Another Page From the Book

The Book is large and heavy, so trying to take a pic using the computer is a trick. This time I left the book laying flat and tilted the laptop, propping it up on my toe while I hit shift and clik at the same time to prevent flash. It's technical. The watercolor pencils and book have become an obsession. I feel like I have to add to it daily. It is intended to be a pictorial which might reveal the subconscious, or the meaning of life or where Blackbeard buried the treasure. Things of that nature.

Otherwise, I'd be ranting more about the insanity of the things which are in the news and which affect air travel, and more. If none of that had any impact on regular life it would be less interesting to me. It feels like I'm watching a thief raid the neighborhood and due to peer pressure, trying to look the other way and mind my own business, but I can't.

This page is different from the others, so far. Not quite sure what prompted it but it all has some symbolism. But then, what doesn't?

I think the colors are more vibrant in real life. This book is going to be a fun thing. I'm using the front and back of the pages. The paper is high enough quality to pull that off. So far I have eight sides done. They are almost radically different from one another, yet some patterns are beginning to emerge.

This year is at an end. I'm actually pondering some goals for 2010. That is a new thing. For a long time the only goal was not to be as sad in the coming year as I was in the last. Now it is to continue the journey, being sure not to become that sad again. 09 was not a sad year. It was like a dream, as was the last half of 2008. A better than normal life dream.

The next phase is still only half baked, if baked at all. The Book will probably help the next plan cook.

Battle of Ideas? Not Likely With Homeland Screw You ity

To have a battle of ideas, there has to be a definition of basic premises. The premise once instilled in US citizens has been lost. That is illustrated by the people the press chooses to interview regarding new and unusual security measures put in place due to the latest jihadist would-be bomber; the underwear bomber. Or if you prefer, Mr. Hot Pants.

Perhaps it reflects the general philosophy of the country, I don't know. I do know it makes me cringe when I hear the man on the street, as portrayed by loathsome news outfits, claim that "I don't mind the extra inconvenience because it makes my family safer". After working in that business before and after 9/11, I don't think the reaction makes you safer. None of the increased security measures would have prevented that attack. Profiling and making the air crews aware of current intelligence would have helped.

Our basic premise was that all governments become oppressive and exploit the citizens if not held to strict limits. Based on that an effort was made to structure this country so that government's scope was strictly defined and attempts made to install checks which would keep it from usurping the autonomy and privacy of individuals. History and experience indicate that governments of all kinds evolve into tyranny. That is what a constitution is supposed to prevent. Some constitutions, however start off a little over reaching. Ours did not, to any great extent.

What has been happening for many years prior to 911, and at an accelerated rate afterward, is the same practice I witnessed in public schools from teachers and administrators who were unable to handle their jobs. Someone allegedly talked, or wrote "do do" on the board. "OK. Until the person who did this comes forward and you tell me who it was, everyone is going to stay after. All of you will be punished." Half the time we had no idea what the "educator" was talking about.

The only way to curb the threat of jihadist terrorism is to PROFILE intelligently and not ignore intelligence. If there is a battle of ideas going on I have no idea what ours is. We are giving up all recourse against an overbearing government in the name of security, while reaping no true increase in our safety. It is a huge mistake.

I remember a very zealous member of the TSA management claiming you can't be sure who is a terrorist. He'd ask, "Can you draw me a picture of what a terrorist looks like?" My answer in the affirmative wasn't what he was after. He was almost orgasmic in his prediction that soon everyone entering a shopping center or sporting event would have to be searched.

This last guy was a case of ignored intelligence and failure to use common sense. All the mass harassment of citizens is actually bogging down the real process of filtering out the riffraff. You can easily discern the likely suspects. Of course that means some people get more attention than others. It is easier to focus on them when you aren't searching 2 year olds and their church group.

For awhile after 9/11 I had to search bags and people. It was insane how they expected you to treat the innocent. I was skeptical of a couple of different profiles. Obviously disdainful Arab men, and flakey acting overly religious types who seemed ready to bomb to prevent abortion. Not many of either type.

I'm convinced that many people on selectee lists and such are placed there randomly in order to achieve a good ethnic mix. It is not efficient or useful. For example, the last people likely to bomb a plane would be a black husband and wife with a couple of young kids. They just don't do it. Most people don't. In that case, I found it painful when they might be selectees because they paid cash for the ticket. Against the rules, sort of, I often barely went through the motions on such people. It was bad when they thought color of their skin was behind it all. No, it was idiocy and refusal to accept the truth that was behind their harassment and that of the white woman in her nineties.

It has to occur to others beside myself that each incident or alleged threat, whether to the country or the environment or anything else is dealt with in a manner which severely limits and controls the individual in some way. Our ability to be mobile is being eroded on every front. To think these tactics can't or won't be used to purposes not so different from those of Nazi Germany or the USSR or Castro's purges in Cuba is to be rather myopic and naive. That is exactly how such oppression comes into being. Always an excuse to force citizens, without probable cause to defend their right to exist.

How can we claim we are defending ourselves if our defense is to throw out the liberty which defined us? There are better ways, but they depend on not being afraid to admit the identity of the enemy and acknowledge the truth when they attack. To say the mass shooting on our military base, and this pants bomb attempt are not part of that effort is not smart. That is how that setup works. Another thing to keep in mind is that we aren't the only targets. All western nations, and eventually all infidels are the targets.

The latest tactics are nothing short of a stupid dog and pony show designed to make the public think they are being made safe. PR is the main goal, as well as an increasing effort to make citizens subjects of the state rather than keep the state subservient to its citizens. It worked after 911. People went through all the increased intrusion so they figured something was being done. The fact that it was a joke did not matter because to say that was almost like blasphemy. We had to fight this thing. To admit that our intelligence agencies were hamstrung by seedy politics and scumbag officials in government wasn't going to happen, even though that was the problem, not lack of feeling up the public.

We bought it then so we will continue to buy it now. In the mean time, people like Johnny Sutton and most of those in DC will continue to ensure that the drug trade flourishes along with illegal immigration. If they are so concerned about who gets on a plane, why aren't they looking at the borders with a stronger eye? Even there I think profiling is ticket more than running everyone through the wringer. Go with the fair tax or something like it, eliminate the IRS and don't provide tax paid benefits to people here illegally, and the problem would be minimal. At least any money they spend goes in part to the tax base under that plan.

One thing about conspiracies and conspiracy theories, sometimes there really is a sinister aspect to what goes on with those pulling the strings. I believe there are those who benefit from all these crazy changes. They all have that one element in common---control and limitation on the citizens of this country.

Pages 1 and 2 of Subconscious Book

This is page 1 of the magic book, which began on Christmas Day.


This is page 2, a glimpse of some vague notion of events and places which may be found as the BallisticTour takes on 2010 . Also an experimental effort with no known goal.

So, even though I have not been good this year, someone stuffed a watercolor colored pencil set, along with a huge hardbound book designed to go along with the pencils in my stocking. 696 huge pages designed to be drawn on with the pencils, then you use a wet brush to turn it into watercolors as you like. I'm getting used to it.

This will be a book from another dimension and when I am done, it will serve as a time machine and possible WMD, or HMO.

Really, I have never seen such a large hardbound book, with blank pages for art. I feel like I should be doing that intricate type of work you see in wizards' manuals and books that tell the fate of souls; that sort of thing.
As disjointed and scattered as it seems, almost everything has some reason or significance.

Perhaps this could become a children's book, something to instill fear and nightmares so your offspring will be less likely to challenge your authority. They'll seek you out for comfort.

Fear and Loathing in La Cabeza

Maybe it is the time of year which brings it on; ghosts of Christmas past, and procrastination present, and who knows what future. Dickens definitely knew the inner workings of the chaos ridden mind.

Now I realize I can't possibly directly state the items of angst which plague the restless soul. It's an out out damned spot moment, I suppose. Succumbing to such discomfort and uncertainty ought not be an option. It takes practice. You'd think enough time would have been put into that effort over the years to make a better mental state an easy achievement.

One of the things I discovered this year is that I am not playing with a normal deck. It may or may not be full, but it definitely doesn't contain the usual number of cards in each of the four accepted suits. Knowing that can theoretically facilitate reasonable compensation techniques. Employing such practices then, in theory, should allow one to balance out the pain-pleasure ledger to a manageable point so that pain is reduced to the level it should be. I place the ideal level of pain at 0%, pleasure at 75%, and neutral at 25%. I would be happy with that.

Another thing I realized this year is that it takes some sort of tangible effort to accomplish anything. The catch is that to do anything a start must be made before you get into the process which then yields a result. It's physics and nature. They say nature abhors a vacuum, but I say nature abhors happy humans. Just look around.

