Thoughts From Close Enough to Paradise

Today was one of those beautiful days. Besides the weather and geography, it was filled with enjoyment. Honest enjoyment is a thing of beauty in my book.

Often, when I forget the troubles I can dream up, or the impending doom I can foresee, I almost fall into that trap of wanting to keep my good fortune or optimistic outlook a secret so no one will hate me for it. That and the jinx factor.

Have you ever felt like maybe you should experience more disaster and pain than you already endure just to prove to less cheerful friends that you, too, are a victim of a cruel world? Seriously, there is probably a name for that disorder. I've felt that way many times, even though I have had hard times and dark times which I'd not wish on anyone. Some of those included the external trappings but all were primarily functions of something internal.

Today was good. I spent a little time last night and today with exceptional friends. Remarkable. Everything may not be as I'd wish, but I do think I'm more fortunate than not. Considering how things could have turned out, given certain paths of my distant and not so distant past, I'd say I lucked out. Probably a chemical thing but when I drive by the ocean or walk the pier on a day like this, I have to laugh that I'm here. I don't know how it ever happened. It's as if I've known the place and the people forever. And been fond of both.

I heard mention on the radio, probably one of California's extremely misguided public service ads, something about giving back and making a difference. The inference was that living a normal life makes no difference. You have to go find a public way to be seen doing something for free, presumably for strangers. I don't get it.

Why is it better to offer free whatever to people I don't know than to do something for people I know? If someone I know can use whatever it is I offer, I know that I am contributing to someone good. I don't care what others do, but I don't think there are really such separations in life.

One's spiritual life is not separate from regular life and if you are a positive force of some kind, whether by doing great work, including paid work, or by lifting spirits of those with whom you cross paths, it is all good. What is it that people have stolen which requires giving back? Giving back what and to whom?

I'd be lying if I said anything I do for the community at large, on a non paid, volunteer basis, constitutes giving back. Any paid work I do is imbued with special mojo not to be had elsewhere, and I don't ignore trash at my feet if it needs picking up. I don't abuse the world around me nor do I take what is not mine. Nothing to give back.

Now, in the case of friends, I definitely hope to give back as much enrichment as they provide for my life. Even so, I do not demand or take in a way that would indicate I better give something back and make a show of it. Who wants that kind of needy demanding relationship?

No, they can take their "give back" lectures to the halls of the state and national legislatures. Those people definitely have reason to feel guilty enough to think about giving back. To do it right would take them a very long time.

The "make a difference" part is silly to address. Especially because some of the ads tell you that you can influence the climate. Get over it. The best thing a person can do to really make a difference is to create something useful and better; like the electric lightbulb, or air conditioning. Or maybe a very cheap way to power a home without ugly by-products. That would make a difference. All things which promote the quality of life and independence of the individual make a positive difference.

Perhaps it is telling that I almost never say "we", as in we need to get better energy sources, or we need to sacrifice or we need to all get together. That's because I like people. You may not see it but the "we" talk is generally done by those who want to change and control you; the haters.

ps: I heart tennis. Really, I could become addicted to just hitting against the ball machine. It's icy like Borg. That can psych you out if you aren't careful. It shows no emotion and never gets tired.