Thursday, August 27, 2015

Yikes and stuff

It does get old finding that not too many people can follow a sentence this long.  And not many can properly interpret even that basic level of complexity.

I'd say it is not their fault, but much of the time it is.  That is because people refuse to step back and accept that, sometimes, what they want to be true simply is not.  Greed and cowardice fuel the purposeful ignorance as much as anything.  Fear of not being part of the herd, and ignoring truth as a result, is cowardice in my book.  Much more so than suicide.  Odd juxtaposition. But that school which calls suicide cowardly is pure ignorant BS.  It annoys me.

But the refusal to see reality out of belonging to some team or because it gives you a way to be accepted is sad.  But maybe it is the smart thing.  Either way people freak when their treasured illusion is revealed.

I think a whole slough of people suffer that in the case of Obama, as just one example.  Everyone wants to believe he is not owned by big money and is totally above board.  If confronted with any duplicity on his part, they immediately shout, "but, right wing!!!! but Bush!!!!  but Republican!!!", etc.  It would be funny if it weren't so bizarrely scary.

They fall for the idea that you must pick one of two teams.  Which of the establishment's choices do you like?  Any flavor you want, as long as it is chocolate or vanilla.

I have rarely seen anything like it.

People often ignore the context and qualifiers of a statement so that they can ignorantly go off on someone.  Often me.  Makes me think I should have read the book by Glenn Beck, "Arguing With Idiots".  I love the title, and remember seeing the cover in airport shops.  The title and cover were great, no matter how one may feel about the author.  I can identify with the sentiment.  (I'm pretty sure it goes of on a tack which is not what I'm after here, but that is irrelevant.  I like it for the pictures.)

As soon as you see yourself pulled out of context for what appears to be the pleasure of your antagonist, who obviously loves to do verbal battle for the sake of the battle itself, you know the conversation will never be more than an unpleasant waste of time.

I've known people that counter logic and proof with things like, "That's your truth, not mine", "There is no absolute truth, everyone's reality is different", etc.  Or, "Oh, that's your logic.  I'm more intuitive."

Great.  So you learn to get along with dimwits and to avoid constant conflict, you begin to dumb yourself down.  It is a mistake.  Put up with the arrogant jerks who feign an air of superiority, and smash them. At least you will have a higher level of discourse and self esteem.

Or you may find some like minded people who can accept new information, even when it bursts their little bubble of preconceived belief and such.  Once in awhile I wonder what I got myself into. I can almost visualize what's what, but not for long.  Some false narrative runs in my mind which has always ensured my obscurity, and poverty of sorts.  Much to the pleasure of some, I fear.  Not that they would all admit to such sick and sneaky sadistic pleasure.


Back in the Fight, or trying to be

This serious depression issue is a nuisance, to say the least.  I know it involves a lot of lies which cloud the mind, but it takes a lot not to feed and believe the destructive pronouncements which run through my mind.  People deal with those things.

Life is a lot of adjust and adapt and compensate for the weaknesses.  Deal with it.  Just how it works. It is not a thing of being a victim really.

That brings me to my resistance to people being described as victims of hurricanes and other incidents in nature.  Come on.  Humans are made to find ways to steel themselves against the hostile environment in which we live.  That does not make us victims. What a stupid outlook.  If we are victims for living on earth then what is the alternative?  Things happen.  It is all physics and such and alleged scientists do not know it all. They know it some.  The ego bound doctors and scientists of the world want to halt advancement right here because they are lazy, arrogant, insufferable creeps.

Really adept scientists and doctors are not fearful of what they don't know.  They like to learn and convincing you of their superiority is not job 1, like it is for my hematologist.  Soon, I expect to can this guy.

For awhile I was so sick of this whole semi-cancer issue that I quit looking into it and all that.  But I cannot let it go because when the blood levels are left on their own, I get the itching attacks and such.  With or without treatment, fatigue is the norm.

Anyway, I am almost sure the dx is slightly off.  I will annoy anyone reading with initials, which I hate, but I don't care.  I do not think PV makes sense.  We are solidly in the realm of myeloproliferative disorders. Bone marrow malfunctions.  There are different ones.  I just don't think it makes sense to dx a disorder which is characterized by too many red blood cells when the count is normal or low.  And when anemia is a marked issue.  All that is low.  Other stuff is high, and I am thinking we need the bone marrow biopsy, even though I have avoided it.

But this crazy ass doctor is not who I want doing it.  He doesn't even read the file, and he ignores every symptom I describe, claiming those things are "separate issues, not related" to the blood troubles.  Wrong.  They are directly related and something is being missed.  I am almost too tired to care, but fortunately I can get enough anger going for some adrenalin to kick in.

Rational anger.  The kind that is measured but is based upon logic and solutions and lack of tolerance for ego bound, pompous nincompoops whose insistence on maintaining their superiority could cost years off your life.  I won't have it any more.  This is why I bring my good friend the ex trauma nurse with me.  Otherwise I might explode and end up in jail.  Seriously.

How did the medical world turn into this?  Oh well, lots of people manage to benefit.  And the ones who die aren't around to complain.  But, believe me, having a rare disease is very risky when you have a pompous egomaniac for a doctor.  They are too closed minded not to kill you before getting it right.

Being poor, depressed and sick make it difficult to get in front of the curve, but I will.  If I happen to die as a result of these creepy guys I hope their names are smeared by my friends.  Right now I will say, do not go to Dr Flores, internist or Dr Saven , oncologist/hematologist.  I want to punch both of them right now, or else get my money back.  Maybe in another life they'd be great, but the bureaucratic mess has brought out their cowardice in the form of arrogance and disrespect.  Afraid of being sued for being creepos who do not know it all.

Geez.  Doctors whose number one goal is shielding themselves from responsibility get no respect from me.  I've had it.  But I have a plan,. so we shall see.

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Ballistic Mountain, CA, United States
Like spring on a summer's day


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