You want to go camp in Yellowstone? Forget it, they have privileged bears running around who seek out the innocent when you least expect it. They did that to a motorcycle camper when I was there. He'd obeyed all the ubiquitous bear rules by putting food in a designated hide it from the bear box, he did not cook so that his clothes had the smell of bear food on them. He jumped through all the hoops, but the damned bears tore up his stuff and wounded him anyway. They don't care.

Nature could care less. Look at the blizzards in various areas, causing car wrecks, pain and discomfort. Nature is far from pristine no matter where you find it. It is a tornado or toothy menace just waiting to ruin your day. If we were natural, we'd have no guilt about defending ourselves from its wrath. As it is we are told to feel bad if we build houses and roads and motorized vehicles. Nothing else in nature would forego comfort and survival so that wild beasts, bugs, and bears could run roughshod over it. Only humans do that.

Not only that but now humans blame themselves for the inconsistencies in the solar system. Other planets are experiencing similar changes in their climate. Not just earth. What should we do? I know, let's pay the dictators of countries with starving people, and tax those who fight nature for longer life and more pleasant survival. We can use lightbulbs which last longer, use less power, and which no one knows how to dispose of without offending nature or poisoning people. When mine go bad I am going to encase them in ground beef soaked in honey and leave them in the woods where bears live. Two birds with one stone, so to speak.

Where was I when I got off on the tyranny of nature and the rude nature of bears? Oh yea, I was pondering the uncomfortable feeling that threatens to suck the humor from my soul. I think it is guilt. Guilt that I'd like to do more for people around me, but I'm basically worthless so I don't. And guilt toward myself for the myriad of errors in judgement which pepper my past. A very peppered life, I must say.

Before anyone plays devil's advocate, I'll concede that nature throws us crumbs here and there. Beware, those are just bait for the trap. Sure you get powdered snow on a good slope, and the ocean looks polite and harmless much of the time. Next thing you know you are buried in an avalanche or a tidal wave, or being chased by big dumb hungry fish. Allegedly there is a balance which depends on sharks and cockroaches and any number of other ugly things. Without much explanation we are supposed to buy the premise that maintaining the status quo in this balance is somehow holy, spiritual, and good.

I'm not so sure I want to cooperate. Not to the point where it is illegal to defend myself against wild animals whether in human disguise or otherwise. What other species hates their own kind so much that they would willingly remove their own defenses?

Oh well. That is what I do; something bothers me that I refuse to openly address, or even clearly admit to myself, and I go off on irrelevant tangents.

Voodoo, Power Brokers, and Me

It has been suggested that I write about the strange life I live, one degree away from high profile news intrigues, and players who have become household names. Someday I may do that.

More than likely, you wouldn't believe the number of times in my life when I was one degree away from the real deal, in varying contexts. It's probably the same karma that once caused my brother to note that if there was a weirdo within a hundred miles, chances are I'd met him. I attract the bizarre. A bizzarro magnet. But I'm just mild mannered, run of the mill, an average Jose doing my best to make enough sense of things to get by.

Legend has it that much of the work I do is the result of a curse placed on a particular facility by an angry ex spouse of the owner. I'm not so sure that explains why everything continually breaks. I'd say the wrong contractors have been brought in to do the major work, but you never know. It seems one man's curse is another man's blessing. It puts money in my pocket. Actually in the pockets of those I owe for monthly bills. It has pretty much paid the rent, and made me lazy. I think it is time to cultivate a bit more ambition and look to future, etc. Not my forte--planning well for my future.

One thing I've learned in the last year, witnessing the different ways people live who have the means to choose lifestyle, is that not everyone is into the Zenness of their work. Menial or not, I tend to get a kind of peace out of doing a job, enjoying the process more than thinking of it as something which has to get done with the least amount of work in the least amount of time. That is a goal, but I tend to like the work itself even when it is not fun, or when it is tedious.

I'm more interested in being satisfied with the quality and if I have to take more time and do more work to be satisfied I gave it my best shot, then that's the way of it. Of course, there is that balance which has to be maintained so that overkill does not yield negative results. You can get things done quickly and still receive the benefit of the zen like space the doing provides.

The biggest hurdle is getting started. The second biggest hurdle is assuring observers that, even though the initial aspect of a project make seem slow, and my way of going about it may seem peculiar or slow, when I reach the final stage it will fall together quickly. In short, there is method to my madness.

Maybe it comes from the period when I worked on a prototype system. Any design of even minimal complexity involves anticipating possible snafus if you want to limit the trial and error, and redoing process. Sometimes I may carry that too far, but I think I mostly have it contained to proper context these days.

Just thinking out loud. That's enough about me. The Chargers have won 9 straight games, and I find I have a ittle Southern pride I had not suspected was there. It gives me a degree of satisfaction to know that my favorite quarterbacks, Rivers, Favre, Payton Manning, are all southern boys, and Rivers comes from NC State. The head of their textile science department once tried to talk me into going back to school to pursue a doctorate in the field. That sort of flattery wins loyalty and friends. I did not do it, obviously, but that university di work with me very well on a project once, hooking me up with a doctoral candidate who conducted some testing I helped design using equipment I made.

Oops. That was about me, again. I'd write about you, but you're more of an authority on you. Besides, it is not polite to write about someone, crossing the line of confidentiality and common courtesy which demands one doesn't put the business of others out there, innocuous or not.

That was one of the positive events in a process that left me wiser, and very disappointed in the nature of government-business partnerships, lobbyist activity and the ignorant approval of such corruption by the public. End result, I dropped out and decided I was not of the nature required to play that game. I may have over reacted, but I was young and knew I was way too naive to know how to swim with sharks without getting eaten. I did not think it could be done unless I wanted to be a shark, too. Now, I believe differently, but I'm less confused now. Less motivated as well.

Try As I May, Seasonal Pressure Seeps In

It is the result of not being as thoughtful as some people. Maybe I'm way too selfish or inconsiderate. Every year I imagine making one of a kind trinkets during the summer, then gleefully bestowing them upon lucky/and/or unlucky recipients during the winter fertility rites of your choice. I personally like Christmas.

However I would like to see jewelry store ads banned from the airways. That's for people who want to go into debt, or people with ready cash. I'm not in either category. Besides, I don't even like diamonds very well. You can make some nice things out of gold, though, and even combine some spiffy stones.

Just keep in mind, a lot of guys have lavished women with high dollar diamond stuff and the flame burned out quickly, so women should refuse to accept or expect them. Thank you.

I can just see the look of horror on faces of some people I know that I would say such a thing. They cringe at how I place myself in the category of way too- whatever.

Still, I feel tinges of guilt, maybe, because I am so unprepared for holidays and other occasions that land on a preset day. It happens and I don't know why. My inner clock is simply not linear. One second or minute is not equal to the next. It is either shorter, longer or lost altogether.

It will be OK. Tis' the season to hope I add something to the lives of those I know and like. Sincerely, that is what it is. Feeling bad for not being able to lavish things on people is really a self centered thing. It could be that is only an expression of one's desire to be loved, or in control. Often, generosity is not at the heart of it. It can be, but frequently is not. Otherwise shoppers would not be pushy and wear those strained psychotic expressions as the Big Day approaches.

One good respite from the melee is to watch The Riches, and Sons of Anarchy on hulu.com. My newest addiction is The Riches. Partly because they are Travelers, Irish descent, I believe. Gypsies, but not quite so gypsyish. I identify with that feeling of not being part of established civilization. However the idea of resenting the norm to the point of conning and taking from them is not a thing we have in common.

I've seen sites wholly dedicated to trying to water down the stereotypes of Travelers as con artists. Good luck. Even so, I imagine some are fun people. What I don't get is how they raise hell in parts of the UK because there aren't enough public sites where they can set up camp. Possibly this would not be an issue if they weren't kicked off of non designated camp areas. It is probably a thing like here, in which half the open land is off limits for camping or anything else.

I'm unwilling to get into that too much. Of course, it doesn't help that governments over there, and probably here, too, decide to impound their motor homes and trailers because they don't have any officially sanctioned place to park that is not full up. The seizing of property is a common tactic among all governments. Once upon a time it was a far rarer practice than it is now in this country. The rest of the world may have never experienced the wide open deal we almost maintained. At least not since they quit being marauding tribes.

That sounds somewhat disingenuous; the marauding is dressed up, not dead. Here, too.

I know.

I still can't say what is really on my mind, assuming I know. It is easy to see that whatever comes out gets farther and farther away from that as I write. That is not so bad. Being in touch with one's feelings is highly over rated. Almost everything along those lines we've heard since the sixties is pure trouble, and doesn't work. Not for males, anyway.

I still think Christmas is a pretty holiday. I like it. The smells and greenery and lights and imaginary sleigh hijinks. What's not to like? And the Salvation Army people with the red suit and bell. I like those people.

