To Prove How Boring I Am

What kind of terrible, boring person doesn't like Halloween or New Year's Eve? My kind.

I think it is because both nights are what anyone whose ever been an experienced drinker would call amateur night. People get ripped and set out to do the stupidest most selfish things they can imagine. Hey, I'll get drunk, fight with the wife, then put the move on the boss's daughter!! Yippee.

In the world of yoots, Halloween is often a vandalism festival. Even in my youth the tricks crossed the line into random acts of vandalism. Maybe I feel guilty. To my credit, though, I recall the last time I went off with the neighborhood kids way back when, I parted ways when one of them sliced up the screen on an orchid house for no reason. One slice, actually. I did get him to stop at that, then used aq big word which brought ridicule from my pals. I told them they could be idiots without, adios.

Soon enough, I went on to be an idiot without them, so there you have that.

Maybe I just haven't been in the right circumstance to enjoy Halloween. And maybe I just find it peculiar and think most of the time it sucks. I played along when little K was in my care. We went around the houses and everyone always said, "oh, how cute, she's beautiful" OK. Swell. If I had my way, kids that age wouldn't have time for Halloween. They'd be putting in their 10 hours per day, after school, at the local factory!

So, I won't be dressing up but I think I got roped into a Halloween birthday party. I'll be attending because it is one of those you can't decline. I'm going to go as a hypocrite this year. (since Bobby offspring already came up with very clever gold digger idea--brilliant). I'll also be the designated driver, I hope. I will for myself, anyway.