Democrats sure can't, anyway. Maybe because their talking point organizations and web sites make them feel like part of the process. Maybe even like victims!! No one can resist the victim thing. It gives the excuse to suspend, or never bother learning, logic; it gives them the right prohibit the free exercise of rights by those who do not think and speak as they think everyone should.
That self righteous bit of, "oh, he's dangerous!! Anyone supporting that candidate is evil and should also be silenced." Come on. These histrionics are getting old.
I spent some time at work this past week, staying over. It seemed like MSNBC and CNN were running Trump bashing 24/7. Last week they were advertising Trump's speech coming up that they were going to cover. So when he started talking and wasn't saying what they wanted him to say, they broke away, promising to "monitor" the speech until he discussed what they wanted to cover and report. It was unbelievable.
I don't really like Trump. He has always rubbed me the wrong way in how he conducts his public feuds. He sounds like what I never cared for about New Yorkers. Probably have to be from the south to even understand that. If he was black, I would be racist. Since he is Trump, all is fair game.
I am almost clueless regarding republican stuff. They care much more than I do about things not to do with me. Abortion. Under most circumstances, even if I had the skills, I would not perform the procedure. I do not like it. I do not like flying Vee guitars either though the two are NOT analogous.
The point is, you are doing more to promote it than you are to solve the problem. There are many wrong practices about. I think you are wrong to go traipsing to other countries, or the Mideast, on some holy f'ing mission to save the unwashed, but you do not make even a dent in the riffraff neighborhoods in this country. Inner cities and gangs run on classic ignorant redneck values. It is so ironic and sad. Both groups are idiots and bigots. So how is a sane person supposed to get past that if that is where they landed on planet earth?
No telling. Maybe facing the truth, and being told the truth would help. Lies run rampant. I worked with a guy who thought Wisconsin dairy industry was built on slave labor. He thought every bit of what was built in our history before maybe 1900 was slave labor. And he strutted around and cast himself as an intellectual and rebel.
Yahoo. Seriously though, does it not bother anyone to see such one sided journalism? I admit Fox is sometimes full of it too, but seriously, nothing like the others. No wonder dems hate Fox. That is the only station which is not going overboard doing their pr and campaigning for them.
And really, forget Trump for just a second. You can resume the mindless parroting of attack memes in a minute. Can the people pretending that all Hillary's scandals are invented in conspiratorial right wing enclaves really believe that? Pretending that Hillary is not a crook and a scammer has to be difficult. But maybe not if you are one of those angry people who likes to force others to give up things or do things they don't like.
If you are saving the earth by not using toilet paper you want to force others to be like you. Lunatics. When did it first become cool to jump boundaries and mind everyone's business, like if they smoke or are obese? Government problems. I do not agree that they are.
And that is where I often differ with well meaning, misguided friends and relatives.
The democrats are almost winning me over--to Trump. For a minute the repubs were making Clinton look good, but that shine was very short lived. It may be my heartbreaking experience with public schools growing up. Not bullied and that but just way outside everything. Put off by the system, the perverted teachers and maybe just Miami in general. Others thought I was happy and "popular". I never understood popular and others sure did not know me.
Anyway, dems like Warren and Biden and Clinton are reminiscent of public school teachers who discounted me and academically made life frustrating. Didn't try hard enough. And that was the line even if I got As. They did not like it that I hung out with the riffraff and occasionally beat up a bully. Elementary school. Life was easier then, except for the powers that be. They sucked. And they acted just like today's democrats.
Very hard to explain. Repubs are the same, but they were few are far between. Plus they were not as nasty to me. They may have been dems too but they didn't have that Warren/Biden?Schumer thing going. So many people just con you openly. Whatisname Boener. Those guys are professional cronies.
Anyway. I wonder if the one sided approach makes Trump seem more reasonable than other people expected, too. Really, they are having the opposite effect.
Names may be spelled wrong. I'm too lazy to check.
I am just is awe of the koolaid running on facebook and elsewhere. Look, maybe you do not like a candidate, but don't you find it a little insulting when your team throws out these wild, panicky claims regarding the other candidate? I mean pure propaganda nonsense. The stuff of old cowboy show lynch mobs. Takes half a thought to be expressed and the whole town is stoked about the prospects of a "neck tie" party.
Don't people get tired of saying, "But look at him/her" every time some criticism of your candidate comes up? Doesn't it feel creepy to be all wrapped up in a personality (in Hillary's case, alleged personality) instead of a philosophy?
When you can go to the beach and get tons of signatures on a petition to repeal the Bill of Rights, why would I think people are willing or able to notice that the top republicans and democrats are ruthless con artists and have been for some time?
Wednesday, September 7, 2016
Saturday, September 3, 2016
It Takes A Village of Idiots
The whole Colin caper episode is ridiculous. It has nothing to do with sitting or standing. I often question the kneejerk allegiance to state that we are urged to follow. Especially the pledge---written by a socialist holy man long after Washington and Jefferson had made their exits. Originally the hand over the heart was a straight arm salute, like the heil Hitler salute of WW2. So they had to change that part.
Also, even though the socialist was some sort of Christian holy man, it did not include the words "under God". People get worked up without realizing these things are dripping in collectivist philosophy and power lust.
Obviously, Colin has no such train of thought. He is a total fool. Number one, "of color" people are not persecuted and are not more likely to be killed by cops than white people. They are more likely to create crime and crime ridden neighborhoods...lately while blaming their of-no-color (people of transparency?") countrymen.
The police problem is a problem, but rarely in connection with what is protested. Militarizing cops, and allow no knock searches over nonsense is wrong. They have gone to the wrong house and killed people, maimed babies, etc. But you can thank fools who suckered for the "law and order" rhetoric of decades past, who decided the 4th amendment didn't apply if someone might have drugs. Those people were duped. They are being duped now too.
What kind of idiot, claiming some altruistic, humanitarian motive for attention grabbing, wears a Castro shirt? I'm not sure of everything that shirt is supposed to convey, I had a poor look at it. I do not think it says that Castro is a murdering thug who harasses women and dissidents.
The real nonsense is that the facts do not support his assertions about police. And I do not like cops much. They are willing to enforce laws which are wrong. I don't think much of that. But it is because we elect crooks who make laws that are wrong or unnecessary. But do not slam them when they are not wrong. The false info fed into the 'hood is criminal. Then you get true idiots, like this millionaire, trying to win the love of equally ignorant and stupid homies, furthering the misinformation.
Like the "hands up, don't shoot" meme. IT NEVER HAPPENED. This is from eye witnesses. Eye witnesses OF COLOR.
Do you realize how absurd that label, of color, is? Colored? Really? God, there are so many people who se everything as race or ethnicity. But they call it all race, so you can be a racist for not liking certain cultures. I do not like cannibal cultures or loud ones, or cultures which boil cats alive and eat them. But we are told there is no "better" in the world of ethnic nonsense. Hell yes, there is!
So this fool gets all this damned attention. And people take sides because they always take sides. Facts be damned. News says Blacks are being murdered by cops and they worry about leaving the house because of police. Really? Of color people shot up other of color people at an alarming rate. Especially compared to the rate at which colorless people shoot them. Or anyone for that matter.
You are like 6 or 8 times more likely to be killed or assaulted by of color people than colorless. So, really, just get off of making everything, including climate change, about race or gender bending or some other ridiculous condition which has zero to do with thought or action.
