What Does This Mean?

Every time I think about writing letters to a few different people who mean a lot to me, I always begin with "I'm sorry...".  Then I put it out of my mind and never write the letter.  I may be sorry but I doubt I could have changed it, given the hill I stumbled down.  That's a metaphor for my childhood experience.  Like falling down a very rocky hill.  Not enough to kill you, just keep you ever disoriented.

Something is wrong if every letter you have thought of writing for awhile began in your mind with the words, "I'm sorry.".

Yikes

And Another Thing

Mr. Schmizer, who may have been republican, was my 12th grade physics teacher.  I got A's on all tests, but because I was not Jewish, he and much of the class were sure I was somehow cheating, even though I could always answer any oral question.

I did hate homework but I liked the material and wanted a suitable grade.  Mostly I ignored grades so mine were all over the map.  But I wanted the A in that class.  Partly because I so richly deserved it for once and had made a shred of effort to be sure I understood the information given.

Anyway, another jewel in the public school crown, Mr. spit spit Schmizer.  His way to prevent me from getting an A was to give me a D as an "attitude grade" and count it as much as a test.  He claimed I talked but that wasn't true, the haters of non-Jews around me weren't people I was talking to.  They made their own noise.  He then decided I got the grade because I did not come to help sessions after school the day before the test.

I worked. The slave labor spear gun factory.  Satan's little tool of torture in the Ballistictour household.  That and the draft.  Geez.  Besides, if I am acing the tests, and I mean generally with 100% unless Schmizo could invent deductions of a point or two here and there, why would I need a help session?

Why would I go into a hotbed of people who just assumed I was stupid because of my riffraff friends and because I wasn't an Israelite?    They were so sure I was trouble.  But they got mad when I would play "hide the other guy's band candy", but instead returned it to its proper owner.  Then that guy was sure I took it to begin with, despite evidence to the contrary.  After all I was a dumbass, who wasn't part of the Jewish click.  Only Kenny Marx.  We skipped school and rode around Coral gables and Key Biscayne quite often.   I had actually defended some of them against bullies in grade school.  Most people I defended never reciprocated when it would have been nice.

So another public school success story.  And they possibly wonder why I want to write obscenities in response to memes on Facebook which tout the undying selflessness and dedication of teachers.

By teachers they mean those with that official title, not necessarily people who help you in furthering your knowledge and skills.

I'd Give A Lot

Right now I would sign over half of what I own to anyone who could straighten out this mess and get me up to date in the world of officialdom.  The place would have to be really good and squeaky clean, streamlined and organized.
By it would be a very good pay day.
Any takers?  I may tend to negotiate down but we are talking some good money.  Like taking cigarette butts from a junkie.  Or something.  Hey, I don't smoke.  Still.  That is helpful, but no guarantee I won't kick the bucket before I get all straight and right.  So, I am betting God wants you to fix this mess and help me not implode for a final time.
lots of love )LOL
 Thanks.

What if I Am Wrong?

Everything, almost, in my life has been done wrong.  What if all my views are really nonsense and I can't see it?  That would be bad.  I hope I start doing things right.  Then I won't care if the other stuff is right or wrong because I will have other things occupying my mind and that will be much better.
OK.   Happy Holidays.  I really would like to hide now.

The Secret Points of Importance

In all the nonsense I see online about the Electoral College and other matters dealing with politics and The Election there seems to be a real dearth of insight when it comes to these very important elements to consider.

Concepts to ponder: republic. tyranny of majority. what is an intrinsic-to-being-human-right? God given right, if you will. Lack of grasp of this explains why so many continually seek solace from the very monster which promotes so many woes.

Democrats can't afford for the word "right" to be defined properly. In pandering for votes, they try to convince people that it is their right to judge and control how others spend their earnings. That's democracy. Actually, with no qualifiers, it is.

I don't really know what republicans think. I really have always disliked the democratic party. I think Mr. Bobo was a democrat, and I know my civics teacher was. What a creep. He asked for discussion about a progressive income tax, for or against, pro and con. I was against but very articulate in my reasoning. He then did the typical democrat thing and tried to bully this 14 year old kid, in his class. Coward.  

