Wednesday, April 19, 2017

A Long Lost Friend, Gone for the Duration

My friend, Pat, from back in when I last lived in Miami kicked the damned bucket.  I only found out because I had an impulse to, once again, see if I could find him from online search.  That search had been futile in the past.

This time the search pulled up his obituary.   It went into very little detail.  At least survivors were listed. It said he died in a particular hospital in GA., but did not give cause or illness.  Nothing.  Very strange.  No idea when they moved to Georgia.

He was a real estate broker turned lawn maintenance entrepreneur in the late 80's, early 90's.  My first full time job after quitting drinking.  One of my favorite of all time.  We did a lot of large condo complexes and such.  He would always vary where we started and such until he hit the optimal plan, often cutting a day, or half a day off the 2 or 3 day job.  It did not seem like it would make a difference, but it did.

I only left that job because I was getting migraines and couldn't handle the sun.  And I kind of felt under-employed when I considered how others must view me.  (One or more girlfriends looked down on it, I could tell--always ignore snobby chicks or status fools) In reality I thoroughly enjoyed the hard work, being in shape, and Pat's ever present humor and wisdom.  The kindness and friendship he showed were big influences on my life at that time.

It never ceases to amaze me how slow I am to catch on to things with people.  Anyway, you would have had to be there to see how he ran things differently from any lawn operation I'd seen.  We were like the Florida A & M Rattlers band and the competition was like a normal high school marching band.

I had no idea running a weed eater could be such an art, and that you could literally run with it once you became good.  I had no idea of any of it.  I thought I was in fair shape the first day.  I was addressing some kind of block long hedge in a sidewalk.  Either I was to use the weed whacker to shape the hedge or to edge, or both--don't recall.  I remember him laughing at my first efforts, showing me how you do it.  How he discovered this is beyond me.  I was heavily winded all day.  Soon, I was an ace, not winded, but always drenched in sweat. Miami.

He got out of the real estate brokering for a developer gig because he'd burned out, and likely alcohol didn't help.  He enjoyed the lawn business, especially getting commercial accounts.  And in Miami he said it was like shooting fish in a barrel.  I never tried that but I hear it is easy.

I remember him saying, as we were hanging out at place where you achieve and maintain sobriety, if you can, "You know anyone looking for a job?".  I said I was.  He couldn't believe I would do such work.  He had no idea how lost and frazzled I was, I guess.  Anyway, he really did like my contribution to the success of his company.

I'm sure he had little idea how much I admired him.  I do think his wife considered anyone from the getting sober world a bit below her.  She also seemed to think the landscape biz was below her too.  I get it.  Especially in Miami I always felt that kind of attitude; ridiculing and status bullying.   But Pat seemed to love it.  In the few cases where we did residences, Pat spent more time with his ubiquituous cup of coffee and cigarette, schmoozing the owners, than he did working.  But our job was to make him and his business look good.  It turns out most of the residential clients had bought their houses from him.

As much as I try to pretend I would never be ashamed of honest work, I often felt I was hitting rock bottom and was somehow sabotaging myself into humiliation of under employment, and blablabla.  Nonsense though it is, I used that to torture my mind I guess.  Pat was a good lesson.  He had a nice house, boat, family, cold though his wife seemed, stability.  Never have I had that for any length of time.  He was only a few years older than I am.   Maybe lung cancer, or melanoma from the Miami sun, got him.

Another of those amazing teachers in life, gone.  I lost contact long ago, and tried now and then to reconnect.  Of course, it has often been tough for others to find me.  Odd, since I am all over the danged interweaving.

You had it more together than I realized.  It has taken me a lifetime to even begin to get what is really important.   Thank you, friend, for all of it.   You were the real deal.

dear joel, re-read, there will be a reading comprehension test---fail it again and you'll have to repeat a grade

Saturday, April 8, 2017

Well, it's five six seven eight, open up the Pearly Gates..

Here we go again, in so many ways.  Syria, schmyria, that is what I say.  But not when I am in Syria.   Or even when confined in a room with Syrians.  Could happen.

I am almost sure the bombing was the wrong thing to do.  I base that purely upon the favorable press the move garnered from both repub and demos.  If they agree, then it is probably a thing of deception and evil. Just is.

Then there is all the false flag speculation. Maybe one of the theories of inside job will be accurate. One says that Putin staged it all so that Trump could look good like he was standing up to Russia.  Seems to be a stretch, but that hasn't stopped the ongoing press for the last three months.  Relentless and often transparently biased but very lame in the attacks.  You run out of ammo if you never take your finger off the trigger and you are wielding an automatic.

I get the same feeling as when Clinton bombed weird stuff and found Bosnia worth going to war over.  I still think that may be debatable.  Anyway, democrats love war.  Yet they successfully claim to be the outfit of peace.  Like how Vietnam worked.   I take it back.  They only love wars that never end and which give them a chance to harass those fighting.  Rules of engagement, second guessing why a terrorist got shot.  In a war zone.  I do not know how the military manages to take orders from these nitwits and narcissists.  Two in a row.  But one at least likes them.  Still.  I couldn't do it under the circumstances, even though  I'm beginning to understand those who do.

And there's discussion that this is a proxy war between the Saudi allies and the Iranian allies.  The Shite Muslims vs the other ones. (I know. It is my prejudice coming through. At least I added the e.)

All I can say is I wish I would have gone into sales for one of the companies who make million dollar bullets.  I handle Tomahawk missile sales.  I always hope they miss the first time, so they have to buy more.  Rumors that my company creates fake targets to deceive our troops into deploying various expensive rockets and missiles and such are totally untrue.

I understand the chemical attack was sadistic and barbaric.  Not sure there is or isn't proof of origin. However we haven't bombed N. Korea, even though that little clown fed his own uncle to hungry dogs.  And has done quite a number on his people.  We did not stop China from murdering millions over the years.  On and on.  I am not buying the story.  But I do not have an alternative.

I do not know what is true, or what our ultimate objectives actually are in foreign policy, but this ain't it.  This just seems contrived.  But that is what I said about Gulf War one.  At least that looked like a quick in and gone operation.  Does seem to have resulted in lasting peace and prosperity except for the arms and bullet salesmen.

It is a relief to see a slight lull in some of the ridiculous, rabid onslaught of anti-Trump press and relentless propaganda.  Ever hear of overkill?  Over the top?   Scary damn people.  Scarier than the people they are screaming about, and I admit there are some scary people in power.  Most people in power do not have the strength of character not to abuse it.  Just look and condo and home owner associations.  Petty power and they go crazy.

Sunday, April 2, 2017

Fear Itself

Every once in awhile, if things feel totally out of my control, in certain contexts, I experience a bit of fear.  Odd physical manifestations can do that, as well as governmental presence, whether they are there to help or punish.  Governmental entities and practices probably generate more fear than most other things in life.  Seriously.

A friend of mine was on the streets for well over a decade.  He is intelligent, and everyone likes him.   A Viet Nam vet.   But that is not actually what landed him on the street.  He had a rather creative wife who managed to mangle finances and else prior to divorce.  Then there came tax issues.

Somehow my friend ended up in a catch 22 sort of thing.  If he earned anything on the books, the IRS and his wife took it all, except less than a hundred a month, or something close.  Eventually, he said screw it.  He went to the black market economy trading in black market commodities which left him more spending money.

He finally became a drunk and druggie, eventually becoming a hard core homeless type.  Vestiges of what war does to people, especially the crazy ass way they conducted that war, certainly affected him.  But the real point is that without a workable way to appease that criminal government agency, this guy could no longer cope.

As big a jerk as my father may have seemed, the IRS really did a number on him in his final years.  I find it next to criminal that somehow, maybe 8 years after he died, they decided they'd raped him for close to $100K in excess of what even they thought they were due.  So, they refunded to his re-married widow.  Some reached my brother and I through a technicality.  Nothing she could do about it  

I think it is sick that they reduced him to a miserable existence and then refund the excess after he died.  He was no angel and lacked any sort of tact or diplomatic savvy, but that does not excuse their actions.  He was right to tell that auditor he was "a slimy little man in a slimy little job".  Not a wise utterance but true.  I've met tax auditors and I cannot say I ever met one I respected or liked.  They are vicious and hate the public.

Anyway, my only main fear is if I died before things were in good enough order.  Getting there.  I don't think my music friends realize how it is sometimes very tricky getting to, and through, gigs sometimes.  Overall, I have improved over the past year, but once in awhile I get caught off guard and feel less than well.

I don't even read the MPN updates all the time.  Even though that is my best source of info re treatments, what others experience, doctors  of note, etc.  Great resource, but I can only indulge so much.  It is the complete life of several patients; researching and being involved with all that the condition entails.  Even running around the town to make money for MPN research, whatever it is called.  

I think maybe the MPN non profits are too new and too tied in with patients to be the big scam that most things like Cancer Society and other medical charities are.   They are out of business if major breakthroughs or cures come to fruition.

