Weird to Think This May Apply In More Than One Case

If you had any idea how much I miss you, you'd probably shoot me, or yourself.  For that reason, I'll keep it to myself.
Lots of love and unidentified emotional angst,
Your pal,
[REDACTED]

Well, It Did Get Breezier

So, on my way back into El Cajon to pick up my car and drop off the rental, I pulled into the CVS parking lot.  On my way backing out, I was making use of the back up cam, plus trying to find ways to glimpse the world behind and beside the car, first hand.

That first hand look at the world is tricky in that car.  It is good, in that the windows are dark and small so the sun is not too oppressive.  However, as I mention previously, this vehicle is best enjoyed by those who do not care to see where they are going.

OK.  I'm backing up, head on a swivel, left, right, left, up, down, etc., back up cam, all resources in play.  Then I go to shift into drive, still maintaining a vigilant watch over my surroundings.  I reach down for the crazy Chrysler shift knob which is like a tuning dial or volume knob.  I reach down from memory, grasp the dial and turn clockwise which is where drive is located.

Pic doesn't show that this is flat, on the horizontal plane. You see part of the fan knob at top, also on the flat horizontal plane. 

Only the fan sped up.  The fan speed  knob was located just above the shifter knob.  Can that even be safe?  They are close to the same size even.   Much as I enjoyed the new Chrysler car, and as dirty as my 200K+miles Subaru is, I found it to still be the more ergonomic machine. It takes so much less effort because you can easily see who is near you and where you are going, and there is no way you would go to put the car into drive and accidentally turn up the radio or air conditioning fan.

I'm still wondering where is the catch.

The drive shaft assembly comes as such, no separate U-joints.  It is very expensive and they would have had to pull it out of Oregon.  I think that is because they so rarely go bad.  But we are talking over $900.00 installed.  A little over $100 is labor.

Well, once again, my friend Kevin, from up here on the mountain and from the Copper Creek group of which I am the harp guy and sometimes vocals, saved the day.  Seems we were discussing practice fro this past Saturday's gig at the Wine and Song festival--friggin sound was perfect for me. Just how I like it. Anyway, I must have mentioned it.

I did mention it because I talked to the dealer in the afternoon and they agreed to try to find a used part.  Kevin has access to just about ever part source's data base due to his job--maybe he is actually with "The Company".  He calls me back and says, here is where you can get the part $100.00 and they deliver every day to San Diego.  There were some complications regarding payment.

But---here's the cool part---the dealer was fine about the part, and since, for various reasons I needed to pay the parts outfit, they held the money there and gave it to the driver who dropped off the part.  I expected red tape and, "I'm sorry, my hands are tied.  Our policy is, only parts from authorized Subaru parts emporiums!"

They retained me as a customer.  Otherwise I would have grabbed my car and stalked away, forfeiting the minimum fee the always stipulate for looking at your car.

It was one of the smartest moves they could do.  This is what I figured out.  A man like me does not want to think he got reamed by a mechanic shop just because he didn't have time or energy to argue or whatever.  Who wants to go tell people, "Hey did I ever get screwed by the mean service department or mechanic shop.

You sound like a loser wimp. I may be a loser but I don't want to be a loser wimp. That is a bridge too far. Does that even make sense?

Anyway, when they work this way I cannot complain.  I will tell people that El Cajon Subaru-Mazda is OK in my book. I feel victorious in some way, relieved, and full of good will toward that company.

I wonder if service departments and other shops realize how much people value a good experience.  I thought I'd save with an independent shop, and I really wasn't satisfied with what they charged and their reasons. Maybe it was all legit, but it felt like a little legit, a little con.  I doubt I'll be back.  And I can't recommend them.  Marketing.  They could have made more money in the long run.

Guess they counted on me dying.  So did I, but I don't think it will happen soon.  I am the miracle boy from hell, dammit!

If you ever doubt the sure footedness of the subaru system. Just drive it up my hill, then take that Chrysler up the hill.  You will be surprised.  I had no idea how spoiled I'd become to not slipping and sliding all the time./

I Must Be Rife With Buttons

Too frequently, on Facebook and elsewhere, something gets my attention because it hits a button that sets me off on a rant.  The trick is to not give in and actually comment.  But I do, and then I am embroiled in my least favorite activity--arguing with progressives who pretend academic superiority. Growing up, that was my brother.,  I felt he was cowardly and I just wanted to punch him for his obnoxious ridicule, pulling obscure, yet unimportant facts out, then taunting me for not knowing.