He tried making fun of me to get the class in on the ridicule. It didn't work. I had friends back then and girls liked me. He really pushed it. I got kicked out for the rest of the hour. Even back then democrats used ridicule and abuse to battle logic and true diversity; diversity of thought. They hate it. And they've been assaulting the institutions of higher learning and public education for 100 years I'm guessing.

You can do very well in that system as long as you are of the right stuff. The right thinking.

Every time I think republicans might offer a good alternative they parade out these bizarre goof ball creeps like Mitch McConnell. He's a panderer and people know it. You may halfway agree with him bit when it really counts he is unreliable and tends to blow smoke. After seeing some of these characters I begin to realize why they call everyone else, "of color". Its like a friggin enclave of vampires. Some of those people really are transparent. I shouldn't be talking looks.

Republicans make me mad because they do such a poor job of being a good alternative to the democrats. Both parties will march us toward an eventual totalitarian state and world after that. That is what I think. They will both keep us in military conflicts overseas while restricting freedoms at home in response to "the growing threat".

Remember the outrage when people did not embrace president Obama. And remember how he went around with all these "Office of The President-elect of the United States of America". Lots of official looking seals. He was on it full tilt screwing with Bush until he was actually there. If weren't a fan you were racist. Now the same people say you are racist if you didn't like their recent candidate. Now they unload the misogyny word.

Anyone know the counterpart word? Do any of these misandrists know? Doubtful, yet their pictures are right there in the dictionary beside the word.

I'm thinking a good cause for this first lady would be to promote a healthy nudist lifestyle due to the vitamin D deficiency all across America. It is the vitamin D crisis. She can be the poster girl for this worthy effort.

And I have to say, I have a lot of questions about the pres-elect. I am kind of holding my breath, hoping nothing awful happens which would prevent his inauguration. That could be worse that whatever damage he plans to do. I do not actually find him more dangerous than Hillary, still. Or than most at that level of politics. In his case it is like a loose cannon on the grounds.  

In the other case it is a very tangled but strong web, (I would say "robust" but I have come to believe that is some sort of progressive code word, and I do not want to make contact) woven by crony capitalists, international bankers, and of course the people who make bullets and such. If you honestly

Just because. No real reason

think the entrenched Clintons, Schumers, and that ilk are driven by high ideals and not deals, you are someone to whom I would like to sell all the junk I own and the rainbow rights to Mt. Laguna.

By the way a natural right, God given right, does not include your right to forced labor or the property of another. None of that. Politicians often promote the result as the right, rather than the choice to pursue a thing as the right. You have a right to exercise. You do not have a right to be Mr Universe. You may or may not do that.

You have a right to seek shelter but not to demand it. Now people may choose to see to it that no one has to be out in they rain unless they want that. But it is not a natural right. Anything involving time and effort of another is not your automatic natural right.

Contracts of various types entitle one to whatever was promised but that is different. Defining things properly does not mean I think the fake rights lists from people like FDR or the UN are all awful things but they are not natural rights. I wish they were. I could demand the right to peace of mind and somehow finally have it.

I could demand the perfect mate because it is my right not to be a lonely loser. Why do my demands not get met?

It has been about a decade since I felt this bad and freaky inside. I shall once again overcome. I cannot dies until there is no mess and no hassle. And we ain't there yet. I suspect that when we are I will be loving life and be worth someone's time for the long haul. But right now I am not there yet.

Your Selective Anti-Racism is Racist

There was a highly edited clip of some guy talking at a conference to a group of people.  I had not paid any attention to this guy in the past.   Apparently he is all into the white this and that movement, although I think movement is an exaggeration.   I seriously doubt there are as many neo nazis and white supremacists as is implied lately.

Certainly not enough to elect a president.  But the democrats insist upon spinning the loss any number of ways, always avoiding the fact that the other people weren't voted for, the dems were voted against.  The smug, insulting culture they've developed, the INTOLERANCE of the democratic party and the tendency to bully.  Those are the reasons.

I know they would be outraged that I called them bullies.  But they are whenever they can get away with it.  You do not see the same violence on an every day basis from others.  Others hold a big event, or demonstration, they often even clean up after themselves.  A moveon or democratic demonstration will have property damage, animal abuse, Bullying, violence.

Not that those groups who clean up and don't be violent aren't off on lunacy too.  Wearing a three cornered hat does not make a political statement. Really.  During the revolutionary war, the British wore similar garb.  You just look silly wearing period clothes and pretending to be Ben Franklin.  He did it better. Just be your own crazy self.

