Thursday, July 30, 2009

This Dimension May Be Different than That One, But It is OK

Life seems so much like some kind of a dream, especially this past year, and right now. I like Seattle better than I did last year and it's about 150F in the afternoon.
I'm really impressed with N2's house which will be undergoing renovation for a long time, but is comfortable and feels right anyway. And his girlfriend who seems absolutely perfect for him. N1 is well and in good wit and his fiance is ready for the next phase. I enjoy them all. I even had my own friend meet them as we strolled the streets looking for weeds in the yards of others, and people to mug.

What an incredibly great trip this has been, starting this past Tuesday. I think it is still rolling well.

I see that the ins company was true to their word and has mailed the check already. Now fingers are crossed that I don't have to go to the supreme court for the deductible. Sherlock Holmes would see the value of my case instantly. Maybe even Larry Curly and Moe would get it. I expect the rest of officialdom, as it applies to me to do the right thing, even if it pains them to do what's right.

These are interesting days, and I like it.

Among the Living

This idea occurred to me recently, as I was deep in the throes of buyer's remorse, even though the new car drives and handles splendidly, --the idea came to me that in spite of thinking, "why didn't I take the money and run to the first high quality disposable car?", that it was all OK and life is just that way. OK the idea I never got to was that I am living life, whereas for years I felt as if I was stuck on the river bank never able to jump in and float along. That is what I told my friend, who pretended I was making sense.


Oddly at 7 or so in the A.M. in Las Vegas, not too many loud talking cell phone quackers (the guys who talk so it sounds like they are quacking, as they try to get the edgy bass thing going and sound eastern, urbane and hostilely business-like.

Geez I look up innocently and Ms g cup straight across the way, well my god, why don't you rent advertising ? She guarantees no one will miss them by her methods of display. More effective than little ad signs on the wall.

OK. Good she is on an earlier flight and now boarding. Seriously, I am as fond of the hoo ha concept as anyone, but I think it is a little better to have a slight choice in the matter. Don't stick those babies in the faces of strangers then bitch about men not looking at your eyes. It becomes almost uncomfortable trying to look elsewhere so you don't feed the problem. Subtle people can be appreciated much more thoroughly and subtly. That's a bit of wisdom you should teach your kids. Or your parents, if they are dense.

So, I am leaving Vegas, pronounced, VAY gus. Who would have dreamed I'd be here, after a day or two cruising the strip, pronounced THE STRIP, seeing an amazing show, riding the roller coaster from Hell, and not even flying home? Yep, I'm on my way to see the wizard. Sorceress is more fitting. I won't elaborate, except I am happy as something happy, to be going. One adventure after another.

The couple of days here were great. I was with friends, and someone's birthday was involved. It was one of the more wholesome Vegas trips ever, most likely. And I have to say, I like it that way. Getting drunk, gambling and making friends with the girls on the cards nice seedy gentlemen were passing out on the sidewalk, is not my idea of a good time. Maybe when I didn't know better that could all sound like fun.

It looks to me like a drunk could lose his money in a big hurry here. Mostly, people were just like normal people. Everyone in customer service is a cut above. People seemed friendly helpful and glad to be doing the job. Must pay well.

It's a fluke, like most of my life, that I was included on this venture. No fluke that I am flying out to see Ms ?. Although I have no idea when or how the plan was formed. I woke up one day and it seemed like this was in the plans for awhile. Life has really been great since I decided to change it for the better, and realized I had the chance to hit the road west.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Did It Again

No, not wreck. I rambled on with my views about public policy. Dumb. It is to no effect, so why do I do that?

Tomorrow I'm off on an another adventure with friends, then off on yet another to see a friend. I'm attempting to protect the innocent here. In any case I will probably have better connection than I do on Ballistic Mountain, and more of note to mention, however I doubt I will, just because it may not be the thing to do, and I won't have time.

This has been a rather bizarre couple of weeks. Maybe the whole month. I have a feeling the next 6 days will go much too quickly. That is because time is not a constant. Its velocity and nature vary a great deal.

It is mostly in the last year that I realize how easily I tend to bond with certain creatures. I guess I considered myself capable of of having some sort of telepathic understanding, but usually did not get friendly with them. I was pals with the downstairs cats in Memphis but I neglected that friendship more than I should have. Times were tough. I remember when there was just one and I'd agreed to drop in to say hello now and then, I'd go down and just sit with the cat by my side, pondering my world and wondering if I'd ever get out of the rut. It seemed to help to have the counsel and advice of the cat. She mostly just asserted that all we had to fear were shadows and floor creaks. I think she was right.

Nw I regularly see a couple of little dogs and a few cats. One cat, in particular, makes it a point to spend quality time when possible. We just seem to get along. Same with the most worried of the two dogs. I'm amazed how I can just gesture and the dog knows what is OK and what is not, and she cooperates. The other dog does OK but that one is not playing with a full deck. Very cute and harmless. Much has to do with what owners expect and accept. It helps when people understand the order of priorities in life forms.

Often, given the chance, domestic animals get the pecking order better than people who think dogs and cats are people too. They are life, and seem to think, but they are not human life. They have just made the choice to sell out for security in most cases. That's why so many are neurotic. Well, the fact that they take on the emotions of the owner contributes as well.

Anyway, I have grown very fond of these creatures. I take animals like people, on an individual basis. Not all of them are good, trustworthy or likable. Some are. People who say otherwise probably have never experienced the slightest communion with any living thing. They are just nuts and want to hide their hate for mankind behind a blanket love of even psychotic animals.