If only I knew of a good orphanage, like Father Flanagan would run, then I'd go do Christmas stuff there. Somehow two things did not make it across that bridge to the 21st century. Remember when Bill was going to lead everyone across? Well, good, old fashioned orphanages, and sanitariums got left way behind. Those things were once part of the private sector. That was before we considered government a sector. Christmas was better then, but I try to imagine that spirit now.

I wonder if we are having earthquakes or if I am imagining things suddenly moving slightly under me. It could be ghosts, or even inter dimensional anomalies which I feel due to my heightened sensitivity to such things.

What is Really Green?

As I followed one of the ubiquitous Priuses, here in SoCal, which had earlier been tailgating me in the rain, I wondered, "Is he saving the earth, and therefore, humanity, from certain destruction, or worse?" I happen to like the Prius. They are actually very fun cars and you can haul some substantial lumber in them. That is a first hand observation.

Unfortunately, choice of automobile has become interpreted as a political statement. Even my car, a Subaru, is tied in with enviro-politics and a certain image. Too bad. Then again, people I often agree with perpetuate such myths. I've heard talk show hosts, with whom I agree 57.5% of the time, disparage Prius drivers, and the car itself. They have obviously not ridden in one or they'd know their characterization of it as a car with no room was false. You have tons of room. But what makes it green?

It gets good milage and makes use of braking and all that to charge batteries. That is good. What goes into making and disposing of the batteries? I'm not sure I know the answer. I've heard that what is required to produce and dispose of the batteries, coupled with the manufacture process of the vehicle, fuel used, etc., puts its carbon footprint up there with a Hummer driven average miles for however many years. Bottom line, according to those reports, is that it nets out about the same as any other car, if you consider all things involved.

That takes nothing away from a car that requires fewer visits to the pump. But saving the earth? Probably not saving the earth any more than farm animals or 4Runners. Maybe they save the earth more than Al Gore. I'm still unclear what the earth is being saved from. I'd hope it is being saved from slavery, but I see the opposite happening in the name of saving it from the mind and creativity of man/and/or woman kind.

For awhile, methanol was considered green. Then I think they assessed the production process and such and found it mostly skewed the food production process. Maybe THEY didn't come to that conclusion and I only heard it on the street. I actually like the idea of vehicles that will run on garbage, corn, manure, and anything else you might find by the side of the road. Thinking these things don't take resources to produce is a bit off the mark, but why let facts get in the way of a cause that seems peopled by lots of hot young chicks?

It is good to have a group handy for venting your anger, and acceptance from a peer group as a result. Even though I think the real ring leaders are setting up a very heavy handed control plan which will enrich a few and lower the standard of living and scope of opportunities for the rest of us, maybe it is easier to swallow my real views and join the crowd. I may even score a grant, or a government job. To hell with those who have to pay for it.

Can people who lavishly landscape their yards get tax credits for planting trees and shrubs? Can they sell offsets to the guilty? That would be a good sales tool for landscapers nationwide.

I heard some discussion on the radio about toilet paper. It seems the green craze is now up your butt. They were bemoaning the amount of "virgin forest" cut down to provide high quality rolls of the useful commodity. My first thought was skepticism regarding the "virgin forest" phrase.

I think toilet paper comes from slut forests like most paper. Paper companies have, for many years, been replanting and selectively harvesting trees, like a crop. They have a staggered process so that there are plenty of young virgin trees on the property at any given time, just frolicking in their innocence. Not a care in the world. They have trees at every stage of growth. Only the worldly sluts get harvested, not the virgin forests.

Since the lumber and paper people often plant more trees than anyone else, should they get to sell offsets? Would they be competing with Al for carbon guilt dollars? I wonder.

Now that the consensus is in, we can control the climate, why not see if we can give the ski areas lots of prime powder snow, and cool off Miami in the summer, and generally provide the sort of environment that doesn't kick farmers and coastal dwellers around like it has throughout history? We really should do something about the twisters in tornado alley, too.

We thought it was hilarious, a number of years ago, when a lady from NYC called a talk show and suggested that Congress pass a law to make Spring start earlier. She thought daylight savings time was actually increasing the hours of daylight, so to her it was within their purview to regulate the seasons. In light of current mass hypnosis, that is no longer so funny.

It is a fact of human life that things can be done better, and in ways not previously imagined. It is extremely rare that these advances are conceived by bureaucratic fiat, or so-called scientific consensus. Whereas consensus may carry some weight, it is mostly employed in the more hypothetical arts, such as paleontology and archaeology. Hard science like chemistry and physics rely more on things which can be demonstrated to hold true within certain parameters. Even there, you cannot extrapolate but so far without risking error.

Newtonian physics breaks down on the atomic/subatomic level, and things work differently approaching the speed of light, etc. Even with slower speeds and and the kind of mass where Newton nails it, the results are often counter to what is intuitive. Rotational dynamics is a perfect example. That is why a spin balance of a wheel yields a different result than a static balance.

The point is, a thing can sound totally convincing coming from a good presenter with swell graphics, but the truth may be miles away from the content of lecture. When anyone, scientist or not tries to promote broad legislation in the form of tax penalties for a behavior in the name of something they cannot prove, watch out. Once the money and power come into play, people will do anything to promote their cause, even if they have to fudge the truth, or silence skeptics and prevent open debate. That does nothing to promote truly better ways of doing things.

One Thing About California, You Got to Watch Your Backside

Tailgating must be one of those peer pressure, cultural behaviors that people fall into because they don't want to be odd. It is the most striking thing I notice on the roads here. Especially on north 5 and east county. They call it "the five". Every numbered highway is "the" then the number. Out here that is the way of it. They don't do that in the southeast, where I spent my previous life.

So, it rains and the cars go faster and drive closer together. Maybe it is a huddling instinct to make use of body heat. It can result in overall slowdown when people wreck and the traffic gets blocked, like tonight on The 56 east. A truck and a big car.

On The 8, I saw some trouble as well. Plenty of hooplah when you get sustained rain here. I guess houses up near LA may be sliding down hills. It is another world from the ones I've known.

I'm not saying the driving is bad here, not compared to Memphis or Miami. Memphis is just dumb, and Miami is crazy. Here they seem to have a little too much affection for the rear of the car in front. Make of that what you will. After all, it is SoCal, even though I live closer to Mexico than LA, and east SD county is not what you'd call Hollywood type people, for the most part.

Vindication, almost as sweet as revenge

The demise of my last car, the Blue Ru, which carried me across the country and out of a figurative and literal bad place was quite unexpected and not necessary. That collision was purely the fault of a guy who parked a long trailer partially in an unlit road at night. It had no lights and no reflectors. I still shudder to think what woud have happened to a passenger or to a motorcycle or family driving that lane at that time.

It almost made me want to flee California when the highway patrol on the scene played on their ignorance, assuming I was a hillbilly deserving of ridicule based on the Tennessee plates. Many people who get their world view from Hollywood movies and TV assume that Southerners are stupid and mean. They are no more stupid and mean than anyone else, and often more compassionate and intelligent. Just depends on the place and the group.

So, after fighting lies from the highway patrol, the crooked truck driver, and people in my insurance company who had trouble grasping the simple arguments I gave based on very simple physics, I finally won. I'm amazed and happy.

CA has a board that arbitrates insurance company disputes. The Lizard decided, after much prompting, to dispute the finding of the other company and the police report suggesting that I could have avoided this collision. Despite the fact that the trucker sent in photos of a different trailer from the one he was pulling that night, one lit up like a Christmas tree, the board found him 100% liable. Maybe I should get a neck brace and sue that lying degenerate. I only wish I could demoralize the cops involved and get them fired. They were as bad or worse than any southern cops I've seen, and I've seen some doozies.

Finally getting all of my deductible back and, by implication, having an official stamp placed on the fact that I was the only truthful party in this matter, should be enough. Let karma cure the others. It will.

The whole thing was some kind of lesson. It is the first time that I fought that hard as my own advocate, rather than get fed up, lose money, and say to hell with it. The money is hugely needed at this time, so that is really great, but it was also a matter of principle. I'm glad I had the chance to champion myself and truth while one still can. Principle has become so grossly ignored and under rated lately that I wonder how many can discern a principle from a wish or an unfounded opinion.

Agents of government ought not be able to hurt citizens on a whim. This was just one small example of that activity. I guess it is something people have to consciously make an effort to avoid; that small minded abuse of power when they possess it. Few people can do that. You see it all the time, like when someone not normally in charge is placed in charge while the boss is gone.

Anyway. I've been vindicated and I deserved this decision. I keep thinking there could conceivably be a lawsuit here but I'm not into that. I'd rather just punch people, provided I didn't get punched back.

