Try As I May, Seasonal Pressure Seeps In

It is the result of not being as thoughtful as some people. Maybe I'm way too selfish or inconsiderate. Every year I imagine making one of a kind trinkets during the summer, then gleefully bestowing them upon lucky/and/or unlucky recipients during the winter fertility rites of your choice. I personally like Christmas.

However I would like to see jewelry store ads banned from the airways. That's for people who want to go into debt, or people with ready cash. I'm not in either category. Besides, I don't even like diamonds very well. You can make some nice things out of gold, though, and even combine some spiffy stones.

Just keep in mind, a lot of guys have lavished women with high dollar diamond stuff and the flame burned out quickly, so women should refuse to accept or expect them. Thank you.

I can just see the look of horror on faces of some people I know that I would say such a thing. They cringe at how I place myself in the category of way too- whatever.

Still, I feel tinges of guilt, maybe, because I am so unprepared for holidays and other occasions that land on a preset day. It happens and I don't know why. My inner clock is simply not linear. One second or minute is not equal to the next. It is either shorter, longer or lost altogether.

It will be OK. Tis' the season to hope I add something to the lives of those I know and like. Sincerely, that is what it is. Feeling bad for not being able to lavish things on people is really a self centered thing. It could be that is only an expression of one's desire to be loved, or in control. Often, generosity is not at the heart of it. It can be, but frequently is not. Otherwise shoppers would not be pushy and wear those strained psychotic expressions as the Big Day approaches.

One good respite from the melee is to watch The Riches, and Sons of Anarchy on hulu.com. My newest addiction is The Riches. Partly because they are Travelers, Irish descent, I believe. Gypsies, but not quite so gypsyish. I identify with that feeling of not being part of established civilization. However the idea of resenting the norm to the point of conning and taking from them is not a thing we have in common.

I've seen sites wholly dedicated to trying to water down the stereotypes of Travelers as con artists. Good luck. Even so, I imagine some are fun people. What I don't get is how they raise hell in parts of the UK because there aren't enough public sites where they can set up camp. Possibly this would not be an issue if they weren't kicked off of non designated camp areas. It is probably a thing like here, in which half the open land is off limits for camping or anything else.

I'm unwilling to get into that too much. Of course, it doesn't help that governments over there, and probably here, too, decide to impound their motor homes and trailers because they don't have any officially sanctioned place to park that is not full up. The seizing of property is a common tactic among all governments. Once upon a time it was a far rarer practice than it is now in this country. The rest of the world may have never experienced the wide open deal we almost maintained. At least not since they quit being marauding tribes.

That sounds somewhat disingenuous; the marauding is dressed up, not dead. Here, too.

I know.

I still can't say what is really on my mind, assuming I know. It is easy to see that whatever comes out gets farther and farther away from that as I write. That is not so bad. Being in touch with one's feelings is highly over rated. Almost everything along those lines we've heard since the sixties is pure trouble, and doesn't work. Not for males, anyway.

I still think Christmas is a pretty holiday. I like it. The smells and greenery and lights and imaginary sleigh hijinks. What's not to like? And the Salvation Army people with the red suit and bell. I like those people.

If only I knew of a good orphanage, like Father Flanagan would run, then I'd go do Christmas stuff there. Somehow two things did not make it across that bridge to the 21st century. Remember when Bill was going to lead everyone across? Well, good, old fashioned orphanages, and sanitariums got left way behind. Those things were once part of the private sector. That was before we considered government a sector. Christmas was better then, but I try to imagine that spirit now.

I wonder if we are having earthquakes or if I am imagining things suddenly moving slightly under me. It could be ghosts, or even inter dimensional anomalies which I feel due to my heightened sensitivity to such things.