There I go. All I'm saying is that I like a particular few creatures, a lot. Why did I have to editorialize? I guess so someone wouldn't trivialize it into , "yea, all dogs are great and people suck" I've been in that discussion before.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Cash for Clunker Hoax

The unbelievably outside the Constitutional intent of government program called CARS came to my attention recently. It occurred to me that this is a move to encourage the exact same behavior that supposedly led to the economic woes we are now experiencing.

Personally, I think the fact that people have been borrowing more than they should is just a partial explanation for the trouble. It is hard to just list one thing without listing the 10000 ther things that led up to it. They focussed on the housing market, but the car market has thrived on people borrowing who shouldn't for decades. The most money is made off of shakey credit people who have become convinced that if they will finance it, buying is the thing to do. Then they end up in dire straits, often showing up on the news as a victim of the Man. They'll ay whatever as long as they get financed and someone tells them they can afford the payment.

It is true that those peddling wares on time to the greedy and ignorant poor do not go out of their way to educate these eager lambs on their way to slaughter. I say "greedy poor" because that is basically what they are. The lust for more than they can afford outweighs their good sense when the goods are waved in front of them, and conventional wisdom says, "it's ok, make payments". It is an easy trap to fall into. You tend to think things will fall a certain way later on and you'll catch up. I've been there.

I've also been in the spot of wanting to remain within my means, however meager, and in need of transportation. The smart thing is to buy the cheapest beater I can find which will serve the purpose. That is the responsible thing, not financing a car when times are tough. This government program is going to hurt people who want to make that decision. The availability of cheapo used vehicles will not be what it was as people decide to take more from the government toward a new, approved vehicle.

Those who have the means and the beater will take advantage of the money, and those with the beater and just enough credit to get approved will take the money. Once again, in the name of green and helping out the common people, a sneaky, regressive hidden tax on the responsible poor is born. Anyone of modest means trying to start from scratch.

The idea of using tax money to overpay for cars they want off the road is evil. Pure and simple. Those are the cars that help the people with less money, the ones trying to get off the street, those who are determined to get out from under burdensome debt. Exactly the opposite of what is claimed.

I hope those who can will resist participating. The big picture long term result is less mobility and independence for those of minor means, which inhibits their ability to work, better their lives or go live outside the urban areas where public transportation is the alternative.

Why there is such a lack of reverence for freedom and why everything from Bin Laden to CO2 has been transformed by political alchemists rob people of that, I do not know. Probably because those who are not hurt by these things really feel better when everyone else is under control and kept close to home.

Now I've convinced myself I should have found a cheap disposable car instead of what I bought. Dumbass me. I did not finance though.

On the Road Again

Due to a series of circumstances I picked up the car today. I'm glad I know that business well enough to catch a few loose ends even when my mind is asleep. I think this will be OK. It seems faster than the other one and handles even better, if that is possible.

It will be parked in a day or two while I head off on other out of town adventures by other means of transport. Like, who cares? Just saying.

What a mess in here. All the work stuff from places where I'd been doing work, and all the stuff I had packed into the blue car. All of it in the middle of my iving room, which is also dining room, bedroom, study and kitchen.

Life is OK these days. A lot was accomplished this past week. Didn't know I had it in me. None of it would have gone so well without a lot of help from my friends.

Sly Eugenics

Consider the definition:
–noun (used with a singular verb)
the study of or belief in the possibility of improving the qualities of the human species or a human population, esp. by such means as discouraging reproduction by persons having genetic defects or presumed to have inheritable undesirable traits (negative eugenics) or encouraging reproduction by persons presumed to have inheritable desirable traits (positive eugenics).

Now, if you substitute "beliefs" for "genetic defects" and usefulness for "undesirable traits", we arrive at a meaning very close to today's trends.

For example, Obama stated the he isw offering "the American people" a health care plan "LARGELY" on a par with what he and Congress have. There are more sick implications to that statement than I can address. The most glaring is the idea that they are they, and the rest of the nobodies constitute the American people. In a way that is a relief. I'd hate to think that American people by and large were so lacking in conscience and integrity. But what is the deal with this separation? We are being controlled by people who consider themselves something other than American people?

What is "broke", to quote the mfwics, is the law and the government, not the health care system per se. Had not slimy, yet smart people figured out how to twist legality into huge lawsuits, a la John Edwards, based on junk science or merely class envy, some of the problem would be gone. There are many other factors, very few not generated by the same body that now pretends they'll make it better.

Who has lived such a short time that they haven't witnessed a decrease in individual freedom, and a corresponding increase in instances of politicians claiming there is no choice but for them to step in and fix things not really covered constitutionally? The result is then a worse problem at best, or several more, typically.

This same pattern is obvious when you look at the misuse of our military for purposes not defensive or even productive. They figured out how to never stop having war, and how to never quite lose, and never quite win. That is because, no matter how die hard a person is, he doesn't truly know why we are there, wherever we are. Angrily shouting that they fight so we can be free, may have validity from the standpoint that this is what most American soldiers want, and hope. Those sending them spout off about spreading democracy. Yet they enrich dictators and lunatics daily. Besides, why are we spreading democracy? Unchecked by extreme constitutional limits democracy is death to liberty. We are a democratic republic which was supposed to be under wraps as far as its involvement in private life.

The helth care costs may suck, and there are reasons which do not so much fall on private business, except when they are willing to be on the government dole in one form or another.

This initiative is not to make care more accessible to all. It is an effort to control the care, how it is given, and to whom. That brings me to the police situation.

