Advertising Conspiracy Unveiled

For some time I have harbored a resentment against Dodge commercials and those to whom they appeal. Truth be known, I actually have a minor grudge working against Dodge drivers in general, with a few exceptions.

Even more than BMW motorists, they seem to resist any urge to exercise common courtesy and good sense on highways and in parking lots. Upon purchase the new Dodge owner is brainwashed to believe he is invincible and all powerful, and on a mission to stamp the mark of the Ram into rear view mirrors everywhere.

The BMW owner is usually hypnotized into believing he is superior to all, and that other drivers are inferior and have no right to soil his view of the road, the parking space or the world at large. They certainly rate no common courtesy. Like I said, there are exceptions--not everyone is susceptible to hypnosis or brain washing.

Now I suspect that those who make Dodge commercials which are rife with subliminal messages which appeal to a particular demographic now make Dove-for-men commercials. There are too many similarities for the keen observer to ignore. I shudder to think what may be next. We must find this agency and discover the other mind control plots they may be weaving before it is too late.

Other, less aggressive brain control in advertising exists. Of that I am sure. I, myself, have escaped such mental enslavement. Fortunately, my path to becoming a Subaru owner was through research and need, not advertising.

Otherwise, I would be saying prayers to Mother Earth and seeking a sex change so I could become a lesbian. That would require much saving and sacrifice because I would be giving my monthly tithe to one of Al Gore's carbon offset schemes.

I'd be paying Al to change the weather before paying rent or doctor bills. For one to own a Forester and do otherwise is unthinkable to those who've undergone the usual mind warp these sorcerer run ad agencies cast upon the unsuspecting.

So, I guess I am lucky. Sex changes involve much money time and, I am guessing, pain. First we need to thwart the evil Dove and Dodge advertising masterminds. Later, maybe we hit Subaru, although there are worse fates than the one described above for Forester owners. At least it holds a bit of prurient fascination.