Thanks John Grisham

He got it right.
The expression is "SET FOOT", not "STEP FOOT".
This has bothered me for awhile now. There are others which escape me at this moment, but I may remember them later.

Example: I vowed I would never set foot in Miami again, but I broke that vow many times over and rescinded it altogether. Many vows have been made and forgotten over the years. How many times did I say, "I'll never drink again. I will not set foot in a bar ever again!!"?
That's a rhetorical question.

Eventually I did not drink for many years. I know better than to say it will never happen, but I do not intend to do it. Vows get in the way.

I am pretty sure that step foot thing was one of Dan Rather's twists, probably while he was saying "hope against hope". He said that alot and it annoyed me for some reason. What the hell does that mean? I do vaguely remember the first time I heard that step foot bastardization. I can't recall the specific though.

Most like it was Dan. They got things wrong whenever possible and still do---news people. Walter misquoted Neil Armstrong during the first moon landing. I heard it and tried to tell people it was wrong at the time. Teachers swore by the nonsensical misquote until just the last few years when it finally came out that he said, "One small step for a man, a giant leap for mankind".

Saying a small step for man, a giant leap for mankind , makes no sense or is a contradictory sentence. I knew then that people like Walter only pretend to think, but really don't. Dan steps foot and hopes against hope.

Set foot, dammit. That is the age old phrase. I'll never set foot on your property again.

John Grisham got it right. He used "set foot" several times in his novel, The Summons. He's right, I'm right. Dan and Walter are just what they are, as are those who followed their lead by continuing to step foot when they should set those dogs.

When it RAINS in Southern California

First a note to those who drive in San Diego county:

Here are some basic driving do's and dont's

If it is pouring rain with high winds, the road is more slippery than usual, give up the poor race car imitation in which you use all lanes like passing lanes cutting right and left 2 or 3 lanes at a shot

Do not tailgate--that is just dumb

Turn your lights on--you are next to invisible in the mist.

They tailgate even when they do not care to drive any faster. I let a couple of cars by me on the windy 2 lane road to ballistic mtn
and noticed they never even sped up. With leaves and limbs and tumbleweed blowing across the sometimes partially flooded highway, you don't need some yahoo riding your tail.

OK. So I got home just minutes before dark. The wind was and is howling, literally. It is the wind, not the coyotes this time. The intensity of the storm, coupled with the likelihood that someone would run into a powerline pole, gave me the hunch that electricity may go out at any time.

I tore the place apart looking for my lanterns from the Tour days. I found them. One is even a wind up type. All are battery powered. They still work and the winder job charges quickly. I found them while I was cooking a tortilla cheese egg extravaganza. Then I remembered to brew a pot of coffee. It was brewing as I unloaded the feast onto a plate. By now it was dark. Very dark.

Just as the coffee was about done, poof, power out. I am glad I was prepared. Since we are on well water and it depends on an electric pump, I am glad I had a gallon or two of purified water handy. Just yesterday I put new batteries in one of my flashlights. You never know, I thought. I guess I did know.

The landlord got home and braved the fray to bring me some candles and see how I was faring. I felt almost smug that I had it all set. The computer battery won't last long. As a last resort I can get the power pack thing out of my car and run off that or charge it in the car, burning fuel and making a carbon footprint right outside my front door. (shame on Paul McCartney for buying into that bs---I never ate meat but this bit of go veggie for a day and save the planet--well intended, severely misguided).

Fortunately I cranked up the space heaters when I got home. Took some of the chill off. Connection was good but inconsistent, I hope I can get this to fly. Almost like being in a kamp kabin, except they usually have a working power outlet.

This really is a big deal storm. It is so rare that this happens. The roads turn very slick when it does and it doesn't drain like Miami. Houses fall off of hills and such. People in town actually drive faster and then wonder why the slide into things. Like snow in Memphis.

It is really heavy wind and rain and I'm in the boonies for sure. It's kind of like camping lite. Of course I have the ever dependable subaru 2, we still grieve 'ru 1, the blue subaru, but that's OK, 2 may be a bit faster, even if not quite as hardy overall. It might be fun to have company. Any form of heat. Plenty of blankets and such and this place is insulated like an Igloo cooler.

Maybe I can read a book by candle, or battery powered lantern, light.

Tiger and Me(sic):a heartfelt confession

Dear TMZ, People, The Today Show, Good Morning, Letterman, and anyone else who will further my windfall of fame and fortune,

It grieves me deeply that I feel compelled to come forward to say that I am the true skeleton in the well appointed closet of Tiger Woods. Yes, it is true, we have conducted a secret and torrid affair for many years. He promised to eventually leave his wife for me if I would agree to breast implants. My religion forbids it. I'm not one to sacrifice my integrity or the bond of confidence for personal gain.

If you'd like to know more details, please contact my lawyer (abgado), Manny De La Copa, in Miami. You may have seen his ads on TV, he's "your abogado in a cup!". I don't get it either, but that's Manny. You'll like him, he always honors the highest bidder, although we resist any long term agreement involving exclusivity. I'm sure you understand.

I will say my days, and nights, with Mr. Tiger were like none I've ever known, and involved some interesting putting practice, as well as our own special little games we dubbed "a hole in one" and, my favorite, "pin the tail on the Tiger".

Why I am just now coming forward after all these years is because I feel it is the public's right to know, and even our president often stresses the need for personal sacrifice in promotion of the greater good. It is my duty as a loyal American to no longer deprive the people of the interesting and often peculiar details of my most intimate moments with the Mr. Woods. Not to mention my potential as a centerfold and pop celebrity. I would be remiss in my obligation as a citizen if I did not make these sacrifices so America could follow me around with cameras and microphones and discuss me publicly.

Since my affair lasted much longer than those cheap hussies, now seeking publicity, I'm sure you will alter your focus from them to me. I'm the real deal. You'll soon see, provided you meet the terms set out by Manny, that Tiger's heart is mine.

Thank you.

I look forward to a mutually lucrative relationship.

Sincerely,

Juan O Ballistic

PS: I hereby claim dibs on copyright for new commercials themed "I Am Tiger Woods*" ...*secret lover

golf video

Doc, It Hurts when I do this--Don't do that

So, there I was, at the house owned by the guy who is Chicago connected. Mayor Daly's pal, and Obama's. This may explain the wealth, to a point.

Anyway, it was another project of dubious urgency. It involved a guy delivering and installing an item. Unfortunately, Pierre's pal allegedly began vomiting and and other grossness, so he was dropped at the emergency room, leaving pierre to carry on alone. I became Pedro, the illegal, I mean Undocumented worker's substitute.

During the process Pierre and I discussed the merits of CA vs Memphis, and such things as that. We agreed that it is a nice place if you ignore the cost of living and all things related to how the place is run and taxed. So, as long as you avoid the news, and don't start a company which employs documented workers, you can enjoy life.

It is so hard to avoid hearing anything news wise. Now the president is meeting with a few handpicked businessmen regarding "Jobs creation" or some other such misnomer. Necessity is the key to job generation. And freedom. People who talk "job creation" are rarely the people who do those jobs unless they are cushy, corrupt opportunities for extorting wealth from others.

Does it not seem a perfect opportunity for further feeding of special interests when the president meets with a select few to determine what he "can do for business" to help them do whatever it is he wants them to be doing? Especially since he slams the profit motive of businesses small and large. That talk usually leads to locking in the giants while killing innovation and competition.

The big boys will cry out publicly, but that just adds support for their backhanded agenda. It's the old Brer Rabbit thing, 'Please don't throw me in the briar patch!" Suckers.


Avert your eyes and ears, and you won't feel a thing. That is what I keep telling myself. In the mean time I have my camp stove and tent, just in case I have to go on the lamb as an insurance fugitive. I need a catchy protest phrase along the lines of "hell no, I won't go". "Hot damn, f*** your plan".

Since I agreed on my settings not to spell out such words, I use stars instead. It could stand for "flee", or "fish". I doubt that it does.

Just don't look, do not listen, ignore ignore ignore...
The key to happiness.
Well, that and hot chicks...

Tempting is only a passing emotion

Context is everything in the world of tempts. There are times when I was glad I went along with it. However I've never regretted the times I did not give up when tempted to do so. Unless, of course, I gave up on an illegal, or otherwise unwise, plan.  

It has generally been touch and go as far as giving up on matters that many people simply take for granted. But, I have the advantage of not giving up under some circumstances when the average bear (always the damned bears) would have.  

In contexts of a positive nature, I've never regretted resisting the temptation to give up, and I've always regretted giving in to it. That may be the big obstacle to overcome in this life. When to hold 'em and when to fold 'em. One of those lessons that recur like a strange dream.  