Recently a guy who must be thrilled to have his day in the sun, was in a confrontation which resulted in arrest, and dropped charges. I wasn't there. Obama wasn't there. Neither of us can reasonably render judgement on the matter. However the sensationalized version we are hearing with the question being asked, "What does this say about race relations in America?" What is says is nothing. Reverse races---no issue. I had as much call to raise hell as that guy, but I'm one of the "American people", a nobody.

The real problem this highlights is the fact that some time ago the tone, training, and dirctives controlling police work moved from protect and serve to control the masses. I doubt this had squat to do with race and everything to do with someone not being under control. The thing is, people don't always have to be under control. Are others being threatened? Then hell with it, walk away. So what if you don't get the respect you feel you desrve. Next time a burglary is reported at that address, send Al Sharpton. Or no one.

Like I said, I wasn't there. I might have just shot the guy if I'd been that cop, or I might have yelled and talked trash like the Harvard demagogue. I don't know. I do know that minorities often think that whites are treated nice by police and that they trust them and aren't bothered. I had that discussion with a couple of Mexican women yesterday. I can tell you, that is simply not true.

What is true, from my observation, and I think it makes sense, is that besides being of a metal fix to control people, police don't tend to want to bother people with power. It so happens a lot of powerful people are white. There are a lot of them in this country, white people. Police will more likely abuse someone they think can't sue them successfully and who has no connections which might pose a threat to the job or promotion. Not all cops are bullies, but that trade attracts more than its share.

If the laws were not so plentiful and so many of them unnecessary, and the goal was to protect rather than control, there would be a different mindset instilled in Johnny Law, and you'd have fewer of these issues. But then they'd have to seriously deal with gangs and others who bother normal people. That is not being done, no matter what they say. It's much easier to go write tickets because someone did not turn the wheels to curb, or to collar a guy for growing pot. There are many ways to solve certain problems, like drunk driving for example. It is no coincidence that the favorite one is to stop everyone at a roadblock then require them to prove their innocence. Why not just hit the bar parking lots?

I know, there are many people who find no issue with the jackboot tactic of a roadblock requiring you to show credentials. I don't even drink, so I have nothing to hide. But what if I look at some cop wrong or don't show enough obeisance? Scary struff. We are headed to Stalin and Hitler's dream state, through the back door, and a lot of smart people are encouraging it.

Being smart is not a virtue unless it is used to good purpose. Controlling and stealing from others is not good. I've heard the argument against the views which goes, "So what do you suggest--just let everyone run amok?"

Just because I don't believe in punishing the good people because there are bad or irresponsible people does not mean I support the activities of the damned. Just because you can't think of a better way doesn't mean I can't, or that there is no better way. ============

So today was a highly productive day and I kept out of trouble. Forgive me though, for I fear I may have had an impure thought or two. Mostly I had pure positive thoughts and felt grateful. The former thinking was more a would be grateful if sort of thing.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Tour mobile #2 soon

Who would have thought I'd ever be one to get hooked on the environmental earth worshipper, metrosexual, save the seals, sensitive dyke car of choice? That's rhetorical. Certainly not me, at any rate.

Well I am hooked. I'm as fond of subaru as I was of datsun before they became nissan.

Anyway, I looked at exactly one car, and made the deal. Last time I made the deal, then drove the 200+ miles and looked at ther car, then took it home. Not to say I didn't search around first. I just rarely go look unless I seriously think I might buy.

It is not in hand yet, although I did put deposit and agree to price. Until it is in hand I won't go much farther describing. It is not that almost purple blue, which at first seemed too something but then grew on me. I will say that. I almost wish it was that bluish purple color. I attach so much in the way of positive emotion to the times when that car was in the picture that the color now makes me feel good.

There are still things to be ironed out with ins. The major part has been settled. The rest will be settled soon enough, and I hope it goes properly. Proving innocence requires that people be honest and capable of logic and in this case a small amount of experience and understanding of cause and effect would help.

Remind me never to say a bad word about guitar players ever again. Without the advice support and expertise of friends and my guitar player, I'd not have done nearly as well and would not even have known where to start, as far as asserting my rights and attempting to keep things fair.

Say what you want about California. My old and new friends here are like the kind of people you'd hope to find in Heaven. Truly unbelievable. There are a lot of times when people surprise you out here. Just like everywhere there are wonderful people here and there, it just seems I've run into a disproportionate number of souls who are so kind it humbles me.

I'm relieved that the lizard finally stepped up to the plate enough that I could justify settling. Not that little character's first inclination, I can tell you.

Only thing is now I've committed to not going back east, so I will become one of the few US citizens actually moving TO California. Always swimming against the current. I hope getting the CA license is not too tricky. From the looks of things, it is like most states; ability to drive is not a prerequisite for getting a license to drive.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

More Airboat Bob

Not sure where lost episodes have gone. If you know, please advise. Thank you.

This is better than detailing the saga of trying to prove innocence (hence save cost of deductible), insist on fair value so I can replace my beloved, late tour vehicle, and make it understood I am just now becoming a full fledged west coaster with no toe left back in Memphis. I have good fortune in that my guitar player is thick in that biz so he can guide me. Also I have friends who won't wear out for another day or two on this drama. It has to be very boring: "oh they said this and that's wrong. I was in vehicle A and B was where it shouldn't be and poor me, blablabla". No one can take too much of that.

OK. Now I'll put what I can for this installment of the airboat series. I'd fill in the blanks about characters and what little plot there was but I don't remember the details. The story and people must not have been too interesting if the creator of them forgets. Maybe an extrapolation of that syndrome is what gave rise to the God is dead movement. More plausible would be the assertion that God is bored. If everyone were me then he would be so glazed over snoozing he might as well be gone.

