-a-flexible-stick four or five times.  Each time to retrieve a bolt from hiding places not visible.  It worked, but took time.

Anyway, I am happy with the result and I have AC, which has become a necessity with my aquagenic pruritus issue.  That is what the itching deal is called in the very tiny circle of people who know what it is.  No one knows the mechanics of why it happens, and, though it is very common with JAK2 mutation positive people, many doctors have never encountered it, and aren't sure what to think.

In some ways I find this reminiscent of how migraines used to be.  I no longer have that issue, but they both may have some recognizable clue that the attack is imminent.  With experience, one can learn to head off a migraine--in some cases.  I was a lucky one that could often do that.  Same with this itch/ant attack feeling thing. And when it passes, it is just like when a migraine would finally wash away.  Almost like a chill or something that comes in a wave. Or goes in a wave.  Very similar.

I am not in a position to go for a doctorate, but I believe one could find a connection between this phenomenon and migraines.  It could be a breakthrough.  I seem to be the only one drawing the connection, but that does not mean I am wrong.

Here's the eat crow part.  I have to admit, maybe I was too hard on my doctor.  Besides, he now has a really competent very attractive, hot new associate.  She asks the right questions and explains things better.  And he behaves better with her around.  She is sharp.

It may be my good fortuen to be so sensitive to hydrea.  I have seen posts on MPN forums from people whose levels were similar to mine re platelets and such but they had to take triple my dose to lower the values into a safe range.  So, I appear to have decent enough levels now, as long as I keep up the dose, as is.

This could go on indefinitely.  There is no requirement that it get worse.  It may not.

Aside from that, the depression issue has been a little scary.  I worked like crazy to mitigate that issue. Work and associating with others when possible are a couple of items in the plan.  Also key is to try to push myself to do one more thing than I think I can at work or at home.  Like with the car. I was going to pull into a shop, then I thought maybe I should exhaust my troubleshooting skills first, even if I really did not think I could deal with it.

This may all, or most, sound silly or obvious, but to me, just normal daily tasks are often daunting and confusing.  Part of being an idiot savant, I think.  You may say, "I get the idiot part, but where does the savant come in?".  Very funny.  I won't even dignify such a query.  That dignify routine is a way to play self righteous in hopes of avoiding specifics or the need to provide proof.  You see it all the time.

Work is good and plentiful at the moment.  We play Fri. night, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday.  I think we play twice on Sat. and Sun.  Day of the Dead weekend, plus Halloween, plus the coffee house gig on FRi., unrelated to any of those holidays.  As far as I know.

Man this new bass player's attitude must make us play better.  I really think the unique blend is beginning to gel, and to finally blend.  I am liking it.  Plus I get lots of love in the sense of other musicians liking what I play.  Harmonica John thinks I am an infidel, I'm sure.  That's why most musicians around know me as Ian.  Got tired of people calling me harmonica John when that guy already calls himself that, in some official sense. I would never do that, anyway.  But the Ian part helped train people.

So, in short: I can see the physical status can probably be maintained at this level as long as I keep the hydrea coming, attitude may have a hand in giving the edge to a more favorable health situation, reducing isolation, coupled with tackling things which challenge me a little helps chase the blues away for another day or hour.

I know what needs doing in order to have more people around me that I like.  Minimize the immediate chaos, clutter, uncertainty, neglect, and lack of organization.  And little by little progress is being had.  It has plagued me forever but even at this advanced age, it can, technically, change.  I would respect myself more for attempting this rather than give in to the idea that it is too late to do or have anything I think leads to a healthy happy existence.

I have probably been here before to some extent.  But, I smoked from age 19 until I was 120.  So, now it has been, what, almost 2 years?  Pretty sure that is right.  Maybe we are going on three, but I doubt it.  January will be two, at least.  That is correct.  I do not smoke, and haven't, for some number of years between one and three, inclusive.  Must be two.

That shows that one can change a long term bad habit or practice, and it won't kill you to do so.  There is possible evidence that smoking may increase chances of acquiring certain types of Myeloprolific Neoplasms.  It would not be smart or uplifting in any way, were I to start smoking again.

I may yet not be the weakling and wimp we have grown to dislike.  To actually succeed in the ways that are needed by being strong would be such a piece of Heaven.  But I can tell you, depression is every bit as physical as mental.  Probably much more physical.  I know my mind is lying but no amount of insight stops the physical feeling of it.  But, since I know the physical depression is all part of the lie, I do all I can to go against it by doing one more work item, or stopping by a jam or open mic. I know the people so I force myself to socialize.  It helps.  Now we need big pay for the savant part of the idiot savant routine.

Was still having rougher go of it at this practice.  Tonight was much better. Even so, I like it.  I leave feeling better after practices, even if they aren't great.

Art of Mating Zen and Three Stooges Craftsmanship into DIY Auto Repair

Holy smoke!
The idler pulley had actually disintegrated or otherwise disappeared.  

The story of my successful foray into removal of the part, and fishing belt strands out from the pulleys from around which they were tangled, can best be illustrated by the fact that aside from the part, a healthy magnet on a long flexible shaft was at top of my list in the parts store.

That sentence is so long, I don't think I want to even read it.

Overall success, so far.  Have to install it with the belts in the morning.  Then I will have AC again, which is vital.  But the bright side is that it is getting done, and I did more than I thought I would.  That is the new deal.  Do one thing more whenever possible.  It is very hard to maintain, but it does help with severe blues.  And the goal is to win before it is all over.  The tendency is to concede defeat and give up, citing one thing after another to support the proposition that it is over and I am forever worthless.  I am attempting to break this pattern.

If I were to actually achieve the goal I have in mind, I would either be a stronger person than I think I am, or I would be touched by some sort of miracle.  But that doesn't mean it can't happen.

Cooling Off

So, earlier the A/C stopped working.  The tensioner pulley bearing froze causing the belt to fall apart. Oddly, very little noise was involved.

So, it happened this was a day off, sort of.  Chiropractor day; last for awhile.  As I let the car cool off, I realize that being rather poor, financially, it is lucky that I could think to look and realize I will have to replace the pulley and belt, and that I probably can do it successfully. If I had the money, I would have dropped it at a shop, grabbed a rental, and been on my way.

Or if I were truly wealthy, my loving spouse, or other family, would come pick me up and we'd go off into perfect world land.

Other Than That,

all is well.

a couple of long gone relatives claimed they were told that a rainbow meant all will be OK.  There were two but I was driving down the hill with the phone out the window, so I didn't know what the image would be.  Missing a rainbow.

 Really, you look at what a large portion of the world does to survive a day, and a highly troubled life here looks good.  And then one might say to himself, "You are not only worthless, you are a brat!! Get over it.".  And I will reply, I see your point.