It made me sad to see that sense of defeat overcome the New England coach when there was over five minutes left in the game against the Saints. I've seen even San Diego come back in similar situations. Certainly I would have thought they'd try. Instead he just threw in the second string and called it a day. Maybe there was good reason but I hate to see successful people toss in the towel without a fight to the bitter end. I'll have to keep that in mind for my own life.  

Pro football interests me this year. There are years when I don't pay attention. This year is good. I like the prevalence of clever tactics and abundance of outstanding quarterbacks. Also the mini dramas, like the incredible Favre revival. And the rise of the traditional pushover Saints.  

People can say what they want but I would absolutely go for it if I were young enough and talented enough that I had a shot at being a millionaire pro player. Any specialized highly physical form of entertainment is like that, I think. Getting paid for an adrenalin rush. Only a few achieve that level. Hence the big bucks. That, and the fact that there is a demand.  

I suppose the concept of nature and how supply and demand are forces of nature is not commonly given any credence by most people any more. It's just physics. Like differential pressure, nature abhors a vacuum and all that.  

I always thought that a silly saying, but they said it in science classes; nature abhors a vacuum. And I abhorred being in that classroom. That was when I realized that there was a whole cadre of science and math professors who would do anything they could to obscure the concepts being taught because it fed their ego to be over your head.  

The real tedium in those subjects is deciphering the code they use when teaching it. The material itself is not that tough. After all, someone else already figured the stuff out, proved the theories and derived the equations. One of those cases in which giving up is a mistake. A perfect chance to rob The (pompous science/math) Man of his cheap thrills.  

The Man comes in many disguises.  

Speaking of The Man and disguises, no need to give up on the misanthropic approach to climate just because some of the top dogs got caught jiggling data and scheming to silence inquiry and disagreement in the scientific community.  

One can go on hating his own species and supporting tyrants who despise individual freedom and the greatness of others. No need to give up on that just when the masses have been conditioned into dependence and subjugation.  

It is tempting.

Rain

Growing up in Miami, rain was a regular thing, especially the last week or two of school.   Every day at 2 or 3 PM it would pour.   The big fun was riding home on bikes with the hooligans in my neighborhood. 

Here in east SD county, it rarely rains.  Very rarely.  I think they have more fires than rain showers.   Except for today.  Today it is raining coyotes and bobcats.  Perfect.  Since I was feeling sorry for myself anyway, the backdrop is fitting.  

I wonder if the wash down off the hills is making temporary rivers over the road.  I know there are lots of places prone to that sort of temporary flooding.  Nowhere else for the water to go.  This is not the sort of land that soaks it in like a sponge. 

This deluge will help alleviate fire fears for a minute or two.  Fire is ever the looming fear in the east county.  It makes sense in a way, and not in another.  I would think there would be technological advances which would be in place to ensure that a fire did not spread but so far, at least in populated areas.   Not that anything out here is a huge population center.  There are towns and people though.

Some of the measures that ought to be taken are off the table due to misguided ecological concerns.  Let's risk life limb property and the bit of fauna and flora we seek to protect in the name of the fauna and flora we seek to protect.  Just as long as it puts humans at greater risk, everyone is happy.

I'm thinking there are ways to contain areas ahead of time to minimize potential spread. I have a few ideas on the subject.  I doubt I'll ever try to suggest them to the powers that be.  

My back yard is now a maze of tiny streams meandering their way down to the bottom of the canyon or bowl or box or cajon, whatever it might be called.   It follows no real pattern.  Much like my mind at this moment.

Peace and Grudges

Most likely it is a result of holiday magic.   Whatever the cause my mind runs back in time forward in time and everything in between, looking at things from varied perspectives. 

This was a good day and I can't relate for what I'm thankful because it gets too mushy and complicated.   You just have to keep some things this side of the edge or you fall apart.

Then I started thinking about some of my past lives, and there have been many just in this overall lifetime.   All of a sudden I realized I was not the cause of every situation that did not go well.   It hurt me then and it hurts me now, but I was mentally saying, "WTF did you expect?" to various people.   Really, until now I just assumed all was because I was or am screwed up beyond help.  That may be true, but what is also true is that people should not say they dislike this and that, then get upset because you don't provide this or that.  In some cases I guess certain individuals just didn't like this or that if I was involved.  Time proved that to be a lie if I take the original declarations literally, which I did.

It may be confusing no matter who you are.  I don't know how to pretend it isn't as well as a lot of people, or else it is less confusing to them.   Another of the reasons that I keep a substantial buffer in place between me and everyone.   Confusion when it comes to others, no matter how nice, is the main reason.  It works as a compensating mechanism, and life is all about compensating for one thing or another.   Like wearing glasses to correct astigmatism.   

You hear things often about how everyone has this feeling or that difficulty, but I think it is like eyesight.    Not everyone sees so well.  Depends on the item whether some corrective compensation device is needed.  To say everyone has to do that in some way is as unproven as saying no one does.  How do I know?

All I know is that in a moment of clarity I realized there are people who are at least as crazy as I am.   The difference is either awareness or ability to own up.  

I wonder what it is like to want stuff so badly that I would camp out on a sidewalk all night waiting for a store to open so I could give them my money.   I'm glad it isn't necessary to wait like that and vie for position just to purchase necessary items.  Yet. 

It is only healthy for one to briefly dwell on such things as the troubling parts of the past.  Accept the truth, and then let it go.   Maybe it is slightly sad and maybe it helps free a person to deal with tomorrow.  Whatever the deal it is a little scary.  It certainly makes risk look far less attractive.

Thanksgiving In The Ballistic 'Hood

Every once in awhile it hits me; how much different my life is now as opposed to a few years ago.  A very few years, so few it might be legitimately called a couple of years ago.

I'm not sure what happened.  I'm not the same person, yet I am.  My bad habits, doubts and demons followed me, but I think they lost a lot of their strength along the way.  That's the genius in zigzagging from Memphis to Dallas to Taos, here and there in CO, AZ and who knows where on my way to the first scheduled big stop--San Diego.   Apparently it was also the last stop.   I did zig zag again from here to Utah, and Co and all manner of places on my way to predetermined stop #2, far northeast Montana.  Things you don't need get lost along the way.

That made the big Montana zigzag pretty much the direct route, once I made it over Beartooth pass.  Always with the bears.  They don't have many bears around Memphis or Miami.  Maybe that is why you don't see signs there telling YOU how to behave because BEARS are hooligans.   I couldn't believe all the rules, regulations, and suggestions out west in regard to being sure not to make bears mad.  Talk about your privileged class.  Bears have more rights than anyone.

So, there I was on my way home from a day of working on a wodden garage door that will soon be the envy of the neighborhood.  I stopped at my favorite gas station and ended up talking to a young panhandler for about an hour.  This is not leading to one of those "but for the grace of God there go I" backhanded gratitude things.   

He did not appear to be doing all that bad and he pulled in several dollars while I was there.  "Hey there, do you have a dollar or some change?".  That's it.  People just handed over folding money.   I didn't give him any.  My pockets were empty anyway.  Almost empty.

We talked about somewhat philosophical things during the coherent portions of our discussion.   What struck me most was how much his view was tainted by what he imagined others thought of him, and by his own prejudgement of what others think and do.  I don't think he's yet figured out that everyone is some version of human, or at least a life form,  and that few if any really find life effortless.   Unique to him, I'm sure, he wants to be a rap star.  I've never seen that syndrome before.  That was sarcastic in case you are unsure.   But he claims he wants to change the world.  I'm not quite sure in what way.  

Maybe he's the real hope and change guy, not necessarily in that order.  He's got the change thing down; not just the folding money.  I liked him even though I am pretty sure he was putting on an act.  I'll bet he saw the movie,"the Soloist".   He was doing an imitation of that guy part of the time, or else he was similarly afflicted.  

It is not unusual for me to strike up conversations with the fringe elements in public places.  I regularly make out of the way acquaintances.  

Our conversation did cause me to realize how little anger I carry, relatively speaking.   For many years the anger was free floating and usually unfocussed, or else aimed at myself. 

Now I am surrounded by people who are convinced that I have some redeeming value without insisting I become someone else to achieve that status in their eyes.  Their quality, to me, is not even up for discussion.  It is obvious.  I've landed among very kind interesting people.  It is amazing.  Not that no one was kind in the past. Like I said, I'm not quite the same.  

In those days, everyone seemed to be trying to make me be different than I chose to be.  It was bit disheartening at times.  Of course any grown up ought to be able to shrug it off and not be vulnerable to such things.  Lack of self acceptance and a few other issues were undoubtably at play.  I was ready for the sanitarium, but they don't exist like in the old movies. 

At times, I am almost ready for the sanitarium, still.  Now, though, I wouldn't go out of my way to check in.  Before, I would have waited in line or walked ten miles, at least, for such an opportunity.  I'm sure I'd change my mind at the door these days.

