heartbreak continued

The last post neglected the heartbreak part.   Typically, the writer of that post wandered off into the weeds, and before it was over, it was way to long of a post.

The heartbreak theme came to me when I was contemplating the ones that got away, and the fact that I both allowed and condoned such a turn of events.  Being me is an odd proposition.

I figure if I cannot make myself less of a risk, can't make myself more available, then how can I encourage anyone I really care about to put their eggs in this basket?   I can't if I am to maintain any integrity as I see it.

However, I have faith that one of these days the tables will turn and I'll know I've encountered the person whose best interests coincide with mine, and I won't feel guilty encouraging the commitment.

Most of the time I really don't care.  I do enjoy knowing that some people are happy and doing well, even if it sometimes causes me to see my own deficiencies which then generates that little pang of heartbreak.

I don't think the heartbreak is over any person, but over whatever it was in my life that compels me to somehow deny my own existence to the point that I feel honor bound to drive away the people I most want close.  I'm speaking of women here.  But I guess I keep everyone at more than arm's distance.

I break my own heart.  But I am OK with that, and doubt it is a thing that can't improve.  It has improved by shades over the past five years or so.

HeartBreak and New Looks

Blogger's New Look!!--they are so excited over this--is not better or easier for me. They do not like my browser. It comes up with some message about an unknown item that may or may not be supported by my browser. I have to click the "dismiss" button to make it go away. It is right next to the google Chrome button.

 Google is dying for me to use their intrusive browser, Chrome. No, thank you. I started to download it one time, in one of my biggest sucker on earth stupors. It wanted so much info and seemed way too nosy about everything and wanted to make love to all my other files, applications, and programs.

 I just couldn't have that, so I stopped it and did my best to remove all traces from the computer. I stopped it before it was entrenched, like a tick. Many programs are like ticks from hell. You think you ripped it out but it leaves something behind to make trouble.

 So, new blogger is pimping for google chrome. They are trying to sucker apple safari users. I have firefox, but I mostly use safari. I like it. The fact that there was no issue prior to the big new look, and the main issue now is that they want me to switch to their data mining evil tyrant browser, causes me to think this blogger thing is a google inspired conspiracy.

 Weren't they the company whose motto was "Do no evil"?

 Funny how those things are so often the exact opposite of intent, or action. This appears to be designed by the same people who new-looked gmail. It is not a better look. Just new.

Take heed, it is much like the hooplah and hoax that eventually became the car companies. Change things regularly, even when no improvement is made to the product, and then convince people that they need the new one.

 For example, until they actually improved function, handling, etc. There was little need to alter the 56 or 57 Chevy. I would have held it at 56. Many liked the 57. The 58 was a waste of time. All they did was alter cosmetics, and not often for the better. I would have stuck with 56. Maybe waited until the 64 stuff came out.

 Chrome is an apt name. All shiny, but that's it. Makes a good vitamin in low doses.  Great for fishing lures; suckers 'em every time.