Sometimes

..I love all of humanity, and that includes huwomanity. (for those in public school and the universal noun and pronoun challenged)
Sometimes, I hate them all. I know I really don't hate them all, but it is easier than assessing my many failures in life and my interactions with others allegedly of my species. I'd blame them for the wringer my heart has gone through for decades, but I guess it is m own doing. I'd much rather blame and hate. That is so much easier than looking at the truth.

What can you do? In spite of never being "home"--not sure when or where ever felt solidly like home--some people seem to appreciate what little I offer, while respecting my autonomy, boundaries, etc. Boundaries, autonomy, where one's rights end and begin are all totally foreign concepts to some people. I do not think such people are capable of understanding or embracing that sort of respect. Being an optimist, I place that group in the minority of Americans. Otherwise the whole country would be far more tilted toward unsavory pathologies than it is. Not a pretty thought.

It comes down to the simple truth that you cannot blame others for your choices.