Dilemmas May Emerge

It sure is difficult trying to get a few people to show up and not make trouble when playing music.  Now the bass player's ver part time job has called, and he can't make Thursday at Hard Rock Cafe. We only play from 5 to 7.  A nice, early supper time thing.

So, we know a guy who does play some bass and he is willing to take the time to listen to mp3 versions of the material and show up.  I was pretty sure he would not refuse.  He is also one of the best sound men around.  He's run sound at a few events, like the Dia de Los Muertos festival in Old Town.  It was good.

This guys is the quintessential geeky nerd guy.  You would probably see him at trekkie conventions comic-con. I don't even know how to write the last one.  Never heard of it before living here.  A big huge deal with people dressing up oddly and Hollywood celebs hanging out and comic book nonsense is the star.

It always sounded like people were saying "commie con".  For the first year or two I thought it was a democratic party event.

It has nothing to do with commies, but the con, I suspect, is quite robust.  "Public servants", the kind who make laws for us but are dumb enough to think Guam or Okinawa might capsize from too many marines, like to say that word, "robust".  It is less obviously hip, but still almost as hip as variations of sustainability, sustainable, etc.

Yes, yes, yaz, quite a robust and sustainable piece of legislation.  That is their speak for, people will be sacrificed for our view of the common good.  Must break some eggs if we want an omelet.

Where was I?  and why am I here now?

Bass player. Check.

The drummer has something wrong with his hand and is going to have to find a way to take time out. Not easy to replace him at all.  I am not sure if he hasn't pushed that hand too far. I told him. Dang it.

And then there is no telling the sort of time bomb I have become.  Boom, you're outta here.  Mostly the annoying attacks are manageable, but not always.  This esophagus issue is not good.  I may be seriously afflicted with an exotic ailment which may all be my imagination.  I always tell myself that.

And the Marine who brought me in to record on his project wants me with him from now on.  It could present a conflict.  He knows I play with Sande, but if he ends up with a little tour in the works, I cannot say no, I don't think.  I believe he has at least one or two songs that will do well on the country charts if no one screws it all up.

Temperamental people, like performers, do screw things up.  The ego and view of reality become very confusing.  

Anyway, I am trying to play where it suits me while I can. That could change at any moment.  If I kick on stage at a stadium or something that would be fine.  Otherwise maybe not.  I may have to go back and tell the internist I have an issue and quit arguing. I hate stubborn doctors. Does he think I made it up?  He didn't see it because when he was removing his device he messed up something in there. By then he was out so of course he didn't see it.

It is such a f'ing bureaucracy to navigate just to see these people. Hardly worth it.  The model of dealing with patients is similar to the corporate, and even small business, way of hiring.  Anything to avoid actual face to face contact.  Anything to avoid admitting that you are human or they are human.  How can we manage to never meet?  Somehow I blame the state.  But it is too tedious to back that up.

So, how is it going to end?  How will I ever get this mess sorted out so I am not worried about it?  It was good about a year and a half ago.  Year and three months, anyway.

Hunger does not show up like it did.  Now all my fatso clothes, that I bought when I thought I'd be a heavy non smoker forever, are becoming dangerously loose.  Time to gain some weight back.
I'm almost back down so that the skinny clothes are not even tight.

I decided the playing makes me feel better for minutes and hours at a time.  I can't do much else that I would like so this is the last maneuver into some sort of swan song scenario, or just exit in a moment of enjoyment.  I do not think this life can continue all that long as is.  But as long as I get everything organized, then I am OK. That is my only worry.