How To Make Best Potatoes Ever

Remember, I'm cooking on a glorified 2 burner hotplate.  If you have a normal stove, medium heat is probably OK.

First take two potats, slice long ways down the middle, Rotate 90 deg. and do it again, then cut cut cut into small pieces--not too thick.   I hate those places that offer french fries which are like half a potato each.  Lots of people have no clue what to do with spuds.

I don't bother peeling because I'm lazy.  I wash them and hope it gets most of the pesticide off.  Hell, in this state anything that keeps pests away from plants and humans is illegal anyway.

OK, pile the cut up potatoes on a plate, nuke it in the microwave for 2 minutes while the big frying pan is heating up.   But first, sprinkle some La Chinata--that hot paprika---on them.

Put some oil in the pan, just to cover the bottom.  Throw some regular paprika in there, along with a sparing amount of the Good Hawaiian salt--the red clay stuff.  Just a pinch or two.  And a cafeteria size pad of butter.  Not the size of a cafeteria, the size used in cafeterias.

The pan is hot--I always have a lid on it.  Remove the lid so you can now dump in the potatoes.   Failure to do so will result in junk all over the lid, and bad karma.

Now, pour in some half and half.  Put the lid on and thinly slice cheese of choice. I like cheddar.  Lay the very thin slices on the potatoes.   Do I have to remind you to remove and replace the lid every time?  Good, didn't think so.

Go boot up the computer and pull up your email.  Go back and put in some more half and half after scooping the mess up with a spatula and turning it over.  It will have a brown skin on the bottom  Got to get under that.  It is not to stay there.

You may be cooking other things at the same time--peas, salmon, who knows.  I never cook salmon so whatever.

Throw in a bit more paprika and chinata, if the stuff doesn't already look plenty reddish.    Don't overdo the chinata.  Be sparing. The regular paprika can be added very generously.  Maybe a little more half and half if needed.  Normally one dose at the beginning,  and one when you flip/stir the stuff is sufficient.

At the end of the process, there is little or no evidence of the half and half.  It becomes one with the potatoes.

Delete all the email that you don't feel like reading--ever.  These things take a few minutes.  Unless you have the burner way too hot, it is unlikely you will overcook.

Again, use spatula to lift that brown skin-on-the-bottom part and dump the potato extravaganza on your plate, leaving nothing in the pan.

It is better than any comparable potato dish you'll find at Chef Ramsay's or anywhere else.

You will thank me later if you do this right.   Don't know what kind of spuds I used.  I think it said russet.  Whatever ones are the best bargain, I say.

You say potato and I say whoknowswhat.

Another public service because I care.

It is for the children, our future, to support the troops, to give back to the community...etc.

Please help me pat myself on the back for my selfless generosity--it's all the rage, and has been forever.

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