That is not to say I actually anthropomorphize God or think it is a He. I only think that if there are a bunch of them, then the one we usually claim to know is the mac daddy. I know what I'd do if I held that position in the scheme of things with a bunch of Aphrodite and such floating around. And you could shape shift etc. Yippee.

This pic is not animated

This one is animated. **It should be noted that, as far as I know there are no beaver in the Glades, however I have seen an otter or two in the canal off of Loop Road. I guess it is OK since this is fiction. Of course it is based on real people and a true story--if you'd like it to be...
It looks like text but it changes in awhile

I'm pretty sure a missing episode goes here.

Then Airboat Bob and Swamp Buggy Sue are on their way to the little keg party over at Naked Nancy's. Naked Guitar Player is well settled in now. It all happened in a day, probably.

I'll just give the rest of what I have.

Last time I saw Airboat Bob, he was in the parking lot of this place outside Memphis somewhere.

The End

*****lots of typos in that series. I knew it then and I know it now. A tedious process, and I never got around to changing the errors.



The Real Airboat Bob very first episode

After this then go down to the post below the post below this, then back up to the post above that and under this one.
It appears there may be lost episodes, but there are pictures that clue what they may have been about, like intro to Swamp Buggy Sue whose name is actually Maria. I'm not quite sure how that worked.

S.B.Sue was quite the mechanic, and engineer. Her buggy was a high powered war wagon

Airboat Bob, continued

We're going from bottom up on the page, as the first scene is in another post (in case you wonder where the beginning is). I hope I have all of them. I know I can find a few. It isn't as if there will be a test, or a Nobel prize for this. Although I still want a nobel prize for something. The peace prize is easiest; no knowledge or even peace making necessary. Just be hip in the world of lunatic megalomaniacs.

!!!!Note: all the following are animations, but they are timed to sit there awhile before frames change. So, that's how it works.
this group of three is in order

*Bi, as in Bi-Plane, for the aeronautically challenged

*****WARNING***Following is sophomoric and in poor taste, sort of...

more to come soon.


Tuesday, July 21, 2009

In Honor of Doug (voice inside my eye) Airboat Bob Re-runs

First episode

To clarify, Doug is a fine musician songwriter who wrote the classic tune, Angsty Lamer Blues, which was my theme song upon departing Memphis. He wrote it over a year prior to that, recorded it and sent it to me to put some harmonica accents in.

The name derived from one of my hateful commenters, the day I jumped to number 1 at JS due to that digg thing, which I now avoid because I grew to dislike digg. Not knowing what it was I figured OK, digg this, then wrote a rambling piece entitled something along the lines of, Che Guevarra was a spoiled rich sociopath" (which he was). Not only was my own eyewitness account of a few hours in Havana, post Castro, derided, but my very right to feel. I was called an angsty lamer. I guess people get furious if you suggest losing the T shirt. Anyway, love him or hate him, he makes a hell of a T shirt marketing gimmick. And his fictitious legacy lives on.

OK, so we really liked that tag, angsty lamer. Doug, aka voice inside my eye wrote a brilliant ballad which reflected my frustration at the time.
Here's the logo I made for the angsty lamers. For netmale actually. Not sure he took to it. I like it. If I learn to play guitar naked, this will become my logo.

angsty lamer here for classic tune

I realize now that my leaving Memphis video had the first raw soundtrack before we sent the tune back and forth with the harp and such. Above is the final version of the song. Don't know how to embed it here..

I'll work the other parts of airboat bob series in as the days go on. You'll see Doug appear. Actually that may be him in upper left of second gif. Got to wait and you'll see the animation. More in first than second.

What Email is Youtube sending my password to?

Dammitttt. I can't get into my swtupid youtube account. I know, typos
Anyway I wouldn't mind except some of those are hidden and it served as a repository for video that I hid when angry at myself. and other reasons.

I think the tourmobile is history. We'll get the official word tomorrow, but a guy who assesses such things for another carrier looked it over and shook his head, hand over heart.

Dear TourMobile,
I loved you like a good wife. You were the best ever.
Remember the pit stops we made at 70 MPH? Sorry about the blow back when I tried to empty the cup out the window. You were a good sport. I hope to find you reincarnated as a clone of yourself. I'll seek out your twin. I know you would have wanted it that way.
Thanks for all the times you took over the driving and navigating when I hopped into the back seat for a nap. You got me out of Memphis and showed me the USA from the Florida Keys to Seattle.

OK. I may have grown a bit too attached.

Sorry I didn't provide female passengers much, but at the end, if a dame had been beside me, she probably would not have survived.

It just goes to show you, don't be so sure you really know what is best for you at all times. I trust that things will work out for the best.

I have to say, at that moment I was grateful to be alone. Not that I think it is the ticket in the future, just that one second in time.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Different Phases

I'm in the angry, want to beat up somone--preferably Paunch and Bubba and Ca Hwy Patrol nazis--mood. I hate the fact that I cannot control the pace at which time moves and my insurance company moves. I have yet to discover where the A team for this company is hiding. LaToya the adjuster appears to speak no language. Actually, she is pleasant and speaks well, but gets nothing done. We'll work it out on Monday.

Maybe I'll outgrow this rage phase. It's grief. I was as attached to my car as I would be to a person. That's sick. It is or was a thing. I'm unsure if it is total loss or not. I think it is right on the edge and could go either way.

Maybe I'll go out of town soon and all will be well. All is probably already well.

