Saturday, April 19, 2014

Not OK, Not not OK

One thing clear about the medical process, trouble shooting is not part of it.  In my case they are buying time until whatever insurance attaches itself to me.

So, I go through hoping I can time showers and allergy dope, so that one counteracts the attack the other will surely precipitate.  It seems that the drying off is an issue for about 45 minutes or so.  Any activity that brings about even imperceptible degrees of perspiration could also be trouble.

The steroid run was very minimal dosage and not being continued.  Actually since I was unsuccessful at gaining insights through calls back to the clinic, I opted to avail myself of some prednisone a friend had laying around.

Then I stopped that, had another appointment and realized they are just trying to treat symptoms and the idea of finding the cause is something they won't consider.  At least not until they are sure some insurance is in play which will cover any number of tests.   Even then I get the impression that the motive is for everyone to feel like they are doing something, and that actual thought is not a trendy activity in the medical world.

The old long ago set up worked better for people like me, willing participants in the problem solving process, but not on board with "the doctor is God and knows all" attitude.    Or maybe not.  Unless a diagnosis was so simple a two year old could guess it blindfolded, I rarely sought professional attention.   had very little success with anything less clearcut ever, now that I think of it.

I can't solve this with so little information.  I think it ties n with my throat and stuff back in there.  If I knew a little more I could fix it.  I'm a very good trouble shooter in that I can use information from others familiar with a particular system, to then isolate the cause of the system's malfunction.  They have to be willing to work with me though. In an ego bound medical environment they can't be that open and honest---it defies all the codes of ego maintenance, and ego maintenance is their creed.

So, I'll keep taking the latest stuff.  I don't even know the name.  Some allergy med that has to be prescribed.   I think it is one that probably has TV ads with cartoon people rolling in the hay or skipping  through a meadow filled with wild flowers and weeds.  Everyone is happy in cartoon land because the protagonist takes a pill!

It has brought to my attention how far out of the mainstream I've wandered, and how sad I think various trends within the mainstream have become.  The clinic world demonstrates this.  It is good to have some of the advantages of medical knowledge and procedure.  It sucks to deal with the herd mentality and the culture which tends to believe medicating a symptom is as good as curing a problem.  Take a pill and go away.

The question regarding my access to guns was in the paperwork.  I didn't tell them how I bite  toast into gun shapes and point my finger like a gun.  I do it because I'm too old to get kicked out of school for such wicked behavior.

I was afraid to let on about depression.  I have the feeling they will punish you for certain answers.  It may not see like punishment to those who want to be swallowed into the system never to return.   The deal with depression is that, yes, I feel like a worthless whatever, but I make it a point to compensate for those things.  You just have to know that you live with  lying mind which is out to kill you.  You learn to replace the lie, or ignore it.   Doping it up may not be worth it to everyone.  But if you think the insurance companies and the post John Edwards medical landscape had moved us into a maddening one-size-fits-all paradigm, I believe that is nothing like the inflexible moronic approach to medicine we can expect from the ACA (obamacare).

They have me signing up for stuff I never actually asked for.  Entertaining.  People have been duped to such a degree that it angers them and they're hanging on for dear life to a team to cheer.  I'm still astounded that we allow the most vile of people and agencies to run our medical resources.

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Ballistic Mountain, CA, United States
Like spring on a summer's day


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