Fatigue and nausea can be very sneaky.  You cannot rest your way out of fatigue.  Movement, and exercise are the best things to reduce the feeling that your legs are rubber.   Very tough to just ignore the wobbly fatigue feeling and do what needs doing.   Not impossible.

I sometimes have energy.  It is probably the manic cycle.  It does help if I can get myself moving so that the mania kind of picks me up and counters the exhaustion.  

The fact that I am less plagued by the itching attacks and that mess, and am able to do more in some ways, indicates that maybe I am reducing this stuff to whatever its minimal condition is.
Babbling I guess.  Well, if I kick any time, this will be of some interest.  What is annoying is the shooting sensations that hit my legs or feet or arms and hands often at night.  Maybe it is what they mean by bone pain.  It is not like you can touch it and have any influence.  It is deeper or something.


Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Will Los Lonely Boys Hire Me?

Well, they should, if you ask me.

Big if.  Finally I decided to get tickets for Los Lonelys. They will be at a relatively small venue for them, I think.  Belly Up Tavern in Solana beach.  Very near where I work. I've never been there, and I rarely go to any sort of concert.  Especially if it costs money, involves a lot of people, parking, and other hoopla most people handle as if it is normal.

Now I'm thinking, what if by some stroke you managed to jam with them.  ?   Then I thought, you wouldn't even be prepared.  Better check it out. Sure enough, Heaven is in F#, a key I manage to avoid generally.  I have F# among my practice harps, but I do not have a B which is the cross position harp for F#.  Cross is always five above, counting sharps and flats, or I think music nits call it a fourth above.  Musselwhite and I count five.  Learned it in his book.

I went ahead and pulled up a video of a live performance of Heaven, used my F#, and concluded I could hang using either key harp, and not feel bad about it.  I have to say, to jam with them would be something, I think.   Much of their music just hits me right.

Maybe my friend M, who will be tagging along, will somehow let Henry of LLB know they should waste some time and money on a harp player exactly like me.  She is not shy and also a fan.  Could happen.  I am such a putz and coward, women always run interference for me.  I must be shameless because I feel no remorse over this.

The first time I played in public sober was in Jamaica.  That time E. was responsible for initiating that deal.  It was a staff-guest talent show at a resort.  House band was reggae, with a keyboard playing music director who really had it going on.  Seems it was mostly keyboard, bass, and drums.

Anyway, we jammed off a riff and it was amazing.  The point is, I am now a New England Patriots fan for life as a result, and it is a clear case of a woman facilitating my progress in ways I never would have done on my own.

Women taught me most of what I know, or at least made it possible.  Men instinctively wanted to kill me for most of life, while pretending not.  It is too bad.  I did not notice all these things until way too late, and not that long ago.

Anyway, you never know.

I could use my gig harps and play along with LLB using a B harp, but I don't do that.  I'd have to walk across the room, and I prefer to reserve 1st string harps for rehearsals and shows.  Remind me--I should get a new A minor harp.  And a new B minor, maybe.

If you see those guys, let them know I could be hired cheap and will jam for free.  Lucky them.


That Contract Sanction is Still On

Some time ago, I believe I tried to arrange a hit on myself.  I probably should have gone to Murder Inc. dot com.  If there is such a site; afraid to check.

Anyway, the new fee is $2000.00.  I have no idea how the collection arrangements should be made. No way I pay in advance and get ripped off.  No, you have to off me first.

You could maybe stipulated that I have it on me, then you just take it when done.  But what if you prefer to the far away sniper method?  That changes things.

Oh well.  Still on, and the money is there.  You just have to figure out how to do the job and collect.

It is a gray Wednesday, and after a brief period of relief, I am again plagued by my perennial angst over wasting a perfectly good life, and by some standards, good mind, body and dozens of friendships.

No wonder it is as it is.  Now I am too tired to fix it.  Oh well.  Got at least two gigs this weekend, plus stuff with veterans' music therapy stuff, plus I don't know what else music-wise.  

The thing is, I am getting really sick of playing, sick of music, and totally sick of whatever opinions and causes lame nobody musicians, and their famous cousins, embrace.  Show people are the biggest dumbasses when it comes to how the world should be organized and operate.  Really the proud idiocy often overshadows and eclipses any value their talent may bring.

A perfect example is one of my favorite guitar players running around in a big Che T-shirt grinning like a freshly lobotomized zombie.  What a moron.  Great player but dumb as a rock.  Sorry, Carlos S., I do mean you.

You can know things, see things, understand things, yet still be so personally conflicted or in grief that you cannot do anything much worthwhile.  Even though you may not be doing bad stuff.  Just nothing, mostly.  It is no fun.  You cannot pretend to believe what the sheep around you pretend to believe.  You set yourself up for ridicule and torment.  Why?  Casting pearls before swine in the classic sense. You know they are dumb but you assume they mean well.

Assumptions are often wrong.  Lately, most of my assumptions are wrong.  But I still hate that nonsense about when you assume you make an ass out of u and me.  Nonsense!  Assumption is a reasonable part of trying to make sense of life and keep from getting eaten alive.  I assume that running into a pack of wolves yelling "bad dog" would be a mistake.

Hell with it.  One shot, one kill.  That is the USA Marine sniper's credo.   Let it apply here, should you accept this mission.  How to actually collect the money is still not totally settled.  Just tell them I said so, and use password "nincompoop".   Some survivor is bound to pay if you use the password.

Sunday, March 19, 2017

Crooked As Norm Is Not New

In the year 2000 I was in Greensboro, NC working at the airport.  Night shift when possible.  Good times and dark times.  What's new?  Except--even in the most nonsensical paralyzing depression, I have never felt as far gone in the old pit of despair since moving out west.

The location is only incidental.  It was held up as the motive and reason in itself, but the truth was I needed major reset.  Not like that Hillary button either.  To a grand degree it worked but learning not to be an ultra depressed or otherwise defective idiot takes time.  It can be done.

The story, though is set at Greensboro airport in the year 2000.  A young girl left a purse at the gate.  I think she was maybe 11 or so.  She was gone, flight was gone, last of the day had come in.   The other agents there wanted to take the money.  Can you believe that?  There was ID, and I was able to discover destination and arranged to ship it out on flights that would return it to her within a day.

But the crazy thing is that I was odd man out, or at least in the minority for not being a heartless petty thief.  But I remember a few years before that, in Miami the "edgy" action news reporter, actually ridiculed a guy who found like 50K and turned it in.  She called him a schmuck.  Precursor to news source for most of America being comedy shows and roasts.

The point is, people have been dirtbags, and celebrating that fact, for a long time.  The up side is that this dirtbaggery is not some new facet of the evolution of the species.  In some quadrants it is declining.  The problem is, dirtbags multiply at an exponentially higher rate than non dirt bags.  So the planet is getting overloaded with lunatics, zealots, ultra creeps.   Violent ones.

With luck they kill one another off. That again beings me to abortion.  Most people want nothing to do with it.  But the ones who are really thrilled with it, and use ending pregnancy, to avoid childbirth, are best off not multiplying in most cases.  If they kill themselves and one another, it is the only way decent people, who leave others to live their lives in peace and liberty, can thrive.

Well, one way they can thrive.

I am still stunned by that little airport incident, even though the crew in Memphis, when I moved there, was the thievingest, back stabbing, sorry, crooked, lazy conniving bunch of snakes I've ever had the pleasure to work with.  There were a few good agents.  Out of about 18, I think maybe 3 or 4 weren't a total waste or major thief.

The fact that I remain stunned indicates that I remain a bit naive.

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Thanks for the Subsidies

Kind of like thanks for the memories.  Except I don't much like my memories.

I just tend to think that rather than demand that America cover my healthcare and pittance of a pension (social security), I feel it more appropriate to thank those who pay for this.  If the world weren't insane, none of this would be as it is.

People are mean and crazy and mostly not given to logic and reason, with no internal    checks and balances on greed and jealousy.

So we run around the block to cure diseases, funding the middleman charity which has a vested interest in the disease being perpetually treated, not cured.

Things slowly move along when it comes to personal freedom, disease cure or more effective treatment. They do progress though, in spite of all.  Eventually.

I do not want life to be brutal.  My choices and defects have made me vulnerable to such things.  And the odd illness just about guarantees trouble if I don't take certain measures.  But none of that is anyone else's fault.  I can't in good conscience go scream and yell at rich people to "pay their fair share".  I am sure they pay plenty.  Many hire people and they pay, too.  I pay.  But I take, too.

It was the law.  Now, I don't know but I have already been domesticated.  So throwing me into the world to fend for myself is probably going to be more unpleasant for me than if you keep me on the dole.

But I wouldn't blame you.  I'd figure something out.  Or else I wouldn't.  60-40 in favor of would.

I think maybe the whole thing is a game.  Not sure.  Either it is an elaborate plan to enact a clandestine form of euthanasia, or else it is just another opportunity, like ACA1, to reward certain entities in a bill so convoluted, only the beneficiaries know for sure.  Maybe different cronies this time.  And people will be freaking that they will lose what they have.  I suspect some last minute trickery so that little changes.  What I have heard seems bizarre.  Another "savings account"?  Like social security?  Best kill off the boomers for that to be useful.

