It Ain't Easy, but why not?

Most of the confusion and stress in life, at least for me, comes with being maladapted to see how to thrive under the structure of things, as I see it.  And it may be that I never quite see it clearly.

I think the root of most inner trouble is the inability to identify assets and organize those to best purpose.  It is common to amplify fear and loathing, look at all that which is not there.  Lack of money, motivation, plan, peace, etc.  That is really stupid.  It is like not going anywhere because you don't have an airplane.  Never mind you have feet or a bicycle or a car.

Finding lack is not so difficult.  Unless you plan to find  way to supply that lack, it is really useless to occupy the mind with it.  But for some reason that is how minds like mine work if one is not careful.  Perhaps many of these seeds get planted for various reasons to do with marketing, jealousy, or other external human frailties, that tend to prey on one's internal weaknesses.

Alright.  I'm glad we had this discussion.  We'll continue on, understanding it is about the love and a trust that it is OK to be alive, even if not experiencing it however it looks like people are supposed to experience it according to movies and public service ads and government edicts.

Funny how much better things work out on this plane when I keep part of me in a sort of dream place, the one that requires some trust and faith.  That must be what is meant by keeping your head in the clouds and your feet on the ground.

But really, most little sayings like that don't make a lot of sense.  They sound good.  I see crazy things all the time circulating the internet which are supposed to be profound or soothing, but they make no sense.  Especially the ones that feed the egos of those who are constantly in denial about jumping boundaries and stepping on the toes of others.

There are things circulating that try to paint obnoxious lunatics as free spirits and full of life.  They are pushy and insane, and I can forget I have my own things to do if I let it get to me or pay much attention to such trivia.

I'm pretty sure it will be OK.  I'm equally sure I can't get away with marking time and hiding out for much longer.  I'm like a guy building a house who has everything he needs right there, but he just sits and stares hoping for rain so he has an excuse not to confront the starting point.

But I am tough, so I can overcome the things in me that are so inhibiting and fatalistic.

I have to say, that Sunday jam over at Greg's was something else.  Really good players.  And everyone was working well with everyone else.  Went through a great amp.  Maybe I should make that a habit--the amp.

But I still think  ought to be more selective about when and where I play, focussing more on other things.  Priorities and avoiding rationale for escaping my reality.  Better just do not think.  Do it or don't and shut up.

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