Improvement and maybe some wisdom based on experience is all I can ask.  And, coincidentally, that is all I get.  I'm pretty amazed that there are days like this one.   The real difference is that I am glad to be alive, and not just using the excuse that I don't want to leave a chaotic house for others to clean up as my reason for not checking out.   There is a difference in finding lifelines to justify endurance and being glad to be here.

I'm usually glad to be here, even though I have no clue what my future holds.  That is not true.  I kind of see two general possibilities.  Neither includes the overwhelming sadness I felt for so long.

Did I mention that the weather here is exactly the way you would imagine it in Heaven?   I don't believe anywhere on earth has a more desirable climate than coastal San Diego county.  Here on Ballistic Mountain we have a little more variance, and I like that.  Drive 30 or 40 miles, and it is always perfect.  Best of all things, as long as there is fuel in the car and it runs.  

The really amazing part is the nature of the friends here.  It is nice to know you'd lay down your life for people if the occasion ever called for it, and know it would be worth it.  

Life in the Ballistic hood is magic, even if it comes with the usual unpleasant hooplah a Ballistic mind can generate.

Wild Turkeys

There was a time when I didn't mind the beverage Wild Turkey.  Things change, if you live through it. 

Not too far from my place there are wild turkeys strutting around as if no one ever has them for dinner.  Just today I watched a gang of 14 cruising the hills.  Too bad I didn't have my slingshot handy.  I could have fed some people and left a few to continue doing whatever it is they do in the back country.  I don't eat them but some people do.

It is a difficult day because the fact that I am still sort of dangling like a leaf caught in a spider web is bothering me.  These are self made issues and the way out is the same as the way in--self made.   I have a right to choose whatever scheme I can pursue, but the result is not a right.  

How did rights ever come to mean anything other than that?  I think the twist in thinking has been orchestrated by the tack controls and jobs have taken over the years.  Between the culture of highly placed companies in the lobby world, and the culture of over reaction to every hazard of life, one can easily feel shut out and squeezed to the point that enterprise seems useless, and cultivating passions feels like the stuff of lunacy.  

That's the trap and probably not one which is worth falling into.  That's what I try to tell myself.  I don't need to change the world, just manage a little bit of return for some effort which does not feed the monster.  Unlike that senator from Louisiana, I refer not to sacrifice values for power and fame.  

I was wondering what would happen if the health scam bill goes through since many people do not care to be forced into one of the insurance programs approved by The Secretary.   Since it is tied to tax reporting, it could create a subclass of tax rebels and drop outs.  

There may be little camps springing up in remote areas comprised of insurance scoff laws living in tents functioning in a cash or barter economy.   I kind of hope so.  There are those who have no intention of costing society if the get sick.  They may choose to pay if they can and refuse care if they can't pay.  Certainly millions do not care to deal with a middleman when it comes to medical choices.   I guess the word "choices" is used loosely, as it is less and less applicable under present conditions.  

What no one is addressing is the fact that under a better tax structure such heavy handed and totalitarian policies would not be so easy to force on the public.  There are ways to improve things and most of those go back to undoing the sort of regulations which now limit competition and choice, and enable ridiculous lawsuits.   What we are looking at is not what people believe or what those pushing this tangled web of special interest windfalls and favoritism claim.  

A species of conformity is not only pushed these days, but it is forced at gunpoint.  I'm genetically or organically incapable of keeping up with it or understanding it.  I understand how it has come about, but that is so against the flow that people would rather not admit it.  It is too dark and stupid.  Who wants to really examine the truth of matters which have been painted as holy and wonderful, only to find out they've been scammed?   I submit the policies of FDR, and even Teddy R.   

No country I can think of has ever been very free for long, but the structure of this one was a landmark in that direction; a government designed to operate within the limits of a document designed to protect the people from abuses, and designed to forever limit the scope of government.   Most other countries are formed around an ethnicity and an elite controlling class.  

Whatever happened in practice, we do have a country which was designed to remove the privilege of birth by leaving choices to the individual and legally ensuring the right to pursue opportunity and self determination.   It is only when the principles of the document have been ignored that difficulties got out of hand.   Business-government "partnerships" which have sometimes been touted, have no business existing in a free land.  Enforcing protection against force and fraud would have drastically changed the culture of mega corporations that has developed.   

Business is not bad, and neither are corporations, just for existing.  It is when specialized laws and class envy crumbs come into being which ultimately serve the firms who keep the spineless lawmakers in power.   Much of the population appears to have adopted a belief that companies are damned at birth; a sort of commerce version of original sin.  It borders on irrational superstition.  Just as the belief that all commercial firms are good is naive.  Again, without the IRS much of that corruption would be tougher to work.   Opportunity, as it was once envisioned, would thrive much more than it does now.   It is not that hard to see this truth.  There are other ways.  The Fair Tax is one such compromise if you have to have something different than the original system, pre-IRS.   

I know there is still plenty I should and could be doing.  The fear of not having the energy to do it or that I'd fail is amplified by looking at the big picture and the move toward the kind of oppression and corruption I witnessed in Cuba and Latin America many years ago.   When you have some security it is easier not to be too alarmed about the remote policy scams because you feel lie you'll still have some cushion regardless of all that.  I hope that view is correct.  

I do not want to see those who have something good established be inconvenienced by out of control collectivists.   Obviously, many already have been, as is evident from the lack of manufacturing and the prevalence of long time businesses closing their doors. 

Like any circumstance in which a group of individuals function, some property and activity is best dealt with as common area, with a set of rules and procedures adhered to be all.  It works best for people like me when that common realm is minimal and forever limited.  You see the point at which it ceases to be of maximum desirability in many condo associations.  People start grabbing power in order to serve themselves at the expense of those members in the minority, or just at the expense of anyone of less power.  

That thrill of making people do or not do according to your whims even when it does not truly affect you is quite glaring in that venue.   Otherwise I'd have kept the Memphis condo and continued to rent it out.  Not being in town, and not being able to fight arbitrary rules which kept cropping up, designed to serve a few who owned multiple units, made that plan totally unworkable. 

Now I'm in Paradise and trying to maintain some passion and appreciation.   It's that feeling of "now what?" and knowing that it is essential to form some definition of it that troubles me.   Another obstacle, related to the recurring obstacles in my life, to overcome.   I'll bet the good things are right in front of me and I'm so sidetracked, mentally, that I don't see them.

If I ate turkey and worried about feeding myself, I'd know where to go.

Rebellion?

It is enough to make one wonder, for a minute or two.  I find I brighten up when I see things like a picture of a Texas flag with the word SECEDE printed across it.  On my gig box, now my video stuff box I have a sticker with the Conch Republic's logo.   That is from the time when the Florida Keys were declaring themselves the Conch Republic and seceding from the union.  It was not entirely serious although a few may have wished it were.

Echoes of the days when I was labeled rebellious due to the content of my contributions in class discussions from elementary school on haunt me these days.  I find myself less and less on board with the sort of thinking and philosophy that governs anything I can do to make a living.   The big goal is to avoid letting the oppressive climate of the day prevent you from having dreams and having the nerve and faith to follow them.  

Under the present system I think it is best if your dream does not include hiring full time employees.  You get your ass kicked for that and you need to be prepared to pay for two or three if you hire one.  More and more you are responsible for the person's past history and compliance with laws you may not even like.  If the health care/slave state bill passes, it will be even more of a headache.  

I think the best things to be involved in are personal and home security, ammunition and firearms (lots of legal scrutiny and hoops there, though), and any technology that makes you independent of gas prices, municipal water supply, and utility companies.   I know there are plenty of marginally useful solar and wind systems for home power but it is the government rebate and subsidy that makes it affordable and worthwhile.  It would make me nauseous to buy a thing like that and take the money.  Maybe I'd do it and maybe not.  That is one area in which I think it would be OK to re-invent the wheel; another tag attributed to me when I wasn't being called rebellious. 

Actually, I don't think I am rebellious.  I just don't care to run the lives of others and I despise those who do.  

The most encouraging thing that has happened in years is the emergence of so many people who have reached the limit as far as being willing to be controlled and robbed.  I'm aware of the fact that I disagree with most of them on some of the finer points but the tone of rebellion and dissent under present conditions is not bad.   Some even openly suggest that the IRS be abolished.   That is my litmus test for any national candidate.  If the person does not suggest getting rid of this tyrannical agency then that candidate won't get my vote.

That agency is at the center of all the corruption in our government and its ever growing control over our lives.  It is at the core of what makes this health bill possible, and makes it possible to force participation.  Because it is the tool used for backhanded bribes and the "partnership with the private sector", no politician who depends on doing special favors to keep in office will broach the idea of the Fair Tax or anything else that kills this SS style agency.   