Can't you easily sense the propaganda every time you turn on CNN or MSNBC or even Fox? It is shameless. They are pandering to the colored among us. And to the colorless. In ways that take no deep insight to spot. Manipulating. But usually there is a payoff in the form of official victimhood, which takes all barriers away so that your violence and property destruction is excused. You gain special status and now you can pretend your life sucks because of everyone else. Not because you are bad at living well.
Personally, I will salute the Flag because it is the only one that originated with people attempting to establish natural law and universal liberty, regardless of the times and compromises made. The lies about what this country means are a feel good tribute to angry brats and those who only get partial truth 24 hours a day. Why is Colin not outraged that there is still slavery in Africa? Of color people terrorizing, raping and enslaving others of hue. Hypocrites everywhere.
Anyway. I would neither boo nor acknowledge Colin's stupid ass antics. He is embarrassingly ignorant. If a Cuban ripped his shirt off or threw red paint on it, I would only say he had it coming.
What a victim poor Colin is. Those evil colorless people who took him in and raised him reallty should be jailed or fined or something. How could they be so insensitive.
Also, even though the socialist was some sort of Christian holy man, it did not include the words "under God". People get worked up without realizing these things are dripping in collectivist philosophy and power lust.
Obviously, Colin has no such train of thought. He is a total fool. Number one, "of color" people are not persecuted and are not more likely to be killed by cops than white people. They are more likely to create crime and crime ridden neighborhoods...lately while blaming their of-no-color (people of transparency?") countrymen.
The police problem is a problem, but rarely in connection with what is protested. Militarizing cops, and allow no knock searches over nonsense is wrong. They have gone to the wrong house and killed people, maimed babies, etc. But you can thank fools who suckered for the "law and order" rhetoric of decades past, who decided the 4th amendment didn't apply if someone might have drugs. Those people were duped. They are being duped now too.
What kind of idiot, claiming some altruistic, humanitarian motive for attention grabbing, wears a Castro shirt? I'm not sure of everything that shirt is supposed to convey, I had a poor look at it. I do not think it says that Castro is a murdering thug who harasses women and dissidents.
The real nonsense is that the facts do not support his assertions about police. And I do not like cops much. They are willing to enforce laws which are wrong. I don't think much of that. But it is because we elect crooks who make laws that are wrong or unnecessary. But do not slam them when they are not wrong. The false info fed into the 'hood is criminal. Then you get true idiots, like this millionaire, trying to win the love of equally ignorant and stupid homies, furthering the misinformation.
Like the "hands up, don't shoot" meme. IT NEVER HAPPENED. This is from eye witnesses. Eye witnesses OF COLOR.
Do you realize how absurd that label, of color, is? Colored? Really? God, there are so many people who se everything as race or ethnicity. But they call it all race, so you can be a racist for not liking certain cultures. I do not like cannibal cultures or loud ones, or cultures which boil cats alive and eat them. But we are told there is no "better" in the world of ethnic nonsense. Hell yes, there is!
So this fool gets all this damned attention. And people take sides because they always take sides. Facts be damned. News says Blacks are being murdered by cops and they worry about leaving the house because of police. Really? Of color people shot up other of color people at an alarming rate. Especially compared to the rate at which colorless people shoot them. Or anyone for that matter.
You are like 6 or 8 times more likely to be killed or assaulted by of color people than colorless. So, really, just get off of making everything, including climate change, about race or gender bending or some other ridiculous condition which has zero to do with thought or action.
Can't you easily sense the propaganda every time you turn on CNN or MSNBC or even Fox? It is shameless. They are pandering to the colored among us. And to the colorless. In ways that take no deep insight to spot. Manipulating. But usually there is a payoff in the form of official victimhood, which takes all barriers away so that your violence and property destruction is excused. You gain special status and now you can pretend your life sucks because of everyone else. Not because you are bad at living well.
Personally, I will salute the Flag because it is the only one that originated with people attempting to establish natural law and universal liberty, regardless of the times and compromises made. The lies about what this country means are a feel good tribute to angry brats and those who only get partial truth 24 hours a day. Why is Colin not outraged that there is still slavery in Africa? Of color people terrorizing, raping and enslaving others of hue. Hypocrites everywhere.
Anyway. I would neither boo nor acknowledge Colin's stupid ass antics. He is embarrassingly ignorant. If a Cuban ripped his shirt off or threw red paint on it, I would only say he had it coming.
What a victim poor Colin is. Those evil colorless people who took him in and raised him reallty should be jailed or fined or something. How could they be so insensitive.
Tuesday, August 23, 2016
Toots Is Gone
Toots Thielemans was the premier harmonica man in European and American jazz for many decades. He lived to be 94 years old. And he finally moved on just yesterday.
My Toots experience is another one of those things which underlines heartbreak of my own making; an offshoot of ignorance and distorted view of reality hammered into me by family, which was way more extreme than most would ever believe.
Cemented that much more from living in a very shallow, mean and base-minded community, and a neighborhood which ridiculed behind your back relentlessly. And to your face if a big enough crowd was there, willing to help the humiliation. There were those who never ever bucked the crowd, for fear they would become the target. Moral cowards. I was rarely confronted directly, but I knew my family was odd one out. Boy, did I ever know! So I won't attempt to paint that picture further.
When I met Mr. Thielemans, he was being a bit mischievous, but at the same time offering me an opportunity like few musicians ever get. I was too screwed up to bite. So, adios, Toots, you at least gave it a shot.
A life of regret is hardly a life. Certainly it is not the ideal way to best treasure this amazing phenomenon of living. Getting sick in a chronic, if not necessarily immediately terminal way, did help me see the awesome aspect of all living things. Existence, itself, is beyond anything that makes sense.
Mr. Thielemans was an example of one who did things right. As nearly as I can tell, he was a more humble, decent person than what jazz and other music often enjoy.
He actually began as a guitar player and had good success with that, playing with the top big bands of late 40's early 50's. He kept going until 2014 when his health caused him to cancel concerts and retire. He died in his sleep. Probably a happy man.
That is a good reason to finally quit being so sad; better to die happy than to exit wondering what the heck this whole misadventure was about, and why was it so poorly managed.
Anyway, thank you for your overture toward me way back then, and sorry for my stubborn self destruction and misguided ideas of everything which caused me to miss my cue. You were most gracious. I wish I had known something. Otherwise, I wish I had never become even slightly involved in performing. I wish so many things could be different, but they aren't, and this is what people most see as something I do that is half way competent.
Truthfully I was a much more naturally gifted mathematician or physicist or engineer than I was anything to do with music or art. I rarely like the kingpins of the arts or music. They are pushy, and annoying, and will shut down others out of petty jealousy and self aggrandizement. They are not the best of society.
The inventors of machines which make the air clean and of comfortable temperature, of machines that can take you from point A to point B safely and comfortably, of medical breakthroughs, etc.; those are the heroes. Beyonce and her thug buddy Jay Z are nothing. She can sing and is great, but can't hold a candle to any great engineer. We have it upside down for who is admired. We admire con artists and scumbags whenever possible it seems.
Anyway, Jean-Baptiste, our little conversation stuck with me. You tried. I have never known exactly how to try. Or even how to cry and be done with it.
So, what overly stupid thing am I doing now? What bliss is being offered that I cannot see? Why is sadness and illness all I know? I am in good enough shape. To others I "look better than (they've) ever seen me!" Really? wow. They haven't known me that long.
