BAM!!!bi

where was this guy before the deer crossed the road? Shooting this one in the butt, apparently. Wait a minute-is that a girl? Can't tell. Androgyny in camo gear. OK.

I've often noted that many of the wild animals in America have absolutely no regard for private property, human life, or rules of the road. My standard operating procedure is to take that fact into account when driving, experiencing the temptation to pet and cuddle bears, raccoons and the like, and when sleeping in the woods.

I'm the kind of guy who avoids rabbits, and even coyotes, when I'm driving, not to mention children and bicyclists. But, as luck would have it, I was unable to avoid Bambi. Maybe it was Bambi's mother.

The scene of the execution was not far from home, on the winding road from Alpine. Tonight I was in the mood to just slow poke, driving 35 and 40 mph on a 55 mph road, because there was no traffic. It had been dark for a short time.

So, as I rounded a curve I saw an animal start to enter the road ahead from the right. I began to slow but I was already close to the creature. It ran across, so I thought it was history, then it ran back across and I thought my dodge to the left had cleared it, then it did a 180 and dove into the front of the passenger side fender doing significant damage.

All the above took less than half a second. Bam! was the sound. And since the thing was to the side, it wasn't run over and didn't jar the car enough to set off airbags. I'm wondering if this rude animal wasn't depressed and intentionally entering into a fatal relationship with my vehicle. Fatal attraction.

After all, I thwarted its first two attempts. In the end BAMbi won.

My car seems drivable but maybe a little edgy. I'm lucky it pushed things in and not down onto the tire.

I'm also lucky there was no need to deal with El Cajon Highway patrol people. Now I have to get the car into an ElCajon body shop early to meet the insurance guy and pick up a rental. The first $500 of the repair is on me.

Once again I discover the hazards of California. There are times you just can't do anything. That is one of the reasons I chill on that road. But in all the time I've lived here that is only the second deer I've seen on that highway between Alpine and Descanso. Dusk and shortly after are the worst times for animal abuse. Animals abusing people and their property.

The worst part is that it is going to take forever to empty the car. I hope I find money in the process. The good thing is that I am lucky enough to have a means of getting it fixed, and I am unscathed. Too bad I'm not a carnivore. That was a big animal.