What a racket.  And what a shame that people are all being ugly.  Don't bite the hands that feeds you. And don't be screwing with the kitchen help--or no telling what you'll get fed.
That's reality.  It doesn't mean it is all morally right.  It really is not. Moral corruption is what has caused the world to be poor and miserable, for the most part.  If that needs explaining, just forget I ever said it.

So, anyway.  I am skeptical of the sustainability, and ultimate quality and availability of healthcare under proposed system or the present one.  However I am ever in your debt for what subsidies you've provided. Unfortunately, I think insurance is still way ahead of the game, and your subsidies may be pure profit to them.  That's a twist.  Couldn't afford it without you, yet even with a rare disease, I am paying as much as I am using, and you are just paying.

True, though, all that could change instantly if I progressed to other med.  Then you be paying like 100k a year for stuff that seems like it ought be a bit cheaper. Who knows. FDA probably accounts for a lot of that.  Some of this stuff has minor side effects. Or few people suffer those.  At least up to a point.  Right now, your forced subsidies to me provide some vague peace of mind in case it goes south. But I suspect they will try to mouse me if it gets expensive.

The sicker you are, the more games they play trying to not pay up or cover the logical treatments/medications.   You get too fatigued to navigate the mess and play advocate for yourself.  So you die, is what I think they count on.  Otherwise why deny the obvious and typical treatments?

It happens.

Thanks.  Love and kisses.  Keep it up.  I will endeavor to make you proud.  Especially those of you who did not yell or throw bottles at horses while stopping traffic.

Monday, March 13, 2017

I Haven't A Clue, and Maybe I'm Not Alone

Flash back awhile; Nancy said, "We have to pass it to see what is in it!", or words to that effect.  So, by hook or by crook they passed the Affordable healthcare act.  Obamacare.  I still do not know what was in the bill.  Not really.

I knew I had to have insurance by a certain time or I'd be banished to the desert.  So, my friend the broker finagled some high subsidized deal that allowed me choice.  The part we faked is saying I made slightly more than I did.  If you were poorer, they forbade you from paying the extra for a plan with enough choice and freedom that you don't die waiting for competent dx.

So, that was lucky.  Because I had gone out of pocket before the insurance time, and that may be considered proof of pre-existing condition, I guess I benefitted from the law.  I honestly do not know.

But now, the repeal and replace bit seems potentially problematic and not well considered.  Or well considered but unaffected by collateral damage.  Calculated collateral damage.

It could be just me, I don't avail myself of the news much lately.  But I haven't heard much description of specifically is wrong with what is there now, and what specifically is replacing it.  And why.  I haven't heard a lot of what do you do when you already encouraged the dependence of some on whatever care options.  Some of those people are not going to do well if there is sudden change.'

People forget that disabled people and people in pain do not find it easy to do all the admin work it takes to survive broke and in need of medical goods and services.  So changing it and requiring new hoops to jump may be a waste.  I am not much of a fan of this system but that is pretty much how it will go.  Now to find ways to limit decision powers of the official decision makers over medical activities.

I often think it is all a play.  I've never been fond of the democratic party.  Not at all.  But, in modern times,  the republicans go out of their way to be complete caricatures of weirdos, I think, in effort to make the dems look sane.

I was unable to really read the obamacare bill, though I skimmed it.  Convoluted and went on for thousands of pages. Just the outline is nuts.  It takes a robot to read it.  Pelosi bluffed.  They passed it--we don't really know what's in it.

And this new one, no idea, really.  I hear people panicked and people saying it will do this or that.  They always do that with bills.  They claim effects but not specifics of how.  It'll do all these things...

So even if they pass it, all I will know is if I am one who gets the rug pulled out from under.   I can accept it if I am.  America is paying.  But I would rather not see it happen to some other people I know who may not be so fatalistic.

I have a feeling that any bill passed would be pretty much what we have now.  I find the whole thing hotly discussed but very poorly articulated; the whole thing about what is wrong, what they plan to do, and how will it then be better.  And is it within the power of the fed gov in the first place?

Oh well.  I have no idea what is what.  Too many people are actually hostile, emotionally invested, and convinced they are doomed.  The last point makes addressing the previous ones impossible.   But Unless I am sure, I can't try to convince anyone that they aren't doomed.

Sunday, March 5, 2017

A Confederacy of Conspiracy? Or Else...

When I step back, and try my best to look at things without my usual, natural bias regarding certain cultures, which I find obnoxious, annoying, or repulsive, and while suspending my usual disdain of centralized authority and government organizations which give power to people like those in administration at S Miami Jr High, many years ago, it tends to pique my skepticism of current news information and governmental activity rather than relieve it.  It is very hard to suspend resentment and dislike for the Mr. Bobo people of the world and of government.  He is the one who informed me and my mother that I was tone deaf at age twelve.  Jerk.  Public school.  Conformist camp.  Idiots reign supreme.
I had no idea what he was asking and told him so.

Just part of my glitch, but no one got it.  He was so unbelievably wrong.  Public schools.  We are supposed to believe they are healthy swell outfits.  I'd say the system is highly flawed.  Just look at the windowless new schools they put up. Huge institutions that look and behave like prisons.  Usually too large to operate well.  Criminal how it works.  And now cops all over the place.  That should not be the norm in schools.

Turns out I am far from tone deaf.  But that is a very good example of how self important academics and people in power can promote lies and get by with it due to their credentials.  "Scientists say!..blablabla"  Who are these scientists?

Once upon a time all the cool stuff mostly came out of Bell Labs.  Now anyone titled "scientist"  is on a government payroll doing whatever keeps the money coming.  In the world of government funding, that means not stepping on the wrong toes, and often is of no value to anyone.

That is all well and good.

My questioning of the entire big picture stuff troubles me.  That is because it makes no sense.   I still think republicans play foil for democrats and couldn't survive without them.  They pretend to be the resistance.  But then they get all gung ho about laws that serve no real benefit as if that is the most pressing problem there is.

I hate to say it, but if you aren't my wife, and I don't know you, I do not care if you carry your babies to term.  If anyone is really honest, you know damned well you wish some of the aberrant wacko, violent, ignorant people around would fail to multiply.  And no way are you happy to see them preggers.  In any case, it is not a crisis.  The crisis is trying populate the earth with incompetent idiots who can't take care of anyone or any thing.

Again, that is beside the point.  It is a case in which the pretend resistance--not neo progressive BS resistance movement, but the pretend republican resistance to the Left's totalitarian dreams--goes off on a tangent so that the bipartisan stage play, cronyism and graft can go on without any real trouble.  A decoy cause that people fall for. Because they cannot figure out what government ought to do.

My trouble is that I find heavy duty religious ritual to be abhorrent, particularly islamic craziness, and I have no doubt that we have aided terrorists abroad or created fertile ground for trouble.  No idea why.  I have never approved of our mideast strategy, but perhaps I am too stupid to appreciate it.  What I am not too stupid to do is to think how someone could wreak havoc on a budget, if they really wanted to do that.
In reality, about 75% of personnel at border patrol are Mexican descent.  The ones I have seen at interior checkpoints.   

But it is not happening.  Airport security, border patrol agents a hundred miles from the border, the homeland security nonsense, none of this would stop the easy things I know one could do.  I will not describe these things because it does no good to put things out there.  Someone might do it.

My question is whether the threat is misrepresented; why, and how.  I only wonder because if they are as nimble, numerous, and determined as represented, why have there not been worse disasters?
It is a strange thing.  My only conclusion is that these people are not as suicidal as it seems.  They just draft the fools and mentally challenged for that.  Maybe.  It is puzzling.  Maybe they figure if the push it too much people would say hell with it and raze mosques in the US or something.

In any case, I do not think the truth is anywhere near the surface.  And I am not sure where it is.  I watch people bury themselves in all the progressive talking points on facebook.  No way they can be promoting all that and doing any double checking.  But when it is mentioned, they freak out and throw another bushel of half truths at you.

 It will wear you down if you actually go for reason.   I think it is because people are driven to feel like part of a dedicated crowd, and they are too lazy to really look at the holes in the stories and the slant, and too motivated to be embraced by their peer group to go against the grain.  Cowards in a sense.  They know they haven't any really reliable info, quite often, but it feels good for their image and alleged viewpoint so they ride along.

What has happened is that we have accepted a system in which we have to trust all to proper authorities.  We give up rights, are asked for our papers or why we are driving down the street.  I cannot drive to Texas or AZ or back into CA without checkpoint stops by border patrol asking me where I am going and why, if I am a citizen, etc.  And some of these are many miles from the border, and on roads that never ever cross a national border.  It is nuts.  So, to those agents, NO THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE.  (what You call service--I call it legal bullying and worse)
In the military, your oath is to protect the constitution.  I imagine that word is forbidden to these "public servants" and those with homeland security.  You think even half know what the 4th amendment is?  Of course, elected officials are equally disinterested in the rights and freedoms of others.  This is life by government approval.  And there are many Mr Bobo types in positions to approve or deny.  