Seriously, one can only handle so much. I wonder what will happen when I do reach my limit. It must be near because I am not finding surviving this level of the muck to be a sustainable experience.
.
My Toots experience is another one of those things which underlines heartbreak of my own making; an offshoot of ignorance and distorted view of reality hammered into me by family, which was way more extreme than most would ever believe.
Cemented that much more from living in a very shallow, mean and base-minded community, and a neighborhood which ridiculed behind your back relentlessly. And to your face if a big enough crowd was there, willing to help the humiliation. There were those who never ever bucked the crowd, for fear they would become the target. Moral cowards. I was rarely confronted directly, but I knew my family was odd one out. Boy, did I ever know! So I won't attempt to paint that picture further.
When I met Mr. Thielemans, he was being a bit mischievous, but at the same time offering me an opportunity like few musicians ever get. I was too screwed up to bite. So, adios, Toots, you at least gave it a shot.
Here's a pic from six years ago. Money and maybe a sane, decent nature, along with talent and the ability to make others feel worthwhile tend to attract good mates. No wonder; I am an empty bucket on all counts these days.
The growing self hatred for my shortcomings may not be a constructive development. Need to shop for that parasail, and scout the highest peaks for the best launch for a long long flight.
A life of regret is hardly a life. Certainly it is not the ideal way to best treasure this amazing phenomenon of living. Getting sick in a chronic, if not necessarily immediately terminal way, did help me see the awesome aspect of all living things. Existence, itself, is beyond anything that makes sense.
Mr. Thielemans was an example of one who did things right. As nearly as I can tell, he was a more humble, decent person than what jazz and other music often enjoy.
He actually began as a guitar player and had good success with that, playing with the top big bands of late 40's early 50's. He kept going until 2014 when his health caused him to cancel concerts and retire. He died in his sleep. Probably a happy man.
That is a good reason to finally quit being so sad; better to die happy than to exit wondering what the heck this whole misadventure was about, and why was it so poorly managed.
Anyway, thank you for your overture toward me way back then, and sorry for my stubborn self destruction and misguided ideas of everything which caused me to miss my cue. You were most gracious. I wish I had known something. Otherwise, I wish I had never become even slightly involved in performing. I wish so many things could be different, but they aren't, and this is what people most see as something I do that is half way competent.
Truthfully I was a much more naturally gifted mathematician or physicist or engineer than I was anything to do with music or art. I rarely like the kingpins of the arts or music. They are pushy, and annoying, and will shut down others out of petty jealousy and self aggrandizement. They are not the best of society.
The inventors of machines which make the air clean and of comfortable temperature, of machines that can take you from point A to point B safely and comfortably, of medical breakthroughs, etc.; those are the heroes. Beyonce and her thug buddy Jay Z are nothing. She can sing and is great, but can't hold a candle to any great engineer. We have it upside down for who is admired. We admire con artists and scumbags whenever possible it seems.
Anyway, Jean-Baptiste, our little conversation stuck with me. You tried. I have never known exactly how to try. Or even how to cry and be done with it.
So, what overly stupid thing am I doing now? What bliss is being offered that I cannot see? Why is sadness and illness all I know? I am in good enough shape. To others I "look better than (they've) ever seen me!" Really? wow. They haven't known me that long.
Seriously, one can only handle so much. I wonder what will happen when I do reach my limit. It must be near because I am not finding surviving this level of the muck to be a sustainable experience.
.
Saturday, August 20, 2016
Soothing the Savage Beast
Once again we played Demille's Italian restaurant on Adams ave. At first there were only a couple of people there, and for the longest time. Then it filled up. We were outside on the outside dining patio or whatever one might call that. People on the sidewalk can lean on the wall and watch.
Several did. There is a bus stop just across the sidewalk and down about ten yards. A couple of people opted to let the bus go on and waited for the next one so they could enjoy the show.
I felt good about my efforts and everyone else's tonight. Amazing how nauseous I have been feeling but when I play, none of that has power. Plus I have my little remedies. Still, playing, when I can feel some freedom--meaning I am half way familiar with material and everyone is on pitch and making sense--then I seem to float in a different dimension. It was a very happy place tonight.
That must be my "safe space". But I rarely chase people out for being white or some other misnomer of a description.
I kind of enjoyed pissing off some facebook folk. But ridicule politics have just about run my patience and self restraint into the ground. People who play the intellectual are all up in arms when their side is the recipient of nonsensical cheap shots, photoshopped propaganda, etc., yet they jump on the bully bandwagon of personal attack and insult any chance they get. I called them on it.
Oh boy, so of course the ridicule turns to me. Geriatric internet badasses, being just insulting enough that I might be tempted to kick them in the crotch, with ferocity, should we be using the same language in person.
And, I understand with places where we try to nation build or other intrusive foolishness, but Canada? I don't get all up their face over Canadian politics. It would be impolite. I find it impolite when foreign people, not living here get overly involved in our crazy governmental affairs. For one thing, their info is even more skewed than ours because they aren't here to experience it first hand. **Even though much of our local news is best found in foreign media**. We are ill informed as it is.
But, you get a better sense of a place if you are there. People forget that in their haste to jump to conclusions about debatable or unclear circumstances, some distance away. If the info available is through an AP or other fine journalist, then God only knows what the truth actually is.
Like hands up, don't shoot. That scenario never happened. It was proven, but those who trade in chaos and racial hatred hate the truth as much as they hate people in general, and white people in particular.
Truth is, guilty whites who are set in a way in which they have nothing to lose are the ones who invent most of the racial hatred talking points, like the misguided guilt over "privilege". These people think Blacks are too stupid to fend for themselves or even complete normal achievements in particular circumstances s well as whites.
====really, everything about the present setup seems designed to maintain a hostile racial divide with a large number of Black neighborhoods being anything but diverse, happy, healthy, safe, or anything else positive. But they get the votes in a friggin block, wrapped neatly. The whole thing is screwed up. I have seen real discrimination, and real hypocrisy. Either content of character, acts and deeds trump race, or they don't. The pandering elitist trying to hide their colors seem to go with the "don't" option.====
Seriously, Black people are not stupid or weak, but the culture of the 'hood, promoted by pandering white elitists, is unworkable, without much merit, and not constructive. It keeps people living, culturally, like predatory animals, and it keeps them uneducated, irresponsible for children and much else, and angry at everyone. This pretense of helping while doing anything possible to decimate an ethnic culture (the redneck-like culture of the hood is not African or anything but redneck--gang attitude etc. See Thomas Sowell's book on the subject. He explains where the redneck culture came from originally. Not funny, country boy redneck, but proud-of-ignorance redneck.
It blew me away that Sowell's take on what redneck is, for want of another word, is not necessarily confined to a race, but absolutely to behavior.
A culture of anger and resentment is being fomented; and to a large degree by elitist white people pretending to be "fighting for" whatever the mob wants.. Just take a walk in your local 'hood, and if you come out alive, you will know this is true.
I blame the white politicians and demagogues as much as I do the Jesse Js and Al Sharptons of the world for the half truths and the cult of anger and lack of conscience in the inner cities, and even the outer. You can either celebrate anger and throw gas on the fire, or seriously clean up the situation and quit enabling self destruction. The advent of "white privilege", insistence upon pretending that institutional racism this huge issue harming all "people of color" [[**Keeeeryst!!! do these people even hear themselves? Not that long ago the phrase, "of color" would have had all the people obsessed with race all over you.]] is a dangerous approach to take if you want a peaceful heterogenous society. Or even peaceful segregated.
