So I Benefit the Most

When it comes to healthcare, I do not think I can force trained professionals to serve me, or save me. Believe me, even when they are trying, they are not always very sharp.  Sometimes.

So, the country has been all into the healthcare thing; Obamacare, et al.   It is like a ball of yarn assembled by a cat.

I listen to people whose deductibles went north, whose premiums and coverage are less favorable, etc.  And I know people who have to go to the primary in order to do anything and they get caught in various catch-22's.  The HMO system creates much of what it was supposed to eliminate.  It is a bureaucratic misanthropic construct.  And it is sold to the public as the opposite of its reality.

But in my case, any poorer and I would be screwed.  Any wealthier and I would be screwed.  A whole lot wealthier and it wouldn't matter.   That tells me that my mind is thinking that it is not even worth the effort unless you are going to be a big whole lot wealthier.   Just some wealthier is not worth it.  Not my idea.  Indirectly, IT'S THE LAW !!!

The brings me to an aside.  I remember posters and such put out to indoctrinate the public during the 55 mph phase.  Maybe it is just me, but some posters and slogans put out by government agencies, whether irs, police, blm, or other,  are ridiculous, insulting and moronic.  Not to mention heavy handed.

The one I am thinking of was in a DMV office in Albemarle, NC or somewhere like that.
It had some graphic of a cop car or something scary, and it just said, 55, Not only a good idea, IT'S THE LAW!  Just seemed odd, as if they are saying, "Yes, 'good idea' and 'law' are not necessarily coexistent entities."  And I'd thank you for your candor.

That is neither here nor there.   The real point is my good fortune amid an overall history of odd fortune.  I hesitate to call it bad, or good.  But odd comes without caveat or hesitation.

Be happy.  It looks like I will pay more than I am using this year.  Last year you took most of the hit.  Not all,  by any means.  Now that I look at it.   But that is how things work.

If this keeps up, good news.  Things are always in flux.  When that is a good thing, I don't know.

Way Behind the Times

Not the NY Times.   Just the general pop culture of busybody statists.  The idea of a draft, which gives a pick of happy hippy work or military is not a form of involuntary servitude.  It is just compulsory volunteer service.  

I actually read an article which explained Stewart's plan as different than the old fashioned draft because you could do public service things as dictated by the bureau in charge of such things.  It said everyone would be "required to do volunteer service' for the public good, or some such noble cause.

The meaning of the word "rights" was clouded, diluted and obliterated some time ago.  Now we see the word slave and volunteer being interchanged.

Really Small Minded Power Thing

That is my view.

I remember when the news had big things on raising the driving age to 18 in FL, back in my Miami youth.  They always had student government slime from whatever high school to speak in support of raising the age.  They were seniors, either already 18 or soon to be.  What kiss-up sell-outs.

Just like Jon Stewart, wanting to place obligations, from which he is exempt, on others.  He did not have such intrusion of the state controlling his choices at 18.  That sort of hypocrisy is typical of almost anything political in this country and maybe world.  I am certainly not one of those who believes our system is inferior to the more state heavy systems of much of the world.  Our laws have been broken by those sworn to uphold them.  The siren call of alleged pragmatists often overrides farsighted moral considerations.

Government hijacked by thugs long ago.  No telling how far back it goes.  But it is a crime syndicate sort of outfit.

That bit of "everyone ought to have to (do this or that)", never set well with me.  People should not owe their lives to the state to do with it as it chooses--even if only for a year or two.  Maybe there won't be a bunch of people getting killed in a stupid excursion.  Everyone will robotically thank you for your service.  You will either feel wonderful to be thanked for being forced to serve the state, or you will grow to despise the empty unqualified nature of their gratitude.  How do they know what you did or if they are glad of it?

Yea, I guess I must be wrong.  Most have no idea what to do anyway, so a couple of years being the state's bitch can't hurt. Pays pocket change and room and board.  Maybe even exposure to gender variations new to the planet.

