What Did I Say and Do, and Why?

Times are a little strained, but I believe it is a manifestation of the workings of my inner psyche, and the cumulative result of choices.  The battle continues.

I had to check to even see what I last wrote here.  Another diversion from what matters in my life.  At least what directly matters.  All kinds of things matter indirectly.  Everything influences everything, supposedly.

Worrying about things like how inaugurations are treated like coronations will not straighten out my personal messes, or fix what ails me.  I'm not setting a good example for myself.  I fall short due to paralyzing mental blocks.  Nothing new there.  Obviously, self generated issues can be redirected toward a positive path.  Why is that difficult?

I guess I have some assumptions about my place, purpose, and worth which do not result in feeling so grand.  It comes in waves.  Today that wave is almost drowning me.  But it is not even a real thing as far as I know.

Remembering my resolution for this year, the immediate path is clear.  I settled on a resolution which necessitates many small goals.  Even if I don't feel the passion for the specific goal some of the time, it still holds the blueprint should I decide to finally build the life I think is right for me.

If I can make progress on the things involved in achieving the Big Goal, my value as friend and neighbor will be greatly enhanced.  Otherwise, I waste away, go broke, and arrange to fall of the edge of the earth in sad resignation and surrender.   That is not what I want.

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