You have all these racial chauvinists, claiming they aren't racist because they are not white, yet they want separation. And even more violently racist goals. Enter the Hillarys of the world. Let's not only promote half truths, but make sure that all our verbal efforts lead toward hatred and divisiveness based upon race and/or ethnicity; or other physical things like tarnsylvestia
Opportunists do not care about the damage done to strangers, the culture, anything. The most conspicuous battles for power in our field of view and experience is between opportunists. Amoral people. Some of what passes as morality is not, in my book. But with no code of values you are a lower form of life. All people are not equal, except in their opportunity to make their own good time and not at the expense of others.
Otherwise, I would consider the deceivers and thieves and thugs in all walks of life, particularly government, a lower class of person. Those who respect the rights of others, natural rights, are the people you want in your neighborhood. I do. And in my life. period. or should I say "dot"? Well there already is a period. Maybe two. Or more.
Anyway. Today I am wanting to tell everyone off. Why, I do not know, really. But when I was playing with Sande and the others tonight, no negative image or thought while we were actually playing. I felt good.
Soothed, even
.
Several did. There is a bus stop just across the sidewalk and down about ten yards. A couple of people opted to let the bus go on and waited for the next one so they could enjoy the show.
I felt good about my efforts and everyone else's tonight. Amazing how nauseous I have been feeling but when I play, none of that has power. Plus I have my little remedies. Still, playing, when I can feel some freedom--meaning I am half way familiar with material and everyone is on pitch and making sense--then I seem to float in a different dimension. It was a very happy place tonight.
That must be my "safe space". But I rarely chase people out for being white or some other misnomer of a description.
I kind of enjoyed pissing off some facebook folk. But ridicule politics have just about run my patience and self restraint into the ground. People who play the intellectual are all up in arms when their side is the recipient of nonsensical cheap shots, photoshopped propaganda, etc., yet they jump on the bully bandwagon of personal attack and insult any chance they get. I called them on it.
Oh boy, so of course the ridicule turns to me. Geriatric internet badasses, being just insulting enough that I might be tempted to kick them in the crotch, with ferocity, should we be using the same language in person.
And, I understand with places where we try to nation build or other intrusive foolishness, but Canada? I don't get all up their face over Canadian politics. It would be impolite. I find it impolite when foreign people, not living here get overly involved in our crazy governmental affairs. For one thing, their info is even more skewed than ours because they aren't here to experience it first hand. **Even though much of our local news is best found in foreign media**. We are ill informed as it is.
But, you get a better sense of a place if you are there. People forget that in their haste to jump to conclusions about debatable or unclear circumstances, some distance away. If the info available is through an AP or other fine journalist, then God only knows what the truth actually is.
Like hands up, don't shoot. That scenario never happened. It was proven, but those who trade in chaos and racial hatred hate the truth as much as they hate people in general, and white people in particular.
Truth is, guilty whites who are set in a way in which they have nothing to lose are the ones who invent most of the racial hatred talking points, like the misguided guilt over "privilege". These people think Blacks are too stupid to fend for themselves or even complete normal achievements in particular circumstances s well as whites.
====really, everything about the present setup seems designed to maintain a hostile racial divide with a large number of Black neighborhoods being anything but diverse, happy, healthy, safe, or anything else positive. But they get the votes in a friggin block, wrapped neatly. The whole thing is screwed up. I have seen real discrimination, and real hypocrisy. Either content of character, acts and deeds trump race, or they don't. The pandering elitist trying to hide their colors seem to go with the "don't" option.====
Seriously, Black people are not stupid or weak, but the culture of the 'hood, promoted by pandering white elitists, is unworkable, without much merit, and not constructive. It keeps people living, culturally, like predatory animals, and it keeps them uneducated, irresponsible for children and much else, and angry at everyone. This pretense of helping while doing anything possible to decimate an ethnic culture (the redneck-like culture of the hood is not African or anything but redneck--gang attitude etc. See Thomas Sowell's book on the subject. He explains where the redneck culture came from originally. Not funny, country boy redneck, but proud-of-ignorance redneck.
It blew me away that Sowell's take on what redneck is, for want of another word, is not necessarily confined to a race, but absolutely to behavior.
A culture of anger and resentment is being fomented; and to a large degree by elitist white people pretending to be "fighting for" whatever the mob wants.. Just take a walk in your local 'hood, and if you come out alive, you will know this is true.
I blame the white politicians and demagogues as much as I do the Jesse Js and Al Sharptons of the world for the half truths and the cult of anger and lack of conscience in the inner cities, and even the outer. You can either celebrate anger and throw gas on the fire, or seriously clean up the situation and quit enabling self destruction. The advent of "white privilege", insistence upon pretending that institutional racism this huge issue harming all "people of color" [[**Keeeeryst!!! do these people even hear themselves? Not that long ago the phrase, "of color" would have had all the people obsessed with race all over you.]] is a dangerous approach to take if you want a peaceful heterogenous society. Or even peaceful segregated.
You have all these racial chauvinists, claiming they aren't racist because they are not white, yet they want separation. And even more violently racist goals. Enter the Hillarys of the world. Let's not only promote half truths, but make sure that all our verbal efforts lead toward hatred and divisiveness based upon race and/or ethnicity; or other physical things like tarnsylvestia
Opportunists do not care about the damage done to strangers, the culture, anything. The most conspicuous battles for power in our field of view and experience is between opportunists. Amoral people. Some of what passes as morality is not, in my book. But with no code of values you are a lower form of life. All people are not equal, except in their opportunity to make their own good time and not at the expense of others.
Otherwise, I would consider the deceivers and thieves and thugs in all walks of life, particularly government, a lower class of person. Those who respect the rights of others, natural rights, are the people you want in your neighborhood. I do. And in my life. period. or should I say "dot"? Well there already is a period. Maybe two. Or more.
Anyway. Today I am wanting to tell everyone off. Why, I do not know, really. But when I was playing with Sande and the others tonight, no negative image or thought while we were actually playing. I felt good.
Soothed, even
.
Tuesday, August 16, 2016
It's a Yoyo Life, But Hope May Be The Pragmatic Approach
My comment about hope being pragmatic is the result of my own recent experiences and experiences shared on forums about aquagenic pruritus and such. One lady on the AP page said she wants to just give up; can't take it any more.
Had I found no relief, I would be right there with her. But, from time to time, I have found relief and it can be a huge relief, and a big surprise at once. I had been so free of the attacks that I almost headed to work on Saturday without my usual one or two extra T shirts and shirts, And extra pants.
I have carried spare clothes for a couple of years because if an attack started changing to a clean dry shirt often helped, and if I had to shower etc, I needed the clothes. At one outdoor show, I changed three times before the start.
I was doing so well I was not doing the spare clothes routine. But, just to be sure, I tossed a couple of t shirts and a shirt in the car. Good thing. I had an attack, and nothing I could do. I had to use the shower to make it gop quickly and to reduce the extreme discomfort. I was so mad.
Just free floating anger. I am not one who thinks God is a sadist because I am having a little trouble, so I don't start in on that tack. I just pounded the steering wheel in my car and acted like a two year old, mostly. Auto's AC wouldn't do the trick. Good thing I could avail of the shower that day and still be done in the ridiculous amount of time we had. I wonder if my coworkers hate me.
