Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Myth Busting: GM edition part 001

Who says American car companies never built fuel efficient practical cars? Oh, maybe it was Him.

Now, I will concede that GM built a ton of cars which later developed headliner issues. How many Camaros and other fine cars had that funky ceiling sheet flopping on your head? Plenty. It was a travesty. Other than that there were some fine rides.

For example, through a series of circumstances which can only be explained astrologically and possibly through careful scrutiny and research into my DNA, I am in the Ft Lauderdale area with an 89 Cutlass cruiser wagon as our means of transport. I was the designated driver as we cruised our way to Publix tonight. We knew the general direction, so we made it. If you are on a popuated road around here, keep going and sooner or later Publix will appear. The theory worked.

Better than finding food was the thrill of cruising in this very cool low rider. Station wagons were not as tall as SUVs. I forgot about that. This has a little 6 cyl engine mounted sideways, with front wheel drive. It accelerates well and handles just fine. I'm liking this stroke of luck. But as I ponder, I can't help but picture Al and all those guys in their giant Suburbans and mega vehicles, which is what GM assumed everyone wanted, now decrying the choices made by an auto maker who made what they wanted.

Arnold was Mr Warcar. Hummer would not have become nearly as popular without our doltish governor cruising around Caleeforneeyah in his war machine. He's a fickle representative. Let that be a lesson to other companies who want his favor.

Anyway, this Olds is the cat's pajamas. Other than a little dry rot here and there, and the ever present GM headliner issue, it is cherry. A dream machine. Chrysler can build the straight six Cherokees and GM can bring back the '89 Olds Cutlass Cruiser wagon. Detroit will prosper. Not too sure how taxes and unions skew the market in this case. Maybe Fiat can make those cars and by pass the troublesome issues.

Since we have czars for every facet of life, and I think he already has appointed some charlatan car czar, suppose someone needs to be fired so I can be the new car czar, or automobile product consultant czar. Possibly we could include all forms of motorized transport so I can insist we bring back the Vincent Black Shadow, and revive the Tucker.

Actually I think it is a travesty that anyone on pubic money has a title that includes czar or a job that involves czariness. Just shows how even I can be bought. Give me the czar of car and else job and there I go. I even want a single or two seat fighter for my company car. I'll learn to fly it myself, save money on pilots.

And, of course, I want the Olds Cutlass cruiser and the Cherokee for cruising in the highways and trails. .

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Ballistic Mountain, CA, United States
Like spring on a summer's day

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