Just how it is.  I know it is all couched under righteous indignation and any number of anger justifying excuses but the facts remain.

So the guy I just now heard, Richard Spencer, is a manipulator, apparently.  I am cautious about the video because it is so highly, and obviously edited.  It sounded racial, but there was no suggestion of violence toward others, etc.  It was hard to tell the point because the thing was chopped up to provide sound bites and footage of cheering people, some of whom did the outstretched arm, like the Hitler salute, or before that the original pledge of allegiance salute. (changed to hand over heart in the 1930's)

OK. So it is bad and on and on. They are using this guy as the face of the "alt right".  I am not sure of the term, but clearly the news uses it interchangeably with kkk and white nationalist/supremacist sorts of things.  I am thinking they are trying to cast others as racist who actually aren't by lumping them all in together.

That is like lumping democrats in with the alt left--those who want totalitarian communism and all that.  OK, many of us tend to think that is the logical end to the path democrats love, but it is still a stretch.   Republicans are not racists, they just tend to be there to make democrats mad enough to win some votes.  I have no idea what they want, honestly.  What I would have called the reasonable less government people is alt. right, before the media or someone hijacked the term.  So what to call myself or others like me, I don't know. Nothing left.

Anyway, this Spencer guy does not speak for me.  I don't think.  The video I saw only paints an impression, and I find it slightly suspect.  He could have been doing a parody but the context was so edited out, I would never know.  And I've seen some outright lies portrayed in video as truth, and done through clever editing. (See Michael Moore movies for many examples)

OK so racist, and let's blame Trump, who is obnoxious, perhaps, but racist is over the top.   I am islamophobic so I do not fault him or care if he is accused of that.  Many religions and cultures creep me out.  Islam is right up there on that list, along with many cultures of the world.  And I like different people and places, just not wacko goat buggering, women stoning lunatics.

OK. So there is outrage.  But the guy did not advocate violence.  Yet, to the left this is awful racism, yet when a Black Panther rants about hating "every iota of a cracker", and black muslims proclaim that all whites and white babies should be killed, they don't even take the rant off of Youtube, and we hear no outrage.  Some people are so stupid they claim that only whites can be racist. Impossible for blacks, etc.

La Raza, a racist group.  Black lives matter, racist and promoters of false information to create hatred. There are far more people wrapped up in other racist groups than white race groups.  Because whites are the least racist, per capita, of any other group in this country.

Maybe that was not always the way of things. It is now.  Or was.  People are doing their best to create racism and tribalism in every group.  Then you can pander to their emotions and control them better.

I'm saying that by denying the racism of la raza and every other race based conflict craving outfit, yet pretending the klan is riding through in legions and whites are all on some racism kick, you show how racist you are.  You think so little of non whites, those of color, not transparent, that you will not even hold them to the same standard when it comes to being haters.

Much of that racism is right out in the open and self hating whites try to pretend to take up their cause, which is oddly to free the world of you.  I may join them in that sentiment.

It is OK to violently assault some trump hat wearing character and it is not hate.  But please do not let the attackers be white and the vic an of color person. Now it is hate and gets notice.  Neither is a good thing.  It is the pretense and hypocrisy that annoys me.  Trying to have these double and triple standards is not good.  What do you think was racially wrong in the past?  If you can't guess, I will tell you--Double Standards!

The real elephant in the room is the gradual celebration among white people of misandry.  It has increased and become the norm, as long as the object of hate is white.   That is the flip side of the misogyny coin.  Male hate.  That enabled the manipulators of society to lump together women and minorities when seeking special treatment.  If you are a minority you can be either man or woman, it is not gender specific.  Throw in "and women" and it is clear what you mean is white women.  The others were already included.  Easier just to say white men need not apply.  And by today's double and triple standards, that is acceptable.

And you think Trump is racist?  I have no idea, but I do know that movements on campus for zones that exclude everyone "not of color" are highly racist. And they are bullies, crying about how white privilege triggers their angst.

I give up.
A world of lies, and I am thinking I will never just get my miserable life organized before I die, and everyone will hate me for being a loser who left a big mess.  So, what the hell do I care if people are stupid, and lie, and pretend to be thoughtful when they are creepy bullies, racists and morons?