I've heard the word "humility" defined as knowing who and what you are. That may or may not be accurate. I don't have all that well thought out an understanding of the topic, nor am I sure if it is relevant to my confusion.
But the "who and what you are" part does come into the picture a lot. I have difficulty holding on to the concept regarding myself. That's why I short out and get defensive and stymied when someone wonders why I use what I have in ways that yield no apparent future or benefit.
Some of us spin our wheels because we don't know what we're driving or where it is headed. When a friend offers some view of what I'm driving and questions the intended destination, or observes that I might find something other than going around in tight circles more satisfying, I become annoyed because I doubt my overall ability to do otherwise.
It is a little like people who are afraid to open the door because they don't know what is on the other side. You can tell them what is there but if they are phobic, the door remains shut. Just the suggestion of opening it can make the person nervous and rambunctiously obstinate.
So, you were right; whatever i have could be better directed. It takes awhile to come around. I still have no clue what's what, but a little incommunicado time does help me separate blind fear out of the equation so that I can accept the truth of a principle, inconvenient or not.
I'm not in the business of telling people who they are, only when they hit a nerve or cross a line that I'd rather remain uncrossed. More than likely you already know who you are, and, odd as it sounds to me, in many ways I know who I am. It is contradictory because I have less doubt about much of what that vague phrase entails regarding myself than most people do.
It is just in the matter of assessing and assembling the components of my innate natural resources toward a lasting and satisfying end that I'm not all there.
You aren't right about much, however in the words of Dwayne the sax player, "you're probably right" in this case. He was gave me a brief lecture on diplomatic ways to say nothing. Telling someone "you're probably right" avoids actually committing. You've left yourself an out, and avoided causing them to think you need more persuasion.
In principle you were right. As far as specifics, you may have a point (another good way not to commit to agreement).
Sunday, October 2, 2011
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- John0 Juanderlust
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