If anyone really wants to make trouble they can.  Gangs and violent criminals in the US are a bigger problem,  Our solution---harass normal citizens who mind their own business and want to exercise a bit of freedom, while hurting no one.  So they have put a damper on the bulk of the population, doing nada to eradicate the obvious problems.  It is absolutely bizarre ad makes one wonder WTF?

I think we have been elaborately duped in so many ways.  It is nuts.  Ever wonder what our objective really is in most of the places where we consume bullets and bombs?  I believe the bullet sales people are quite pleased with the endless gravy train.  Comes down to people love to make other people do what they want and money.  But don't underestimate that vicarious power greed.  Those are the ones who say, "If you got nothing to hide, then nothing to worry about".  Life by permission, and those idiots imagine themsleves as part of the judgement and approval process. Pricks

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Feb 28 Was Rare Disease Day

Nothing says parrtayy! like a day devoted to rare diseases, I always say.

Here's how I know.  A message, wrapped around a rock thrown at my window.  It missed and bounced off the cottage shingles.

Dear John0   
Today is Rare Disease Day! We know from speaking to people around the world that Myeloproliferative Neoplasms (MPNs) touch so many more lives than we realize. Many people are only a few degrees of separation from someone living with PV, ET and MF, but don't know it. 

They go on talking for awhile.  No idea what they said but I believe they end with a pitch for donations; worthy cause, save lives, blablablablabla.

Something about how charities and public education do things, and the way they use the language that grates on me.  Greatly.

So run around a rare block and let all your friends see you running around the block in your effort to cure MPNs and all other cancer and poverty and whatnot.  It will surely do the trick.

In my case, I often think I am getting better, and often think it could go south at any moment.   I find myself becoming grouchy and frustrated.  In no mood to hear about politics too much.  Especially don't want to hear how someone has to be an awful person to support politics you hate, etc.

I understand your reasoning but you are wrong.  It is because you do not realize that your wayward ex-friend does not agree to the premises upon which you base your argument.   You aren't a thief if you support more taxes, unless you hold to the premise that money taken by force by government (taxes) constitutes armed robbery.

See?  It's like saying that anyone who could support a white supremacist, misogynist ( i want equal time for misandrists), racist president is no friend of mine. Awful, deplorable, despicable you.

The problem is that most of those supporting your nightmare politician do not agree to the charges leveled, above.  But if it is said over and over in all your talking points, and the machinations of those controlling the conversation and trying to mold your opinion, you can forget to consider that perhaps your lost friends disagree with all that list of adjectives attached to your representative.

I notice that a lot of this is out there, where the dubious premises are stated like agreed upon facts.  Like "settled science" to use another political propaganda tool and a nonsensical statement.

Rare Disease Day 2017 MPN Researcher Spotlight — Dr. Robert Kralovics from MPN Research on Vimeo.
As long as both sides look out the window and say things like, "Oh my God, it is hotter than ever; proof that the earth is heating up like crazy and it is cause by humans", or "Look at all that snow!  More than ever.  Show me your global warming now!", we are doomed.

Can't help but think of the antics of government when the term "rare disease" is mentioned.

No matter whether you consider the climate to have been radically changed by man or not, that is not how it works.  Also, if you think any trend in your lifetime is significant enough to make a judgement about future climate, or even present, you have an inflated view of your place and time.

The old climate argument is a brilliant and probably evil, PR coup.  The real argument is not scientific, it is political.  What is presented as the whole picture ignores the fact that one can agree with the hockey stick graph, or any other thing like that, but not agree with a political solution in the form of taxes and nefarious global shenanigans.

By vaguely associating the anti government approach with holocaust deniers is a nice touch,  And, like they are doing with the current president's supporters, they are advocating suspension of your rights to be heard, and a sick legal license to behave in a hateful manner toward their foes.  That is the way of organized mobs.

And the Left has made the bold move to become one big hate filled mob, beating people up in the name of love and humanity.  I honestly am not sure what is up with the Right, except they are sick of the behavior of the left.

But all these racist, xenophobic, blablabla descriptions have zero to do with how this election came out or how people view themselves and their motives for rejecting the Clinton/Obama era Left.

Never has it been clearer that both parties are scammers, and both put on a play that people seem to believe is real.  It becomes real whenever you have mobs about.

Saturday, February 18, 2017

Inflammatory Opinion Re Pope, Religion and WTF

Let's all breathe easy.  The Papa, he say there is no such thing as Islamic terrorism.  Nothing to lose your head over, that's for sure.

I could never be Catholic I guess.  Francis is not the first Pope I found to be obnoxious and, in my biased view, a phony busy body.  Like first spouses, I have long felt that holy men, and/or women, ought to butt out of politics.  Especially politics in places where you do not live, vote or possess citizenship.

First spouses ought to just be seen rarely and heard almost never.  I have never voted for the first lady.  They are just accessories, there to make the candidate look stable and family friendly.

Back to the Pope.  Why do I know what he thinks about Islamic terrorism, or anything else?  I don't know.  We are still in feudal times; kings, priests and thieves all band together to bully the people.

Here's another one; I think mother Theresa was a lunatic and not at all a saint.   Shoot me.  You put the Pope into politics and I will offer my views, too.   Probably I could get the Donald to back me up on MT's lunacy and lack of saintly deserts.

Sorry.  That is what it has come to.  I no longer think the Pope speaks for God or anyone else with any sense.

This brings me to award shows.  Can you name a more nonsensical bit of manipulation?   OK, you probably can, but the Academy Awards show is up there.   It is a show about people in a business awarding themselves for their splendid efforts while promoting themselves and their industry, shamelessly, as some sort of super human force for good.  Just ask them--they are they world's shining beacon of hope.

The Oscars are so important that news about how it will be conducted is considered news..  News about how various professional pretenders will use their moment in the spotlight to babble about politics is apparently important and noteworthy.

The only people who rival performing arts for telling us how much we need them and how great they are would be public school teachers and administrators.  The stuff they put on facebook about their greatness is nauseating. And a lie if you were on the receiving end of their unfair bias and ignorance.

Anyway. If the Pope says it, it must be true. No islamic terror  Someone made it all up.   He's no more credible than your garden variety snake handler.

As far as happenings in DC go, I think it is business as usual, but someone pulled back the curtain.  Lots of people liked the pretend version better.  I did not.  Although I am not too keen on this version either.  I just love the instant hypocrisy it brings out; so obvious yet they try to pretend that away too.

I think Trump would have made a better pope.  You can be bat sh** crazy and people think you are wonderful. Crazy enough and you may make saint.


Moving from Effect to Cause: a birthday miracle?

Southern California has been experiencing more rain than usual.  Any rain is more than usual, but this rain is once again the storm of the century.  We've had several since I moved out here.  Storms like no other. At least since the last one.

The number one symptom that sent me to doctors and medical wonderland was triggered by rain, moisture, high humidity, especially when combined with any physical exertion.  That was the one they call pruritus.  Fancy word for itch. But to me it is a little different than normal itch.  It is like ants running around biting.  It moves erratically at lightning speed.

The important thing is that dodging the pruritus attacks controlled my life to a great extent.  It is even more a symptom of the next stage of MPN disease than what they labeled me.  What is interesting is how that symptom has faded away, more and more over the last year or six months.

It is really remarkable, and not what I tend to read about on forums.  There are a couple of useful ones that come in email; one for the aquagenic pruritus--itch generated from water, moisture, perspiration, etc., and one which deals with all myeloproliferative neoplasms. (MPN in the lingo).  The latter is more comprehensive and focussed.

The one dealing only with the itch is a much looser forum. People with no known or detectable blood disorder get this, and I think it is a symptom of other things, too.  Some people have it forever.  Some take themselves out; fashion their own cement shoes.

My ability to function better than I could one or two years ago is encouraging.  It makes one think the progression of the disease is going the way they usually do not go.  It is regressing, maybe.  That would be swell O

Which of the measures I have taken are responsible for this health coup?  That is what I don't know.  I have employed some orthodox, and some unorthodox measures.  But I had been taking the hydrea for awhile before I made it a point to get regular input of cbd oil.  It is not cheap, but I do think it is beneficial and has helped. I could be wrong.  But my personal tests indicate I may be correct to credit cbd with this better quality of life.  One that that being in CA makes a bit easier.

I'm not sure what is responsible fior the near disappearance of that symptom.   It is quite an uncomfortable thing. The degree of limitation on my life was many times higher in the past couple of years.  If I really am improving, it is quite a deal.

Then again, I told you so.

Friday, February 17, 2017

Remembering The LA "we clean your toilets" Mayor; while contemplating privilege

So, there I was, cleaning toilets at a resort home owned by a black billionaire and often used by black and white, alike.  I think someone should ask why Latinos (stupid word, I think, but there you have it) are not better represented among the guests who visit this home.  As I worked I recall the ex LA mayor screaming, "We clean your toilets!", in efforts to justify illegal immigrant labor.