Ron Paul is the only one up there I've ever heard mention getting rid of it.   He's a bit liberal by my standards but he's close to the point.  It was his campaign that often used the slogan "Legalize Freedom".   Best slogan I've ever seen in politics.  

I've seen the ball rolling this direction all my life.  The pile of lies and criminal management is monumental.   The corruption and lies cost many lives in VietNam and elsewhere.  First we go in, then we tie the hands of our own soldiers.  It is criminal.   For awhile they use the term, "limited war", then it was "police action".  WTF?   I am not personally willing to risk my life for a vague police action, or a limited war.  The limited part means you are putting your own troops at higher risk for longer periods of time.  Do it or don't.  The mid ground is disaster. 

Anyway, I wonder what rebellion is in the 21st century.  We can't so easily claim the states and throw off our modern day King George.   For one thing, too many people are oblivious of any of it.  When it hits them they think only in terms of the item of the moment, not the principles being violated.  If they honestly believed in the divine rights of the individual they'd think differently.  People have no beliefs, on average.   Yet, on average, most people are not overly dishonest or mean or unkind.   They just sell out real cheap.

You Are OK, in my book

And you know I have a book or two.

I think you should know that I am almost out of that home made jelly.   Always a treat.  That is just one of the lingering benefits and treats that surround me because of you.   Not to mention the ideas that float around in my somewhat empty head. 

I may yet scale that cliff to retrieve the errant glider.  Now we know to draw in the missing eye on the pilot.  Otherwise he flies in a big circle and that leads him to crash.   Next time.  

OK.   Thanks

Unknown Bill Number, maybe 3290 or 420 plus acid

I tried like hell to filter through the new improved alleged affordable health care senate bill.   The mandatory part is tied to the IRS.  Any month that you don't have what they mandate you should have in the way of purchased coverage, they fine you.  being an IRS thing, I guess refusal is dealt with by putting you in insurance prison.  This is absolutely unacceptable. 

The bill takes up a couple of pages rationalizing in language straight out of old USSR double talk to justify why it is constitutional and better for the common good.  The basic argument is that insurance is interstate commerce and that by not opting in you are affecting the economy of the nation because it influences the risk pool of insurance companies, and insurance is economic and most carriers (they actually said most carriers) deal in more than one state so it is interstate commerce and a good idea for all. 

That sort of logic has no limit. It can be twisted to apply to almost anything.  No matter who you think ought to pay for medical services, this bill is not a good thing and won't make care better or more accessible.  It is a heavy cumbersome process for removing money and power from the people.  What they say, and what they are doing is built on a pack of lies, with many special interests being fed with the dollars taken from the public.  It may be hard to see but this is a measure which will further ensure that those locked in poverty and dependence will remain in that condition. 

How do you cast out tyrants in the modern world?  In the 1700's it may have been a little bit more straightforward.

Healthcare bill HR 3200 ????????

Often it is wise to search out the actual text of widely touted and discussed laws up for vote in Congress.  You absolutely can not go by the little snippets you hear regarding what the bill will do, what it includes, who is helped, etc. 

In attempting to find text of the bill as it now stands, the one passed to the senate, I am not sure I had luck.  I did find what was supposedly up for vote in the house, Nancy Pelosi's "Christmas present to the American people. 

If I were to flow chart the text it would look like a maze which tracks back on itself and loops through other mazes as well.  These things are not designed to be overly clear or straight forward.   

The most glaring aspect is that the actual parameters as far as co-pays and how competition is treated are vague and mostly at the discretion of "the secretary" or a particular commissioner.  Other aspects will be up to a board appointed by the president.   In short, it is more a bill which transfers power rather than actually specifying how things would work. 

Much of the oversight seems to involve other agencies, such as the IRS.  

Regardless how one feels healthcare and insurance should be changed, I think this particular effort is geared toward a very serious power play and intrusive invasion into private lives and industry, not toward actually providing one more access and freedom regarding how he maintains his health.   I see hints that even pre-existing conditions may not be as fully covered as it sounds.  

Perhaps some of the more catastrophic types may be, provided you aren't real old. I doubt things in the realm of an old sports injury would be given priority if you aren't all that young or in great need; just something you'd like fixed because you want to go hiking or whatever.   

Anyway, it would be nice to see in plain English the true content of this legislation.  It looks like a lock for certain companies to make money. and extension of executive branch power and a tremendous amount of authority put in the hands of officials who are not elected by the people whose lives they would influence.

Privileged

Just a pic from the movie site thejourneythemovie.com

There are lots of movies titled "The Journey".  This is not the one about the Indian lesbians, their trials, tribulations, and forbidden love.  Although that does sound like a must see. 

More on The Journey I'm reviewing a little later on the page.

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The term "under privileged" begins to take on new meaning when you think of all the licenses and permits there are for the various aspects of conducting a life.   If passing the test and getting a license to drive is a privilege, not a right, then I assume every licensable activity is a privilege, not a right.  

Did you know that you have to have a license to own a cat or dog in some towns?   Actually the cat or dog has to have the license, similar to the plates on your car, I think.  Owning a cat is a privilege, not a right.   And this is separate from being sure the animal has shots and all that.  At least one vet who performed all those tasks then reported the owner for not having a creature license.   

This probably makes sense to plenty of people, and they might lecture me about how that $70.00 fee goes toward animal control or maybe lawyers who sue humans on behalf of other living things.   Once again we disagree in principle.  

So, wanting to be even more privileged than I already am, I set out to get my library privileges here in the best of southern California.   I presented my case to the local library in the town northeast of me.   Very small town.  There is a school, a feed and saddle store, a sort of general store, and the pizza and other food diner.  And the library.  Very small but their computers were all being used.  They have about six of those.  I was impressed.  

It all went without a hitch so I checked the shelves and found a book and a movie.  The movie is an indie film which I highly recommend.  It claims to be in the tradition of Motorcycle diaries and Y Tu Mama Tambien.  I am no fan of Motorcycle Diaries, being a bit more sympathetic toward those Cubans who did not deserve Che's firing squads than I am toward Che, or Fidel.   

This film, The Journey, is not supposed to be about any historical figure or T shirt icon.  It is simply a good story, with better directing, and much better acting than the Motorcycle Diaries.  Much more real without trying, even though some was anything but realistic. 

It was directed by Scott Marcano, who also co-wrote the story.  This film makes me want to see what else he has out there.   Andres Londono and Kazandra Santana do well in the lead roles as do the supporting players.  The soundtrack is not bad at all.   I'm a sucker for most films set in Mexico with a Latin soundtrack.  This one begins in Orange County, near Los Angeles, with the last 7/8 of the flick occurring in Mexico.  

I know that due to Motorcylce Diaries fame and misguided praise, they think it will pique interest by categorizing this independent flick as being in that tradition, but to me that is like marketing Renoir as being in the tradition of the guy who paints tigers on black velvet.

So, I got a license to read and watch movies for free.  Not owning a pet, I figure maybe they charge pet fees that pay for the library, who knows?  I am not sure they put license plates on animals yet in CA.  There is absolutely no way to keep up with the various rules and peculiarities.  The license to be a cat thing came to my attention when being told of a story set in a Wisconsin town.  

Strange how places settled by very independent people who did not to be told what to do eventually became insane "What if" nanny states.  What if you fall of your bike on your head?, etc.

Now that is appears I may not be overdrafted at the bank, I am able to notice the cool setting in which I live.  It was all new and somewhat out of my dreams.  I can hardly imagine living in a place with no mountains and hills and curvy roads which drop hundreds of feet on one side, while hugging the side of the hill on the other.   And no large body of water nearby.  

In this case, we have about the largest body of water found anywhere, the Pacific Ocean.  I'm still somewhat fonder of the Caribbean as far as oceanic locales, but ocean is ocean, so this serves the purpose.  It is big, and here we have sea lions, seals whales, and more surfers than you might guess. 

Company was here and now is not.  I don't have a host permit or license, but it was a privilege.   Like Muddy Waters said, according to something I heard, "You don't miss the water until the well is dry".  I miss having my company here, believe it or not.  I know.  That is so unlike me. 

Now I have great leftovers which might last a few days.  I actually had a healthy super dinner tonight.  Left to my own devices I rarely manage to do that. 

This ballistictour thing has been a long term healing journey.  It becomes quite clear to me at times just how much of me was whatever unhealed is.  In that context it makes sense not to get too impatient with progress in the various aspects of living my life.  I'm not quite sure what happened but it becomes amply clear that I am re-learning a lot.   Maybe I am learning what I never knew before, but should have by the time I was 20. 

This is going to be a slim Christmas.  No big Santa this year.  I do what I can, when I can, and I certainly don't expect or want others to offer anything beyond good cheer. 

I was beginning to get down and worried, but I think maybe I ought not do that.  Too much that I am happy about, and as always, too many people to be thankful for to be moping from concern that I don't rate it.

