Sunday, January 3, 2010

Idea To Prevent Chagrin and/or Possible Arrest: and a useful tip

It's a great idea, born of necessity. Spring Loaded Zipper.

How did I ever think of such a great invention? I was out and about, hitting WalMart's*** auto parts for an air filter, then washed a somewhat oil soaked drop cloth at the local laundry. I doubt I did much damage to the Speed Queen. I'll get to the oil situation in a minute.

So, there I was when I noticed someone's gaze reflected just a hint of alarm, aimed in the region of my lower belly. I continued walking to my car then checked the situation. Damn!! Open fly syndrome. In retrospect I think it was open for about three hours. Oh great, the ones with the horizontal red stripes on a field of navy blue. Beats going Apache at a time like this.

There it is. If zippers were in some way spring loaded, like those doors which close themselves, I would have been spared, as would the public at large. If the El Cajon highway patrol had seen me, I'd be up on charges and forever labelled as a sex offender. That would suck.

Another stroke of brilliance occurred when I drained the oil. I was supposed to do it days ago when I first obtained all the materials. But I froze up. It's a personal issue. Anyway, this oil plug is mounted at an angle, not vertically. About fifteen degrees or so up from vertical. That means the first rush of oil does not go straight down or just a few inches off to the left.

It goes way the hell over there, clearing the pan altogether. I had a drop cloth down and doubled to make a better work environment and because I didn't want to soil the soil--my drive is not paved.

I think a half cylinder made from a milk jug or big soda bottle could be used to deflect the oil downward next time. As it drains, the stream comes closer to running straight down, so even a regular oil collector pan that has screw on side and end is too small to cover the range an unfettered oil stream from this car travels.

The thing is, I was laying there, zipper wide open to the world, trying to minimize oil damage as my neighbor/landlord walked by saying, "hello". Was she talking to me, or what? I answered as if she were talking to my mind. No wonder she scurried off quickly to points unknown; probably warning the people on this hill to keep children and pets indoors until I drove away.

This is all part of my new effort to save money and not have commercial oil change people lose the little fasteners which hold the cover underneath, and not have leaks. Last time they did it, I had a leak. The oil filter, allegedly. I'm missing a couple of the fasteners, too. It's a bad design, but I notice the oil change people lose them without fail.

I admit, it was a rookie mistake and an indication that I've been lazy for too long. Long ago I learned not to be tricked by oil drains. I'm rusty.

The only troubling part of the spring loaded zipper is that you do not want it to be forceful or close tight if any obstruction might be in the way. Perhaps an electric eye, laser device could be installed.

***What they've been saying about walmart may be true. I was dirty and my fly was wide open, yet I didn't feel at all out of place. If I were on a search for mutants in America, I'd park myself in Walmart.
What is it about those people that they leave the cart between their car and the next even though only fifteen feet away is the cart corral?

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Ballistic Mountain, CA, United States
Like spring on a summer's day


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