Always those factoids begged the question at hand. It was a propaganda technique.  I see it everywhere on FB and in progressive propaganda designed to ridicule anyone who even thinks of not obediently going along with the accepted line.

I have got to quit commenting. I cannot change a mind, and I hate to argue with a passion.  It brings out that desire to punch someone in the nose.  Not because I am not able to reason, but because I cannot stand the smug obnoxious attitude and the irrelevant little bits of nonsense sold as intelligence.  It reminds me of my youth and makes me angry.

I am just shocked at the lengths to which people will go in their rationalizing and creating straw arguments, whatever it takes to deed their desire to see others stomped by the boot of authority, while pretending to be above the fray and only seeking justice and the greater good.  BS.  They love the idea that they can be on the side which uses government to put the other side in its place.  It is unearned power, pure and simple.  And they love it.  Especially the academic variety who want desperately to be superior.
 
But, even by their own tests and standards, they have nothing on someone like me, and that really annoys them.  They scoff.  I just don't get it, is what they think.  They are right. I do not get it.  I think they are very bright but are too prideful to recheck premises in depth.  The live and lie on half-truths.

I tell myself I will not make a single comment on anything political, then two separate progressives put up a video of an australian comedian taking gun control and using false premise and half truth to ridicule the USA the Constitution and anyone who draws some connection between the two or sees the value of either.  More or less, that is the effect.

Of course the self appointed genius socialists on a mission comment that he is all truth, blablabla.  What kind of person trusts Joe Biden or Nancy Pelosi with weapons more than they trust their neighbors?  Maybe they live near the hood where everyone is lovely, just misunderstood.

I trust random strangers who are not in government more than I trust random officials from agencies I would abolish if I could.  Also, I am aware that news and social media make it seem like there is more crime and more shootings than ever before.  Not true.  We are being barraged by invented problems and then beseeched by the feigned panic of those same officials seeking more power because "we have to DO something!!!!"

Please, let me not respond in the future.  amen
.

An Important Thing Learned from Facebook

It is clear that I have lived most of my life with an optimistic outlook, in at least one sense.  I always believed, without really trying, that people were basically good, and that they mostly agreed on the value of values, even if they were lacking.  I also believed that people mostly preferred to self monitor--respond to their own conscience rather than be told what to feel and think.

I thought people in this country automatically rejected the idea of over bearing authority, and that they were usually honest and trustworthy because that is just what you do.  I thought most people relished the idea of you being able to live as you choose, provided you don't harm others.

Facebook helped set me straight.  I learned that multitudes of people are greedy, dishonest, dimwitted, and tend to feel self righteous based on things they don't even understand.  It is the thrill of power, attention, and maybe a chance for some free stuff.

A shocking percentage of people are truly dimwitted, base, greedy and basically dishonest.  And they get out of it with phrases like "my truth" or "what is true for me".

People will jump on almost any band wagon cause or destructive mob action, presented with little to no real information.

On the other hand, a lot of people are nice as can be.  But they'll still feel justified in telling others how to live, what to pay, etc.  Just cannot keep from stepping on the rights of others.

The old tv cowboy lynch mob rednecks have nothing on the modern day mob protester.  Pride in ignorance is the name of the game.

Tyranny of the majority is a concept they just don't get.  And the people who make it their business to live like royalty on our money, with our blessing, count on that.  They count on people being so weak that they thrive by being part of the mob, in the majority.  Soldarity is the hollow cry of the cowardly bully in many cases.

The majority of people probably aren't basically good, or not so good if there is something free in it for themselves, or if peer pressure is pushing for some uncalled for screwing with the minding his own business individual.

New Car Review; some kind of Chrysler

I think it is called 200.  I don't get it.  That was what the rental place gave me.

To make it short and sweet;
the car accelerates poorly 0 to 30, then it has some zip.
good gas milage--in the 30 mpg range
this one has SXM satellite radio--I like #31, Coffee something or other

This is a great car if you like turning a knob to put it in or out of gear, you like the new keyless cars, and you'll love it if you are not concerned with being able to see much of what is around you.
So, visibility is like driving my Subaru with the sun blocking shades still in place.