Drafting girls could be so cool.  Since most seem unaware of Vietnam, or much else, how about we draft for a cool war like that?  This could be absolutely wonderful.  Another psychotic generation can rebel against the other lunatics controlling them.  Maybe have a summer of love which is really lots of sex and being high in preparation for the decade of greed these same altruists created soon as they could.

Justy when I thought no one could be bigger idiots than baby boomers, a new crop has backed women into the draft-me-for-any-ridiculous war corner.  Can't say a damned thing. Out of their F'ing minds.  And unlike the old days, anything but straight will no longer get you out. Nothing gets you out.

Two Kinds of People...

There are those who always think in terms of what everyone should do, and how to force them.  They think this is the best way of things for everyone, because they know best.

And there are those who do not think in those terms.

I saw something which quoted Jon Stewart asserting that everyone of draft-able age should serve a year of military or community service or whatever kind of government thing.

Jon was not subjected to the draft.  He never had the government threatening to conscript him to fight a war which may have been conducted under false pretense.  Certainly most of America seemed confused about the situation.   The hawks were still thinking in terms of the clear cut goals which marked WWII.  So it was knee jerk patriotism to support the Vietnam war and draft.

The protestor side was blaming us for being awful people etc., as if we were the ones violating every war crime taboo in the book.  As a matter of course.  I am sure we did at times.  I probably would have either melted into a puddle or violated all those things in some manic state of hysteria.  Properly directed though, that kind of thing can win the day.

But, I was never there.  Just threatened, blackmailed, baffled and horrified by the draft.  I was horrified because I was under the belief that our country was much freer and less oppressive than others. Yet they could force me to meet their plans and goals, not mine.  And their goals are a bit gray in most skirmishes since WWII.

 I had been to Latin America as a kid and they had a different feel.  Bureaucratic abuse.  Lines.  Unnecessary delays, seemingly just to affirm to the citizen that he/she is a subject under power of the state.

Back then, that seemed a contrast.  Not so much anymore.  So, really, all you need do is hang around long enough in many parts of the USA, and old fashioned third world problems will come to you.  It is like a free vacation!   TB!  Lines!  Total absence of reason within public agencies.  Something for everyone.

It always gets me when someone makes these pronouncements upon groups of which they do not belong.  And in some cases, even if they do belong, by what right do they suggest all their fellow whatevers "serve" as they see fit?  Is it OK because everyone is or was young?  OK because that is the most powerless, but most physically fit age group.

When only men were drafted, I believed it was the result of a long history in which middle aged men found ways to get rid of young men so they could chase the younger women.  Now, I don't know.  I was probably right, but the stupid plan has now backfired big time.

What You Can't See, can hurt you

So, sometimes things catch my eye online.
I was on facebook on an unremarkable post.
Someone commented, "I'm a Cali girl. Always". 
I thought she said, "Call girl." Could be time to update the specs. I almost made an inappropriate financial inquiry. Yikes.

I need to check an see if maybe you will buy me glasses through medicare or some other program. I think they allow you to get an eye on a stick every year or two. At least that is what the poor people get.

I'm relieved. Not a call girl figuratively strutting her stuff. Just the usual Cali girl deal. Reminds me of Miami in a way. Code for trouble. That is all I will say. It is to myself. Steer clear. Pure fluff and no stuff ahead. Maybe it is the cadence of certain phrases that mark the dangerously unsatisfying relationship, yet to happen.

Some things never change. No matter how hard we pretend.

Once Again, doing a 180

Just an aside.  180 degrees is like an about face.  If you were going north and did a one eighty, you'd be going south.  I say that because I don't know how often I've heard someone claim to have done a 360 turning their life around.  (I give up and use 'their' as a universal, singular possessive pronoun.  I guess that is what it is. I am horrible at naming things like that)  Anyway, if you do a 360, you could just as well have stayed home and took a nap.