I do everything I can to make up for my glitches. When I can come in over night I work late late late. Safest time.
Even with the return of the nasty pruritus attack, I'd say the overall trend with health is improvement. For the last couple of years it has isolated me, made crazy, limited me like you would not believe.
Now most of the time I am not ultra foggy. Or I should say I am not that way all the time as much as I was. I am gradually finding energy. I am not positive which of a few actions I have taken may be contributing to the improvement,. I have a pretty good idea, though. Bit of a dilemma but that is life. Dogmatic and rigid biases and mistaken viewpoints do not work out sometimes.
Anyway. None of the part about making a life and minimizing this blood issue is far fetched. It is possible. The toughest part is probably my defeatist depression and extreme sadness, when it creeps around.
I have been so grumpy, edgy and angry that maybe it is OK. Getting mad and refusing defeat may be what it takes to forget how lonesomely depressed I can be. I come from a family with a few wackos in the gene pool. Brilliant, but seriously off balance. Did the best they could. Does not mean I have to give in to all the insanity genes that may have come my way through either parent or both.
Well, OK. It is too late, sort of. But finding a life from here on out is a huge challenge because A) I do not really know how
and B) In my mind it is too late. But I thought it was too late at 35 or 40, too. How did that work out?
I know it is not true, but a WW2 vet I know who is 95 I think, and plays uke and harmonica, said he likes my playing the best in the state. It is not at all the veracity of the comment that is touching, but the fact he would say that and believe it. You would not believe this guy's wind. He can blow one of those Hawaiian conch shell things for a healthy spell before coming up for air. When I was smoking I think he could beat me. He is a good harmonica player too.
How do I so often forget the good fortune I have with people I come to know? I guess I often hide from them for fear of talking to anyone distant when I am so down. Really. I have shut off from my favorite people because outside of specific music obligations or work, I couldn't talk to anyone.
It is like trying to hide because I feel like the real me during those periods would be a sap on the positive energy of good people. Or I can't face the shame of being such a colossal under achiever, especially since I should have known better. How come I didn't?
I think abuse, and maybe a touch of autism and my own secret retardation, mentally challenged MF syndrome, is partly to blame. But mostly it is because I asm not a very astute person. Not a bad person I don't think, but not too good, either.
Had I found no relief, I would be right there with her. But, from time to time, I have found relief and it can be a huge relief, and a big surprise at once. I had been so free of the attacks that I almost headed to work on Saturday without my usual one or two extra T shirts and shirts, And extra pants.
I have carried spare clothes for a couple of years because if an attack started changing to a clean dry shirt often helped, and if I had to shower etc, I needed the clothes. At one outdoor show, I changed three times before the start.
I was doing so well I was not doing the spare clothes routine. But, just to be sure, I tossed a couple of t shirts and a shirt in the car. Good thing. I had an attack, and nothing I could do. I had to use the shower to make it gop quickly and to reduce the extreme discomfort. I was so mad.
Just free floating anger. I am not one who thinks God is a sadist because I am having a little trouble, so I don't start in on that tack. I just pounded the steering wheel in my car and acted like a two year old, mostly. Auto's AC wouldn't do the trick. Good thing I could avail of the shower that day and still be done in the ridiculous amount of time we had. I wonder if my coworkers hate me.
I do everything I can to make up for my glitches. When I can come in over night I work late late late. Safest time.
Even with the return of the nasty pruritus attack, I'd say the overall trend with health is improvement. For the last couple of years it has isolated me, made crazy, limited me like you would not believe.
Now most of the time I am not ultra foggy. Or I should say I am not that way all the time as much as I was. I am gradually finding energy. I am not positive which of a few actions I have taken may be contributing to the improvement,. I have a pretty good idea, though. Bit of a dilemma but that is life. Dogmatic and rigid biases and mistaken viewpoints do not work out sometimes.
Anyway. None of the part about making a life and minimizing this blood issue is far fetched. It is possible. The toughest part is probably my defeatist depression and extreme sadness, when it creeps around.
I have been so grumpy, edgy and angry that maybe it is OK. Getting mad and refusing defeat may be what it takes to forget how lonesomely depressed I can be. I come from a family with a few wackos in the gene pool. Brilliant, but seriously off balance. Did the best they could. Does not mean I have to give in to all the insanity genes that may have come my way through either parent or both.
Well, OK. It is too late, sort of. But finding a life from here on out is a huge challenge because A) I do not really know how
and B) In my mind it is too late. But I thought it was too late at 35 or 40, too. How did that work out?
I know it is not true, but a WW2 vet I know who is 95 I think, and plays uke and harmonica, said he likes my playing the best in the state. It is not at all the veracity of the comment that is touching, but the fact he would say that and believe it. You would not believe this guy's wind. He can blow one of those Hawaiian conch shell things for a healthy spell before coming up for air. When I was smoking I think he could beat me. He is a good harmonica player too.
How do I so often forget the good fortune I have with people I come to know? I guess I often hide from them for fear of talking to anyone distant when I am so down. Really. I have shut off from my favorite people because outside of specific music obligations or work, I couldn't talk to anyone.
It is like trying to hide because I feel like the real me during those periods would be a sap on the positive energy of good people. Or I can't face the shame of being such a colossal under achiever, especially since I should have known better. How come I didn't?
I think abuse, and maybe a touch of autism and my own secret retardation, mentally challenged MF syndrome, is partly to blame. But mostly it is because I asm not a very astute person. Not a bad person I don't think, but not too good, either.
Sunday, August 14, 2016
Government Promotes Senior Traffic Death
Journalism ought to be my profession. By that I mean it pays me enough to be way better off than now I think I am.
Here's how they operate. They have medicare part xyz or maybe ABC. Who cares? And if you are like me and suspect you could need the good stuff, you get the gap insurance sort of thing. Normally, a rip off.
So. Your glasses of the last five years break because you fall on them. You were falling a lot there for a few days. Got that out of my system for awhile. It happens every few months, or years. One can never really be certain.
The prescription sunglasses are intact but so scratched up it is hard to say what is being viewed, in detail. I van discern large from small animals and vehicles. I figured regular glasses are the priority in case I have to read really fine print and clear specs have a slight edge over shades.
Well, the insurance only pays for glasses after cataract surgery, and maybe if an eye falls out. Even then, you select from North Korea's latest eyeglass fashions.
They actually fixed my old glasses. I am impressed. I should have abused their good will and run off without spending money. But, nooo. I had to go for the progressive lens, with no political implications, with amalgamated, wisteria-clad-radonium, and memory-shatter technology. You never know when you need your lenses to double as a satellite dish and transponder.
It is often hard for places to get a progressive lens right, at least so it feels right to me. This pair is as good as any I ever had. The ones I got in Memphis were good. I have to say, that place broke all of my Memphis customer service stereotypes. They were my best ocular health and vision experience.
But the point is, if you have medicare, either you are a sap, or you are poor. Glasses can easily be too expensive for the elder coot. Not leaving your lonely, solitary rural abode may be out of the question as well. So the pretend insurance of medicare figures maybe you'll blindly run into a tree and save everyone some money in the long haul. They are out to kill you.
Forget death panels, it is systemic, institutionalized homicide. Government assassins posed as unhelpful health bureaucrats. Really, how sneak is that when they make old people drive blind. And you wonder why they often drive oddly---cost of glasses to replace the broken pair.