Has anyone yet figured out that an immigrant, and and illegal immigrant are two different animals?  It does not sound that way from the rhetoric around various protests and general nonsensical victim babble going on.  That does not change the hardships many good people endure etc.  But ignoring the distinction is dishonest, naive, and clearly a ploy to get some desired nefarious outcome--like an easily manipulated voting bloc, and fuel to ensure your related government agencies get continued funding.

Anyway, I thought, "No, Senor Villagrosomierdeman, (or however you spell your changed name to sound more Mexican), I clean Your toilets, you ingrate and bigot!!

You have no idea how effective the usual propaganda can be.  They have California Mexicans, and a huge percentage of Black Americans believing that White people are born to luxury, great treatment by authorities of all kinds, and a healthy bank account.  They are wrong.  Probably my privilege showing.

So, I was thinking, I bet the mayor never cleaned anything for anyone.  So shut up.  Why is my privilege failing me?   I do menial tasks for the downtrodden (if we see everything through the lens of race and ethnicity) and hope they are pleased and don't fire me or thoughtlessly create hardship through their lack of consideration and tendency to create messes, break things and hide the evidence, etc.  By "they", I mean the various guests, in general, no specific group.  The classic was when someone knocked the shutters to pieces with a basketball in a guest room, and never said a word.  They even left the ball in there on the floor.  Poor downtrodden souls.

That I would even notice such things screams PRIVILEGE like crazy.

Here's the other side of it.  The Black employer pays better than any White folks I know.  And it is a good gig in the realm of part time, flexible jobs.  No benefits, though.  Of course it was a white lady that hired me when she was overseeing the place.  Before I had a chance to try to replace her when she left, a guy from the main Chicago office of the owner had it locked up.  And now we have him down here.  Also white, and privileged.  And possibly mentally or intellectually challenged.

It comes in waves, but I often wonder if he is serious or just testing.  I fear he's serious.  A sincere actor in the theater of the absurd.  Often it just defies words and logic what he does or does not do.  I am convinced he has no clue what I and my co-worker do.

I'd explain but I don't even know how to start. Strange.  Nice people though, even if crazy and challenged. But do not put the mentally challenged ones in charge of cerebrally dependent agendas.  The trick is do not ask if you should do this or that.  Invariably he nixes what ought to be done then wants a two week project done in half a day.  Concepts like it takes time for paint to dry do not compute.  "can't more people make it go quicker?'  Not always.

Such nonsense is promoted so people will support those who want your resources and control of your labor.  And it works.  Who can resist being a victim?   We are the ones who clean your toilets!!

Seriously, cleaning a toilet in a fancy mansion is not that bad at all.  Especially if the pay is right.  Two days work plus a little and rent is paid.  OK.  But we both know I should be the one with the major bucks and great company paying others to do stuff.  But I am not, and this is OK.

Friday, February 10, 2017

Study Shows: public intellectually and in deed imitate famous comics

Therefore, comedians should be approved by appropriate committees.  Like FDA but for comedian kings. Or not.

I am so used to people being lost before the title is up.   The political feel of everything lately is driving me nuts.  And it is all self righteous abuse.

My reasons for pulling for the Pats was apolitical= not political, for the rabid who may have missed that point.  Then I see some clip of Bill Maher playing all holy by not being for New England because of times when those people associated with Trump.  All funny.  This new black list is nuts.

You want to fix the world?
Fix these things; average stupidity, petty greed--whether for money, attention, power, and fix the rampant and contagious condition of being incapable of critical thinking.  I'm serious.

People who are addicted to self righteous anger and outrage will probably never let the rest of us get any sleep, if they have their way.  

And people get hooked on hating someone famous.  The other party supplies that.  So do sports figures.

It reflects well on Tom that various teammates seemed somewhat motivated by what it  meant to him. And said so.

Bill is such a sleaze.  He just smeared and stereotyped people based upon their super bowl pick.  A certain type of progressivism really is a mental disease.  No fear of a monopoly there.   The implication of ridicule, and not being cool if you don't do like Bill., are enough that 90% seek the peer approval.  The kind of bandwagon shunning they are orchestrating is a bit unnerving.

When people go to comics for their in depth political research, and for what to think, we may be in trouble.  That's the conscientious people. The others got no idea what we/re talking about.

Sunday, February 5, 2017

Is It Just Me? gaga, etc.

Never would I have guessed that I would be a Gaga fan.  The chick is sick, in a good way.  That was bizarre but incredible.  That is my review. That woman knows no fear, is amazing performer.  She jumped off the roof!   If there were hidden political things, I did not look for them.  I was just blown away at how she pulled off that whole performance.  That is someone who seems not to fear heights.  Or else she trusts her engineers and riggers that much.

I had ignored the NFL until this game, for the most part.  To me it made up for a lot of their annoyances in recent years.  Only Super Bowl ever to go to overtime, and on and on. Plus the halftime show was insanely complex and good.   Was that like 100 feet up?  I am in awe of that chick.  Definitely the real deal

Best Super Bowl game ever

Watching team sports when the teams are the epitome of excellence in their sport causes me to think people are capable of really beautiful and amazing things.  They are.  Trust me.

Anyway, I called it, but along the way, I conceded that whoever won, I have not seen that level of play ever I don't think.  But, Bellycheck, or however that is spelled, took my advice and went for the rope-a-dope.  They allowed Atlanta to kick their ass until it was almost too late, then the sprung, and while they were at it caught a couple of good breaks.  In O.T. they went ahead with the old one two. Or something.

Nice cap to an interesting weekend.  Now we roll on.  Got asked by two different people to lay down tracks on their studio projects.  At least one pays something, the other may, but it may also just cement my rep at Studio West with some good players and lead to more paying studio work.  That would be nice.

Here's the point of the whole kit and kabootle; never give up.  Just keep plugging with what is in front of you and don't be a slacker.  That's what I take from it.

Saturday, February 4, 2017

Doubling Down on the Divide

I thought the madness would at least lose some of the hostile hysteria once the election was done.  I was wrong.  Ignorance and anger have become a strange hobby.  So many ignorant, greedy*, insistent people, positive that they are right and anyone who questions them or disagrees is evil and either needs their speech abridged or their welfare payments cut off.  Depends upon who is doing the ignorant ranting.

*I say greedy because it is a greed for some kind of power when people rant about what "we" need to do, in circumstances in which they know only some or none of the facts.  Feels so good to belong to a group that spouting nonsense and seeking limits on the behavior of others makes one feel strong.  That little hint that you can abuse others while pretending to be holy or compassionate or a hero.

People love it when the group accepts some social imperative that excuses managing your resources and your life choices.  Even though they know they are overstepping natural rights, they pretend otherwise because they get to feel important and powerful.

It is annoying.  really

Friday, January 27, 2017

Just an Aside

I feel your pain; intellectually.  I've known he was a bit troublesome from the get go.  The funny part is that you really think the phonies in charge, even people like FDR, are not all the things you attribute to you-know-whom.

The funny thing is, he's actually not as much those things as the Kennedys were, as Slick Willy, and any number of others.  He's just blunt and probably suffers culturally for being stuck too long in NYC.  It is scary, I admit.

The real scary thing is that you think this is scarier than before.  You actually think the UN is an altruistic organization which only an awful fascist would criticize.  That is naive.  Geez, a place where slave states have equal say, and are treated as dignified colleagues. What hypocrisy.

I guess it has a purpose.  My point is that it is scary that people only now seem to note the cronyism and such that has usurped power, from before I was born.  It is how nations and governments are.  People just have that compulsion to treat everything like a holy God, so they jump at the chance when politicians come on like some new version of priest, promising to "fight" for them.

What makes it so that I need fighting for?  Unless the state takes such control of resources that only those authorized to function within its halls have any control or say in its proceedings.  So I have to have the legal priests fight for my right to live, fight for my dinner.  Crazy.  Oh thank you, holy ones.

That was the way of it long before now.  And people are freaking as if it has always made sense until now.

What we are seeing is one of the slickest, nastiest, most coldly calculated PR stunts ever.  And that is from the side freaking out over this president.  He rates scrutiny and resistance, I'm sure.  But what is not seen is the implied Soviet, or Cuban style of societal control that the organizations and individuals behind this want.

I can fight a fire with a rocket launcher.  That does not enable me to save the building any more than the original arsonist's actions served to save the building.

Peer pressure and image won't allow many to really look at things without going berserk.  So, I just don't try to change any minds.  I just hope they do not block traffic because I would be likely to bump people out of the way or even push their car with mine.  Or stop and run around like a maniac with my machete.  So it is better if they don't stop traffic.

That is so 3rd f'ing world.  We used to know that.  Thank you 60s, you gave people the idea that violating the rights of others is peaceful protest.  You use force then it is not peaceful.