We played at a private thing which was all bands and musicians. The local music magazine people and other semi-connected people were there. I only piissed off one guy, another harp player. Harmonica players are pretty flaky, on average. They do not play well with others, if the others are harp players. I'm different of course. But the average harp player is cantanlerous and dimwitted. Maybe alll musicians are. Here I am around guitar players that don't piss me off. That is a first. They were dieased in Memphis, and in NC, to a large extent, but here most so far seem free of the guitar man disease. Here, it's the harp players. Fortunately, I've not run into very many. One guy yesterday was a good player. He did not seem to like me very much. Seemed to annoy him too no end. I must have played a decent set.

Some of the acts were first rate, world class. I was surprised and blown away a time or two.

It must be phase shift time. That is hoow it feels; just moving throug pphases, like phases of the moon--and I mean that in every sense oof the word, and/or phrase.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Another Good Day, in the grand scheme of things

Well, today was far different than yesterday. I drove to north county to do a favor. That went well enough. I dislike north county though.

Anyway, I was back nearer to home when the journey came to an end, at the end of a flat bed trailer that was sticking out in the road in the dark, stopped. The guy pulled his truck in this place leaving the back in the road, and got out. Under the circumstances you just could not see it until after it took out the passenger side, all the way down the side of the vehicle.

Maybe the tour mobile will live to tour again. The jury is out on that. At least the incident motivated the trucker to move it the rest of the way off the road. It could have killed a biker or passenger in a smaller car. I think I have the glass out of my hair now.

What an odd turn of events.

I had friends willing to come in the middle of the night and help me through the drama. Imagine that. They took me to their home. Of course we had planned to move a large object in the morning anyway so it works out from that end. But the idea that I not only had someone to call, but I could have called others as well, is amazing. Not sure the others would have been as able to come, and their reception is spotty, but still, I could have tried. The point is, people were willing to help and it was at a highly inconvenient time and a long way off. I think that is worth noting.

The other big picture aspect of the deal is that I am insured, even though the deductible is almost 2 months rent. And the nature of the hazard was such that it could have killed someone, possibly me. It sucks, and I was/am very fond of that vehicle. Mobility is something I value highly. But, it looks like we shall resolve it one way or another and I hope to be safely mobile again soon. Glad I have some rental coverage, even if it is somewhat limited.

Life is a dangerous and often costly hobby.

It would be stupid and bratty to be too wound up. It does kind of bother me that I can't think of anything I could have done to avoid it, considering all the factors involved. I was being alert and was paying attention. Thank God a pedestrian wasn't there instead of the truck. You can only see so much at night. Usually I can rely on intuition. All I knew was something wasn't right over there, bam. Too late now.

What a shame I had to ruin someone's sleep to come get me. That was pretty nice.

I can't figure out the cops, though. Very hostile and not at all helpful or considerate. I was beginning to feel like Rodney King.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

The Sometimes Daily Job

Often in the past I've emphatically pontificated about how the daily job is over rated, and a hindrance to exploring the riches life has to offer.

It is much to my chagrin (whatever that is) that I now must say that the daily (in my case somewhat daily) job can be a surprising enhancement to the enjoyment of being alive. Of course it helps that I am trusted to report fairly my hours, expenses, and thoughts on what needs doing. I never charge for my daydreaming time, lunch or general dawdling. Being left alone to do whatever I do is worth a lot to me. I'm sort of my own business, but I avoid having employees, inventory, or much else that you get punished for having. It makes me feel very American somehow. There's a need and I can fill it, and a fair trade is accomplished. The market at its best, on a small scale.

That is not to say that I don't have several ideas cooking which could potentially increase my wealth to the point that it would rightly be called wealth. However, I paid rent today and that is always a thrill to me. Paid up, owe nothing. My needs are fairly simple.

I'm writing this down as a hedge against hard times. I've been around the block long enough to know that in the worst of times I find it hard to recall how the good times felt, or even that they were good. So I am stating for the record that today was good and I felt free, hopeful and happy. My worth was acknowledged more than once, without me expecting anything. Work was rewarding, and the perks were bizarre but innocent enough. Don't wind up the mind too much. I was merely given the OK to enjoy some of the niceties of the place, in my own way. Sure wish you'd been there. Hahaha. You probably think I mean you.

It is worthwhile to note that I forced myself to eat breakfast before I left this morning. I think I do better when I have morning food.

Possibly, I thrive on the affection and approval of friends. I would say respected friends, but no one out here pretends to be my friend without mutual respect being an obvious component. Well, no one pretends it. Friends are friends. I've been lucky this year. That goes for those I'm still in touch with as well.

A year ago I was somewhere in CO, Wyoming or Montana. Probably Colorado. I was on my way to northeast Montana. At that time I thought I had a place sewn up in San Diego, but that fell through a couple of weeks later. I think it worked for the best. I'd barely decided that I would stick in this area until further notice. I can already tell I can't be too far away, and certainly not for any length of time. For now I'm holding fast. I get spoiled by the weather and lack of mildew and bugs.

It's a good start and if it never becomes more complete, it is not so bad. Maybe that is the benefit of seeing Hell, it makes it easier to pay attention to the good stuff, and have sense enough to appreciate it. It still chokes me up when I take stock of now and hold it up against then.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Notes to Self, mostly

I'm in a good mood and wanted to write it down. That compulsion to write whether I have anything to say, anyone who cares to read it, or not. My cross to bear.

