A Strange and Partly Charmed Life

As of yesterday I have been a non drinker for longer than I was a drinker by three years. What this means is that for 24 years I have had no good excuse for acts of stupidity, poor judgement, incompetence, self delusion and self destruction. So much easier to have something to blame, as if without that something I'd be a filthy rich hero. Blaming society is tempting but doesn't carry a lot of weight.

Maybe my earlier powerless over women is a good excuse. Doesn't really wash but there are plenty of guys who would say, "Hell yea. It's HER fault!!". I can't really go that route. One thing I have learned in the last 24 years is that A) many women actually do have feelings (who knew?), and B) It is not really easier for them, contrary to how it appears. It is just different. Things balance.

I can easily pee outside. I can hardly become a trophy husband. I can have sex without getting pregnant, no matter what, yet I can't render people, men in particular, helpless with a look. A woman can turn a table over on a man in public, or make a scene otherwise, and still come out looking like the victim. A man can't do that--I don't know why. It is very strange. The threat of loud scene will make a man squirm and gives the woman the cards. She can slap or else and get away with it. It is part of the balance. And it is a balance. We can all be victims, but the truth is it's yin and yang. Just life.

Perhaps the long extended effort to meld the sexes will blur these distinctions and then we'll go back to might makes right. Or something.

Too big a picture for me. I think I'm getting fat again and soon my pants will be too tight. I will have to cut back on the potato chips. I'm not really that chubby(oops. meant in the non freudian and non biblical sense) so just cutting back consciously on fatso food and amounts will do the trick in a week or so. Wouldn't it be cool if initial weight gain all went to a really useful place which would be fun and impressive? Maybe not. There could conceivably be drawbacks and it may limit certain possibilities. never mind--just messin' with your head. as it were