To Prove How Boring I Am

What kind of terrible, boring person doesn't like Halloween or New Year's Eve? My kind.

I think it is because both nights are what anyone whose ever been an experienced drinker would call amateur night. People get ripped and set out to do the stupidest most selfish things they can imagine. Hey, I'll get drunk, fight with the wife, then put the move on the boss's daughter!! Yippee.

In the world of yoots, Halloween is often a vandalism festival. Even in my youth the tricks crossed the line into random acts of vandalism. Maybe I feel guilty. To my credit, though, I recall the last time I went off with the neighborhood kids way back when, I parted ways when one of them sliced up the screen on an orchid house for no reason. One slice, actually. I did get him to stop at that, then used aq big word which brought ridicule from my pals. I told them they could be idiots without, adios.

Soon enough, I went on to be an idiot without them, so there you have that.

Maybe I just haven't been in the right circumstance to enjoy Halloween. And maybe I just find it peculiar and think most of the time it sucks. I played along when little K was in my care. We went around the houses and everyone always said, "oh, how cute, she's beautiful" OK. Swell. If I had my way, kids that age wouldn't have time for Halloween. They'd be putting in their 10 hours per day, after school, at the local factory!

So, I won't be dressing up but I think I got roped into a Halloween birthday party. I'll be attending because it is one of those you can't decline. I'm going to go as a hypocrite this year. (since Bobby offspring already came up with very clever gold digger idea--brilliant). I'll also be the designated driver, I hope. I will for myself, anyway.

Getting Out The Vote; because I care

At long last, I've seen the light. I am finally accepting my civic duty to give back to the community. After all, I've been ripping them off for years, charging for my labor, exhaling harmful CO2, not to mention occasional methane emissions. For so long I did not get the whole "give back" thing. But then I realized how much all the give back talkers must have taken from the community. Honor among thieves and polluters, I guess.

So, to do my part I am canvasing cemeteries for unregistered voters. I hope to have them all registered in time to vote. It is too late for absentee ballot, but I think I can work something out.

I know it must be a good thing, but someone needs to explain to me again why it is so important to badger disinterested people into voting. They even pretend they don't care who you vote for, just want you to vote. If you aren't voting how I would like, I think you should stay home and do something else. If you have to be badgered and have no clue what is going on, I see no point in you weighing in on these matters. But, I know that is probably because I haven't yet given enough back to the community. Maybe soon I will understand.

To me it is like when the priest tells some couple to be fruitful and multiply. If he doesn't know them, he could be wishing some bad stuff on the world, and never know it. I think you should be cautious when encouraging people to vote or multiply. Maybe if I became Catholic, then went to priest college I would know better.

Until I am fully enlightened and evolved, I will ask that you don't vote unless you are going to vote like me, or unless you live in a cemetery, mausoleum, or other dead end neighborhood. In that case, just give me your tacit approval, and I'll do your voting for you.