I'm continuing to try to not let the state of the union bother me. The only thing that is likely to have an impact is that plan to fine you if you don't get insurance. Those who compare health insurance to auto insurance are victims of faulty logic. The two are not analogous. My appendectomy is not going to land you or your car in the body shop or morgue. One simple fact is that you do not know what works in the lives of others or how they might best serve their own needs, beliefs and desires, so assuming you know best how they ought to handle life's details is arrogant and annoying.

It is beautiful, if a little warm out here on the far out coast. More warm in the east county than by the sea. Despite all, today I sense that opportunity abounds if one has the nerve and energy to chase it.

Most likely these things come in cycles; one day you feel showered with love and acceptance, the next it may seem like you are completely out of phase with all living things and that they probably don't like you because of it. I've rarely felt like such a magnet for the kind of people and interaction I want like I do out here. I've been fortunate and I find it hard to imagine not making that decision to go west. It amazes me even yet how this adventure has progressed. I wonder if my secret plan is going to unfold as I am beginning to imagine, and hope. I'd say it may be possible.

Been playing a little music with my friends and I think we are going to expand the scope a bit. Saturday we will join about 100 other musicians for a private party of non stop music and maybe some jamming. That could be very interesting. I better practice while driving to and from my work at Barry world. You can practice blues harp on the road with good results. It is far less distracting than talking on the phone. Texting, forget it.

It still bothers me that certain inventions and developments need doing and could improve lives. I got to get one of those things in the works, even if I'm not quite sure of the end product. I know the parameters some of these things should meet, and that serves as the guide when refining designs or creating the process. It just takes believing yourself, trusting your mind and instincts. Easier said than done but lots of fun when you do it and find your idea was valid.

There was a roll of carpet on The whatever highway. Maybe an alert motorist scarfed it up and has it listed on craigslist or ebay.
Not much else of interest lately on the roads. There have been a few couches and some wheels and tires. None or items I need at the moment. I'm convinced that you could make a living cruising the roads picking up things that get dropped. I still wonder why so many people don't get the correlation between securing cargo in the truck and having it arrive at its final destination. I see plenty of truck loads of things that look ready to fall off. Must be a local fear of rope or tie down straps. Kinky as they reportedly are, you'd think tying things up would be their specialty.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Time and Space Discontinuum

On the way home from the place I'll call "Bosco's", to protect myself--the only innocent in this scenario, a very disconcerting thing happened.

I always take the same way home because I like the roads and it is less traffic. P- road to THE 67, turn right. OK. So I'm on Poway winding up into the hills. I remember moving into the right lane as soon as the road became multi lane. That happens shortly before the light. It is a T intersection so you go right or left.

By then it was becoming dark enough that even the dimwitted had their headlights on. OK. So, I remember that lane change into right lane. The next thing I know I am driving through country that does not look familiar, although I had the sense of going the right direction. I guess any direction in which front of car precedes rear would have felt right.

I had absolutely no memory of the drive between the lane change and that point. I'm getting nervous but figure I'll find out where I am soon enough. I still had hope I was on the right road and didn't know it.

It was looking less and less familiar all the time. Then I noticed the peaks to my left had a pink cast, yet those to my right were dark. That meant I must be going north instead of south. Then I passed the Beau Weevil restaurant and I knew I was not on my usual route.

I turned around at a place which would allow me to see the road sign so I could see if it was 67 or not. To my relief, it was. As it turns out I was about seven miles from the intersection where I last remembered being conscious of myself. That means about five miles before I had any awareness at all.

The thing is, I don't recall being lost in thought. One second I'm here, the next I am there. I'm not too sure about the time difference. It seems like it was more than the ten minutes I'd allow for that travel. No need to analyze that too much. The rest of it is freaky enough.

If I had been drinking I'd expect to start out toward one destination and end up another. No drink and no drugs. What is going on? Am I doomed? Have I been abducted? Did I jump dimensions?
Most importantly, can this somehow be turned into cash? Is there any money in it?

I'm used to times of distraction in which I end up miles down the road without thinking about it. But not just having several minutes of film cut out, and making a totally wrong and uncharacteristic turn such as this.

Moon over Alpine

It was a little warm inside tonight. So I wandered out on the deck to cool off. Then the real moon rose so I had to become civilized. Really, I didn't have to, but just in case some border jumpers were crawling down the mountain I felt it would be best.

At least it isn't like the naked Buddhist place, with a bidet on the deck, next to a toilet. I still find that somewhat over the top. However, if I can't make sense of life otherwise, that's where I'll go to drop out altogether. Fortunately, I have a long way to go before that happens. As long as I can picture that scenario and immediately feel the response in my mind, "no, I think not", I know I'm on this side of the line.

One thing that I find I crave out here, which was not available in other places I've lived, is altitude. If all else fails I just cruise over to the 6000ft overlook. It is not a lot, but it is over 5000ft. I find I feel better above that point. O2 deprevation or whatever, it cheers me up and I find it easier to regain a shred of optimism. I also find it easier to remember various ideas and things that might provide that passion I'm after.

I live at almost 3000 ft. It's easier to play music at sea level. This is a good practice elevation, no doubt. If only I practiced.

Insomnia lets up now and then, usually about the time I ought to wake up. Enough to drive a guy to sniffing glue. Instead I am trying melatonin and some stuff called Alluna. Rather than use one or the other, I think the combo works best. Of course it is an all natural, blablabla solution, so not doubt it won't work that well.

Being down on all the earth, animal, and greenhouse friendly solutions makes me sound like those people who ignore all consequences of actions. I'm not like that. I've just found very few of those alternatives that are worth anything. My favorite solvent of all time is MEK, methyl ethyl keytone. Maybe it is earth friendly and good for animals and I just don't know it.

