SoCal anomalies

A couple of things about the CA culture that stand out are the refusal to clearly post location information on websites for companies, and any event promotion.  There is a real aversion to making it very obvious.

The other thing is that people hate to tie things down in a way that secures the property even if that first skinny piece of string breaks.  They hate to be sure couches and refrigerators won't fall onto the highway.  Half the time they just keep going.  Someone else gets the goods.

If you listen to the traffic reports you can be alerted to good stuff in the road.  "On the 5 south [they always do that 'the' thing with roads] there's a couch in lanes, slowing traffic near the 805 split."  Or it may be an appliance.  Or even an engine block.  One day it was a differential.  The traffic guy knows his jetsam and flotsam.

Can You Imagine Such a Reality Ripple?

When core beliefs or skepticisms are proven wrong or otherwise discovered to be so, it shakes one's reality.  That is the affect on me.  It is a weird kind of feeling.  Like a shock and your body slams a jolt of adrenalin in there.

I realize that I have a totally different view of life than I did even three or four years ago; what matters, things like that.   It is freaking me out because it nullifies almost everything about me, by my reckoning.

So, I have to find ways to defeat that thinking. And feeling.  I believe all that.  Maybe I should assume that there is a reason for all my complete acceptance of misinformation and insistence upon insane judgment calls.  It is a very haunting sensation that tends to last far too long.

Oh forget that!

What amazes me about humans is how much technological progress they have made.  In truth, sociological, too, though we tend to revert.  But our species has managed to create some fairly clean and functional cities, and comfort which is only had by tricking and bending nature.  Protecting ourselves from its whims and bugs.

What has happened in only a few lifetimes is remarkable.  The cumulative effect from the efforts of many independent creators, mostly not even aware of one another.

I need to stop and ponder.  Best course of action is almost always obvious, just not always the most convenient.  Even so, why would anyone have a reflexive aversion to saving himself certain pain and remorse?  There is no reasonable reason, so let's just not consider that an option.  Any more.

Dystopia in a Heartbeat or Two

It is easy to forget that most people are younger than I am, and they don't remember the days prior to mandatory seat belts, complete fear of everyone, schools serving as parent and guardian, cops in the halls, search and seizure without direct cause in the name of national or other security.  We are so safe.

Due to the presentation of our lives, by media and government, as being in imminent danger at all times from white men, products, weather, itinerate perverts, etc., we actually tend to believe that we are in more of a war zone now than ever.

A look at crime statistics, (which we only look at selectively to avoid the fact that the most vocal victims in our country happen to be about 20 times more likely to shoot or rape you than other groups), shows that we do not have significantly more of this stuff than in the past.  We just package the sensational images and stories more effectively.

News naturally does anything it can to promote regulation of any and every kind.  They just do.  Government likes that because they like power, and some actually believe they are better at running the lives of others than the owners of those lives.  Of course, some would go so far as to debate who owns your life.

The office of mayor of New York City has long been a place where would be tyrants and out of touch billionaires run rough shod over anything resembling rights, reason, and integrity.  Giuliani was an anomaly.  His focus was a little more reasonable than the last couple they have had there.

Now this clown, De Blasio, -another politician unfamiliar with the Constitution and any notion of proper government function--is using his office's bully pulpit  to harm and bully businesses who disagree with him politically.  So, the owners of Chik-a-Filet (that right?)--do not embrace the whole lbgtqxyz activist agenda, so Bill publicly suggests boycotting them.

And people think it is OK.  It is not.  I don't care how dysgendered or erotically unusual you are.  Anyone can go in and buy chicken so it must just be a problem if you do not also think Bruce Jenner is a hero.

So we have the mayor of one of the premier cities in the world using his office to affect the business and income of those who don't support him and his causes.

Then in Wisconsin, there is a guy riding around on a motorcycle, showing off his big tattoo, suggesting that Paul Ryan arm wrestle him.  In the video, he has a passenger, but you cannot really tell who or what it is.  Maybe a wife?  So bundled up, and with the helmet and all, it could be a boyfriend.  We don't know.  He was trying to look like a badass, except for the part where he's in a suit walking around in a warehouse.

After the arm wrestle challenge, he turns his back and walks into some building, maybe a gay bath house or a gym.  His badass T shirt without sleeves has a bandana wearing skull and crossbones on the back.  ???  WTF?

