Finally, Someone On the Global Climate Religious Fringe is Taking Dogs to Task; and spying on me

I won’t go find the article. It is more fun when people think I make things up, or get mad and lecture me on the finer points of wildlife management and such.

However, it seems like the astute academicians who discovered this new global threat are out of New Zealand ( a beautiful country which unfortunately already has one very strong strike against it in my book of personal geographic plusses and minuses). The geniuses in question point out in their new book, and I may be paraphrasing, Save the Planet, Eat Your Dog, that the carbon footprint of owning a full sized dog is the same as that of owning a Land Rover and driving 10000 KM per year. Of course that’s only about 6000 miles per year.

*****OK. There was much more to this when I wrote it last night. Today, it is gone. That is because these pet eating environmental extremists have censored me. I’ll bet they are watching me right now; probably with pepper and spices in one hand, knife and fork in the other. First they eat their pets to save the earth, next they’ll be eating useless citizens–those who don’t support them and buy their book.

New Zealand has the ambiance of a peaceful place with an abundance of very good looking women, but the island is besought with demon people who mingle among the population wreaking havoc. Most people don’t know this. I was lucky to escape with my life and without committing serious crimes like extended neck wringing or feeding someone to the sharks. I knew something was up when I discovered that NZ drivers do not stop and slow down for pedestrians, they actually speed up pretending pedestrians are invisible.

So, if you are one who thinks the earth can be saved and that it is truly under threat of dying from man made things like indoor plumbing and the Vincent Black Shadow, and you have a dog and/or a cat, or multiples thereof, you are contributing to the problem as much as the person who drives the Hummer that you think is evil. Hypocrite. You can only regain an air of integrity by eating the pooch.

Just wait, the pet carbon footprint crisis will be the next one used to control behavior similar to the devastating and crucial obesity crisis. I can only guess at the SUV equivalent of maintaining a child. Better be careful, today your mutt, tomorrow your bratty little offspring.

It’s good to see a modern religion that may get around to human sacrifice. Actually, it already has, but in more subtle ways than the old Aztec method. The Save the Earth church of behavior modification and hatred of humankind; no longer just for the wealthy radical chic.

Maybe if I become a deacon, or whatever their holy rankings are called, I can avoid being had for dinner.