Saturday, June 13, 2009

Depressive Guilt

Sometimes I feel guilty for getting a little depressed. Regardless of the mess I have made of my life here and there, I am still treated with affection and friendship to a much higher degree than I would expect. And my real problems are minimal. There is a chronic, nagging frustration that most people can't separate logic from emotion, and don't mind their own business. But that is just the way it is. By "mind their own business" I mean they are all for enforcing their ideas of how you should raise your children, live your life, ride your bike, etc. I find that morally repugnant, and somewhat scary.

Whatever the little annoyances, depression leaves me guilt ridden, both because I am depressed yet have plenty to be grateful for, and because of the regrets that might bring me down. So, after analyzing this quandary, I decided to absolve myself of guilt and see what I can do about dropping the depression. That stuff is like duct tape. Tough to shake it loose. Picture Curly, Moe, and Larry hanging wallpaper. Maybe you can't do that. If you've seen it you know what I mean. The wall paper symbolizes the depression, in case that wasn't clear. They end up papering themselves and hijinks ensue.

I've finally hit that point in life where it becomes true and obvious that the older I get, the less I know. I remember people saying that to me when I was younger. What an idiot, I'd think. I know more as time goes on. It is one of those things that holds in certain contexts but not across the board. Mostly it has to do with what is worth fighting. Maybe all my passionate opinions are garbage and have nothing to do with live humans. Hard to believe that could be true. I'm way too far ahead of my time for that one to hold water. I saw current events coming before most people were born, maybe even me.

Grammar be damned. That's to account for much of the foregoing.

IDEA: How about a new snack, Grammar Crackers? Little cookies with grammar rules and definitions stamped on them. Maybe they'd have to be large enough to hold adequate information, or else they could use abbreviations and netspeak.
Would that defeat the purpose? If they are tasty enough, no one would care. It could improve the speech and writing habits of an entire nation.

With thoughts like that it baffles the mind that I'm not a gazzillionaire.

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Ballistic Mountain, CA, United States
Like spring on a summer's day


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