No More Mr Middleman

When my father was alive, and my mother was alive, I constantly battled the problem of being pushed into the position of middleman. If I happened to see or talk to my father, which was not that often, he would pump me for info about my mother--usually trying to find a way to alter is divorce agreement.

He'd also quiz me about my brother. Not that he didn't have the number.

Actually they all seemed to think it was cool to make me feel some guilt for not being at war with any of them, yet, in a way, it put me at war with all of them. My mother put me in the middle between her and my brother, and to a lesser degree, my father. My brother sometimes did it too. I do not think I put any of them in the middle nearly as much. Almost none at all. It really sucks. Seriously, this is not a good development.

Similar circumstances, different relationships, and I am not pleased. Oh my God, did I let some piece of news slip before the rest of my gene pool could announce it to some other subset of the same goddam gene pool? It is as if my very existence is an awful inconvenience to those who hold grudges over some hurt feelings or vision of wrongdoing of which I am no part and not really a witness. Secrets which make no damned sense are exactly what I grew up with, and what came closer than you'd believe to killing me.

The problem is that it causes conflict with my desire to not disappear from the face of the earth as far as blood kin are concerned. On one hand I do not care to be sucked into believing I have somehow betrayed people, which I haven't. But the only way to distance myself from that ridiculous drama is to do like I did a long time ago--avoid, leave no forwarding address, and keep my phone number to myself.

A little late I guess but I do most of the calling when calling happens. All the calling, actually. I guess the only emails not initiated by me have to do with implications that my existence has created inconvenience. It would be denied, but it is there.

Maybe some in my family just can't stand it if I enjoy anyone else in my family. I think that may have always been the case. Hate me because others don't. I really thought we were past this.

Wallace clearly was ignorant of the fact that majority rule itself is not a holy grail, and that there are supposedly limits on democracy. Otherwise we could all vote that Bill Gates, George Soros, and all other billionaires give all their money to men like me.