I may have disparaged the medical world and they do deserve it to a large degree, but I have to say, I have had an easy time navigating it once my friend Lynn hooked me up with best case insurance options, and on my own I sought out who to deal with.  I will not deal with the arrogant intern guy, but I will continue with the arrogant blood guy.

I am doing so well on a low dose of the drug to deal with blood production that it has got me so close to within bounds on all values that I would pass if this were even a private high school.   They'd make me jump through some hoop but I would pass.

That is because I am the miracle boy, hard as it is to live in this mind.  Today it is not only easy, but entertaining and nice.  A rarity, to be sure.

But the frustrating thing is the pins and needles attack.  It is kind of itch and kind of not.  More like nano second convulsions, each accompanied by a simultaneous itchy pin prick.  Like the end of a thick paint brush full of these things, each bristle a nano-second, seizure causing tentacle.   That is almost the deal when it hits really hard.  I can mostly avoid that.

Anyway, the blood guy does his job but insists I am wrong; no way scalding hot water can make the itch go away.  Even though that is often the only salvation.  Rare physical stuff is best not shared with know it all specialists who know only one thing.  I plan to write up a paper for him and any other doctor educating them on aquagenic pruritus and refer them to some sources.

You look how boring most trade publications are. Especially among elitist con artists like doctors and lawyers.  They use a lot of Latin and Greek to intimidate the clients they allegedly serve.  Intimidation=$$$$  That is why government often harasses people in ways that force them to get a lawyer, and once they pay some money, the harassment goes away.  They are in league, of course.

Thank you for paying much of my bill.  At least the insurance part.  Although, right now, I pay as much in insurance, or more, than care is costing me.  But if anything changes maybe I would need it.

I got a card that says "Silver Sneakers".   Unbelievable.  A card for "seniors" to get into participating gyms.  Part of insurance.

I felt so demeaned.  Silver sneakers?  That's sort of like some toddler sounding program.  Patronizing.  Now they are going to treat me like they do kids.  Talk real fake and slow and clear and in your face with my fake f'ing, screw you, senior, smile.  Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I hate the term "seniors".   Not fond of "youngsters", either.  Take that how you will.

Wow, these spunky seniors can show the kids a thing or two when it comes to hopscotch on this sidewalk!!!
That's the kind of stuff news people say.  Why?  Because they have no souls.

You asked, I told you.  Don't be shooting the messenger.

It is so bizarre.  I am in a group that usually falls between the seams or os invisible to government largesse--as it should be, it a perfect world--however, this time I am in the perfect loser demographic to benefit from the health thing.  My age helps I guess.  I am just poor enough that I can select some choices to fund whatever medicare doesn't pay.  If I were poorer, I would not be allowed that option. Insane, arbitrary and a little bit cold hearted.

I may see if I can drop the supplement because I am only having to run labs and see a Dr about every four or five months as long as these levels maintain.

Maybe it is good that you pay so much and then I am more or less forced to accept what your money buys in the form of insurance and subsidies.  In principle I do not agree with it.  But screw it.  I may need the psych part just to stay afloat.  I feel like I have to do something useful if I survive, to justify your support of my health and such.

If I were running for president I'd promise everyone health care and assure you that the Canadians would pay for it.

I'd blame everything on videos; incest, murder, rape, mayhem, rocket attacks--you name it.

Aptly Named, Target

I'm not much for boycotts.  Although my life often appears to be one big boycott.  Those are either the good times when I don't spend money, or the bad times when I am too broke to pay attention.

Here we are now with another Target boycott.  This time, according to the chance article I read, it is lead by Christian groups who disapprove of how they operate their restrooms.  I doubt people really investigate these things before reacting.

Somehow it has really become the item du jour to distract people from reality.  I keep thinking all kinds of mischief must be happening in real life, and that is why they keep tweaking an absurd yet emotional issue that they know will get everyone on their high horse.