Not that anyone owes me glasses. Just don't pretend to wake up wondering what you can do to help idiots, seniors and other groups who lap up pandering nonsense. You don't even care if the old losers can see. If they can't even afford glasses then to hell with them. They are just dead weight and worthless nobodies.
I am not sure we have any candidates running for Pope of the US who would both abolish the IRS, as we know it, and insist that if we are going to pretend insurance for the old and useless poor, then givem some dang glasses. And not that North Korean junk.
Here's how they operate. They have medicare part xyz or maybe ABC. Who cares? And if you are like me and suspect you could need the good stuff, you get the gap insurance sort of thing. Normally, a rip off.
So. Your glasses of the last five years break because you fall on them. You were falling a lot there for a few days. Got that out of my system for awhile. It happens every few months, or years. One can never really be certain.
The prescription sunglasses are intact but so scratched up it is hard to say what is being viewed, in detail. I van discern large from small animals and vehicles. I figured regular glasses are the priority in case I have to read really fine print and clear specs have a slight edge over shades.
Well, the insurance only pays for glasses after cataract surgery, and maybe if an eye falls out. Even then, you select from North Korea's latest eyeglass fashions.
They actually fixed my old glasses. I am impressed. I should have abused their good will and run off without spending money. But, nooo. I had to go for the progressive lens, with no political implications, with amalgamated, wisteria-clad-radonium, and memory-shatter technology. You never know when you need your lenses to double as a satellite dish and transponder.
It is often hard for places to get a progressive lens right, at least so it feels right to me. This pair is as good as any I ever had. The ones I got in Memphis were good. I have to say, that place broke all of my Memphis customer service stereotypes. They were my best ocular health and vision experience.
But the point is, if you have medicare, either you are a sap, or you are poor. Glasses can easily be too expensive for the elder coot. Not leaving your lonely, solitary rural abode may be out of the question as well. So the pretend insurance of medicare figures maybe you'll blindly run into a tree and save everyone some money in the long haul. They are out to kill you.
Forget death panels, it is systemic, institutionalized homicide. Government assassins posed as unhelpful health bureaucrats. Really, how sneak is that when they make old people drive blind. And you wonder why they often drive oddly---cost of glasses to replace the broken pair.
Not that anyone owes me glasses. Just don't pretend to wake up wondering what you can do to help idiots, seniors and other groups who lap up pandering nonsense. You don't even care if the old losers can see. If they can't even afford glasses then to hell with them. They are just dead weight and worthless nobodies.
I am not sure we have any candidates running for Pope of the US who would both abolish the IRS, as we know it, and insist that if we are going to pretend insurance for the old and useless poor, then givem some dang glasses. And not that North Korean junk.
Wednesday, August 10, 2016
One Step Forward and a bunch in all other directions
People may think I whine, but they have no clue what I really experience. When the fog gets this heavy, it is a little scary. Can't get up for more than a couple of minutes without felling sick. It sucks. But if I can establish some order and adhere to a reasonable schedule, I may survive OK>
Right now, I don't know. I pushed too hard, as was evident on ride back from work yesterday; several potentially fatal lapses in situational awareness. I think I was conscious, just in and out of the present reality.
Now I am stuck in an uncomfortable fog of fatigue and a little confusion. This sucks. I cannot give up yet.
I wish I truly believed in everything any religion has to offer. I cannot lie about that. I lost any faith some time ago. No idea why. Maybe lack of discipline, practice, or just being stupid. People who have faith are better off, I think. It almost doesn't matter that there is no proof, or the details of what it is they choose to believe. I do not believe those fools who think they know all there is about life and existence, claiming a belief in science. What does that mean? And how can you actually pretend to be scientific if you close off possibilities outside your immediate understanding?
The academia club can be a disgusting, annoying bunch of tripe. Never have I met more closed minded people than those who consider themselves the elite of academia, therefore the world. But right now, I am too weak to even slap any of them.
My whole body feels like big heavy slap of clay. Movement is not something it wants to initiate.
So many days, I say to myself, or the God I don't know if I believe exists, "Please. Not today. I can't die today, with this mess for others to sort. Please wait until I have things responsibly ordered. Then i will accept it. But for today, please do not let me die.
That is when I feel so heavy, and weak, and foggy, and dimwitted. I feels like my heart or a blood vessel in my brain could go at any time. So, I mentally prepare for the monumental effort it takes to sit up, and get up, walk across the room to swallow one low dose aspirin, as prescribed. I better do it. Maybe this change is because my blood has gone haywire. Too many platelets can be big trouble. Too few can be dangerous, too. I have tested with both conditions. Had to cut down on the hydrea when they tanked.
Now I can't wait for night, cool air and maybe a little sleep., This tired mess is not so good. But there are others who have no say so at all. They can't even move at all. SO I probably can do OK
Right now, I don't know. I pushed too hard, as was evident on ride back from work yesterday; several potentially fatal lapses in situational awareness. I think I was conscious, just in and out of the present reality.
Now I am stuck in an uncomfortable fog of fatigue and a little confusion. This sucks. I cannot give up yet.
I wish I truly believed in everything any religion has to offer. I cannot lie about that. I lost any faith some time ago. No idea why. Maybe lack of discipline, practice, or just being stupid. People who have faith are better off, I think. It almost doesn't matter that there is no proof, or the details of what it is they choose to believe. I do not believe those fools who think they know all there is about life and existence, claiming a belief in science. What does that mean? And how can you actually pretend to be scientific if you close off possibilities outside your immediate understanding?
The academia club can be a disgusting, annoying bunch of tripe. Never have I met more closed minded people than those who consider themselves the elite of academia, therefore the world. But right now, I am too weak to even slap any of them.
My whole body feels like big heavy slap of clay. Movement is not something it wants to initiate.
So many days, I say to myself, or the God I don't know if I believe exists, "Please. Not today. I can't die today, with this mess for others to sort. Please wait until I have things responsibly ordered. Then i will accept it. But for today, please do not let me die.
That is when I feel so heavy, and weak, and foggy, and dimwitted. I feels like my heart or a blood vessel in my brain could go at any time. So, I mentally prepare for the monumental effort it takes to sit up, and get up, walk across the room to swallow one low dose aspirin, as prescribed. I better do it. Maybe this change is because my blood has gone haywire. Too many platelets can be big trouble. Too few can be dangerous, too. I have tested with both conditions. Had to cut down on the hydrea when they tanked.
Now I can't wait for night, cool air and maybe a little sleep., This tired mess is not so good. But there are others who have no say so at all. They can't even move at all. SO I probably can do OK
Times Are Changing--great gig at the naked place
Physical changes are definitely occurring. Hardly any of the fiery itch attacks, but fatigue and fogginess have jumped. I stayed over night at work to get everything done. I worked into the night on Monday. I thought it was about 10 PM when I finished. Yikes, it was way past 1 AM
I did not get much sleep, I suppose. I will blame that for being so unsafe because I kept zapping into waking dreams on way home. I almosyt had head-ons, almost hit the embankment on the side of the road, almost hit the end of the guard rail. On and on.
It was strange and weird, and clearly unsafe. I kept thinking I was ok, then the next thing I know, in my mind I am elsewhere, either doing something like riding a bike, or talking to someone, etc. Then zap, I am in reality heading for a giant bolder head on.
Man I cannot do that. Someone could get hurt. But they didn't. I made it home. The good part is that for the last 25 miles of the journey, presence of other cars and humans are at a minimum.