Alcohol is my second favorite and everyone loves that. But for fuel you really can't beat petroleum products. They move you further down the road per unit used.

Just talking nonsense because I don't want to quit writing altogether. It should be an easy life. hell with it. It's progress and that is better than regress(?), or something.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Talking Trash

Another bout of wondering and thinking. TV shows used to use the formula that people had to lie to their friends big time about trivial things. It was always in the name of friendship, somehow, and hijinx ensued. I was always worried my friends would be like that. Growing up they were, to put it politely. I was most likely less vulnerable than most.

In Miami, in my neighborhood, the parents and kids, alike, were the most back biting, talk about you behind your back, lying group of people I've ever seen, other than the Memphis workforce at Fawlty Airways. That covers a lot of territory. It also leads me to believe I'd not quite learned that lesson so I attracted some version of it to myself after several years. Back in the hood the number of cheating wives and husbands was astounding. And most of them were keeping it right their in the neighborhood. Then they'd have the cocktail hour and all pretend to be friends. I didn't get the kids or the parents. To my credit I was rarely the one singled out for the trash because I had a rep for being crazy and fearless as a young child. It helped in a way. Looking back, I have little respect for that dysfunctional community.

Things I've observed lately made me wonder if people still think it is impossible to confront friends about things rather than deceive. There are those times when letting it go without mention is the best course, and there are times when you should say what's on your mind--to the person involved, not everyone else when that person is absent.

Anyway, when it is mean and manipulative, trash talking is bad news.

That being said, I'm going to trash the animal kingdom behind its uncaring back. It occurred to me, as I was pondering the planet, environmental and humanitarian issues that; A--herbivores are gross offenders when it comes to disregard for the environment, and B---carnivores are the big offenders when it comes to animal rights and ethical treatment of other creatures.

In the first case I give you elephants and locusts as two good examples. I don't know what beavers eat but they could care less if they screw up the water supply for someone else. Elephants trash the damned place. I saw it on TV. If locusts were held accountable, they'd be planting trees from now to eternity and still go to hell.

Now, think about the poor little furry creatures who are mercilessly slaughtered, and for what? A meal. Tigers, coyotes, all those evil doers are so selfish that they never consider they may be eating someone's mother. This behavior goes on every day.

None are held accountable. I think that should change. After all, we're all in this together. I heard that on the radio, in one of those obnoxious Ad Council public service propaganda pieces. So I know it is so.

As a friend pointed out, it may be that the only responsible carnivores are vultures. They clean up the mess. But I wonder what they'd do if the rest of us just got along. Messes would be few and far between. Maybe we could work something out. Few animals live forever, and many don't care about being buried or cremated.

I'm trying to resist comment on current events. I think I'll let it rest for now. You either get it or you don't. I'm stunned at the whole thing. What a con. Too bad the sane players have long ago exited or been untruthfully and unfairly smeared as kooks. Maybe it will not make any difference. Understanding the principle behind a thing has become an extremely rare art, and caring about the principles involved is way out of fashion, if not almost illegal.

Re-sealable package review:
Red Devil, TCP90, a trisodium phosphate substitute that claims to be wonderful for the friggin earth. It sort of works, so I won't say it is just another green product that is more placebo than anything else, although the jury is actually still out.
The resealable feature is another story.

The bag was not trashed in any way. I work neat. Reseal? Hardly. They should have just taped one of those chip bag clips or a clothes pin to the package. No blue and yellow makes green here. It doesn't work. That is all there is to it. If I were a lawyer I guess I'd be plotting a class action suit.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

New Theory

If you find that you always feel like a fish out of water, avoid the desert. Go to the water. Then you may discover you are a fish in water. If that doesn't work, perhaps the identity should be reconsidered. You may not be a fish.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Cycles and Phases, reacting to nothing, and something

Ever notice how one minute you can do no wrong and you are treated like a king wherever you go, and the next everywhere you turn you see big signs that say, "YOU SUCK"? Well, I have.

It's the strangest thing. Plenty of it has got to be a manifestation created by my mind. It rarely seems that way at the time. Experience has taught me I have no clue what is really going on, especially when I am sure everyone in the world has suddenly decided I'm no good. That helps because I figure, when my mind is sharp enough, that the best thing to do is be silent and expect nothing.

I've heard that bit about how you should have no expectations, but that is impossible. Reducing them to a degree is useful but it would be stupid not to expect that water or your beverage of choice will quench your thirst. With no expectations what's the fuel for those hallucinations the guy stranded in the desert enjoys? No, you have to have some expectation. I expect gravity to be there. That's why I situate my chair with the legs on the floor and the horizontal flat part such that it is unobstructed above so as to accommodate my lazy ass.

OK. Another tangent. Happens a lot. Anyway, sometimes the world smiles with you, other times it takes stock of you and lets you know the truth, which seems like a sneering response to your every move. I think I know the best response.

Pretend life is smiling on you even when it doesn't seem like it. I'm talking to me here. More than likely you are better able to know true from false when it comes to such things. I'm better to err on the side that keep the spirits up. I don't have the stomach to be a proper pessimist. Besides, I've found things go better if I allow for that possibility to the point of slight expectation. It pays to be daunted if they don't go as desired.

You probably think this is just my way of saying I didn't win tickets to the funeral. No. I'm just thinking and I saw something that hit me in the way things do that make you yell F' You at the page. Had nothing to do with me, for cryin out loud. And there was something else I forgot. Anyway it was enough to momentarily leave me miffed, and ready to fight. Of course, I am only ready to fight when I think I could win, or when there is no chance it'll happen. Talk is cheap, and I'm all about cheap when it comes to things like that.

