Trying to Grow Up

I think I finally know one person who is as un-grown up for her age as I am.   Not the bratty, petty kind of immature you see around town, but a certain brand of clueless that is rarer and not so hostile.  Takes one to know one, I suppose.

Coincidentally this comrade of clueless is the first female my age I ever met.  One of the first, if not the first non-adult females I met in this life.  It takes one to know one, and that means I see trouble.

Maybe she was mean so I just assumed they all were.  No wonder my life has been an unproductive, can't get past "that" disaster.  I may have been too clueless to achieve anything better.

Clueless people can do a number on hearts and feelings without having any idea how to avoid it.   Good thing I replaced my blood with ice water.

Can't get to me.

It is absolutely absurd to have feelings or dreams of any kind at my age.  But my dreams more involve one day actually living in reality.  Reasonably, and happily living life as it is, not as I wish or imagine it to be.  Away from the annoying sadness than can be allowed too much power and attention.

A confusing thought which has nothing to do with this came to my attention.  OK.  I've always hated that abortion became a big topic over the years.   But then I was thinking, what if a woman gets pregnant, and the guy wants to keep the child, offers to raise it with or without the woman, be married or not, whatever it takes 100% out to do whatever he can, and the woman says no, this baby is not going to term?

If she wanted it and he turned his back, then he's an evil deadbeat and any number of stereotypical bad guy things.  The state may even chase him down for money.

If she doesn't want it, the argument is that it is her choice and she's asserting her rights, etc.  Probably the word "empower" is in there somewhere.  It's always in there, especially when a double standard might be in the mix.  And Mr. Man needs being put in his place.

It does seem a double standard.  Mr. Man is on the hook at her whim.   She chooses whether she is on the hook or not.  He has no say in the matter unless she gives him a say.

I'm just observing, not setting out the rules.

One thing for sure, a guy is smartest to avoid getting her pregnant unless he wants to.  And if it gets strange and confusing, be damned sure it is yours, especially  if the confusion includes buzz words like "empower", and other sexist dog whistle words that mean "screw you. Suffer an die, Mr Man!".  

You may never know the true paternity if she opts to abort.   That may even be her motive--to avoid discovery of her duplicitous behavior.  It can make you wonder, even decades after the fact.

Women have it hard.  But they do manage a great deal in the way of choosing when the rules are the same and when they aren't.  When government tries to ignore nature and dangles the promise of empowerment,  chances are it is not what it appears.  Many times what passes for a victory and hard fought gain can be an odd form of dehumanizing enslavement in disguise.

Whatever all that means, I do wonder how many abortions are had to avoid the possibility of the true paternity being discovered.  We'll never know the answer to some questions.  Or maybe the fact that one need ask is answer enough.
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