Even though all the work and exercise and playing help fight fatigue, they do not prevent the cause. But to a point, being active is therapeutic when I can get rolling.
All of a sudden they are talking about cannabis solutions on the AP forum. Aquagenic pruritus. That is the best term we have for this symptom. Water; humidity, perspiration, and any moisture, in general (along with heat) are triggers. Many of those people have the type of blood disease I have, or something in that family. Those with JAK2 mutation almost always have "the itch".
Some are affected as I have been, and some do not experience that intensity of discomfort. The ones who off themselves apparently do.
So, now people are finding hemp/cannabis solutions. I think CBD oil--the one which is not so psycho-active or narcotic, may help. It has been a life saver for certain conditions which manifest in seizures. Also I know of a man who has really defied the rule with his mesothelioma for the last 6 years, since his diagnosis. His wife did tons of research and started giving him cbd oil with some thc at night, while reducing chemo etc. You would not believe how well the guy is doing.
CBD is believed to attack some cancers. Really, they do not know much, even about drugs they have prescribed for years.
I have availed myself of patient groups and information in order to try to keep this condition from preventing me from working and doing things. Living. My disease is relatively rare, and my subtype and symptoms narrow it even more. This limits the scope of info, but what info I have found is good and useful.
I have a way to get cbd oil, and I have not had much in the way of attacks for weeks. Right now, I am not sure if it is the cbd accounting for the change or not. It could be my situation is changing, With all the fatigue it may be morphing into myeloid fibrosis. Only bone marrow biopsy can say for sure. I have suspected this from the start anyway, but without proof, we do not know for sure. Reduction in itch, increase in random deep bone pain and joint pain, much increase in heavy footed, stumble-bum fatigue.
It gets embarrassing when I fall easily or bump into things constantly, It happens with heavy fatigue. Co-workers just think I am clumsy. I really am not clumsy.
The Gypsyfest gig was fantastic. I risked all by going up Friday afternoon, pitching a tent, camping for the weekend. I had to try. It took forever to put up the tent. It is a simple tent. I took a lot of breaks.
But it worked out. I could not have survived in the heat just setting up a tent, let alone staying there for a couple days, for at least the last two years. Maybe more.
Some people there do not wear clothes. It is an optional thing. The good looking woman with the smirky creepy German guy were camped near me. They did everything neatly and perfectly. She was one of the naked ones. And I like her. I wish she'd dump Franz. Of course there appears to be some money there and it could be his. Otherwise why do nice women hang with jerks of his ilk?
Oh well. Even the naked ones get way these days.
I have to say, the bands and musicians were pretty cool at this thing. A somewhat eclectic mix of music. The people were very nice and respectful, naked or not. People did not leave trash around. They pick up after themselves. Unlike your garden variety "protestor". I had protest mobs. I just do. It is not the holy, pure thing we've been told. Mob action and mob psychosis are to be loathed, not promoted. Not to say rebellion is not often called for.
Protestors are usually totalitarianists trying to stack the deck in their favor, playing victim, minding the business of others--the standard drill.
Enough of that. You have no concept, I wouldn't think, of what a solid landmark it is that I slept in a firggin tent, and had such a great campsite that it was the hangout for the band and others. Parking and all that.
I went ahead and played water volleyball in the early morning sunday. I was in the water without severe itch. I was able to exert. You cannot imagine how weird it is to do such things when two months ago, such activity would be out of the question.
I forgot when next appointment is, but with physical changes, no-itch rashes, fatigue, ability to sweat without convulsing and being wiped out for the day with horrible itch, I think they better draw blood and see what's up with the levels.
This series of events marks a very significant, and maybe positive, change. It is possible that cbd is causing the influence and prevalence of the wacko JAK2 gene to decrease so that the actual disease is minimal or even retreating. We shall see. I can be clinical and scientific enough to look for other explanations for the change, even though it coincides with CBD oil intake.
Playing was a little tough. Certain facial and mouth muscles just kind of froze when I tried to do certain things. I could not articulate those techniques, so I faked it. It happens. The next night at Comedy Club, no such trouble so that is good.
This is way too long. If you knew what it was like to be me, and if you believe in miracles, you would tend to wonder if me being able to spend even one hour at that desert canyon resort wasn't a miracle. And the fact I actually camped. Outside on a hot sunny day...geez. I was in shade most of the time though.
Maybe I will delve into sub-stories from the Hooplah in Jacumba (hah-CUM-bah) later on. As well as the whole comedy club thing--a big success--sold out house, best looking crowd I ever played. Lots of trophy there.
I did not get much sleep, I suppose. I will blame that for being so unsafe because I kept zapping into waking dreams on way home. I almosyt had head-ons, almost hit the embankment on the side of the road, almost hit the end of the guard rail. On and on.
It was strange and weird, and clearly unsafe. I kept thinking I was ok, then the next thing I know, in my mind I am elsewhere, either doing something like riding a bike, or talking to someone, etc. Then zap, I am in reality heading for a giant bolder head on.
Man I cannot do that. Someone could get hurt. But they didn't. I made it home. The good part is that for the last 25 miles of the journey, presence of other cars and humans are at a minimum.
Even though all the work and exercise and playing help fight fatigue, they do not prevent the cause. But to a point, being active is therapeutic when I can get rolling.
All of a sudden they are talking about cannabis solutions on the AP forum. Aquagenic pruritus. That is the best term we have for this symptom. Water; humidity, perspiration, and any moisture, in general (along with heat) are triggers. Many of those people have the type of blood disease I have, or something in that family. Those with JAK2 mutation almost always have "the itch".
Some are affected as I have been, and some do not experience that intensity of discomfort. The ones who off themselves apparently do.
So, now people are finding hemp/cannabis solutions. I think CBD oil--the one which is not so psycho-active or narcotic, may help. It has been a life saver for certain conditions which manifest in seizures. Also I know of a man who has really defied the rule with his mesothelioma for the last 6 years, since his diagnosis. His wife did tons of research and started giving him cbd oil with some thc at night, while reducing chemo etc. You would not believe how well the guy is doing.
CBD is believed to attack some cancers. Really, they do not know much, even about drugs they have prescribed for years.
I have availed myself of patient groups and information in order to try to keep this condition from preventing me from working and doing things. Living. My disease is relatively rare, and my subtype and symptoms narrow it even more. This limits the scope of info, but what info I have found is good and useful.
I have a way to get cbd oil, and I have not had much in the way of attacks for weeks. Right now, I am not sure if it is the cbd accounting for the change or not. It could be my situation is changing, With all the fatigue it may be morphing into myeloid fibrosis. Only bone marrow biopsy can say for sure. I have suspected this from the start anyway, but without proof, we do not know for sure. Reduction in itch, increase in random deep bone pain and joint pain, much increase in heavy footed, stumble-bum fatigue.
It gets embarrassing when I fall easily or bump into things constantly, It happens with heavy fatigue. Co-workers just think I am clumsy. I really am not clumsy.
The Gypsyfest gig was fantastic. I risked all by going up Friday afternoon, pitching a tent, camping for the weekend. I had to try. It took forever to put up the tent. It is a simple tent. I took a lot of breaks.
But it worked out. I could not have survived in the heat just setting up a tent, let alone staying there for a couple days, for at least the last two years. Maybe more.
