Monday, April 11, 2011

Cheap Land!!!

Here's the results of my info plugged into the carbon offset absolution calculator. It tells me how much rainforest to buy in order to be absolved of my carbon sins:

TOTAL metric tons CO2: 19.4 metric tons
Amount of offset needed: $237
Number of acres* saved by offset: 2.4
Donate your carbon offset value now: $237
*acres of rainforest saved. On the home page you can even see your piece of the pie on google earth.
Above data from world land

Who knew you could buy rain forest for 100 bucks an acre? If I buy my 2.4 acres, I'll not only be forgiven for being a member of advanced civilization, but I'll have some primo real estate to boot!!

I think I'll build a small resort, using only natural materials found on the land, like mahogany and stuff. We can have a network of tree houses, linked by swinging bridges, and an underground tank for diesel fuel to power generators so we can have air conditioning. It will be underground so that we don't make the ground above it look unnatural. We'll use diesel Hummers, too.

Maybe you can buy some, and we can be neighbors. We may need to arm heavily as I understand drug cartels are also buying up rain forest for their evil operations and maybe for a place to torture people. I'm sure the countries where this land is have no problem with the gringo buying in at $100/ acre. Most countries love us coming in to buy up land and dictate how it is conserved. After all it is clear those dumb bastards are ruining it to sell us wood, and for their own misguided use. It makes really lousy farmland but they don't figure that out until a year or so after they screw it up.

There are many natural medicines and drugs there. Many of them of varieties which produce visions and allow you to converse with ghosts and animals. That will be a central theme at my resort.

I can't wait to get started. This bargain is too good to pass up. Absolution needn't always be painful. In this case, it is obviously opportunity knocking. I think my land will be in Guatemala. I better get in on this before it is all bought up.

Fear of the Unknown

If you follow the money, and I admit that I have not done too much of that, I think there is a lot to be made in the industry of inciting fear of things we can't see.

Many people, especially children, have been educated to a point of panic over global warming. Despite the fact that causes, and even the actual evidence of the phenomenon are in some scientific dispute, the business of this item is huge. It has been used to promote some companies, ruin others, and create all kinds of laws. The statement that consensus in the science world is settled and all that ignores the many scientists who do not agree, have signed petitions and who have generally been silenced for political reasons. Maybe they are right, and maybe wrong. The point is that fear is the main product of the campaign. Many by-products from increased costs, decreased mobility, etc are also in the mix.

Lately the big fear is RADIATION. We can't see it which makes it that much scarier. We go from one disaster in Japan to a wholesale fear of nuclear anything. Despite this effort with air travel, the use of airplanes is still widespread. Although, there are many who fear it like crazy. But airplanes are visible. And the result of a crash is fairly self evident.

Radiation on the other hand is little understood by me or most of the public. The sun is a radiation factory and some of it zaps us daily. I heard that somewhere. I can't actually see or feel the different types, to my knowledge, but I have a feeling I should be concerned.

Personally I am more concerned with the electro-magnetic hooplah that comes from powerlines, cell phones and all the radio waves zipping around in the air. I can't see those either, but I know they are there. I boot my computer, and connect online via cell card, and my TV reception goes all to hell. I can see that one has an effect on the other. Just imagine what it does to brain waves and sex organs.

What I am wondering is why I am too dumb to make big money off of invisible threats. Al Gore has made mega bucks off of it. So have many others. I think I am a slacker for not understanding how to do the same.

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Ballistic Mountain, CA, United States
Like spring on a summer's day


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