Like It or Not

Coyote Festival was good.  Perfect weather, nice sound and stage- equipment and personnel, and I enjoyed every group (at least one group was a group of one, and rocked).

Only picture I have seen of us does not include me, so forget it. I'm that narcissistic when I am bored or looking to stir the pot.

It is disturbing, though, that someone posted like 27 pictures from the event on facebook, and shows the band, but not me-- there left of Karen, the viola player.  Self doubt wafted out from the facebook screen like a tear gas bomb delivered by homeland security and local SWAT for my own good.

I'm pretty sure I've lost the appeal I may have at one time imagined I possessed.  The real question is, "Has anything been lost?"  You cannot lose something you never had.  That means this boils down to simple possession; yes or no?

I will say yes, but nothing more detailed, descriptive or relevant than that.

Figuring this thing out might be a good idea.  Truthfully, I have gone kind of numb in certain areas of thought.   If I think about health or consequences or what I really think in that regard, it immediately results in thought paralysis, until I mentally change the subject somehow.  Like now, I am talking about what I think without saying what it is that I think.  

Energy doesn't seem to grow on trees these days.  Or does it?

That reminds me; they have some of the dumbest, misanthropic tripe passed around sometimes on facebook.   The big idea that mankind is the only predator on the planet, and everything done by humans is terrible.   Beavers can build dams, but not humans.  

I don't believe in creating unacceptable (by my standards) collateral damage, but it is not really necessary.  That is actually what engineers are for, but people and companies get lazy, then they buy the government to pretend to make laws to whip the industry into shape, but it is mostly a means of rewarding benefactors and punishing competition.  Very easy to spec things out in such a way as to give one bidder for a contract a great advantage over others.  All the while pretending neutrality. 

That was a tangent, was it not?     Well, I am just not certain that I can make things happen, or not happen, to suit me.  I guess I better learn to reset the boundaries of what suits me.

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