Grim Poultry Conspiracy Discovered

Like many of the most devious and diabolical plots, the chicken coup has been in plain sight. They taunt us by printing the truth and proudly displaying it.

People are so accustomed to responding positively to senseless claims, announced with glee, that they often ignore the sinister substance of the thing. Or we haven't a clue what is being said, but it sounds good so we are influenced. "Now, with new Hyrdropinol and fewer colemnizoids!" "Doctors recommend it over zerbetium, 2 to 1."

Those examples are relatively harmless. What I realized wasn't so harmless was what was labeled quite plainly on the egg carton. I have to think it is a case of discrimination--an institutionalized hate crime--that the authorities have let this practice go on. No scandal, no expose on 60 minutes or some viral internet outrage. No occupy the chicken farm. Nothing.

I fear for my life. I have no idea why they do this, but it says right there in bold print on the egg box, "Vegetarian fed hens.". Some yahoos no doubt think this is funny. They do not know the potential kick-your-ass viciousness that lurks in some non-carnivores. They wouldn't be laughing if it said, "Snickering Yahoo fed chickens."

However these victims of the poultry industry are not animals, they are human beings. How can they get away with it? If you prick us, do we not bleed? etc. etc.

My question is, why are they feeding vegetarians to chickens? Can't they feed them chicken food, like seeds or popcorn?

All I know is that if I go missing, the place to look might be the local egg farm. A clever plot, since the evidence is eaten. I would think modern forensic science could prove wrong doing now that they know the score. They had no reason to look for traces of vegetarian in chicken droppings, until now.

They should have looked, but law enforcement is a bigoted, imperfect, corrupt bunch of pain in the ass sadists, for the most part, so it takes time for the few good people to get the right thing done. Yes, I know people like to say, "Oh, most in law enforcement are dedicated public servants, blablabla..." They know that is garbage and so does everyone else. Most in law enforcement are not nice people. You can't be and enforce the kinds of laws they enforce, in the manner in which they do it.

I've known a few cops, and since they were friends prior to going to the dark side I ignored the reality. I've met people who are cops, and I do the same thing--pretend they are swell people. But the truth is, when it comes down to it, and they have on their cop suit, they are not normal, nice people. They are power. And if you don't answer just right, show the proper deference, then zap, you are going to be physically abused, and probably cited or arrested--hit in the wallet one way or another.

In all fairness it is not totally the fault of the cop that he or she is a mini tyrant in most cases. They are in a system which promotes it. If they do the right thing, they are dealing with dirtbags which is no fun at all. They are under the thumb of politicians which is a can of worms too. So, the setup gives them an out--find mild mannered normal folk who are violating some insignificant rule. Less chance of getting shot, or of the person having power and connections which might jeapordize the job, pay raises and pension.

If they focussed as much on wiping out gangs as they do with stupid drug activity and traffic entrapment tactics, maybe it would be a better thing.

I still question the ones who go along with stupid laws under the excuse of "just doing my job", but that is how it is. 911 operators, dispatchers and other support personnel are less likely to have the same over bearing power rush that often possesses the cop. If a cop refused to do the job in an unconstitutional, and unreasonable manner, that cop would be out of a job in most locales. People somehow think it is unAmerican to say these things. I think it is unAmerican that it has come to the point where innocent people tend to fear the police more than trust them to protect. Some still think if you aren't doing anything wrong you needn't worry. My experience, and that of many others, has been to the contrary. Just wait, is all I have to say.

But I'm on the short list for chicken feed, and they probably aren't. Obviously equal protection means nothing when it comes to non-carnivores.

I'll bet something would have been done if they said, "Cop fed chickens" or "City council fed hens" on the label. But then the eggs would probably be rotten from the get go.

By the way, there is no such thing as a "public servant". They are paid, and doing a job-sometimes. They even have thuggish unions. They are no more public servants that the barristas at Starbucks. Except the Starbucks people provide a service you want and voluntarily pay for. Few surprises there. The barrista is unlikely to pry into other matters in your life because you ordered a latte. Perhaps the server of espresso can lay more honest claim to the title, "public servant", than most who self aggrandize with that tag.