Some people there do not wear clothes. It is an optional thing. The good looking woman with the smirky creepy German guy were camped near me. They did everything neatly and perfectly. She was one of the naked ones. And I like her. I wish she'd dump Franz. Of course there appears to be some money there and it could be his. Otherwise why do nice women hang with jerks of his ilk?
Oh well. Even the naked ones get way these days.
I have to say, the bands and musicians were pretty cool at this thing. A somewhat eclectic mix of music. The people were very nice and respectful, naked or not. People did not leave trash around. They pick up after themselves. Unlike your garden variety "protestor". I had protest mobs. I just do. It is not the holy, pure thing we've been told. Mob action and mob psychosis are to be loathed, not promoted. Not to say rebellion is not often called for.
Protestors are usually totalitarianists trying to stack the deck in their favor, playing victim, minding the business of others--the standard drill.
Enough of that. You have no concept, I wouldn't think, of what a solid landmark it is that I slept in a firggin tent, and had such a great campsite that it was the hangout for the band and others. Parking and all that.
I went ahead and played water volleyball in the early morning sunday. I was in the water without severe itch. I was able to exert. You cannot imagine how weird it is to do such things when two months ago, such activity would be out of the question.
I forgot when next appointment is, but with physical changes, no-itch rashes, fatigue, ability to sweat without convulsing and being wiped out for the day with horrible itch, I think they better draw blood and see what's up with the levels.
This series of events marks a very significant, and maybe positive, change. It is possible that cbd is causing the influence and prevalence of the wacko JAK2 gene to decrease so that the actual disease is minimal or even retreating. We shall see. I can be clinical and scientific enough to look for other explanations for the change, even though it coincides with CBD oil intake.
Playing was a little tough. Certain facial and mouth muscles just kind of froze when I tried to do certain things. I could not articulate those techniques, so I faked it. It happens. The next night at Comedy Club, no such trouble so that is good.
This is way too long. If you knew what it was like to be me, and if you believe in miracles, you would tend to wonder if me being able to spend even one hour at that desert canyon resort wasn't a miracle. And the fact I actually camped. Outside on a hot sunny day...geez. I was in shade most of the time though.
Maybe I will delve into sub-stories from the Hooplah in Jacumba (hah-CUM-bah) later on. As well as the whole comedy club thing--a big success--sold out house, best looking crowd I ever played. Lots of trophy there.
Tuesday, July 26, 2016
Sorry, But It Was Funny
We're referring to the previous post. If you weren't so mean, you might know that.
This whole physical ball game has just about pushed my patience as far as it goes. I have had it with this. Several splendid days of no trouble. Then an almost attack at practice yesterday. Sorry, Karen, the school music regional director or some such, says it is called rehearsal. Practice is when you learn your part.
To me practice is when you learn how to interact with the others to best effect. I get where she is coming from. Anyway, at practice it was miserable for awhile. Just short of emergency hot shower mode. We threw drugs at it. Pain killers. Either they helped or it was almost done running its course by then. Maybe both.
This has not been happening, and the temps have been near or at 100 some of the time. For the last two years, this kind of heat would totally put me down. No way could I sweat and work in it. This week I did. So, I was all confident to the point of even thinking maybe I don't need to cart around extra clothes and things like that.
Then boom. But today is ok, if no energy is ok. Few other odd looking manifestations but long sleeves fix that. Even so, I was able to wear short sleeves, T-shirts, to work in. And linen one for that party--E's kid turns 12. That was outside in a park by some lakes. lots of sun and heat. No prob. A miracle, it was.
This is one lame set of contenders. From what we think is available. But Gary Johnson is good, and if you are so beyond koolaid addled that you suspend belief on cause and effect, in order to better serve your preordained argument, the Green Party candidate would be a winner.
Odd, but I would vote the Green party before I would Hillary. And I am not a fan of theirs. Just goes to show you.
Whenever I pop my head up out of the sand to see what's happening in the news world, I am stunned by the blatant Hillary lies, both by and about her, and I wonder if Trump isn't trying to convince people not to vote for him.
Running Trump against Hillary may be the only way people would look at her as a calm, sober, even tempered leader. It backfired I think. Trump is worried about getting elected, so he will try to talk the public out of it while acting the part of the serious campaigner.
This whole physical ball game has just about pushed my patience as far as it goes. I have had it with this. Several splendid days of no trouble. Then an almost attack at practice yesterday. Sorry, Karen, the school music regional director or some such, says it is called rehearsal. Practice is when you learn your part.
To me practice is when you learn how to interact with the others to best effect. I get where she is coming from. Anyway, at practice it was miserable for awhile. Just short of emergency hot shower mode. We threw drugs at it. Pain killers. Either they helped or it was almost done running its course by then. Maybe both.
This has not been happening, and the temps have been near or at 100 some of the time. For the last two years, this kind of heat would totally put me down. No way could I sweat and work in it. This week I did. So, I was all confident to the point of even thinking maybe I don't need to cart around extra clothes and things like that.
Then boom. But today is ok, if no energy is ok. Few other odd looking manifestations but long sleeves fix that. Even so, I was able to wear short sleeves, T-shirts, to work in. And linen one for that party--E's kid turns 12. That was outside in a park by some lakes. lots of sun and heat. No prob. A miracle, it was.
This is one lame set of contenders. From what we think is available. But Gary Johnson is good, and if you are so beyond koolaid addled that you suspend belief on cause and effect, in order to better serve your preordained argument, the Green Party candidate would be a winner.
Odd, but I would vote the Green party before I would Hillary. And I am not a fan of theirs. Just goes to show you.
Whenever I pop my head up out of the sand to see what's happening in the news world, I am stunned by the blatant Hillary lies, both by and about her, and I wonder if Trump isn't trying to convince people not to vote for him.
Running Trump against Hillary may be the only way people would look at her as a calm, sober, even tempered leader. It backfired I think. Trump is worried about getting elected, so he will try to talk the public out of it while acting the part of the serious campaigner.
Going through the Lyrics Folder--this cracked me up
For the first time in many months, maybe even a year or two, I decided to look at my lyrics folder. Actually, Chris, of Valor and Lace, wanted me to send lyrics to him and Emily to see if they could work with them. He liked what he heard Cliff playing of my songs at a party last month.
That is nice.
So, I was hunting down those lyrics and clicked on other titles to see what was what. One of them rang no bells with me. There was a phrase or two that seemed like me, but the rest? No idea. I will claim it.
Then there is this, which caught me by surprise. And I am the one who wrote it. Being me may be an experience which is different from what you'd think. It is different from what I would think.
Poor ME (She Did You Wrong)
That is nice.
So, I was hunting down those lyrics and clicked on other titles to see what was what. One of them rang no bells with me. There was a phrase or two that seemed like me, but the rest? No idea. I will claim it.
Then there is this, which caught me by surprise. And I am the one who wrote it. Being me may be an experience which is different from what you'd think. It is different from what I would think.
Poor ME (She Did You Wrong)
oh the woman did you wrong
there ain't no doubt
rushed in wearing blinders
my ego knocked me out
red flags were flying,
like a lighthouse in the night
yet I sailed on
into the rocks
poor me
poor me
I'm a rudderless
ship in a stormy see
and the love of my life
is absentee
poor me
poor me
it's all her fault
she's a meany
Stuff like this does not grow on trees. If it did, maybe someone would pay for it like they do almonds and pecans and grapefruit.
.
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About Me
- John0 Juanderlust
- Ballistic Mountain, CA, United States
- Like spring on a summer's day