Soliloquy after soliloquy with poetic homage paid to the convoluted philosophical position of each alleged side in this odd controversy.

Here is the good news:  If enough people boycott Target, stuff is going to start going on sale and killer bargains can be had.

My impression is that the boycott idea is considered right wing.  Last time I remember them being boycotted was something to do with unions.  I can't believe that veil still stands up.  But I think people view unions and their tactics like people view the Mob.  If they are the recipients of generosity or financial gain due to the actions of the thugs, well, then, they aren't thugs, they are just people fighting for rights and dignity, etc.  

It is the victim mentality.  If you or those you protect enjoy victim status, then all normal restraint and humanity of conscience are suspended, because you can't have a victim without an assailant of some sort.  And you do anything to survive so it is OK to do rotten things to the bad guys.  Both sides may be bad guys.  In this context, both sides generally play victim.  It is a game, and it is a sham on the large scale.  Of course government is heavily involved.  That keeps the right interests on top.  Unions are right there with Monsanto or any large multi-national.

Unions are big business.  They basically sell votes and government worker unions very transparently launder union dues into campaign support for purchasing politicians of their choice.  From one standpoint, it is brilliant.  If anyone questions tax paid worker unions, and their heavy political activism, they are called anti-worker, duped by corporations, etc.

Be that as it may.  The point is that Target experienced a more left wing organized boycott the last time.  Everyone boycotts Target, so it seems.  And mostly over stuff that probably doesn't even concern them.

I wonder if there will be sales now, or maybe wait a few days before heading out to Target.  I will make a point Not to use the bathroom before I go.  I want to use theirs.

How Do These Non-Issues Become Issues?

It is like intellectual neo-dadaism.  Or something.  How can it be this huge deal regarding transgenderation?   And now it is a bigger deal because anyone can imagine itself to be any sex whatsoever and exercise the the rights and privileges that come with it.

I fancy myself a 6' 4" Honduran pole dancer and book shop owner.  Any word to the contrary from anyone just proves that they are xenophobic, racist (of course), sexist bullies, and anti-literate.

What is being done here, and what the lunatics are doing to young children, is not healthy and, at best, is based upon junk science.  I will be told that is debatable.   I do not care to debate the structure of nature or the nature of rights.  Time will most likely prove me right, but I will probably be long gone by then.

Forcing a kid to be what he cannot is unkind, at best.  But pretending to be open while actually pushing some ill conceived act of love and tolerance upon him because he once picked up a doll is as bad.  Maybe worse.  Convincing yourself your young child is transgender at age five is nuts. Convincing him is cruel and wrong.  I have seen a couple of families who wanted to be on tv with their near toddler transgendered unfortunate.  They are pushing it. The kid knows nothing.

I think a lot of parents fall into a pattern of rewarding confusion that they actually create.   The child is getting all this loving attention--It is OK, my barely out of diapers child, we applaud your courageous stand in realizing you are a drag queen diva locked in a five year old boy's body.   And now the kid is special.  That is pretty much all the kid knows at that point, "If I act a certain way, I get a certain reward."  Kids sense that progressive pride a parent feels when the child is the center of a controversy they can sink their teeth into.

The zanier the better.  And even better yet if it inconveniences others. After all those others are selfish mean bastards who don't care or understand. No escaping these people.  Ignore them and they block the roads. It's like all the gimme dolla guys around Memphis.  They are relentless and all pervasive.  They just won't go away.

All the special talk and controversy.  That kid now has found the way to the zone where no one can criticize him, and people come to coddle him and soothe his pain--whether any exists or not.

This episode will someday be viewed as a flight of fancy and a bunch of nonsense.  Many think this is progress, as defined by progressives.  That is a misnomer unless you take it to mean progressively more draconian and insane.