It Is Not Easy, being crazy

That is my experience.  Perhaps you are one who finds being a nutter a walk in the park.  Not me. It is rather frustrating and sometimes sad.  

Then again, I suppose the condition does have its moments.  Even so it leaves one continually self punishing over the stupid things done or not stupid things not done.   You look at it and wonder why you're such a stranger in your own mind, then you know; nutter.   

Don't worry, it doesn't encompass any psycho human tricks in my case, although  the quiet ones who mind their own business are the ones that you have to watch.  That is what they say, no?  At least a paraphrased version. 

Now that I think of it, that philosophy has swept the nation, especially since 9-11.   Unfortunately, it is another of those false truisms.   Sometimes the ones who look and act like killers and psycho-kooks really are the killers and terrorists.   Even now, for some reason, this concept, especially the out loud expression of this concept, is so distasteful to certain people that they would risk your life and their own rather than investigate the validity of the assertion.  Better to focus on the harmless, they aren't likely to do anything rash.

See how it works?  I start somewhat close in, and before you know it I've moved the conversation off to generalized comments on national affairs.   That's as close as it gets.  I'm not so sure that is a good thing.  Have I just made the case for my original premise?   I should be an abogado.   Spanish.  Lawyer.  

I just saw an advertisement in which a family is in a Mexican standoff pointing TV remotes at one another.  They all want to record a different show.   Along the way civilization must have taken a wrong turn.  It could be that I am less of a nutter than most, when you compute the final tally.

Theory of Finite Effectiveness of Centralized System Control

***The measure of desirable results in social systems is predicated upon the idea that it is not desirable to consider the individual components arbitrarily expendable in serving the goals of the whole system or ensuring the authority of the central controlling unit [modeling human social structure after ants or bees requires the assumption that the individual is of least value and expendable.  Ants do not possess a great deal of individual autonomy or self reliance. They system is designed to protect the queen. The power unit is not in business to protect the sanctity and autonomy of the lowly ant]***

The theory is that there is a point within multi part systems at which centralization yields negative results, and as the degree of centralization increases the integrity of the system breaks down.

This holds true in mechanical systems, and social systems.  

Prior to that point centralized control is effective and beneficial to the survival and sustainability of the whole.

An example would be in the realm of education.  Particularly in formative years in which the individual units (students) are less equipped for prudent autonomy. Large institutions, large classrooms tend to lose effective positive effect on individual units.   There is a point at which size of institution and size of individual classes are most effective in achieving the goal of positive guidance and education to prepare students to be autonomous, productive and capable of reasonable self governance.

Most school systems consist of institutions which are far past the point of diminishing returns and in possibly the majority of cases are below the break even point; negative results.   The oversight and guidelines for the system have also entered that realm as their function has moved from stated purpose of educating to indoctrinating, and care taking, assuming much of the authority which might work best left to family.

Obviously many other factors interact with this.  Systems overlap and influence one another.  The same principle applies to all such that the only effective means of bringing one system into the positive results range, in which each component is left its most effective level of autonomy, is to also bring the other dependent or interactive systems' level of centralization back into that range.

The principle applies to utilities such as power production as well.  To some degree it depends on the method used to produce and transport the power.  The problem with one unit serving too many user points is that any problem with the main unit affects a huge number of delivery points.  It is vulnerable.  

There are also factors of efficiency over large distances, loss through resistance, etc.  Additionally it places the users vulnerable to potential tyranny as any evil doer who gains control of the central point can then in essence extort and exert undesirable control over the users dependent up the product.  

This is where emerging technologies and even long existing technology which makes possible production at the site of the user, or more production points serving fewer users is desirable.  If one of those goes out, fewer parts of the overall system are hurt.  As it is with all these systems of society, achieving the best level of centralization of a utility requires other systems to also move toward that point.

The tendency to rationalize control in the name of morality can result in pushing control past the optimal point.  There is a point at which removing autonomy from the individual, the family, the community, etc., may detrimentally affect the system as a whole, even if it means some of those components do not adhere to that which other components on equal level would choose.  By usurping authority in matters which do not increase a particular unit's ability to exercise self determination, all components can find themselves reducing their own ability to thrive. 

Any of the matters which involve humans have to be predicated upon certain common principles.  Some of these follow the idea that systems all have a point of diminishing positive result when the balance of authority over function moves from the individual components to one controlling unit.  

In military terms, this concept is one of the keys to the success of the US armed services back when wars were defined endeavors with a clear goal.  Our system of chain of command allowed for each unit to have one governing member, whose command was broken into smaller units each with a command.  If any controlling unit, commanding officer was not present or taken out, the next in command was defined and prepared to continue.  Not all forces had this system and once their leader was knocked out, they were thrown into chaos and got their asses kicked.

So, that's the initial idea of my theory.  I think it can probably be refined to a formula, which would definitely contain many variables.  

I believe the problems faced today are largely due to a lack of recognition of the idea that there is an optimal level of centralized control in systems, especially those which are more complex and contain a wide diversity of subsystems.  

Additionally the lack of recognition that there is a point at which subsystems are best served in terms of their ability to be self determinant, even when equal entities may not choose the same path in response to the same stimulus.  As long as their choice does not impede the ability of the other components to operate then the need for higher authority does not exist.  It is only at that point in which control must be moved up in the hierarchy of centralization. 

Often levels are jumped in response to controls which are in place being ignored.  That's primarily in human systems.  An example would be when fraud, and violation of property are not dealt with according to basic laws which have been in place for some time, but instead are regulated from more centralized entities through very specific edicts which do not cover broad principle but very narrow specificities which then leave pathways for further abuse.

It works like electricity; if there is any corruption in the process at the highly centralized level then larger numbers of component parts are affected.  There is a point at which more, smaller, manageable parts can be more effective because the authority and control is closer to the source of the problem, and defects or corruption of a component pose less threat to the whole, and can be more easily traced to the source.

Another example in which over centralization of control has been a disaster is the use of social security number for so many things which have nothing to do with the social security account.  It has become a window for theft and fraud which is very difficult for the victim to correct due to the far reaching web each social security number encompasses.  In the effort to number everyone for the convenience of  control, the security of the individual has actually been compromised.  A case where centralization exceeded the point of positive optimization.

One day maybe this can be more simply stated and formulated.   I believe it to be a principle which holds for any system which requires controlling units, and as the function, size and complexity increase the tendency to exceed the critical point and dip into negative affect on the entire system increases at an accelerated rate.

See, I'm not really an anarchist, although, if one considers the present day system moderate control, or even not enough, then I am anarchist by comparison.

I do think the kernel of this theory is valid.

Hooked on Anarchy Show

Hulu is a pretty good place for shows and movies, sometimes.   I recently got hooked on a show called Sons of Anarchy, about a motorcycle gang.  Lots of the guys look almost as old as me, and they still wear their colors everywhere they go.  It's kind of strange to think plenty of grown men actually do that.  No different than the current trend in which Republicans and Democrats in DC all wear red and blue ties, respectively.   What a bunch of garbage.  Just like the Crips and Bloods, except with the repubs and dems gangs I know which color goes with which gang.

So, if I were to wear a tie and it happened to be red or blue I guess some people would draw a political significance from the color.  First the rainbow gets highjacked, now red and blue ties.  Now that I think of it, I like the motorcycle gang colors better, because even though they call it wearing their colors, it is really a logo, so they aren't highjacking some normal facet of aesthetic life like rainbows or an entire color.   I never did like all the red state blue state crap.   Logos take a bit more creativity and originality.   

Back to Sons of Anarchy.  First off, the show is pretty good.  They seem to mess up almost everything they touch, and they regularly have the wrong picture in their internal battles.  I want to tell the younger guy that the older guy did not burn down his porn studio.   No way to do it so I guess hijinx will ensue.  Many of the people in this show are very much like people I've known who were loosely connected or otherwise to the wilder side of the biker world. 

Generally I hate motorcycle gangs because of some of the harassment, rape and torture committed by Hells Angels and Outlaws in Florida and the Carolinas many years ago.  What they did was inexcusable, and I plotted ways to wipe out large portions of them but never did. 

Any group with a cool name like Sons of Anarchy gets my attention.  I wish I'd thought of that name for a band.  Fits me well.  Since it has been done I could not now use the name for a group.   No originality in that.  

The SOA don't harass innocent bystanders from what I've seen.  They mostly battle with other gangs and government agencies.  They also have tenuous alliances with other gangs and government agencies.  Maybe that is what I like; they portray the various government players as the gangsters they are.   

It's a great show.  I think it is on FX if you have cable or other modern media access, which I don't.  I'd watch far too much if I did.  

What drives me crazy is now I have to wait about a week for the next episode to show up on hulu.

 That's my review.