Another interesting thing is how possibilities and opportunities, and faith that I could latch on to one of them, increases in inverse proportion to my intake of news and media extravaganzas.

Monday, July 6, 2009

People and Such

The Fourth weekend was nicer than most of those in years past. Holidays are good landmarks for comparing the now to the then. I logged plenty of miles on The 8, I can tell you that. We had good things to do in SD then more good stuff on Balistic Mountain.

My bandmates had a little party with lots of food, and all of it good. I'm told the meat was excellent as well. One advantage of being a single man at this age is that everyone, especially, but not exclusively, the wives want to be sure you don't starve. My freezer and the rest of the refrigerator is loaded with tasty left overs. Most of it the type that is as good or better reheated. It warms the heart to have such kindness shown. People I have encountered in this part of CA are something special. It has been suggested that I am attracting this sort of person in my life now. There may be some truth to that.

I was reading some lyrics and short things I'd written several years ago. My outlook has changed considerably. This is good. I'm still just as rebellious but other aspects have undergone some smoothing out.

It was a lot fun playing at that party. As usual I was more nervous because of the small crowd than I would be in a large place playing for strangers. Every time it started to mess with me I mentally put things in perspective; "they don't care, they just want to enjoy, so try to do the same, you self centered nincompoop". So, I had fun.

The remarkable thing about the two guitar players is that they are always in tune. I think the one may have perfect pitch. The other is close. He subtly checks to see if he's in tune with K. I hardly ever see K fiddling with it. He's real quick getting a string to pitch. That's a rare gift. I've played with some really good players but few who have his ear.

That is another puzzle; ho do I land in those circumstances? I know very little and don't really do anything much. Must be that I try to play with passion and not step on the others. Not much else I can do. That's how it has always been.

OK. I'm trying one of those hyped up natural sleep aids. Extract of this or that. Maybe I'll take melatonin, too.

Insomnia is for people who like to get no sleep at night. It is making me crazy.

Friday, July 3, 2009

One of These Days, I'll Jump

People sometimes respond with disapproval when I mention my desire to learn hang gliding. I think the latest in that art is more like parasail. I haven't researched it much lately; that activity is not yet in the budget. I also would like an ultra light.

It is probably dangerous, but not as dangerous as driving or walking through many neighborhoods, right here in SoCal, and for sure in Memphis. Unlike strolling through gang country, if I bought the farm riding a kite, I'd be doing something that appeals to me.

The firefighters up at Mt Laguna were checking out this place I sometimes go. Some sort of fire abatement scouting I suppose. The place I like is a launch spot. The firemen told me only real experts fly off there. The number of memorial plaques embedded in the boulders is testament to that.

Those guys compete for distance and some have made it a very long way, like a hundred or so miles I think. They told me that these fliers carry a radio of some kind so people will know where to pick them up. I can see how this particular place would be ideal yet very treacherous. It has an expansive view of other mountains in the range and a very large open valley below.

Maybe if I find myself in more robust financial repair, I'll go where beginners learn and work my way up. I doubt a good rig is cheap. I'm kind of certain that if I had the gear, I'd go find a hill and jump regardless of prior instruction. I understand a little about flight and aerodynamics. And I watched the The Right Stuff, and that Wright Brothers movie. What more do you need?

Independence Day

No matter how it gets spun, once those guys signed the Declaration of Independence, it was on. They even included the word "honor" in their pledge. Sacred honor. I think the concept was more in vogue then than now.

I've seen accounts of what happened to those guys and it seems most lost everything they pledged, except their honor. I'm not of the school that thinks these were just rich guys getting richer. There are people who will forego fortune for honor and passion for a principle.

Like now, some were still a little more willing to restrict freedom than others. Those on the left of that day did not win. My version of left and right, since the published version is nonsense, would be left equals oppressive large government, and right equals minimal authority of the state. Today the right would rob certain rights and intrude in certain areas, while the left will steal and usurp what's left, and a good bit of what the right would take. Phonies, all. Misguided. The followers of these camps may be well meaning but I believe the movers and shakers of both are somewhat sinister.

The idea that the right to life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness is natural law, and not privilege granted to people by other people was not widely embraced by the world back then. I guess we've come full circle. Having such rights is not the same as being ensured success by the state. You can't have basic human rights if others enforce their view of lifestyle and private enterprise at the point of a gun.

The cool thing about having the document in its original form is that no one can dispute that it existed as written. They may find ways to misinterpret and all that, but anyone who cares can read and think for himself or herself. The absence of the universal pronoun and possessive, etc is still a pc move I lament.

If one were to write this afresh today, Homeland security would add that infidel to their ever growing list of domestic dissidents, which they often tag as potential terrorists or security threats.

"Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.

Another spiffy excerpt:
He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.
They said it, I didn't. And I mention no names.

The amazing thing is that they actually pulled it off. Many paid the price of incredible hardship, torture, death, loss of family, etc. This was a gutsy and bold move. By all rights they should have lost. But no.

Freedom is natural. The rest is unwarranted. That's all I'm saying. Maybe I'm somewhat rebellious by nature. Often, authority I've encountered was wielded by dogmatic morons.

So, have a good 4th, and for old times sake, just let your neighbor live as he/she chooses, and live your own life. Even if the miscreant dares ride down the road without a helmet or seatbelt, with a gay partner, eating food made from transfat; even if your neighbor is a Christian. It works both ways, and then some.

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Ballistic Mountain, CA, United States
Like spring on a summer's day


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