What is it with people who love death stuff and bones?  I never got it with real bikers any more than with politician bikers.  What a creep.  Grown man, running for an important office which directs trillions of dollars, sends people to fight wars, screws with regulations and dreams up hoops for citizens to jump through just in order to keep the guns away from their door, and he is publicly trying to play mean biker bully to get the job?

Maybe don't vote Ryan, I don't know.  I have never been a big fan of his.  Somehow the charm of either party has worn off.  I really wanted to like any party opposing the democrats, but there is no such thing I don't think. They are all nuts.

But some shallow lawyer playing weekend Hell's Angel, showing off his stupid tattoo, and taunting his opponent with arm wrestling is too much.  Besides, I think Ryan is the one always working out, so he probably can beat the wannabe biker with the mystery person of unknown gender assignment or preference on the back.

Just wait.  Those clowns will probably have a debate down the line and then arm wrestle in some beer joint.  Maybe life is supposed to be a circus. Anymore, I just do not know.

I am so glad I don't catch the videos and tele news too much.  This is the dumbest election cycle in some time.

But millenials and most others have no clue that the path is toward a dystopian all powerful state which continually promotes fear while creating chaos and fostering crime. All in the packaging.  I heard one talking to his mom about the '50's, "when it was OK for a husband to beat his wife".   What?  That is how people are taught.   It is not true.  Just like American men, and Canadian too, probably, have generally treated women on a more egalitarian basis than their european counterparts, and absolutely better than their Latin American counter parts.

But you'd never know it because of what is presented and reinforced.  

The biggest problem has always been the hiding of root causes for things.  If you jump into analyzing the process at a point along the way, you are likely to miss the real impetus of the whole thing.

Reality is that government is a money maker for a lot of people.  It is good to have various things handled in common, especially since you are paying for me.  But it is not the altruistic ultimate arbiter of truth and justice, and should not be treated as such.  I fear officialdom run amok as much as I do the riffraff.  Maybe more.

Through fear mongering, we have a society peopled by young adults who never knew any significant time in childhood when they weren't monitored, strapped in, helmeted and schooled in superstitious rituals and rites which are passed off as celebrations of diversity and fairness.

My crowd was fed a lot of garbage too.  That is why the new batch is even deeper in the nonsense.  I knew it was a veiled form of bullying then, and I know it now.   The real enticement that few will admit has been the state's eager insistence on taking over child care.  Suckers think they are off the hook.  Accidentally gave birth, how bout you feed this thing breakfast and lunch and keep him all day so I can absolve myself of the guilt of having kids I cannot care for, and about whom I care not.

But do not hurt his-her-its feelings without providing some safe space where all who are different become fair game for us to bully him-her-it until it-him-her goes away or we righteously beat it to a pulp.

All of a Sudden, Nothing

I've learned my lesson as far as explaining my disconnect and confusion, confessing my inability to properly live and embrace life, and medical worries.  Those are just excuses for why I am as I am.  Or something.  Or, more accurately, why I am not what I should be, could be, and in God's eyes and those who think the see those orbs, too, why I have sinned against all that is holy for not using my brain to change the world and stuff.  

If I had such a brain, and I do not, I would use it to create a far different life.  This is not working but one cannot be frozen in place for weeks on end with only reprieves of a few hours here and there, and expect to be sitting on much that is worthwhile.

My theory is that not everyone has the same degree of imperative when it comes to deep seeded, primitive instincts.  Some survive no matter what.  Some multiply against all odds and prudence.

There are many less obvious drives that steer humanity, as well.  It is natural for people, if the think you are down, to kick you and take whatever they can.  In civilization, they don't admit it, but it is done on every level of life.  So, the bit of actually telling those who profess friendship of your deepest fears and most worrisome battles is a lie.  Do not tell anyone of any fear or weakness. 

Because, if there is any validity to your fears or maladies, you will get trounced.  Don't test friendship that way.  Such tests rarely work out well.  I would think avoiding test situations is best.   

Anyway, what happened?  I think no one is left standing on the republican side, except Trump.   The more I hear from people acting like it will be the end of the world if he were elected, the less I think they are right.  Obama didn't end the world.. Yet.

No, the real issues are faulty intrinsic instincts, and some instincts run amok.   I don't know how that part works.  In some people there is an overpowering imperative to turn on themselves, relentlessly.  