God, I really dislike mob demonstrations.  I get their appeal, but I don't enjoy mobs at all.  Some people do.  They love the mob mentality--chance to violate their own boundaries safely.  That's why mobs are dangerous.  Pack behavior is not the same as civil individual behavior.

Damage and Optimism, or not

One goal that recently crossed my imaginary desk is the goal of believing one is not damaged beyond repair.   Some are damaged, and some are not, and it is all a matter of degree.  That's the point.  Some may feel like there is no hope of repair.  That is probably not a good thing.

Most things can be repaired if they still operate at all.  Or you can just reform them into unusual Christmas ornaments.


They are now teaching courses in how to detect white privilege.   I'm assuming that may include conditioning the crackers to also muster the proper amount of guilt for being who they are.

Condition of birth.  Not something we fight anymore, hoping to judge by "content of character" rather than color, self proclaimed gender identity, etc.  Now we embrace it as many in ancient India embraced the Caste system.  I guess it still goes on today.  Lucky them.  Back in fashion.

I thought about how to better improve the curriculum of these new privilege spotting courses.  I thought it would be a clever idea to drop the white students in the heart of the 'hood, say in Watts, Liberty City (Miami), various places in Memphis, places like that.   And take the non transparent students, those "of color" (sorry, I hate that racist BS tag), and drop them off in a predominately wealthy white neighborhood.

Have them meet you at a predetermined spot maybe a mile or two away.  Then you all go back and compare your experiences to see how well the white privilege worked for those students, and how tragically the lack of privilege caused pain and hardship to the colorful pedestrians.

It's scientific so we can't possibly predict the outcome.  I suggest early evening.  Just after dark, to give the whole experiment a bit of ambiance.

Also, I suggest traveling about to other countries, but not on a big budget.  Money can sometimes be confused for racial privilege and we don't want that confusion.   I suggest this because I have heard that in places like China, the Chinese seem to have an edge when it comes to being accepted and knowing how to get a long.  Chinese privilege they call it, especially in Tibet.  Go figure.

I predict that in some of these places, they won't even bother to speak your language.  Unless there is plenty of money in it.  But anyone that rich should feel bad and either give it away or jump from a very high place.  It is only fair.

It has been said that if you don't know of your privilege, or believe it, then that proves your privilege and your privilege is showing.

I'll show you mine if you show me yours

Thursday, January 26, 2017

Life and Punishment

There is probably crime involved, but nothing of the mainstream crime ilk, I don't think.  Some of it may be genetic or hereditary.  Some of my blood line have taken aloneness to ridiculously awful levels.  I may have surpassed the others, I expect.

For unknown reasons we indulge in the irrational, refuse good judgement and the result is isolation and loneliness.  It is like a punishment.  That is absolutely nuts.  And eventually fatal.

Even after all this time, I don't get it.  I can feel the handicap, not knowing how else to class it.  I don't even know how to define this "it".  But I know how it feels.   Limiting and like home at the same time.  But
never mind
Always can make use of what's there to best possible, and things go well.  But some have a built in motion brake.  If you do not have one, then you wouldn't believe how powerful it is.  It makes no sense.  But this is what we do; deal with the imaginary demons of life, and hope I don't somehow offend governmental people, real people, or other things.

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Understandable Worry, But What's With The Costume?

Before I recall whatever the point was that inspired this post, I have to say that I think dressing up like genitalia and pretending to be profound and righteous is a nonsensical pretense and you may be nuts.  I'd say get help, but I think that won't happen.  The new normal and all.

But, holy smoke!, if you look at faceboo there is one crazy story after another.   Trump set to appoint TV judge to Supreme Court.  No.  It is a lie.  No matter, the total supporter of the potus shares it, and comments favorably.  Someone points out that it is fake and then they point out that snopes is biased.

But the story is made up, with or without snopes' opinion.

There was a rash of anti-Trump overwhelming everything it seemed.  One friend was sharing all the koolaid memes as fast as they poured over the Niagara Falls of partisan propaganda.  So many of them proved inventions of some hack that he seems to have let up, for the most part.

If things are progressing according to FB news, I'd be way more freaked out than I am.  I would not march around dressed as a component of human reproductive materiel regardless of what the federales and Nr T decide to do.

Keep in mind, presidents are not kings or unlimited in power.  But, when you have encouraged increasing the reach of executive action and power because your man was in the catbird seat, you set the stage for someone who scares you being elected to that office and automatically having more power than he/she ought.  You helped set the stage.  As do all people who forget principle, or cannot grasp the concept, so they go for personality and emotion.

This may be a big surprise to some but I hope New England wins.  And I hope this administration is not as nuts as the zealous false stories that the ultra koolaid logged tend to share and cheer.  They want the crazy stuff.  As spooky as the ridiculous costumes.

Saturday, January 21, 2017

Policing Strangers; part of the problem

So, here we go.  Now I see what worries some of the overly panicked who are in the thick of protests and whatever.  They do tend to fuel one another's fears and misinformation, but when I see some of the reaction from those celebrating, I can see why.

Made up stories for every view abound.  Many are used to discredit, and many are used to fuel that lynch mob mentality like in the old westerns.  At the heart of it is that need to feel power over others; to micro manage the lives of those who aren't marching in your band.

It is troubling that neither side sees it when their direction is something that is not in the spirit or letter of the Constitution,  and is something that restricts individual autonomy while further empowering the state.   Disaster.

Realizing that the need to feel self righteous and to cloak vindictiveness in fabricated crises, and that most people have never understood the ideals embodied in our system is disheartening.   There's a lot of , "hell yea, string em up" sort of mentality.
How people can enjoy being crammed in chanting crowds is beyond me.  I get that many really believe.  I also get that a huge percentage of participants and "leaders" are their for peer approval and self aggrandizement (Michael Moore, Cher, a cornucopia of attention seeking thespians).  Never under estimate the power of peer pressure, or the psychopathic nature of crowds and the group psychology that develops as the crowd becomes its own organism.  I do not think women's rights are as threatened as they think.  But I get how the hysteria can multiply.  Like usual, how to get from A to B is the real dispute.  I hate the massive crowd approach in most instances. They are subject to being used for ends and interests they do not even see. pbuh

Like chanting "Lock her up" at the inauguration.   Really?  That is over.  She lost, and it was a dumb sentiment in some ways to begin with; not that she didn't majorly mishandle her job and information. It would do no one any good.  But that attitude at the inauguration seems to indicate that people think that now that Trump is in office we'll have a hellfire theocracy of some kind, and all the pain they wanted to visit on infidels and others who don't conform to their ways can now be accomplished, no holds barred.

Think again.  Some of this nonsense is not going to happen.  I hope.

One big myth is that food stamps and welfare are out of control and a big drain on the economy.  No. Wasteful, I am sure, but the stuff people are putting out there is not really accurate.  The big money is in the program of never ending wars.  Not only do we seem to stay engaged forever, but we haplessly attempt to rebuild countries where people love to fight one another, and we aren't making it better.  You go.  Don't send others and pretend it is worthwhile.  Often it is nonsense.

So often people get sent in to battle, and then they have the rug pulled out from under them by rules of engagement or political nonsense.   Remember the lies about the video causing Benghazi?   Somewhere back in this blog I recall claiming it a suspected hoax before it became known.  Just because it made no sense.  The video was hilarious.  It was a trailer for a film that I guess does not exist.  I found it at the time.  Lot of green screen work I guess.  Made the actor look like he was floating.  Anyway, it was a lie.  Probably a jailable offense, but that would do not good.

You have people who think the problem is that we don't put enough people in jail.  What nonsense.  The US is like the number one prison happy country and we are supposed to be the opposite.    The main good thing Obama did was to commute so many sentences and to pardon many.  In some cases I imagine it was a mistake but in most, I doubt it was.  Many were in for things that would yield a slap on the wrist today, if that.

I'd rather see a hundred guilty go free than to see one innocent person jailed.  It is a sick system and needs re-thinking.  But that is no fun for those who like to feed that little mean streak masquerading as righteousness and "common sense".

Common sense is nonsense.  Uncommon sense is what we're after.  Common sense told people the earth was flat, that a bubble balance is as good as spin balance, etc.  Common sense tells people the easy, obvious, fallacious conclusion.  You have to dig a little deeper to hit truth.

Like climate change.  It's hot so the world must be warming.  It's cold so it must be cooling.  On and on.  Since Al and others say it is serious and climate change is absolutely due to this or that, people choose a side (in ignorance, truth be known) and then fight for all they are worth.  Neither side could even do the math involved in analyzing the subject, let alone have solid proof that they know all of the influences on climate and the relative weight of each.  Maybe a little clue but not the totality.  Not at this point.

But facts don't stop people.  It is like people pretending all the migrant illegal visitors are picking fruit.  Turns out to be a small percentage.  I know that many make very good money in construction and else.  Some scrape by doing manual labor, and some work with gangs and drug lords, etc.  The point is, people paint the picture that suits their conclusions, making up their minds then searching for a fact or two to support their view. They avoid that which may shoot down the desired conclusion.

