The coolest thing is that California, in all their wisdom, has declared me younger than I would have guessed. By moving here, I became a few months my old self's junior. What a country!! You show up, allow the HP to abuse and make fun of you, then they say, "Hey, welcome. You are no longer 102. You are only 98!" I guess a place built by miners, criminals and whores, and made famous by surfers and Hollywood whores (be he man or woman) is bound to have some fun customs.
What a great capper to the day. Certain insights and resolutions were achieved on my pilgimage to the higher altitude sanctuary, great feelings of gratitude for the people in my life washed through me as if I am some sappy sap, and then I find out I am aging in reverse. Not only that but I am bound for another adventure to the north next week. Thank you Southwest for those getaway fares.
How could I not want to go for another visit ASAP? This is another of those windows in time which seems filled with good life. This is a very good moment.
wow looking closely, I see they put a halo on my head. Caleeforneeya thinks I'm either a saint or an angel. What luck.
I am beginning to realize that much of my life was spent not feeling like it was OK to enjoy the moment at hand without an "if" or "but" in the inner dialog. "This is great, if it doesn't blow up and we all die". "This would be a perfect day, but it could blow up and they send me the bill, and we all die." That sort of thing.
Often it had to do with "Yea, I'm doing OK, but it would really be OK if I could just do some grandiose or half way normal thing and get this job or that money and not be a dolt any more".
No one can entertain such thinking habitually without spiraling downward, becoming chronically drunk and/or drugged, or both, and maybe worse. It takes some sicko strength to survive yourself if you set your mind toward self destruction and denial of living life. Or wacky luck. Maybe both.
I believe it is important to learn to appreciate what you have right now, and where you are. Maybe I just fell into hell so many times that all this is such a contrast that I appreciate it more. I don't think I feel the need to sabotage it. That is something it has taken me all my adult life to learn to avoid.
Obviously one doesn't feel this up for long if he is isolated and feeling lonely. I don't feel very alone, between friends and friend it seems I'm becoming emotionally whole. Who would think it possible? That's rhetorical so don't feel compelled to answer or despair that I didn't make it multiple choice.
All I know is that there is more to life than meets the eye, and a lot of what meets the eye is good.
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Can't make comments any easier, I don't think. People are having trouble--google tries to kidnap them. I'll loosen up one more thing and let's see. Please give it a try