But the A/C is grand.  Like many American cars of this century, many control labels are blocked by steering wheel and other controls, so you have to twist and turn like a contortionist or a snake in order to figure out what's what.  Except some labels are so small and lacking in contrast, and being done in the international picture language so we don't offend illiterates, the best way to find out what the button does is to just push it.

There is a screen in the middle of the dash, about the same square inch value as the windshield, just a different shape.  This is great for keeping you from getting bored watching where you are going.  When you push the illiterately labeled buttons the screen changes.

Sometimes it asks you to tell it verbally what station you want.  But the screen is a tease.  It is insincere and does not honor your request.  You have to poke the screen itself in order to get back to some configuration you find comfortable or less hostile.

The seat adjusts in many ways.  Some of those ways are actually useful.  But beware!!!!  The seats are designed in such a way that if you drop anything it will disappear and require stopping the car, kneeling beside it and putting your head as close to under the seat as possible, then you use a knife, slim jim, or similar device to push the object out so you can grip it with your finger nails or a pair of tweezers.   An amazing feat of engineering.  No idea how they do it.

I drove all afternoon from hither to yon, and still I find a gear shift which is exactly like the volume knob on my old Onkyo tuner of yesteryear (size shape, may be the same knob) to be less than intuitive or ergonomic. It seems hazardous to me.  If you drive this care with children, duct tape their hands to their sides and tie them up in the back seat.  Or just toss them in the spacious trunk.

It appears easy for a child to accidentally push down on the knob and shift you into trouble, never guessing what's what.

That about sums it up.  Chrysler has always been good for A/C.  Maybe they started as an air conditioning outfit.  Maybe they shouldn't have branched out, though they did serve a lot of people well in past decades by providing marginally acceptable and culturally ubiquitous mini vans.

So for the big Dodge vehicles, also Chrysler products, it is "Guts, Glory, Dodge", said in your best monster truck promo voice.
For Chrysler cars the slogan is, "Can't see where I am, and I don't care, Chrysler"
Said in your best Al Sharpton tele-prompter voice.

Clunker? With 200K + on miles, these things happen

So every time I'd accelerate from a stop I'd feel a bunch of annoying clunking coming from under the floor of my trusty ride.  Right between the driver and passenger seats.  Sort of.

Being Subaru it has a rear drive shaft. That means U joints, etc.  That is what I think is clunking. It got way worse over a short time.  By the time I arrived home I had to really baby the acceleration to avoid that clunking.

Ah, but I discovered a trick!  The all wheel drive must be run by electricity in some way.  There is an empty fuse slot in the fuse box under the hood.  It says FWD.  We think it means front wheel drive.

Put a fuse there and now the rear drive train is out of the picture and the car is just front wheel drive.  Until you do this you have no idea how much the all wheel drive kicks in and prevents slippage and such on these dirt roads.

So, I am ok for a short while but looks like big bucks more than likely.

I am glad there is at least a temporary measure.  It is hotter than I like; in the 90's.  And I wonder if I will ever quit being so lonely.  At least I have some friends and people expect me to play music.  But I do get tired of alone-ness.  Now that I think I won't die in the next year or two, I am less likely to avoid people.  My misguided sense of nobility or chivalry usually causes me to run away for fear of screwing up someone's life.  Forget that.

I am now officially done protecting others from entering my world.  There are worse places and I think the whole premise is dumb anyway.

Not pleased to have car issues, but not really surprised, considering all the miles and all the uphill dirt roads.  Things wear out.  The fuse trick was found on a forum.  It is not a well known move.

Hey Man, Stay away from the brown acid, and the red and blue koolaid

Seriously, I find the level of thought when it comes to the organization and administration of civilized society to be surprisingly low and of poor quality.   Not much you can do.  People are not about to abandon their careening band wagons.

I have observed something, though.  An emerging pattern.

It used to be that any mention of Pelosi or Reid in less than glowing terms would yield comments like, "Oh yea?  What about Bush and Cheney.  And Rumsfeld.  Eh?"