 It seems like a feeling of "what now?".   The thought of Trump and Hilary trading attacks is not pleasant.  Thankfully I do not have TV, as in cable and such.  I avoid a lot of news without even trying any more.  

If only the governmental freaks would just generally leave people alone.  But they don't.  They are paid to dream up ways to insinuate themselves into your life and to judge and control your behavior, choices, habits, you name it.  

No candidate running understands that the purpose of the constitution is to limit and contain government power, as a safeguard to the people.  Most of the public does not get that either.  It is the nature of humans, still, to abuse power and to feed their greed.  So you have to keep the keepers of the peace peaceful.  Best way is to limit temptation - limit power.

Another Strange Day Playing

Playing, as in playing the music songs. I know it can have many connotations.  I actually never wanted to be a guy that played these events; that played music at all.  Seriously, I never really liked the thought of it.  And here I am.  In a way that sucks.  Even though I may be considered entertaining or good by some.

I hate it with a passion when someone tells me they can hear me in this instance and that but they think they are supposed to hear more, like I get too quiet.  IDIOTS!!!  The art of the M*&^% F(&^%g blend, Dumbass!  The do not realize what they are hearing because there is a harmonic that happens with the guitar, and some with the viola that is almost indistinguishable from what I am playing.  They we peel off, like the Blue Angels doing that thing where they split off in different directions, but in harmony.

Anyway.  Adams Avenue Unplugged.  But that was a big fat lie.  Everyone was plugged in, at least to a P.A. and often an amplifier.  They invite various groups and, apparently, assign the groups and the venues match-ups.  We got an Italian place.  In SoCal, tons of restaurants have as much or more outdoor seating as indoor.  But the outdoor patio is often covered with a series of giant umbrellas or other tent like contrivance.  Like this place.  There is a wall between the sidewalk and the seating area/patio.  But it is only about bar height, and has a nice flat suface so passers by cabn lean on it an watch the band.

When we started, the place was pretty much empty.  It was packed by about the third song, and people were three deep on the sidewalk looking over that wall I mentioned.   So we played our obligatory hour set.   Then we were supposed to take a break for an hour and come back and do another hour.  But when we quit, the restaurant owner or manager came over and asked if we would start early because we brought in a crowd.  We could have quit early but everyone was having a good time playing so the hour and a half still felt like fifteen minutes.

Part of me likes this.  And part of me despises it.  I really doubt that is a good thing.  I'll see what I can do about fixing that.

I messed up like crazy.  No one else probably realized.  It was not obvious.  I know when I miss.  Today was enough fun that I think that came through so anywhere I fell short of my goal may not have dampened it too much.

There were groups all down the street at different places.  I'd say we lucked out by getting the venue best suited to us.  At least I liked it better than the other places I checked out later.

This oppositional dichotomy disorder must be addressed in no uncertain terms.  (when you hear stuff like "in no uncertain terms", you know whatever precedes it will get lost in the maze of madness.  It will not happen any time soon--whatever it is.

The Studio

So, I still have not heard everything I played in the studio last week.  I had a feeling it would be different from anything anyone has heard from me.  The sound was so good for how I wanted to play, it was hard to go wrong.  I could go from the very faintest of whispers on up to a trumpet blast. But mostly the change has been the chord use.  Growly, flowy chords.

I think I may be on to a style.  Aboriginal, urban swamp harmonica, played cleanly and dynamically so that even the sound engineer was blown away with the way it grew out of whatever the viola was laying down at times.

I heard just a little of what was recorded, and I would be hard pressed to do as well without hearing it some more.  That was an inspired day. And now they've put in some harmonies. That and the instrumental background work give it a real multi dimensional feel.  There are some surprisingly unique and good sounds on this cd.  I can't wait until it is mixed and I can hear it.  Although I may be there for the mixing.  I usually keep my mouth shut and let them do their thing.  If asked, and if I have a strong opinion, I will express it.

Lifted this pic off their website.  The recoding room and isolation booth are on other side of glass.  Not a huge control board but pretty much state of art. They do a lot of TV work and such too.  Anyway, so far I like what they do and how they do it.  Thomas the sound engineer is probably the key to all of it. 
There are a couple of very good rolling chairs that are good for your back, not shown.  End product will tell the tale.
You can't tell from this angle but there is a double door between the recording area and the control room.