They should more accuratetly call themselves "oppressives".  Those are the ones who think it is OK to stop traffic in the name of their cause, because they are righteous.  They are the ones who think shouting people down or otherwise denying them the right to speak is OK, because they know what the person was saying was somehow damaging and can't be heard.  Just can't.  Might trigger the fragile sensibilities of the faithful and make them feel unsafe.

I know the feeling.  I watched some Hollywood nitwit spend all his time telling everyone to use only one little square of toilet paper in order to save the planet, rain forests, and God only knows what else.  That is a progressivism in a nut shell.  Misguided collectivists idealists.  Get me the fumigator.

And though time may prove me right, the creative scribes of history will likely cast a fantasy land version of reality as the definitive record of this period of time. 

It seems like it would be one thing if someone got the surgery to approximate the sex they weren't but insisted they were inside.  But you go showering with the girls  at high school age?   Some may be disturbed by the mismatch between some body parts and self assessment.

That is the only problematic situation I see in this deal.  If they had said, when I was seventeen, that  I could go shower in the girls locker room if I felt like a girl inside, I suspect several of my pals and I would have suddenly found our inner girls and skipped right on over there.

Denying reality while trying to pretend to be compassionate does not change that reality.  Someone went out of their way to dream up this non-issue.  One day there will be a name for this particular madness.  It may even be found that it is a brain infection caused by soy milk or some mosquito borne virus.

Honestly, I do not care.  But I am not female, and not raising children.  It is very hard just to avoid most of the stuff on cable when you have kids.

Then you have dumbass politicians who no doubt think they are conservative.  Conserving thought, apparently.  They have to create an issue, then go all old west, neck tie party reactionary in fixing in while grandstanding.   It is nonsense.  Both of the sides of this issue are pretty much being idiotic and functioning with partial information because it suits their desires.

I must confess.  Just the other day I used the ladies room because the men's room was unavailable and I was in need.  I have done it many times, taking extra care not to cause moisture to occur on the seat.  I did not have my birth certificate in hand so that could have been trouble.  

SoCal anomalies

A couple of things about the CA culture that stand out are the refusal to clearly post location information on websites for companies, and any event promotion.  There is a real aversion to making it very obvious.

The other thing is that people hate to tie things down in a way that secures the property even if that first skinny piece of string breaks.  They hate to be sure couches and refrigerators won't fall onto the highway.  Half the time they just keep going.  Someone else gets the goods.

If you listen to the traffic reports you can be alerted to good stuff in the road.  "On the 5 south [they always do that 'the' thing with roads] there's a couch in lanes, slowing traffic near the 805 split."  Or it may be an appliance.  Or even an engine block.  One day it was a differential.  The traffic guy knows his jetsam and flotsam.

Can You Imagine Such a Reality Ripple?

When core beliefs or skepticisms are proven wrong or otherwise discovered to be so, it shakes one's reality.  That is the affect on me.  It is a weird kind of feeling.  Like a shock and your body slams a jolt of adrenalin in there.

I realize that I have a totally different view of life than I did even three or four years ago; what matters, things like that.   It is freaking me out because it nullifies almost everything about me, by my reckoning.

So, I have to find ways to defeat that thinking. And feeling.  I believe all that.  Maybe I should assume that there is a reason for all my complete acceptance of misinformation and insistence upon insane judgment calls.  It is a very haunting sensation that tends to last far too long.

Oh forget that!

What amazes me about humans is how much technological progress they have made.  In truth, sociological, too, though we tend to revert.  But our species has managed to create some fairly clean and functional cities, and comfort which is only had by tricking and bending nature.  Protecting ourselves from its whims and bugs.

What has happened in only a few lifetimes is remarkable.  The cumulative effect from the efforts of many independent creators, mostly not even aware of one another.

I need to stop and ponder.  Best course of action is almost always obvious, just not always the most convenient.  Even so, why would anyone have a reflexive aversion to saving himself certain pain and remorse?  There is no reasonable reason, so let's just not consider that an option.  Any more.