Mention anything near and dear to the progressive heart in any way short of worship and you get the above result.  I forgot to mention that "lol" would be used as either prefix or suffix.

That used to be the standard fare.  "Hey, Michele tends to insult and be a bit racist."  "Oh yea?  What about Bush?  And Cheney.  And Rumsfeld?  lol".

But gues who is the new Bush?  Darn, you guessed!!   Hillary!!!

Now you see things like "I don't Trump; he's power hungry"  "Oh yea?  What about Hillary Clinton? Huh?"  The lol is used less by this crowd, however use of lol is optional and not discouraged.

I still think they put Hillary out there so the other koolaid crowd would wear themselves out, effectively expending all their energy so that Pocahontas can come in and mop the floor with them.  Forgot her name for a second.  Elizabeth Warren.  Hillary is the new Bush so Warren can be the new O.

I may be wrong.  They may be mesmerizing and deceiving even me.  If you only knew the reality of this life.  I don't know what you'd do if you knew what I know.  Probably nothing.

Or maybe shout, Oh yea?  What about Hillary, 'n 'em?"

Of a Neither Reflective nor Absorptive Nature

You don't reflect light in the visible color spectrum.  You do not absorb light.  It just zips right through.  You are as transparent as they come.  (Though you may have high cheek bones).

Has no one in a position to "make a difference" figured out that most of our modern war on racism is a series of false flag events?  All of a sudden, if you are not certifiably colorful, you must be of that group who enjoys inexplicable and abusive "privilege".  You are the enemy because an enemy must be found or there is no one to fight.  I have to have a foe in order to be your champion.

Who better to joust with the privileged, transparent oppressors of no color, than a privileged , transparent oppressor who disowns his/her/it/their ethnic ancestry in order to demonstrate solidarinosc with the dimwits who cannot champion themselves?   It is quite a good business once you get your glass slippered looking colorless foot in the door.  Just do not publicly accept your ethnic or racial fate unless you can check the "of color" box on your EEOC forms.  A colorful foot in the door is an easy money maker.  But it takes creative, and selective, reasoning and cognition to reconcile having a champion without color.

I wanted to be the champion of everyone except white (colorless) men, but Hillary beat me to it.  She listed everyone she wants to champion.  The list implies one foe against everyone else.  The best way to get a pass if you are colorless and not in gender transition, or not concerned with making people cheer you for doing unusual stuff with your genatalia,  is to be very poor and visibly sick.  Poor and disabled may be a good hedge against being lumped in with the Mr. Man-of-no-color devil.

By champion, I think the Hill is talking about government programs and various rules and regs.  She does not allow for the possibility that even po folk sometimes do not want big bro or sis over their shoulders, tying their shoes, censoring their lunch menu, involving themselves in various personal and family decisions and issues.  Some just prefer to be left alone by benevolent overseers, elite rulers, and self appointed champions and saviors.

So, now the national "conversation about race" has devolved to the point that everyone must be judged by their skin's ability to trap or reflect light.  This gives rise to comments like I heard on the radio;
Host: Are you a professional protestor, getting paid to go around the country to protest?
Protest professional: If I were not OF COLOR would you ask me that question?"

??? Really???  Talkin about transparency.  Obviously the game is now, "Hey person not 'of color', if you question anything I do, shoot holes in my alleged logic and grievances, then you are obviously a racist, sexist, you-name-it-ist...

We went from supposedly striving for people to be judged on merit--content of character--to now being judged by virtue of how much victimhood can be squeezed out of one's condition of birth.

No way I will not insert my race, sex, or gender exploits and/or confusion into the fray.  Race, if it be one of the chosen ones, is a virtue.

It makes me righteous to fight this holy war against a foe who seems reluctant to take to the field.  But he must!  Without the unholy foe, my special circumstance and condition, my victim credits, my whole excuse for everything dries up.

Just watch as those colorless, non reflective or absorptive devils try to save their crystal clear skins by feigning perpetual remorse and shame, apologizing for being so gosh darn lucky; privileged.

But let's just stay on top of things so they don't start a colorless of the world unite movement, trying to pull the old solidarinosc card--which everyone knows only works with peoples of color, or exciting ill-informed, half witted mob actions.

