Thinking is Not Always an Option

After awhile a person can become too tired to think.  Although I'm pretty sure it is due to lack of adrenaline because of depression, that is the state of affairs.

So, I'll hit a specialist who is highly recommended by my previous primary care giver, the veterinarian. If only he hadn't retired I could have had the blood tests I need all worked out.  Of course we have to translate the numbers into human terms, as the numbers for various things aren't quite the same in a healthy human and a healthy canine.

That is just daydreaming.   When your vet retires, you may as well kiss any reasonable, helpful, quick healthcare out the window.  On your own now and in many cases Mexico is a better bet.  Too bad they are a thug state that holds people hostage in jail.

When I'm feeling great  think why go anywhere?  When I'm feeling down but not symptomatic I think I'm imagining it and it is all just a manifestation of my worthlessness and because I'm doing it all wrong. But when I feel symptoms coming on, I'm glad I have this booked.  I'll get the money.  This outfit doesn't accept anything to do with "Covered California".  I do not have time for CA to decide whether to insure me or harass me, and I am no fan of any of this.  It makes it look like I applied in time.   You figure, if I have to buy it, I'd pay as much in two or three months as this episode will cost.

I can't be paying that all the time.  And the slowness and corruption in the free stuff may cost me as much in the long run.  Well, it hasn't been free.  But it has been lower cost for not being rich.

I'm not too sure how this phase is going to resolve itself.

When Did I Check Out?

Seriously, I'm not believing I'm here, so maybe I'm not.  This would make no sense to those who have normal brain waves and an understanding of civilization, and maybe even women.  I'm not convinced that women understand women.   Never has one given me useful, accurate advice on how to please and ingratiate myself with another woman.  You'd think those who are in no way candidates for a special friendship would give honest useful suggestions.  They may think they are.

I think they have no more clue than I do.  So much for lumping people into one category or behavior and thought based on condition of birth.  Maybe those who create "women and minority" specific quotas, programs, preferences, or limitations should learn something from this.

Be that as it may,  I've got bigger fish to fry.  Even though I don't even eat fish.  I don't skin cats either. Though it sometimes feels as if a cat has skinned me and a big fish then tossed me on the grill of life.

I knew getting back on the books with a part time job, letting the Obamacare lady put me up for California's health garbage, would be a mistake.  California is now sending me thinly veiled threats in the form of a questionaire.   "We know you did xyz through ACME credit Union.  And we know this, that and the other.  So tell us every minute detail of your activities for the last few years.

I can hear the WWII German accent, and see the guy with the monocle holding his cigarette funny, backwards to the way I would hold it.  In his other hand is a riding crop.  His arm is folded behind his back.  He's very good at keeping that monocle in place.  I'm thinking, if you already know so much, and were weird enough to state it, almost like an accusation, why are you again asking me for my social security number?

A number I specifically tried to refuse when they cornered us in our bogus auditorium science class in 7th grade.  They had TV monitors and taught science on TV.  Then there were one or two humans that also did science stuff live.  I recall that one woman did not seem happy.  Stressed out, and she wasn't bad looking really.  I hope she went on to better things and got unstressed.  Now I get it.  Then, I did not.

So, why would you suggest the bad security practice of writing the ss# on a form in the mail, when you already know it?

The state is a lot like television.  Especially the kind with canned laughter; laff tracks.  If you are away from it for awhile, minimizing contact, it seems dangerously insane, annoying, and over the top when you are again exposed to the madness.  The scariest thing of all is to realize that you are the odd man out.  You're considered the troubled and deranged entity.  And in so many ways, you know that is correct in your case.  But in so many other ways, it is in no way true.

Go along to get along.  People never tire of kings, thugs, charlatans, and mystics.   Trying to even address particular issues is pretty much a waste.

I'm think of moving to a state with no income tax.   I like it out here.  But I may not be able to survive this crazy ass state.  You have to be either illegal or pretty well to do.  Moreso than I am apparently.   Otherwise there is a growing and consistent attack upon your freedom and enjoyment.  I don't believe in class envy or class hatred or class worship.  The class thing is always a big hit.

The big class buzz-phrase among charlatans and tyrants is always "for the Middle Class".  CA has got something for the middle class.  Pain, harassment, and a few crumbs and tokens of revenge for imaginary transgressions.  The promise of power--get The Rich--,and a few tax expenditures buys the "middle class".  Government employees claim to be middle class.  The bigger that group, the more they need to hit the poor and the rich.  The connected rich don't care.  Unconnected and only sort of rich are under the bus with the rest of us.

If you aren't making enough to pay rent and eat, you don't think how important it is to get the state's approval for your sorry state of affairs.  This whole thing is really wrong but the right alternatives are in no way going to be embraced by the majority.  People want what they can get from the state, and trade principle for a pittance, or a personality flaw, like jealousy or resentment.   So, I would make no difference in defying the state in any way.  But unlike most employed by the state, I would not harm anyone just because someone tells me to, or because I can.   That is what separates many of us.

There are those who'll do just about anything to save a job, even one that pays very little.  I've seen it on many jobs.  And the larger the company the higher the incidence of the mercenary atmosphere.  No question that most in these companies lie as a matter of course, one way or another, and would have no problem killing someone if it would save their jobs, and they wouldn't get caught, and if all it took was pressing a button or other means to avoid dirty hands.

I'll answer them, later.   You are either a believer that most of what this country and state do is right, or else you are being robbed and cooperating because they will kick your ass and take your money anyway.   Whatever the case, you are not being patriotic as I've heard some claim.  Taking one for the team are you?  No pain no gain?   I think, if you believe you are better than those who do not fund what you fund but don't approve or condone, you are not being honest.

Some don't have much money. And if they aren't using much in the way of anything not covered by sales tax, gas tax and the like, why make it so they can't live without your help?   A lot of what California does and the ACA does is exactly that.

I should have known this would be a can of worms.  I guess I did know and figured now is better than never.

Even in some countries, (ones we foolishly think are more overbearing) they have nothing like our bizarre complicated tax codes and criminally thuggish tax departments harassing you.   I doubt anyone has such an absurd tax code and an agency run amok like we have.  I still cannot comprehend why states, and sometimes cities, think it is cool to tax income.