One subject that has come out recently is drug testing welfare recipients.  Mostly this would further humiliate those who need or seek help.  The scammers would still find a way around it, and the tax payers would spend yet more money for no good purpose.  Thinking it would save money is nonsense.  It is a feel good bit of vindictiveness that is not even warranted.  First drug test elected officials, daily, if you are so concerned about the secretly addled brains of others.   You think that because a drug is prescribed it is less detrimental than drugs that are not?  If so, you are in the dark on the subject.

But it makes people feel like they are getting back at "them", the damned riffraff ruining the country.   Here's my take:  the drug war, and the DEA, the prison system, and public education as it has been used, all combine to help develop and swell the ranks of the riffraff who make problems.  It is insane.

What has happened is that false premises have been so often repeated that we take them for fact.  Or we assume that certain things are good and others bad, without investigating.

So many things that never should be under government purview, and certainly not part of federal power, but people don't question it.  They think we are a democracy and that means if the majority decides the proper diet for all then so be it.  That is not the deal.   It is so hard to let much of individual behavior be off limits to government overview.

The big difference in the USA was that, here, the government's powers are by permission of the people, rather than the people's rights being granted as privilege by government.  That is a very important distinction.  Fewer and fewer seem to comprehend that concept.   And therein lies the problem.  WE have even been taught differently than that, but the basic premise of the Constitution is just that.

I worry that people are so willing to see the state wield power over the individual in matters which do not directly involve or harm others.  You can pretend anything harms you, I guess.  If you have bad diet and exercise habits, your kids will be obese and unhealthy, so let's get the state on them right now.  That is the kind of logic I see.  It is too bad.  People should either be smarter than that or should be taught the reality of the philosophy of self government as introduced by our system.  It was unique.  But they pretend not.  Public schools teach the compromised philosophy which puts the individual at the bottom of the list of importance, rather than the top.  It is criminal and annoying.

And it carries on to the news sources, which have forever been the government's sales force, selling more and more erosion of rights.  Selling a self sacrificing program of national self hate and spending money on nonsense.  Nothing happens that they don't push for more laws, even when the disaster of the moment was either related to present laws being enforced or not enforced.

Gun free zones have helped facilitate problems.  Immigration issues are often a case of not enforcing the existing laws, and then someone wants another law.  Happens all the time.

Someone is driving unsafely but we need to make micro laws specifying texting etc.   You're driving like a drunk idiot.  Who cares why?  Laws are already there.  That one is minor. There are better examples of writing laws over existing laws which aren't enforced.  Can't draw one up just now.

Anyway, I do not like the over-reaction to Trump.  The mantra being repeated of racist sexist etc.  If you were a fly on the wall in NY power circles or even DC, you would know these people are not what they pretend. Even the democrats.    Shreds of truth to the chants but not extreme relatively speaking.  Ted K was Trump's abusiveness or personal bullying on steroids.

I also don't like the reaction of people who actually think Trump is going to send all obnoxious groups overseas or back to Mexico or something.  Not happening and the idea is nuts when you are talking people legally here.  I have seen a little of that on the net. "Go back where you came from!"  REALY? People are so proud of their ignorance and idiocy if they have peer support.

Maybe these marches will be wonderful.  Just leave traffic alone.  But keep in mind the mantra of misogyny xenophobia racism etc., may be over the top.  The imitating the disabled guy has pretty well been debunked because that is his go to pantomime whenever he mocks anyone.  Maybe not good, but not specific to the guy.

I never liked Trump or Rosie O, or any of that kind of people. That petty back and forth insult.  That does not mean I think people are not going overboard, half baked on half true information.  And they know it.  They just can't let go of that feel good zealotry,  aimed at whichever side.  Bunch of friggin neo bolsheviks on one side, replete with millions of duped, useful idiots, and a bunch of yahoo, round'em-up-and-let's-have-a-neck-tie-party nuts on the other.  Throw in religiosity here and there, and lots of pretense, and here we are.

No need for this idiocy.  But I don't care what anyone says.  Freeing federal prisoners is probably not a case of loosing rabid cannibals on the street.  Most in federal prison are not there for horrendous crimes.

Looks to me like both sides want totalitarian government.  It is just that they differ on how people should be forced to live.

I guess it is true that people are just not that bright.  But look at how we live with such great things like planes and cars and nice beds, etc.  So people cannot be that stupid.  I guess it is a matter of character then.  They cannot resist ill gotten gain/power, finding enemies to hate, and they can't resist having more control over their neighbors than is really necessary or right.

Always an excuse, though. Greater good, what God wants, who knows what else.  Just lame excuses to control or punish others.  Crazy.
Look at me!!! I'm famous!!!  Thank you Mr. Trump.  
Without you I would have no hobby and no fame
Now, if I can just figure out what I have accomplished here...

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Creativity Curve

When you are young, as in late teens and first couple of decades of adulthood, you tend to want others to know what you feel inside, to recognize your ingenuity; you want to be seen and understood.   It drives you to write, start enterprises, live.

After enough time being inundated with false information and petty emotions, one tends to lose that drive which fueled that zest for life.  I consider the entrepreneurial spirit a symptom of a zest for life. Writing, creating, inventing, building. All that.  Not everyone is programmed with the same false premises about life and themselves, or to the same degree.  So any specifics drawn from my generalities could be in error.

I resist using French cliches to describe the phenomenon of which I write.  I speak some form of English and I hate it when people throw in paragraphs in Latin, or various phrases from other languages (usually French), just to let the reader know that, though he/she/it/none/all/trans is the only one in the room, he/she/it/none/all/trans is not the smartest one in the room.  The author is, of course.

If punching the written word would, through the mysterious machinations of voodoo, translate into the author feeling a punch in the nose, there would be many bloody noses out there.   Many.

As I get older I tend to care less about being understood.  And I absolutely don't want to really be known.  If you knew me, you'd have as low an opinion of my worth as I often do.

In the spirit of the new year, or perhaps an early Lent, I will endeavor to remove the "in" from my way too prevalent state of insanity.  So, with luck, I will be visiting a state of sanity soon.

The drive to create has dwindled down to a memory.  And now I am not quite so despondent that so much of business is half thought out, ignores collateral damage, and is so in bed with crooked government nonsense as I was before.   Probably because I am doing nothing that would be affected.

Most very cool stuff is initiated by people in their twenties.  They are less trapped by the financial system and our system which still holds on to the whole feudal model.   When you come down to it, people, or some kinds of people, cannot really let go of the concept of slavery.  Not along racial divides, just slavery in concept.

That is why companies often act like they own employees.  And treat workers as capital, like machines.   They have their useful life, depreciation, etc.  It makes sense in an arithmetic sort of way.
It is not working overall.  Only in pockets here and there.

I have no doubt that people would trade the lives of others if it meant keeping their 40k/year job.  Or 20k/year.  It has always amazed me.  The less they pay the more inclined they are to see you as chattel, property.

In my situation, creativity and enterprise are my main hope of surviving any length of time.  Yet I hardly care enough to shake the fog and the freeze ups, and get to work on the simple things that could yield betterment on all fronts.  This little writing fit is an effort to confront myself so I react by saying, "What's to lose?  I will do XYZQTLBGTOTHER and overcome this mental block and freeze of action."  That is the hope.  Imaginary binds which hold me down.  Is that nuts or what?  OK.  I will quit being a wimp.

No, I won't.  I doubt I will ever do what I ought.  We shall see.

Monday, January 16, 2017

Things I Don't Say on Facebook

Avoiding much comment on facebook is not always easy.  Time after time I write some lengthy rebuttal or comment regarding an assertion made in a post, only to immediately delete.

I know that comments can lead to trouble and the pretend tough people get all upb in your figurative face about everything.  When the reason stops, it is pretty clear.

The last major meme which appeared to be hoax was one touting Trumpcare, the alternative to Obama care.  I am seriously skeptical of this story.  It pretty much says Trumpcare is a government pay insurance companies and you get your part tacked onto your tax bill.

That is kind of a single payer system, and no one gets a choice.  That's the forced buy concept amped up.  Single payer--US government, and single collector, IRS.  But this is right there in the taxes.

They said you choose doctors etc.  I think it is a garbage story.  Makes no sense.  No way I want to get into it on FB.   I still think we do not know--most of us--what the ACA entails.  Nancy said we'd see what is in it once passed.  We still do not really know.

Repealing it and going with whatever is supposed to happen will probably remain unclear.  On FB, at best you invite a bunch of talking point parrots when you question things.

When have we heard what exactly is the current healthcare situation?  What is wrong with it, what are they planning to do to make it right?  Are they going to remove government from healthcare completely?  That won't happen.

So, lets cheer for replacing what we don't understand with something we can't name.  Maybe start with those whose premiums went up along with deductibles.   If you really think the bill had zmuch to do with your health, I think you've been duped.  It is a thousand pages of crony, and another thou of ism.