This has been the best all around recording experience so far.  I think it is the first time I recorded in the big room with mics and baffles all around, and did not hold a microphone.  And it would pick it up if I just thought about a whisper of a sound.

It is driving me crazy not hearing it all.  What I did hear is musically beyond anything I've done.  Maybe musically is right.  Playing off the viola lady who has a doctorate in music or music education. That must count for something in music.  Anyway, I think the blend on the recording is pretty good on some of what I heard.  I hope it is the same all through.

This project may end up better than expected.  Any time people record on a shoestring, it is very tough to get a result that doesn't sound wrong somehow.  Over produced.  Under produced.  Ill conceived.  A friend of ours did a cd there, on a similar budget.  They did a decent job, and he has won some awards.  I did not know there were organizations that held such ceremonies on lesser levels than grammys and such.

Whatever the deal, I really like Sande's lyrics, and the music in general.  I have been looking for the evolution this recording project has brought.  It influenced me and the viola for sure.  Probably bass and singer too.  But the trickiest part and the defining aspect of the background and accent is the viola harp blend and interaction.  That is probably what has encouraged some of the chords.  They seem to blend with the viola.

I think you will be surprised at the sound.  Had I not played on it, I would not be sure what instrument I was hearing, much of the time.  And that was the goal, I guess.  I had forgotten until I heard the bits I did yesterday.  They put in some harmonies, but they had the balance set so harp and viola were way down or off. And they did not do all songs or go through the entire song.

Maybe Autism, or Depression or wrong place at wrong time

It makes me angry sometimes.  Other times I am left kind of empty and confused by it.  It, of course, is that thing I have not been able to get past.  Hardly anyone has.

There is anger at people who back in my youth claimed I did not try, or did not live up to some mysterious expectation based on that which I either did not know, or by design had been hidden from me, ensuring my ignorance.  There is anger at people who even now would decide that my failures are somehow an insult to them, or a license to scold me for under-achieving.

It is not fun for me, and hasn't been for a long time.  Mostly because I don't get it. Or something.  And I have no excuse and no good description of the way this stuff works.  Sadness chases me.  I will change things yet.

So, thanks for the anger.  I may become angry enough not to accept defeat. That would take lots of anger because I am tired, beat, and mostly feel like wasted space.  That is just the way of it.

I still may become angry enough to make "them" eat their words or otherwise cease to have a shred of power or influence over me.  What's the charm of pour salt and vinegar into wounds?  That is all it is when I am admonished for not being better than I am, and living up to imaginary potential or level of life which eludes me.   These are not the easiest of times or the worst.

I have a very simple set of goals that need achieving.  Once they are met.  I can go anywhere or nowhere, in peace.

Here's Where The Balance Gets Tipped

People who think I am a real moron and totally suffering from oppositional defiant disorder regarding authority, especially governments,  tend to think that governments and unions are their unconditionally loving friends, and that they are all about furthering the noble facets of human endeavor.

Maybe there is a shred of truth there.  Mostly, though, I think they get in the way.  I believe energy sources would have advanced much more rapidly without the help of such authorities.  They make doing it yourself illegal in many places. Construction advances are slow to happen because zoning and such tends to spec in the crony pals who write the laws.

The shifty oligarchy types are troublesome, I agree.  How to keep them at bay is probably where we differ.  I firmly believe one way to ensure a more harmonious world is through technology.  But it has to be of the sort that enables the greatest number of people to have comfort and freedom to thrive.  In reality, turning the human race into less of a wretched, pain wracked species and moving toward a great standard of living which continually improves is possible.  Just not very likely.

Depending upon locale, most homes can be built more cheaply and be self sufficient with a combination of strategies at play.  Geo thermal is possible in many areas for cooling and heating since near constant temperatures can be had underground--and not that far in most regions.  Like solar, you use it where practical and it may be mostly for maintaining interior temperature.

Also, with new materials or even recycled, dwellings can be more build into hillsides and such so that they are more protected against extremes of various sorts, including tornadoes.  Seriously, the world of creative new means of construction, inexpensive, easy to assemble mini-homes, modular complexes, all of it should be booming.  Housing should be becoming less expensive from the construction angle, by my thinking.