Oddly, the colorless rarely seek the company of their own to initiate forceful mob actions, unless of course they do it in the name of color, or some permutation of human sexual or greed based endeavor.     So the risk posed by the ever popular push for solidarinosc is minimal among the non-refective, non-absorptive.

If your cheek bones aren't high enough and shoe polish is scarce, the best way out for those devoid of color is conspicuous self-loathing.  I see this tactic employed regularly; "Hey look!!! I hate everyone of my non existent colorless ethnicity.  Please take me in and don't beat me up, skin me alive, or burn down my store.  haha, I have no store, burn baby burn.  Just don't hate me."

It is sad when someone grew up in the thick of the Big Pretense, not even aware on some basic level where truth begins and fantasy takes over.  This quote demonstrates the idea that if all else fails, using the holy words of the elite victim will make it all better.
"... I hope that really can drive at the core of definitions of race, ethnicity, culture, self-determination, personal agency and ultimately empowerment."   Asserted by a trans-racial shape shifter.  

If you don't  think we've gone absolutely nuts on the level of public discourse, I suggest weaning off of the koolaid for a few days.  Then slowly open your eyes, taking care to avoid being blinded by the light.,

There you have it.  Anything that results in empowerment is automatically holy, as long as no self-identified colorless men are looking for empowerment.  That holy word is only holy when involved with some kind of victimhood.   Usually the oppressor is an implied devil of some kind.  You can't see him because he neither absorbs nor reflects light.  The Devil of No Color

But really, what does that statement even mean?   I think I am other than what my dna dictates, therefore--personal agency, empowerment, definition of race, ethnicity culture, empowerment!  Throw the words out there little white dove, and we will let you be the raven you are sure lives within.  It is just the broad acceptance of nonsense, as long as a victim and an enemy can be identified, that is growing exponentially--and people wonder why so much animosity.  Neo-tribalism used in the most manipulative of ways so some can get what they want at the expense of others.

The Real Blues Are To Be Feared and Avoided

When you think about it, there is a sort of status connected to suffering physical ills, abuse from the white devils, the injustice of the Man and his minions, etc.  My blues are bluesier than yours.  That is the name of the game, and the most battered, hopeless, politically correct victim wins.

Never mind. After that paragraph, forget thinking about it.  We've now moved on.  What the real deal is that hopelessness can be fatal.  I think sometimes people off themselves, not because they don't want to live, but because, for some reason, they can't seem to make themselves do, with any confidence, what life requires.  No control.  Oddly paralyzed. Invisibly.

So, what can be controlled is that one can purposely kick the bucket.  Some induce that state of affairs with various weapons, potions, and mechanical contraptions and means.

Those are the ones who really have the blues. They got it so bad they can only hit the exit. Can't even sing about it or put it to music.

Whatever this is, it is not the easiest.
Not the toughest, and shouldn't be hopeless.  Should, or not, there is a ton of that floating around today.

Just have to remember, It is probably a lie.  Surprising how hard that is at times.  You sit there with bad feelings, no energy to fix stuff, and whatever your mind is doing is exacerbating the problem.  I try to remember, What's the one thing I meant to remember?  I can't think of it.  Everything feels like aloof, dispassionate, sad and hopeless.  Sharp mindedness does not seem to accompany hopelessness.

Now I remember; The worst feelings and the senseless stagnation are the result of inner lies.  But if you're not careful, buying in to those lies can make them come true.

It Really Must Be An Adios Kind of Deal

When you let it all get too far away from you, there is no catching up. When you clearly see that, hope evaporates. For that reason, I would advise newer lives to diligently ensure that two things are done.

First, do not let things go forever undone.

And secondly, guard your ignorance with your life.

Ever Feel Like This?

I have.  It is one of those periods of time.  Right now, I don't want to talk about anything, with anyone.  Anything may be a strong word. Anything personal is what I probably mean.

The name of the game seems to be avoiding finally giving up and accepting the fact that I am worthless and doomed.

Maybe not avoiding it is the ticket. From now on is all that can be influenced.  Whether I make use of that fact remains to be seen.

I think I am becoming angry enough to smash through the nonsense.  That's as far as I can follow this thought without serious discomfort.  Sadness can become a tangible, hated ghost.  It's one of those that relentlessly haunts some people for no good reason.

Time to refrain from thought until it all blows over.