Light at End of Whatever is Not Train Heading This Way

It's the whatever that is the question, not so much the light at the end of it. This job which was bid for X dollars, based on N hours of work at W dollars per hour, plus E dollars of expenses, became something of a walk over the edge. An adventure into the recesses of the mind; that region where fact and fiction, need, desire, and compulsion all blend into kaleidoscopic field of decorative confusion.

So, the formula was N x W + E = X.

X is the constant here. I made a deal; X dollars for this job. What we found when we reached the light at the end, which illuminated the final formula, was this: (Nx3)x(W/3)+E=X. Sure you can reduce it down to the same thing, but we are talking 3 times the hours and one third the wage. It makes no difference to X.

You can see how pain and suffering can be buried in statistics. The bottom line comes out the same. Be very productive for decent wages or obsessive compulsive, and therefore slow, for slave wages. The end result is the same.

Lots of people would actually pay someone a lower wage for lots of hours than a higher wage for much fewer hours, even when the end result is the same. They feel better if whomever they pay suffers. Those people may be sadists. They are without a doubt idiots. They are also in the majority.

Don't deny it. I know at least two out of the three people reading this fall into that camp. I mean idiot in the most complimentary possible sense. And sadist in the most benign of contexts.

In my case the sadistic idiotic boss turned out to be me. Obviously, I was probably suffering the aftermath of some sort of dimensional anomaly. It wouldn't be the first time. Things are more complex than your basic big bang theory.

All that and I still finished the famous Project J. As much as it can be competed for now. I'll go back sometime and go ovr the thirsty wood again, but that should be about it. This stuff may or may not even be teak. Every piece of wod is very different from the other. It ranges in color as do humans, from black to red to yellow to white to brown. You can't tell how it will be until the oil is applied. Either the jefe will like it or not. If not there is still now way to complain about the work. If you don't like the variance, talk to the sneaky Philippines manufacturer.

If you are buying beware the same manufacturer. They use stain which makes it appear that you have a more natural thing than you do. It masks places where they repaired splits with glue, filled holes, etc. Very sneaky.

Who cares? What I have been doing became insane. I would just stare at it wondering what could make it better, why I was there, and did it look great or horrible---I really can't tell the difference at this point. That's just sad. It is part of my nature though. I'll think everyone but me knows, until much later.

At that time my view will emerge, fostering resentment on my part, should I believe the wrong view now. If someone says it is good, and later I am sure it is bad, I'll feel betrayed. Same with other way around.

I know I do good work. There are instances in which the result belies the process. This may be such a case, or it may be otherwise. I simply don't know at this moment.