Just like what I do in my own life, humanity, such as it is, tends to install its own limits and shackle itself for no real good reason.  Maybe people just hate to admit they do not know it all.  I think a lot of scientists have that problem.  They are fine when it all resides in their wheelhouse, then someone discovers more and it changes the status quo. Some would kill to keep new info out of their fields.  It threatens their stature.

Anyway, if you really think there is a genuine crisis, which is due to people wanting a better standard of living, and not caused by small minded and short sighted power lust and greed, then you and I do not think alike.

I know from trying to work with people on developing things that most people will just rush in rather than look at any collateral damage, and try to assess all relevant factors.  That is annoying and can be heartbreaking.  That rush born of misguided ideas regarding free enterprise or capitalism or business, has cost humanity greatly.  It is abusive and irresponsible.  But somehow accepted.

Just look at almost any workplace.  There are multitudes of people who suspend morality every day for a low wage.  For 40k or 25k per year, people will suspend all integrity depending upon what the boss or "corporate" pushes them to do.  I have seen it many times.  And it usually involves not being 100% honest and fair with the customer, or other employees.  Crazy.  I see it everywhere.

There are drawbacks to living in a "Mother may I?" society.  It slows true progress, damages large land areas, promotes poverty and general weirdness.  There you have it.   A lot is possible, but not at this rate.  The reality of the world is--and I know this meets with little accord from most--it is possible for a place like the USA to isolate economically and thrive.  But not under current methods of regulation where government's use of force is used according to which crony outfit is calling the shots.  It is organized and legal crime.  I am not necessarily advocating isolationism, but disagree with those who discount the degree of self sufficiency this country could achieve.

I wonder if taxis will get smart meters, like they use here for the power company.  It would automatically vary the rate according to the intensity of that tenth or sixth or whatever divisions they use of a mile.  So the most intense gets the top rate.  Don't worry about definition of intense. They will take care of deciding that.  What more can you want? It's only fair

Election Outcomes

What determines the final outcome in a high stakes game like the USA presidential contest is a mystery sometimes.  Sometimes not.

I often think it is the ineptness of one party's players, or the other's.  Maybe that is calculated.  However it is done, the two parties have managed to lock themselves in with favorable laws for them and somewhat draconian for upstart third party challengers.   Often, those are the only ones whose positions are clear; Libertarian, Green, maybe some others.

It looks to me like the majority of people I know either support Bernie or Trump.  Didn't the media say they both do well with uneducated and mutated humans?  I'm pretty sure they did.

Even so, I wonder if the picture we are given is completely manipulative or without guile.   Possibly somewhere in between.  Most of my life I hated the gray area, yet it is only reality.  Blind idealism holds to the theory despite its reduced ability to predict and/or explain an outcome. Tends to set up a false description.

It has been a game played by both men and women for ages--don't be fooled by feel-good victim pandering

I've heard interesting rumors about Cathy.  But then, I've heard rumors about living people who class themselves as "leaders", too.  Even Hillary doesn't have as colorful a rep as Cat, though.  All the men get compared to Hitler.  I heard one Mussolini jab along the way.  Only one--ever.

I can imitate Bernie better than I can any of the other candidates.  That is worth something.  It is weird, but I would rather see Trump vs Bernie than any of the other popular possibilities.  And not because of the probable winner in that.  I am not sure who would win between those two.  I am not positive it would matter.

So, since I only know people who are for one or the other of those two, the actual candidates will be Hillary and Cruz.  That is how life works; how it appears to me is usually not the way it really is.

What people accept is beyond me.  The envy taxes that people support come back to bite those who really don't need to be robbed.  All of it is complicated so that those who can afford it get people to play the system for them while others of us come out missing big shark-bite chunks of ourselves. Sad.

And that is why getting married young,  busting ass to lift the spirits and efforts of your mate, having children that actually don't mind your company--most of the time, building a family is the best and most smart thing you can do.  If you do it right, your offspring won't be psychos or gleefully masochistic, chronic victims.

And if you are lucky, you will never be in a spot in which you even have to consciously verbalize or stop and consider what's important. If you are lucky you will be living it, so this will read somewhat different from how it was written.

I, Too, Disagree

Geez.  I happened to read a post--a few or more down from this.  OMG.  What a bunch of garbage!  I don't even agree with myself.  Wha..???