But aside from that, I think the peer pressure thing of being cool by fabricating Trump hate and refusing to accept the transfer of power is a mistake.  Each pseudo intellectual activist tries to impress all his or her peers by coming up with the cleverest of disparaging comments re Trump.  It need not be true or have anything to do with values or actions.  They seem to want to totally disrupt the inauguration.  Third world action.

They call that democracy.  It is purely mob action.  They want a mob big enough to bully the process.  And to what end?  Get your candidate in office?  It is a bad trend.

But mobs stopping traffic and using other forms of force, while claiming to be peacefully protesting has been a danger forever.  Same idiots who thought the orchestrated Arab radicalization and destabilization was the "Arab spring" think this kind of thing is just free speech rather than insanity and bullying.

It is dangerous to go about it like that.  You don't get your way so you shut down businesses and harass people.  They cannot refuse you cakes or service of any sort, but you refuse if you choose.  (directed at progressive 'activists').  You retain your freedom of choice while trying to deny it to others.  Which is it?

Worst case is they disrupt so much that they legitimize some lunatic's declaration of martial law.

Probably won't happen.  But who knows.  My koolaid addled friends who have some connection to academia seem to be screaming "lalalala" while plugging their ears with their fingers.  They only want to hear what they like.  Truth be damned.  If it doesn't further cast aspersions upon their perceived foe, then it cannot be heard.

I see the hard left working themselves up to a dangerous frenzy; to the point where they do not know what it is they even want.  They just know it is cool to imagine further monstrosities about Trump.  True or false.  In their mind it is the same as how no one but white people can be racist; no anti-Trump meme can be false, no matter how untrue.

That is a danger.  The backlash is as worrisome as a president who cannot let one comment pass, no matter how superfluous, without going on a twitter binge in response.  Really the guy is worrisome.  But no more so than the drooling, rabid fanatics over dramatizing and failing to understand the system or the value of truth.  There are legitimate means if an elected official is too far out there.

This hysteria is based on partial truths and is a manipulative effort to gain power. Pure and simple.  So, playing the high road because it seems so easy when Trump is involved, is not the high road when force, hitting horses, and lies are involved.

Saturday, January 14, 2017

Repeal It To See What It Is

The ACA has been both vilified and praised.   Trying to find actual facts to back up either force is tough.  There are people whose deductibles are prohibitive; they would do better out of pocket and no premiums.  Then you hear about people who have coverage which otherwise would not have happened.

In reality, many people don't know what this Obamacare thing is or is not.  Pre-existing conditions is apparently in there.  But pre-existing doctors of choice, not so much.  And it was a lie that if you liked what you had you could keep it.  That is where lots of high deductibles came in.

Of course if you are in a government job or on a government or military pension, you really have little clue how the thing works in the real world.  If you are in Congress, you are special, so all this is for the "masses", not you.

The term, "the masses" is messed up.  I think it came from one of the communist thugs of early 20th century.  Both a telling and a demeaning term, I think.  There are those who like being part of the masses.  The oozing jelly of solidarinosc folk who blanket the streets, harassing the disinterested among the other masses while screaming at some power or another; their idea of God--government.

Anyway, blanket repeal of something no one actually fully understood to begin with is another move in the dark.  It could get weirder than ever.

I know from my own efforts in trying to find and read the affordable care act that it is incredibly obscure and complex and covers thousands of pages of confusion.  Most of it comes down to a clerk's judgment somewhere in the bowels of the federal government.  Surprising how many threads end there in trying to follow that bill.

I do not really know what to make of it.  In principle, the buy or die approach is not what I consider right.  Opting out seems to be a basic right.  But be prepared to die should you get ill rather than expect the good treatment.

By being forced to show coverage, semi poor folk are forced to take your generous subsidies, or else. I know I appreciate it.  But I don't know if what I am doing is really part of that act or not.  I know I pay more than what it would cost out of pocket with no insurance.  But if I progressed to the next phase of this condition, just one month worth of drugs might be 10k or more.  And I could conceivably want some stem cells to go.  That has to be costly.

In no time I'd cost thousands, tens of thousands of dollars more than I pay.  I actually couldn't pay more, and barely swing the bit I do.  If you are so indigent that you pay zip, your choices are very limited, and sometimes the only options available to you are not the best ones, and you will die.  I believe that is the point; make it look like compassion, but really it is just a pretense at care while you die off and shut up.

So, I hate to think of some of these goof balls grand standing over health care while making it worse. They have nothing to lose.  I'm too lazy to follow any money to see who gains.  I just do not think I trust any of them, demo or repub, to do anything sane and useful.

One thing for sure, do not do anything until you know the big picture and know what will work out better.

I believe they figured out the cost of this overly centralized system represented by the ACA was such that they could have just direct paid for people's health care 100% for a long long time, eliminating numerous middle men.

Corruption is a nervy vocation and it is astounding how it is conducted in plain view, yet "the masses" seem to be content to go alng with all pretenses that these people and things they do are not totally engineered and implemented according to corrupt motives and practices.

For God's sake, for my sake, for everyone's sake, will we quit having government by twitter, immediately, please?

Well, Nancy lied.  We did pass the Affordable Care Act, but still do not really know what is in it.  I suspect repealing it will not shed any light on it.  Especially considering the players involved.  Please save me from the Schumers and Warrens and Ryans and McConnells and other grandstanders reaping the spoils of power.

Sunday, January 8, 2017

Town up on the ridge

There is a community up above Harbison Canyon, the community where the wild music ranch is located.   Crest is a suitable name because it is on the crest of that geographical deal going on up there.

Some years ago, but definitely this century, they were devastated by the Cedar Fires.  Like hurricanes, big fires out here have names.  But they usually relatye to the event rather than just name it after your dog or aunt.

They rebuilt, and rebuilt a very nice community building on the edge of the park.  Every other month they have a music night.  It is hosted by a trio called, Baird and Silva.  It used to be a duo until my friend J-Rod was brought aboard to play bass.  Tom Baird is really good.  Love his original stuff.

Anyway the format is three acts or artists play.  Each plays a fairly short set and they go around again.  Sometimes at the end, everyone plays.

I've played Crest Community Center several times, both with Copper Creek and with the current group, Enter the Blue Sky.  And I always love it.  The sound is great, the setting is perfect and it just pleases me.  I also like to go there just to listen.

One problem,  much of the time when I come to listen, I get recruited to play.  I rarely know there songs.  They save the easier 1 4 5 stuff for others I guess.  I get who knows what, and if the Gods aren't pleased, I get stuck playing some friggin' Neil Young cover.    I am not a big Neil Young anything.  I like some of his songs.  I seldom want to play any of his songs.

Oh well.  I got recruited last night.  The guy is good and I didn't want to say no.  They know I don't travel far without my harps in the car.  I guess I did OK.

A couple of other friends were playing and even though I love playing with them other times, I was grateful they did not succumb to any thought of having me sit in.  I liked hearing the combination of those two, plus the girl with harmonies.  There are times it is better when I sit and listen and enjoy.  Plus, I already know their opinion of my playing so no need to be concerned about hurt feelings if they don't redo a pre-planned gig to include me at last minute.

It is flattering to walk into a place slide in to the middle of the room, being anonymous and then be summoned immediately by the performers.  It is nice.  I am so surprised how often that occurs.  Especially because I try not to make it happen in most cases.

But last night, it was OK.  I needed the contact.  I am a little shaky in the mental health department, I suppose.  The ending jam was much fun.  The quality of the musicians last night was just tops.  Truth is, the music I most enjoy these days seems to be music my friends play.

If I could describe what is my issue or conflict or whatever, the picture would look really stupid, so I will shutup and get better.

Crest is really cool.  Way up on a ridge.  Muriel and I took a walk back behind the park and you could see El Cajon and beyond to the west, three or four thousand feet below stretching out for a couple dozen miles toward the coast.  A sea of lights.  But up there is mostly dark.  Damn barky dogs caused me to turn around.  Good for owners--to a point.  But they screw up the leisurely stroll.

Not as afraid of strange snarling dogs as I have been most of my life, but still not good with it.  Even though I get along with everyone's dogs very well in most settings.  It's the unknown snarlers that trouble me.  I guess you tend to be a little shy if you ever got a taste of an attack dog wanting to rip your thigh.  Fortunately my friend at 10 years old was able to immediately pull his psycho dog off before damage got done.  We were both 10.

They called my house worried we might sue.  So glad we weren't of that ilk.  They got rid of the dog. Had not had it long.  It was nuts but trained guard dog. Shepherd.  He answered door and bam His dog, Ted Bundy, ran past him,. latched onto my thigh and started shaking back and forth.  But he let the kid pull him off and give whatever command.  I don't care what you say, you get jerk animals just like you get jerk humans.  Happens.

So, nice place usually for a walk.  But anywhere you go is hard to walk because people's dogs do not know when to harass you and when not to.  Dogs that know that stuff are the minority.   Same with people, now that you mention it.

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Ballistic Mountain, CA, United States
Like spring on a summer's day


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