Thursday, March 26, 2015

Dracula vs House

I forgot to mention that my esteemed hematologist, Dr. Dracula is clearly a proud graduate of the Dr Gregory House school of bedside manner and client charming.  The good thing is that I do not put up with it.

We had a minor dispute the first visit, over some material that I had ordered sent to his office from another bureaucratic medical facility.  It took all morning with many calls back and forth because many dimwits are in the loop and they screw thing sup, lie, and forget.

Anyway, I knew it had arrived.  But the info never made its way to him.  I convinced him to go check, over his superior-toned protests.  Finally he says, "Oh, you were right".  I replied, "Of course I was right!!  I would not have told you that if I had the slightest doubt!"  Then something else came up and he had to back pedal.  He is good but a little rushed.

This last time he tried to be gruff and brusk, and when he finished telling me was what, he wondered if I was thoroughly confused.   No, I am an astute patient.  He raised his eyebrows and suggested I'd be the first in thirty years.  "Your lucky day!"  I love it when I can confuse the ego of a guy like that.
It is fun.
Definitely a House candidate though, but he doesn't limp or appear to be on drugs, unless maybe some form of speed or cocaine.

It's a Miracle or something

This is my second attempt.  I wrote one post but I felt it would be boring and too long.

I've been waiting to hear whether I have multiple myeloma or some other bone marrow type of cancer.   The blood being produced is wacko.  That is the latin for not quite right.

What kept throwing them off was the very anemic condition of the fluid in my veins.   Various disorders in the blood factory (bone marrow) can be the culprit, they were thinking.  But what's up with this anemia situation?  The boy claims he does not menstruate.  They looked askance as I denied it over and over.

Finally they decided the lad was leaking a little blood from upper intestines, and it posed no real problem. Nothing worth fixing there.  And it fit with the idea that too much blood may be produced but an anemic condition still persists.  They need to fit stuff into a category in order to categorically deal with it.

Fortunately no weirdness showed up in a bone scan--still glowing from that xray.  I thought it would be cheaper to just go to my friendly local TSA.

Then they find out I am a mutant.  That is no surprise and it pleases me deep down.(if you had been my pal in college, you would see the humor and irony--inside joke I guess) They test for a mutated gene marker, JAK2, it calls itself.  Oh, that is a sure sign of polycythemia vera.  Yippee, you do not have multiple myeloma or other nasty death sentence condition.  So far.  It can go there, but maybe will not. Not any time too soon anyway.

I take a toxic pill that impedes cell production and hopefully lets me keep my hair and become more functional.  They monitor, tweak dose, etc.  But it is not like radiation and chemo or something that only a bone marrow transplant can cure.  That is what it looked like we were into.

This is not curable or wonderful, just by itself.  But in context, this is unbelievably good news.  I am so friggin thrilled, I'd probably kiss you if you were here.  Depending on what "you" is.  With a little more luck, maybe I won't have adverse reaction to this toxic pill and all will remain under control.  It very often does work out that way with this trouble.  Polycythemia vera/ and sort of essential thrombocytosis.  

I find it amazing that my body already has been getting rid of blood in a benign sort of way because that is the first step; they bleed you.  In my case there is no need.  Is that bizarre or what?  Some would call that a case of syncronicity because the forces of nature, God, angels and the like tend to treat me with special care.  I get the interesting breaks.  That is how my fortune works.

Some call it luck. Who knows.  I'm the guy who would be unlucky enough, or dumb enough, to fall off a tall building and land on a soft plant or awning, so instead of dying I'd just break a few bones.

It has been said that for an unlucky guy I am the luckiest guy around.  I think I get that.

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Ballistic Mountain, CA, United States
Like spring on a summer's day


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